


Nesert III

by MLily727



Series: Nesert [3]
Category: Stargate - All Media Types, Stargate Atlantis, Stargate SG-1
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, Seasons 9-10, Stargate Continuum - Freeform, Stargate: The Ark of Truth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:28:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 33
Words: 122,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26301199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MLily727/pseuds/MLily727
Summary: "It felt entirely too dangerous to be anything but fully Sekhmet, and yet, Nes couldn't do that. Not now. Not with him." Final installment of Nesert, overlapping with SG1 seasons 9-10, a few dips into SGA, and movies. Original character story intertwining with series without disrupting canon. Completed and will post several chapters a week.
Relationships: Ba'al/Original Character, Clone Ba'al/Original Character, Kevin Elliot/Original Character
Series: Nesert [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1855279
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	1. Chapter 1

“Whenever you’re ready,” Nes said calmly.

“Best to just get it over with, I suppose.” Alpha looked to Nes, who nodded in agreement. “I expect to be amply rewarded for all of this, Sekhmet.”

She smiled as she took a seat in an armchair next to the bed. “Of course. I look forward to it more than you know.”

With that, Alpha closed his eyes and his face became more strained as the pain began to tighten all of his muscles. He was in agony, but trying to keep silent for as long as possible.

_ The pain started slowly in the back of their neck before it radiated into the skull. From there it spread to the rest of their body, fire and needles and knives and broken bones. Tessa felt her own little corner catch fire and burn away, shoving her forward into the full force of agony, and the scream for a moment seemed to be symbiote and host as both minds were in control and tormented together. _

_ Tessa could hear Sekhmet’s scream start to slip away as her own voice gained dominance, but it felt empty and distant, things were missing, and in the midst of the pain she couldn’t think enough to pinpoint what was wrong. The pain began to fade away, first from their hands and feet, being pulled back towards their core, the tide sliding off the beach, but the pain in their head only morphed into an intense ache, pulling Tessa under the waves she could no longer tread. _

Nes hated it. She hated seeing her own experiences from the outside and finally a scream poured out of Alpha’s mouth that filled her own body as well.

He was killing himself and didn’t even realize it.

Eventually, the scream hollowed out and softened, and she could hear the deep despair and loss within it. She closed her eyes against it, but it still tightened her chest with the memories of Sekhmet’s and her own torment.

_ I’ve already said we’re the same. We’re one _ .

The emotions whirled in her head and body, mixing until she could no longer distinguish which had belonged to her and which had been left behind by the goa’uld.

_ Fear, disgust, hope, despair, hatred, bitterness, determination, resolve, then back through all of them again. _

Nes was breathing hard now, grasping at Sekhmet’s superior control, though she found her goa’uld side seemed resistant to provide comfort for her in these moments, instead shoving forward sorrow, shame, loathing, and desperation. Sekhmet’s feelings at the end.

Alpha’s eyes opened, tears spilling down the sides of his face, and he stared up at the ceiling, his breathing trying to normalize. Nes remembered that moment. That horrible and beautiful and destructive and creative moment.

_ I’m alone. _

This was where the true struggle may lie.

“What did you do to me?” His voice was raw and thick and he turned his eyes to lock onto hers.

Nes simply stared, grasping her hands together to stop the shaking, too afraid to voice any of her thoughts and questions.

“You’re not Sekhmet,” he finally said.

She still kept silent. She needed to steady her breathing. She needed to find Sekhmet’s calm.

“He’s gone.” He closed his eyes. “Alpha’s gone.” He turned his head to look at her again, this time with accusation. “You tricked him.”

Defensiveness finally forced her to speak in a sharp tone. “And you’re upset about that.”

“Yes! No. What did you do to me?!” His breathing quickened again and she could see the panic taking over.

Nes didn’t want to watch and remember her own first days, so she finally rose and grabbed the syringe she’d already prepared and injected it into his arm. It calmed him quickly, forcing him to trudge through a muddy mind. She should have thought to provide a lesser dose for herself, but even just the simple task of drugging him seemed to finally give her the ability to distance herself from what she’d just witnessed, from what she’d just been forced to remember.

“What’s your name?” Nes needed to have a name to mentally refer to, needed something to call him other than ‘Alpha.’

“Adaarbal.” He choked out the name with disgust. “Ba’al is powerful.”

“Why don’t I just call you Adaar then? How long were you Ba’al’s host, Adaar?”

He shook his head. “Two thousand one hundred forty-seven years.”

Nes drew in a breath of shock. She hadn’t realized Ba’al had used him for that long. What had she done?

His eyes went wide. “That’s not my memory…what did you  _ do _ to me?” He tried to sit up and flopped back onto the bed in frustration. “Untie me, Sekhmet!” He looked over at her again. “Tessa. You’re Tessa James.”

Her old name conjured up old emotions. “I used to be.”

“But now you’re like... _ this _ .”

Nes nodded.

“There’s too much space...I can’t...you should have just killed us!” Even with the drugs in his system, the change was too much for him and he was spiraling out of control.

“Adaar,” she said calmly but loudly as she came over, sitting on the edge of the bed. “Adaar, you need to breathe. Pull up Alpha to help you get control again.”

“Pull him up?” His eyes were full of alarm at her suggestion.

“Think back to when he calmed himself when upset. Remember how he would exert that control over your body. Do what he did.”

Adaar closed his eyes and Nes took hold of his hand. He flinched away initially, but then grasped tightly to her. She had to take her own advice, pulling up Sekhmet as she stared at the palms and fingers holding onto one another. What had she done?

Slowly, his breathing began to normalize and his muscles relaxed. When Nes looked up, his eyes were now filled with curiosity and she quickly released his hand and stood to get away.

“Good,” she said as she sat down in the chair again, flexing her fingers to attempt to rid herself of the need to resume the contact. “Better now?” She kept her eyes away from his, smoothing away unseen wrinkles in her pants.

“The Goa’uld have been wrong about She’kets,” he said quietly.

_ Disgust. Filth. Shame. Double. _

“Yes.”

_ “Everyone _ has been wrong about She’kets.”

_ Destroy. The pouring of molten metal into a cast. Loathing. Cutting off. Devour. _

“Yes.” Nes wrapped her arms around herself and finally let her eyes lock onto his again. “It’s not the goa’uld who takes over.”

_ Joining. Silence. Ending. _

He took a deep breath. “It’s the host.”

_ Abomination. _

Nes nodded.

“How long have you been like this?” His voice held so much confusion and fear and Nes began to push her fingernails into her palm to distract her from the memories that pressed on her mind.

“About six years now.” How had it been that long?

“You act just like her.”

Her defensiveness sprang up again, but she took the necessary moments to calm and respond. “Around you...Alpha. Around Ba’al.”

“I still have all of his memories. All his knowledge, his...feelings, his wants, his needs.”

“Those won’t go away, unfortunately, but you can learn to control them somewhat.”

He looked up at the ceiling for a while before quietly telling her he was tired. Nes could see the weariness that had sunk onto him. She remembered that. But was he really Adaar? Was he still more Alpha? There was no real way to know. She could  _ feel _ the change in him. She knew his symbiote was gone, but if he was like her...Alpha was still very much a part of him and she was unsure how strong Adaar would be at fighting his influence, especially after so very long as a host.

“Would you like to shower and change before sleeping?” She tried to keep the hesitancy out of her voice, but his face demonstrated that she hadn’t done a good enough job.

“You’ll release me?”

“I’ll have to eventually.”

Adaar nodded and raised his wrists as far as possible in a small gesture of hope. She came forward slowly, both individuals keeping their eyes trained on one another, both potential threats to the other.

She undid the restraints on his ankles first and then moved to his wrists. He stayed perfectly still, understanding that she was now even more of a danger to him in his weakened state.

“The bathroom is through that door and everything you need should be in there. I’ll grab some clothes for you.”

He got up slowly from the bed, his muscles clearly tired and sore and Nes waited until she heard the water running before leaving the room to gather what she needed. Adaar took quite a long time, which wasn’t surprising, but somewhere along the way, Nes’ hands had found a scrap of paper.

_ She’d done the right thing. She’d done the wrong thing. Right thing. Wrong thing. Right. Wrong. Right. Wrong. _

A noise from the bathroom halted her back and forth, and her eyes now saw that the bedroom floor was littered with the tiny pieces she’d been ripping apart. She dropped to her knees in a panic, desperately trying to rid the room of the evidence of her lack of control, of her internal argument.

The water shut off and Nes lunged for the last few scraps, scrambling to her feet and hastily shoving the paper into her pockets, just as the bathroom door opened. Adaar came out into the bedroom in a towel looking much more refreshed.

He caught her eyes on him and Nes was suddenly struck with the horror of the things she’d done to Adaar’s body, both pain and pleasure. Things he had never been a part of, but witnessed all the same, and she was filled with an intense level of shame and guilt.

“Do you need anything else? Otherwise I’ll let you get some rest.”

She’d known his face for three years now, but had never known Adaar. She needed to get away from him, needed a chance to fix the dam that had sprung a leak. She would drown staying here.

“Actually...I’m hungry.”

Nes blushed. “Of course...I didn’t exactly feed you well the last few days…” The things she’d done to him! “What would you like?”

It was a simple question, but Nes watched as his body grew weary and he sat down onto the bed. “I haven’t decided what to eat in...well, in two thousand one hundred forty-seven years. I haven’t decided  _ anything _ .”

Nes wanted to retreat, but she forced herself to stand still and simply wait for him to move past the despair on his own. She couldn’t help him there, and it was better for him to learn to regulate his emotions on his own anyway.

Eventually he rose and ran his fingers through his hair and Nes again had to push back the guilt that rose up in her throat. “Why don’t you get dressed and just come find me in the kitchen?”

He nodded and she turned quickly to leave, shutting the door and leaning against the wall for a moment to pull up Sekhmet’s control to push down everything she couldn’t handle. More than two thousand years and now she’d done  _ this _ to him! How was he even intact at all?

She needed a drink. Preferably more than one.

Adaar joined her just as she was slamming back a second glass of wine and he raised an eyebrow, but didn’t speak as she turned to face him.

Nes went quickly to the fridge and pulled out various dishes for him to choose from. “I can always go pick up something else if none of this works.”

He held up a hand dismissively. “This is fine. It all looks good.” He ended up selecting a simple sandwich and paired it with a beer while Nes flitted around the kitchen nervously, trying to keep her hands and mind busy enough to ignore him.

He ate quickly and then another sandwich was also gone in a few minutes.

What had she done to him!

“Thank you. I feel much better now.”

Nes nodded dumbly. The wine had dulled the intensity, the sharpness of her mind and memories, and she could feel herself retreating, choosing numbness over pain.

“Where are we? You never told me...us...Alpha.”

“Spain.”

His eyes glazed slightly and she guessed he was hunting for information about their location in Alpha’s knowledge. “I have memories of this area, though I’m guessing it’s very different now.”

Again she nodded, unsure of how to interact with him. It felt entirely too dangerous to be anything but fully Sekhmet, and yet, she couldn’t do that. Not now. Not with him.

“Do you mind if we go outside?” His mannerisms were so different and it made her even more uneasy.

“Of course.” She guided him out a side door that led to an incredible view of the green hills rolling out away from the stone villa.

“It’s beautiful. I can see why you bought this house.”

“Yes, it’s one of my favorites. It was one of Sekhmet’s as well.”

“How do you sort it out? The memories all feel like mine.”

“It gets easier in some ways, but everything just...mixes.”

“And you don’t call yourself Tessa anymore?”

“No, I started going by Nesert...Nes about a year afterwards.”

“One of Sekhmet’s names.”

Nes nodded. “I’d just spent a long time pretending to be her and then, when I thought I’d escaped, the Tok’ra asked me to be her again. I felt more like Sekhmet than Tessa, so it only seemed natural to rename myself accordingly.”

“And now? Who do you feel like now?”

She stared out over the hills and took a few deep breaths. “I don’t know. I know who I  _ want _ to be, but it seems I keep ending up as Sekhmet again.”

They both went silent, breathing slowly, thinking, trying to form questions they weren’t sure they wanted the answers to, and looking out at the grass and sky with their own eyes, directing their gazes wherever they wanted, a luxury to two former hosts.

Nes noted his shoulders beginning to sag and suggested he go lie down. It had been an incredibly long and difficult day for him. For her, too.

She led him back up to his room, as he couldn’t remember which way he’d gone to get to the kitchen earlier.

“Do you need anything else?” Nes’ fingers fidgeted, so terribly uncomfortable around him now and unable to use her normal techniques in handling him.

“Thank you,” Adaar said as he stood in the doorway.

He shouldn’t be thanking her. He should hurt her, kill her.

Nes didn’t respond and he took a step to close the gap Nes had intentionally left. “Thank you for freeing me.”

She hadn’t freed him. She’d destroyed him.

Nes began to step backwards, but Adaar slipped a hand around her waist.

“Adaar, I should go.”

“Don’t leave yet.” His voice had taken on the seductive undertones that Ba’al sometimes used and Nes’ body froze against it. He brought his other hand up to her face and kissed her gently, but Nes didn’t return his affection. Was this Adaar or Alpha? Or Ba’al? Did he want Sekhmet or Nes? Perhaps even Tessa?

“Adaar, I don’t know you.”

His eyes narrowed and his jaw tightened and Nes began to see Alpha looking back at her. “That never stopped you from kissing me before.”

“I’m sorry.” She knew he could hear her fear. “You’re right...but I’m not sure what else I could have done and still maintained the facade.” She needed to get away. Her own guilt and shame had distracted her from the threat he still was. Alpha was not gone any more than Sekhmet was.

He smirked at her. “Well, here’s your chance to make it up to me.”

Gone was any pretense as he kissed her hard, but when she still resisted, Nes could feel his anger intensify. He was Alpha now just as fully as when she handed herself over to Sekhmet’s personality.

“So you were content to kiss me when it was Ba’al or Alpha controlling me? But not now? Not when I’m in control?”

Panic began to shake her voice. “You’re not, Adaar. You’re not in control.” He would kill her again. She had to get away!

“Perhaps Alpha had the right idea back in the garage.” The threatening tone in his voice was soon mirrored by his hands roughly dragging her into the room and tossing her towards the bed.

“Adaar! Please!” Nes yelled as she tried to push him away, but he only held onto her tighter. “Adaarbal! Fight him. Fight Alpha.  _ Please! _ ”

He pulled back, his face pale and filled with horror. “What did you  _ do _ to me?” He rolled off her and Nes jumped up and away from the bed, moving towards the door.

“You’ve turned me into a monster!” Adaar got up and slowly walked towards her, his voice shifting deeper automatically with the intense emotion he felt. “All that time as his host, at least it wasn’t really  _ me _ doing any of those things, but now...you’ve turned me into HIM!”

Nes kept backing towards the door, stumbling over her own feet as her legs threatened to give out, but he kept pursuing her, kept hold of her eyes as he came towards her again. What had she done? 

“Do you have _any_ _idea_ the things he made me do? The people I watched my hands kill, the women I...my own wife. I had to watch him with _my_ wife! And you made me into HIM!”

Nes was dumbstruck by the change, but the shame and guilt she’d felt earlier came rushing back.

“Why? Why would you do this to me? You should have killed me!”

Nes began to shift her hand toward her bracelet. She had to get away. Adaar saw the movement, though, and sprung forward, anger quickening his reflexes. He grabbed her wrist and got a hand around her throat, pushing her out the door and against the wall.

“You don’t get to escape that easily, my dear,” he said with a low growl. “Tell me why you did this! Did you just want someone else to suffer with you? Were you tired of being the only She’ket? WHY?”

Nes tried clawing at his hand, but his fury left no room for noticing anything beyond his own thoughts. It was only as she began to cough and gasp for air that his eyes went wide and flashed again. He released her very suddenly and she collapsed to the floor, grabbing at her throat and taking big gulps of air.

Adaar yelled in rage and grabbed a vase from a table to throw down the hall, shattering it, before sliding down the wall across from her to sit, his head in his hands. They sat there for a long time, Nes occasionally coughing and massaging her neck, and when Adaar looked up, his face was tear stained and his eyes pleaded with her.

“Why? Why did you do this to me?”

Nes sighed and covered her own face for a few moments before looking up at the ceiling and responding in a shaking whisper. “Curiosity.”

“Curiosity? You did  _ this _ to me simply to satisfy your own curiosity?”

“I’m sorry.” Her voice broke and she had to quickly blink away tears. Those would drown her even faster. “I wasn’t entirely sure I even  _ was _ a She’ket, just that that’s what Sekhmet was  _ trying _ to do. And I...I didn’t think of how it would be different for a...a regular host.”

“A regular host?”

Nes let her hand drag down her face. “Sekhmet interacted with me, even gave me control when it suited her.” She pulled up enough courage to look at him directly. “She’d turned me into a monster long before I ever became a She’ket.”

Adaar raised an eyebrow at her admission. “You want me to be Alpha, don’t you? To go back to Ba’al.”

She looked back at the floor, exhaustion replacing panic, despair replacing hope. “That was the plan, but you don’t have to.”

“No?”

“I’m not a goa’uld, Adaar.” Was that even true? “You’re free to do as you please.”

“He needs to be stopped.”

“I agree, but he’s not your responsibility.”

“He’s not yours either.”

“I should have killed him on Asdad.” Nes couldn’t help but smirk. “Well, left him dead. Made sure he couldn’t be revived.” The smirk faded. “I was a coward.”

“You would have killed me, too, then,” he said quietly.

“Yes...I was going to kill you both after the betrayal on Dakara, too. The clones complicated matters.”

“That was the idea.” He gave her his own smirk, Ba’al’s smirk, Alpha’s smirk, and Nes sighed in frustration as she tried to figure out how to interact with the man across from her.

“I just see Alpha and Ba’al in front of me,” she finally said.

“And I just see Sekhmet.” He leaned forward with a dark look. “And all the things Ba’al and Alpha wanted to do to you.” He drew in a deep breath and his body relaxed into it. “You should leave.”

Nes nodded. She understood. Alpha would be back if she stayed. “Will you be here when I come back in the morning?”

“Yes. Just go.” He started to grit his teeth and Nes quickly climbed to her feet and pressed the blue stone on her bracelet to beam away.

What had she done?


	2. Chapter 2

Once aboard her tel’tak, she collapsed into the pilot’s chair and tried to shove aside all of the processing that her brain was attempting. She couldn’t think about any of it right now, the horror of what she’d done to Adaar. It was too much for the moment and she needed to check in with Ba’al still.

After beaming back to her house and changing, she jumped in her car and drove over to Ba’al’s, glad that he was there and she wouldn’t have to wait around with the clones for him to return.

“How was your day?” she asked as she came toward him with a light kiss.

“Frustrating, but we’re working out the transition. Yours?”

Nes had to smile at the complete normality of their interactions sometimes. “Fine. I was away from Earth for so long, I couldn’t exactly sort things out from a hospital bed once back.” She added an edge to the last few words, reminding Ba’al of what he’d done to her.

“Have you had dinner?” He waited for her to shake her head. “Good. You can join me.”

They ordered in and Nes kept finding herself staring at her companion, wondering about the original Adaar still trapped behind Ba’al’s mind. She never should have done what she did. She didn’t want to know his name and what Ba’al had done to him. It had been easier when she could pretend Adaar wasn’t there at all, that he wasn’t having to witness her interactions with his body, but not his mind.

Unfortunately, Ba’al took her behavior as reflective of desire and he didn’t hesitate to capitalize on it, but Nes could barely bring herself to respond, so filled with shame over her actions.

“What’s wrong?”

Nes could hear the suspicion in his voice and ran through various excuses trying to find one that would help her escape for the night.

“I’m sorry. I’m just distracted this evening trying to figure out how and when to go back to Stargate Command. The last few days complicated things rather significantly.”

“You do not  _ need _ to go back. We’re monitoring their communications.” He brushed his lips against hers. “It’s time for you to take your place by my side.”

“Once we go public, there will be no undoing it. No one at the SGC will trust me anymore.”

“It will not matter.”

Nes pushed him away. “Well, then, you know what needs to happen next. I really should be going this evening.”

“I’m afraid I haven’t been able to focus on any of that with recent events.”

She patted his cheek with a smile. “Well, once things have calmed down then.”

“And will you be expecting the elaborate marriage traditions this country seems to be so fond of?”

Nes laughed lightly. “Some of them will be necessary for show, darling. You  _ are _ a public figure now.”

“Of course.”

“Consider it a chance to establish your public identity.” She glanced at her watch. “I really should get home.”

“You are incredibly frustrating, my dear.” Ba’al gave her a charming smile.

“And also worth the wait and effort.” She kissed him and stood. “Goodnight.”

Nes drove home, but she needed a touchpoint on reality and herself. She beamed up to her ship and directed it over Colorado Springs, checking that Sam was at her house alone and there were no signs of monitoring.

Nes surprised her like she always did, appearing in the kitchen while Sam was grabbing some food.

“Nes! Where have you been?” Sam put a hand to her chest trying to steady her heart, but her eyes showing that she could see the change in the other woman. “Ba’al.”

“I’m afraid his offer of a sarcophagus was one I couldn’t refuse in my prior condition.” Nes went to the cabinet for a glass and helped herself to some water. Anything stronger would have to wait.

“You could have helped us out with the Seattle situation.”

“I only just got my ship back and I’m afraid I haven’t had enough time to really get the lay of the land with his operations here on Earth.” She smiled at Sam. “Though it seems you handled things just fine without me..”

“Barely.”

“Well, you certainly ruffled Ba’al’s feathers, though I think he was secretly glad Seattle was left intact.”

“So he  _ is _ still alive then.”

“Of course. You know Ba’al. He’s only second to me in terms of survival.”

Sam watched her carefully as she spoke. “ **We discovered a lab containing equipment and data related to genetic replication** when we searched the compound.”

“Damn. I didn’t know it was there. I would have snuck off to investigate.”

“So it was a clone Gerak killed.” Sam needed definite confirmation.

“Yes. But there’s still more of them.”

“How many?”

“Well, I’ve heard of ten. Gerak killed one and another has gone missing. Plus Ba’al himself.”

“Ten! And they’re all just like him?”

Nes shrugged. “Mostly.”

Sam had to sit down and moved to the living room. “Nes...ten! And will he make more?”

Nes sat down as well. “I expect so.”

“Where?”

“I don’t know.”

“Nes…” Sam’s voice held some suspicion.

“They’re still working to find a new base of operations. I genuinely don’t know at this point.”

“So what now?”

“Well, first off, this is maybe obvious to you now with the last few days, but they’re tapped into all of your communications. They’re deeper than I would have ever guessed. You need to either change some things or use it against them.”

“Any more details for me to go on?”

Nes shook her head. “I only had a few days before all of this.”

“And what’s  _ your  _ next step?”

Nes sighed. “Not sure yet. I’m trying to figure out the new dynamics with Ba’al and his clones and all of it.”

“He still trusts you then? He gave you back your ship.”

“He seems to, but it’s the clones that are more of a problem right now.”

Sam raised her eyebrows. “Why’s that?”

“Because they want what they can’t have.”

“Ah,” Sam said slowly with a nod. “And I’m guessing Ba’al is the jealous type.”

“Very.”

“So how are you going to handle that?”

“Well, for starters, I moved into my own house, but I don’t know beyond that yet. I’m working on some options, but I’m not sure they’re going to pan out anymore.”

“You can always just walk away, Nes. Come back to the SGC.”

“And what? You’ll protect me or something like that? We both know Ba’al wouldn’t let me get away with betraying or abandoning  _ him _ .” She rubbed her eyes in exhaustion. “No, I’ll have to stick this out until I’m able to kill him and his copies.”

“What do you need from us then?”

“I don’t know yet. I’ll be in touch. I better head home. It’s been a very long few days.” She released a long sigh.

“Nes...are you okay?” Sam had true concern on her face as she watched the younger woman stand.

“Of course,” she responded in a hollow voice. “I’m always okay.” Nes gave her a bitter smile and then beamed away, needing something strong enough to end the day and get to tomorrow.

******

In the morning (after a large amount of coffee), Nes beamed back to the house in Torrelavega, quietly and cautiously walking through the halls and rooms, looking for Adaar. She finally wandered outside and found him perched on a stone wall.

He didn’t change his expression as she approached, just watched her carefully.

“Good morning, Adaar.” She kept her voice formal.

“Good morning,  _ Nesert. _ ” He mimicked her formality, but there was a distinct edge to how he said her name.

“How are you? Did you sleep well?”

A flash of contempt passed over his face before he looked up at the sky. “I’ve decided to be Alpha like you wanted.”

Nes took a deep breath. “Why?”

Adaar shrugged. “Why else? Revenge. I want him to pay for what he did to me...to my family.”

“Are you sure?”

He nodded slowly. “Even if he hadn’t killed my wife and children...they’d be long dead by now. Everyone I ever knew is long dead.”

The pain in his voice stripped Nes of her aloof manner. “I’m sorry, Adaar.” She waited for him to look up. “I was wrong to do this to you.”

“Will he always be this difficult to control?”

“I don’t know.” How could she possibly know what his experience in this would be like? “I find Sekhmet tends to show up more in certain situations or around certain people.”

“Like Ba’al.”

“Yes.”

“And Alpha.”

She nodded.

“You bring out Alpha.”

Nes sighed. “That’s not surprising considering our history.”

“I did better once you were gone, controlling it, but now you’re here and I can feel him fighting for dominance.” He shifted to Alpha’s smirk suddenly and crossed his arms. “The things I want to do to you.”

Nes couldn’t hold back one of Sekhmet’s sneers. “Oh, believe me. I feel the same.”

He let his eyes roam over her. “I doubt it.”

Nes tried to rid her face of the goa’uld, needing to redirect the conversation. “Do you think you can hold onto yourself enough to actually help me?”

Adaar took several deep breaths and stared at the ground. “If I don’t need to be around you.”

“I doubt we’d need much contact beyond touching base every now and then. It would be suspicious if we interacted more than that.”

His face filled with disgust. “Yes, we wouldn’t want Ba’al to get jealous.”

“We wouldn’t want Ba’al to kill us in horrific ways,” she spat back.

“True.”

“Any information that would be helpful to me  _ now _ ?”

Nes could see his skepticism along with what she suspected was the same self preservation she was so fond of. She was hardly the most trustworthy person and she  _ had _ just finished torturing and tricking him.

“Most of my…Alpha’s time was spent at Farrow-Marshall, handling business affairs.”

“And you expect me to believe that you have no knowledge of the other facets of Ba’al’s operations?”

He gave her a sly smile. “You definitely should have used Beta for this.”

“I would have if he weren’t dead.”

“What are we going to do about Kappa? Or to him? I wouldn’t mind giving him a turn in your little house of horrors.”

Nes chuckled. “I wouldn’t mind your assistance.”

They were going down a dangerous path, resuming the parts they’d soon be forced to play. She had to remove herself, but all she could manage was to simply turn and walk away. Adaar followed, jogging to cut off her path.

“When do you want to start?” he was back to himself again and looking nervous about his planned role.

She resumed the formality. “That will be up to you. When do you think you’ll be ready? And what excuse will you use?”

“Captured,” he said quickly. “Alpha would never have missed the Hammel acquisition for a woman...unless it were you, of course.”

Nes ignored his suggestion. “Captured by?”

Adaar shrugged. “A different group of Jaffa? A rival of some kind? Something more...terrestrial?”

Nes thought for a moment. “Trust operatives who were getting suspicious of goa’uld involvement?”

He nodded. “The operation is large enough to blame a few rogue agents and then claim that was I able to overpower and kill them.”

“And then clean up the mess.”

“Of course,” he said with Alpha’s smirk as he leaned toward her. “You’ve seen how good we are at cleaning up bodies.”

Nes reached a hand up to her chest instinctively and Adaar’s face shifted to shame.

“Fine,” she continued. “When do you want to go back then?”

She could see him turn inward for a moment before pushing his shoulders back. “We could go now.”

Nes shook her head. “It’s far too soon. Give it a bit more time.”

“And I’m just supposed to sit around here in the meantime?” He sounded just as horrified as she would have been, freshly melded with Sekhmet.

“Go for walks. Swim. Read a book. You’ll figure it out.” She dismissed him with a wave of her hand and tried to step around him, but he blocked her again.

“You did this to me and now you’re just going to abandon me here?”

Nes flashed her eyes at him. “Don’t you  _ dare _ talk to me about abandonment. You left me to die on Dakara!”

“ _ I _ didn’t do any of that.”

Nes straightened in surprise, completely unable to keep Adaar separate from Ba’al and Alpha in her mind. She shook her head slightly. “It’s not my job to entertain you. You’ll be fine. I’ll make sure food is delivered. I’ll stop by long enough to keep you updated, but hopefully not so long that you attack me again.”

He crossed his arms in defiance. “If you want me to apologize, I won’t. You made me like this.”

Nes walked past him. “Yes, you’ve reminded me of that several times. Perhaps we can move past that now.” She gave up trying to keep Sekhmet’s personality down, her annoyance requiring the goa’uld mannerisms to both convey it and dispel it.

Adaar chased after her. “I need something to do, Sekh--” He coughed. “Nes. I need something to do...Nes.”

“Work on your cover story. You can do that. Learn about Earth. Learn about American culture.” She looked at her watch. “I need to go. You’ll be fine.” And with that she tapped her bracelet and left him to his own thoughts, a possibly dangerous decision, but escape was more important to her for the moment.

It had been curiosity, yes, but also a small wish that there would be someone like her, someone who could understand the internal battle she fought.

She should have known that he would be unable to move beyond their previous interactions.

How could he not? She’d used him, tortured him, killed him, helped and comforted the one who had stolen his life, and then she’d been a goa’uld through and through: she’d given his mind and body over to Ba’al entirely with no hope for escape except in death.

She was a monster.

******

Nes shifted fully into Sekhmet for the next week. The goa’uld personality easily kept her from feeling any of the shame and guilt that her actions required, but the more she used Sekhmet, the more shame and guilt she built up and the more it would crash in on her when she tried to emerge as dominant. She’d thrown herself into a dangerous cycle that she wasn’t sure she could escape.

She needed physical separation from her life, from Ba’al, from Adaar, from Kappa, from all the other clones, but she saw no chance of leaving any of them behind.

It hadn’t been easy, but she’d managed to start some rumors that there were those within The Trust who were more than a little curious about who was running things now. Nes then wondered aloud once or twice if it were possible that  _ they _ were the ones responsible for Alpha’s disappearance.

Ba’al had been skeptical at first, but when Alpha showed up at the house one night with news that he’d been captured by several people claiming to be a part of The Trust, Ba’al had been furious. Alpha was confident in their destruction, though, and had tortured several of them to confirm they were alone in their suspicions before he’d disposed of them. Ba’al began to relax again, glad that his first clone was returned to him.

Nes had made sure to be present with the return of the prodigal son, to demonstrate her genuine surprise and confusion over the turn of events. She wanted to make sure no suspicion was cast towards her, but also that no one suspected the change in Alpha. The masking drug worked as expected, though, and neither Ba’al nor the clones seem to notice that one of their own was now a She’ket.

It had all gone smoothly and Adaar had been every inch Alpha when he arrived, but even her Sekhmet personality couldn’t hold back all the loathing she felt for herself and what she had done to him, was still doing to him.

The only one not happy with Alpha’s restoration was Kappa, unsurprisingly, but Ba’al did not seem to notice the tension between the two clones as he informed Kappa that he would be secondary to Alpha once again. The newest clone would never stand for that and Nes worried Alpha would be dead quickly if she didn’t intercede.

“Ba’al, perhaps Alpha would be better used in other areas. Kappa has done an excellent job of taking over the business side of things. It might be wise to allow him to continue in that role.”

Adaar bristled at her words and glared at her. “I highly doubt Kappa is capable of performing my duties as well as I am. I set up these businesses. Kappa is merely reaping the rewards of  _ my _ hard work.”

Ba’al smirked at his clones, watching himself in their actions. “You will both resume your previous roles. There will be more than enough work for two of me, especially as we take over more companies.”

Kappa bowed his head in submission, but Nes caught the rage in his eyes.

Ba’al wished to speak to Alpha privately and Nes allowed Kappa to catch her alone once they had left the room.

“You said you had him!” Kappa spat out through clenched teeth as he grabbed her arm.

“I never said anything of the kind!” Her voice was full of indignation and she twisted away from his grip. She had never admitted to anything, Kappa simply making assumptions, and he knew it.

His face changed to docile diplomacy. “Of course, Sekhmet. Forgive my confusion. I only know that you are not one to tolerate actions such as those Alpha took.”

He was again trying to encourage her to get rid of his rival for him. “Which is why I had no wish to see him take your place.” She would be his ally against Alpha if need be.

“Well, I thank you for your words to Ba’al.”

Nes smiled and bowed her head. “Of course, Kappa. You have always shown me kindness.”

“Ba’al’s queen should be loved and respected by all those who serve our lord.”

He was being unabashedly pathetic, the two playing games of words and suggestions and duplicity. Fortunately for Nes, Kappa would never suspect her collusion with Alpha after that little incident with the pitchfork. Really, had Beta been her test subject, the suspicion would have run rampant through the entire clone population. Alpha had been a better choice in the end, if there was such a thing.

Adaar relaxed into being Alpha quickly and easily, but he made sure to avoid her, never giving her a chance to express her annoyance and concern over his insistence of going back to Farrow-Marshall over other options that might provide them with better information.

Of course, he did exactly as Alpha would have done and she couldn’t argue against that.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Episode 9.09 “Prototype”

With the completion of the remodeling at her house and the upcoming gala where she was expected to be on Ba’al’s arm, Nes made a visit to the SGC, wanting to inform them of her soon-to-be public relationship with Emyr Kagan. Ba’al was aware of her attempts to maintain their trust and approved, so she needn’t be secretive about it, especially since the Stargate program had altered their communications to block out the Trust’s monitoring. Ba’al wanted her eyes inside the mountain, even for only a short period of time.

Sam escorted her down to General Landry’s office immediately where she was greeted with extreme suspicion over her restored physical form.

“So you’ve joined with Ba’al again? We saw you at the press conference with him.”

“That’s why I went to the press conference. I knew you’d see me.”

“So what’s he up to besides copying himself?”

“Establishing a business empire, running The Trust...I’m still trying to get deeper to figure it all out. I suspect he has further plans he’s not sharing with me yet.”

“And you’re sure he trusts you?” the general asked skeptically.

“No. I’m never sure about anything with Ba’al, but he hasn’t given me any reason to think he doesn’t trust me.”

Alarms started sounding in the base.

“Unscheduled offworld activation.”

“Colonel, wait here with her.”

General Landry went down the stairs to the observation room and both Nes and Sam went to the window to look down into the Gate Room. Teal’c and Daniel came through the Stargate, Daniel looking very upset and babbling to the confused general until he said something that changed the entire feel of the room.

“What’s going on, Sam?”

“I don’t know. We found a young man in stasis on a planet. He says someone was experimenting on him.”

Sam was needed, so Nes was assigned a couple airmen as guards and made her way to the mess hall for some coffee while she waited to hear what new crisis had occurred. She decided Daniel would be the best resource and made herself comfortable in his office.

“Nes! When did you get here?” He was distracted and agitated, but still managed to give her a smile.

“Just an hour or so ago.”

“You look great. Ba’al must be treating you well.” There was an undertone of disdain, but she ignored it.

“Can’t really complain. What’s going on here? Heard you have a visitor of some kind.”

Daniel took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand. “We thought he was a victim of some kind of experimentation, but...he’s Anubis.”

“I’m sorry?” Her skin went cold. “How can he be Anubis?”

“Well, he’s not Anubis precisely. More like...his son.  **Anubis managed to replicate his pre-ascension DNA using a genetic manipulation device** on the planet we found.  **Then, he combined it with human DNA and was able to rapidly grow** this Khalek guy.”

“Similar to Keffler’s experiments?”

“In idea only, I would bet. Anubis had knowledge from the Ancients that he likely used to create him.”

Nes could feel her breathing speed up. “So now what?”

“Dr. Lam says her **analysis suggests that Khalek is significantly more evolved than we are.** **Much more in line with the human form of the Ancients prior to ascension.** ”

“So he might have powers as well?” She could hear her heart in her ears. “This is bad.”

“I agree.”

“What if he ascends again? We can’t go back to having another Anubis.”

“I know, Nes.”

“You don’t know!” Her terror took over. “You don’t know what he can do! What he did.” Nes closed her eyes and steadied her breathing. “We have to kill him.”

“I’m not disagreeing with you, but the general isn’t ready to take that step yet.”

“I want to see him, this...Khalek.”

“Is that a good idea?”

“I don’t care if it is or isn’t, Daniel. I  _ want _ to see him.”

Dr. Jackson tapped his pen on the table a few times before nodding. “I’m going down right now to speak to him and I wouldn’t mind your input. You can come along, but I expect you to let me do all the talking.”

Nes agreed, though she only partially meant it. How could she make such a promise before even seeing him?

They entered the observation room and took seats, Daniel with a notepad and pen, ready to write down anything helpful, and Nes off to the side and back a bit, less noticeable. Nes took in the man below them, strapped into a metal chair with leads attached to his body as they monitored him, his blonde head hanging forward so she couldn’t see his face.

Daniel activated the comm system. “ **Khalek, can you hear me?** ”

The young man startled slightly and raised his head, trying to swallow and wake up. “ **Yes** .” He slowly opened his eyes and realized he was restrained, his panic obvious.

“ **My name is Daniel Jackson.** ”

Khalek looked all around the room with concern. “ **Why have you restrained me like this? Why is everyone suddenly acting like they fear me?** ”

“ **Look, you can drop the act.** ”

“ **I don't understand. Have you contacted my homeworld?** ”

It was so genuine. Even Nes wanted to believe him, comfort him, tell him it was just an awful mistake.

“ **We** **_found_ ** **you on your homeworld. I understand Ancient. Those...research notes Anubis left? We know that you were grown in that lab. That you possess Anubis' DNA** **_and_ ** **his genetic memories.** ”

Khalek lowered his chin, his eyes still locked onto Daniel, and Nes watched the transformation that she knew her own face was so capable of, the shift from innocence and fear to a dangerous and sadistic predator. The goa’uld smirk distorted his face and suddenly he was recognizable to Nes, familiar as the one who had taken her will and soul back on Tartarus.

“ **My memories do include you, Doctor Jackson. The confrontation you once had with my father. I sense it is some time since I was last awake. What has become of him?** ”

Nes felt herself wanting to respond and shifted her body slightly forward.

“ **I'm not here to answer your questions,** ” Daniel said firmly, unwilling to be intimidated by the evil in front of him and reminding Nes of her promise to be silent.

“ **The others. They wish to study me, don't they? Why else would I still be here, given the danger you know I pose? They want to learn what I am. How I came to be. But you…have you ever taken a life, Doctor Jackson?** ”

Daniel didn’t respond, but Nes barely noticed he was in the room anymore, so focused on the man speaking, who now smiled maliciously.

“ **I believe you have…killed a man.** ” Khalek closed his eyes and tilted his head. “ **My memories are so sharp and clear. It's as if they happened only moments ago. The countless lives my father extinguished. Of those that came before him and did the same.** ” He drew in a breath and his voice whispered to them. “ **_Such pleasure_ ** **it gave them.** ”

Nes’ mind flashed back.  _ I will think of you and your death often...and with such pleasure. _

Now his voice began to lament. “ **But I have not experienced it myself yet.** ” Khalek straightened his head as he continued. “ **Does it really feel…”** he opened his eyes with a smile **“...that good?** ”

Nes felt her heart speeding up with his words. She hadn’t killed in such a long time now.

“ **Millions of slaves bowing before me. A galaxy of desperate, pitiful lifeforms at my feet. That's clearly intoxicating. I can almost taste it, as if it was me there and not those whose memories I possess.** ”

His voice was strong and confident and Nes could almost see the words coming out of the previous hosts she’d known Anubis in.

“ **Oh, but nothing,** ” his voice full of desire and seduction and then shifting suddenly into the power she knew he was capable of, “ **nothing do I anticipate more than the sweetness I know I will feel when I kill for the first time. I can hardly wait to watch as fear stops a man's heart. So much more intimate, one-on-one. To watch as the blood flows from his veins and savor his ever-fading hope for life.** ”

It had been too long, far too long and her body’s need was reinvigorated. How had she gone this long?

“ **There's only one way to stop it. I know you wish to take my life, and I promise you, before this is over, one of us** **_will_ ** **feel the pleasure.** ”

Khalek smiled with his threat, but Daniel simply folded up his notebook, glancing over at Nes a few times as she sat enraptured by the beautiful picture he’d painted of the ecstasy of taking a life.

Daniel tapped her on the shoulder as he walked past and she stood, but before turning to leave she couldn’t resist leaning just that bit closer to the glass to draw attention to her presence. Khalek looked up with confusion, but she gave him her own smirk. How she would enjoy killing  _ him _ .

He was unattainable, though. She wasn’t so foolish as to think she could subvert the SGC  _ and _ physically overpower him. He would slaughter her without hesitation, but she still took a moment to enjoy his imprisonment and think of his screams.

If he’d had Anubis’ memories from after her experiences with him, she likely would have taken the risk for even the small chance of revenge, but Khalek looked at her with the recognition of seeing another goa’uld, not of seeing Sekhmet or the things he’d done to her.

Nes put a hand up on the glass and tapped a finger with a smile before letting it drag across the window as she left.

“You need to kill him, Daniel,” she said as she got out into the corridor.

“It doesn’t work that way, Nes. You know that. We have procedures.”

“You and I are the only ones who know him, who know what he’s capable of.”

“But it’s not our decision.”

Nes dropped her voice low and took a step toward him. “It could be. I could do it.”

Daniel was tempted by her offer. She could see him warring with himself. “We can’t, Nes.”

“I’m leaving then.”

“Just like that?”

“I’m not going to sit around here waiting to be killed or even worse, brainwashed again.”

“Nes...we might need your help. You know Anubis.”

“Precisely, which is  _ why _ I’m leaving. I’m not a coward, but I’m not stupid either. You won’t need my help.”

“Fine. Any advice on dealing with him?”

Nes took in a deep breath and blew it out slowly. “Aim for his heart.”

She turned and went down the hall, her steps quick and deliberate as she escaped Anubis and his words. She wanted nothing more than to kill now, to take her time like she had with Alpha, but completing the task with a last breath and the light leaving the eyes.

**_To watch as the blood flows from his veins and savor his ever-fading hope for life._ ** She  _ needed _ it.

If only the other clones didn’t have those damn locator beacons. There had to be a way to disable them. Of course...as long as she finished things before anyone noticed her victim was missing, she could dispose of the body in a way that laid the blame on someone else. Or maybe destroy the beacon altogether.

That meant her best option might be Delta in Seattle.

The prowl began to set in, her walk changing into Sekhmet’s, moving through the SGC and back up to the surface with clear purpose. A small part of her knew she should spare some focus for the situation with Anubis’ experiment, but it was too late. She was already set on her new goal. The SGC would be fine.

They were always fine.

******

Nes beamed herself down to a penthouse apartment in Seattle, one Sekhmet had bought when it was first built in the late eighties. Just a few blocks away from Pike Place Market, Nes had visited there a few times during her year of isolation. Its views of water, mountains, and city were the perfect combination for her, and she was pleased that this was the required location to fill her needs. She went through her usual routine upon arriving at one of her homes and began working through the best way to approach Delta.

Farrow-Marshall had had a bit of chaos with the loss of the Halcyon tower, but fortunately they’d been able to capitalize on the insurance since the cover story had put the blame squarely on others. Construction on a new building had resumed, though under the watchful eyes of Stargate Command, naquadah was not one of the required elements in the process. Nes was sure that wasn’t the end of it, with buildings going up for various Trust-run corporations all the time, but at least Seattle seemed safe for the moment.

Nes wanted to play a bit and she suspected Delta would be up for the games. His need for her might not be quite that of Alpha or Beta, but she highly doubted he’d be able to resist any offers she made. Ba’al wasn’t expecting her back for another day or two at the earliest, so she’d at least have a bit of time before she was missed. She was unsure how frequently Delta checked in, but she likely could persuade him to make some excuses.

Nes changed into a dress far too short to be appropriate and beamed herself into Delta’s penthouse after checking for any signals indicating monitoring. Ba’al had no reason to suspect his clones would ever betray him, though, trusting them far more than he should. The copy wasn’t back from work yet and Nes took the opportunity to wander around. The apartment was masculine and luxurious with stunning views and outdoor spaces as large as the interior itself. She chose a bottle of wine and took a glass of it to the living room to sit on the sofa and wait.

Only two glasses later, she heard the door open along with a pair of voices. She recognized Ba’al’s, of course, assuming it was Delta, but the woman’s voice, low and seductive, set Nes on edge with jealousy. He’d brought a woman home. Well...it wouldn’t be all that difficult to get rid of her.

Nes stood and made sure her steps in her heels were clearly heard across the wood floor as she moved to the door.

“Hello, darling,” her voice was sweet, the sugary tones just barely allowing the dangerous edges to poke through.

Delta looked at her with surprise, but it was his guest who spoke. “Who’s she, Emyr?”

Nes let her eyes take in the curvaceous blonde standing just inside the door, arms crossed, toe tapping in annoyance, and she let herself transform fully into The Butcher. The woman paused in hesitation and fear and then looked to Delta for answers.

“Emyr, who is this?”

Delta gave Nes a smirk. “This is my wife.”

“Soon-to-be wife. Let’s not jump ahead.”

“Why else would you be here, but to...jump ahead?” He gave her a wink and Nes looked forward to the evening all the more.

She shrugged, though. “Perhaps, but it looks like you already have company.”

Delta leaned behind the other woman and pulled the door open. “Thank you for the evening...Julie.”

“Jessica,” she said with disgust.

Delta bowed his head in a feigned apology. “Jessica, of course. You can find your way out, right? Goodnight.” He placed a hand on the small of her back and gently pushed her out into the hall before shutting the door in her face.

“That was rather rude, Delta.”

“Would you rather I invite her back in?”

“If you want to kill her together.”

“I would  _ very _ much prefer other activities with you.” He crossed the foyer to her. “What are you doing here, Sekhmet?”

Nes reached out a hand to his lapel. “I just thought it was about time we had a little meet and greet, a chat.”

“A woman doesn’t show up to a man’s house in a dress like that to talk, my dear.”

She shrugged. “No, I suppose not.”

“What about Ba’al?” He clasped her hand as it lay on his chest.

“Let’s just say, there are certain things that must be withheld from our lord in order to encourage…forward motion.”

“But you’d rather not be deprived yourself.”

“Precisely.”

“Well, I can certainly offer my assistance with that.”

“I was hoping you would say that. He’s not expecting me back for another day or two.”

Delta leaned forward and kissed her neck. “And I checked in this morning. We can take our time it seems.”

Nes didn’t stop Sekhmet’s sadistic smile, Delta already too distracted to notice the noose around his neck. It took very little convincing to get Delta to move himself up the stairs, saving her the effort. He had the perfect spot for the evening upstairs: a very large walk-in shower where she’d simply be able to wash away any evidence before ridding the house of him entirely.

Delta had been serious about taking his time, so she enjoyed his attentions for at least a short while before using the same technique that had incapacitated Alpha as well. How could they all be so foolish?

He woke up with a splash of water to the face, tied to a chair she’d moved into the shower, anger filling him rapidly as he strained to be free.

“What are you doing, Sekhmet?”

“Do I really need to explain? You should be able to extrapolate my plans based on what you know about me, my dear.”

“Fine.  _ Why _ are you doing this?”

“Oh, simply for my own amusement. Like you said, I’d rather not be deprived. Fortunately, Ba’al has provided so very many of you.” She smiled and tapped a small knife against her chin.

“And you don’t think Ba’al will figure it out?”

“I have no plans of anything of you being left for him to investigate.”

Delta flashed his eyes in fury. “Surely we can come to some other kind of arrangement.”

“It’s amusing how often all of you have made that statement. Always thinking you understand my motivations well enough to make various offers for your lives, but I simply want to kill you. I want to enjoy your screams and watch your life fade in front of me.”

He tried to reason with her, but she cut off his objections with his own screams, Khalek’s words playing through her mind. She was significantly more brutal with Delta, knowing she couldn’t keep him for very long like she had with Alpha. Eventually he grew weary, though, and Nes only saw Adaar in front of her, guilt seeping into the satisfaction she was seeking. There was only so long she could push it aside and finally she stroked Delta’s cheek as his eyes struggled to stay open.

“I’m sorry, Adaarbal. I shouldn’t have tortured you with him.”

Delta gave her a confused look, but before he could question her, she slit his throat quickly and waited for the last flash of his eyes.

Damn Adaar.

He was ruining any pleasure she should have gained from the destruction of another clone. She should have just killed Alpha.

Now that Delta was dead, Nes was able dig out the locator beacon, buried deep in his body. With that removed, she beamed back up to her ship and then dumped his body in various sections far out in the Pacific. She cleaned up the shower and locator beacon, and then, after wiping down everything she had touched in the apartment, she placed the beacon on the kitchen island to be found later. Delta would simply be missing and Ba’al would have no way of knowing if his copy were dead or had somehow managed to remove the device to escape his ties to the original.

The last task was the woman who had seen her. She couldn’t have a witness just waiting around to be found by Ba’al and the clones. Nes had been far too recognizable. In the past she would have just killed her, but she couldn’t bring herself to do that this time. Instead she beamed herself into the woman’s apartment (easily located with security cameras and information from the taxi company). Jessica nearly toppled over in surprise and Nes explained to the young woman that she was going to need to disappear for a while if she wanted to live.

With that kind of a choice before her, she was more than willing to go with Nes who set her up in a house in the Greek countryside with orders that if she contacted anyone or attempted to return home, Nes would personally kill her after torturing her in horrific ways. The Butcher still inspired enough fear even though she was technically dead.

As a bit of a warning, Nes took a knife and cut the girl’s arm enough to collect a bit of blood, and then went back to Seattle to trash her apartment and make a convincing case for her being injured or killed during a home invasion.

With any luck, Ba’al and the clones wouldn’t even think to look for the girl, let alone find her.


	4. Chapter 4

Nes checked in with the SGC the next day, her curiosity and concern over Khalek returning now that her need for death had been handled. She was both pleased and intensely relieved to hear he was dead. In his attempts to escape back to the planet they’d found him on, he’d been tricked, and while Cameron had held his attention, Daniel had shot him, following her advice and aiming for his heart. Khalek wasn’t quite as powerful as he had imagined himself.

She was also grateful she would have something to report to Ba’al that was intriguing but worthless. It was never wise to go back empty handed.

Back in Bethesda, Ba’al was glad to see her, and she forced herself to respond with equal enthusiasm over the end of the short separation. She told him about Khalek and Ba’al shared her relief, showing more emotion than he maybe would have in the past. He was becoming more and more human with his time on Earth.

“You’re sure he’s dead?” he asked once more.

“Yes. And he didn’t ascend.”

“Good. And this Khalek...was he the only one?”

“On that planet, yes, but I’m sure Dr. Jackson will be going over all the notes with a fine-toothed comb.”

“And how did you do in his presence, my dear?” He stroked her hair, offering comfort that she wasn’t sure was real.

“I’m afraid I did feel myself swayed towards him, too many memories surfacing with his words, but fortunately he was from before our time with Anubis and did not have any knowledge of what transpired in the rest of the galaxy while he slept.”

“And now?”

“Once he was dead, I felt completely myself again.” She smiled and put her arms up around his neck. “And was  _ very _ much looking forward to returning to you as soon as possible.”

Ba’al leaned down to kiss her and she allowed it, but broke it off with a stifled yawn and excuses that would allow her to return to her own house for the night.

“Get some rest,” he said to her. “I expect you to be perfect for tomorrow evening.”

“Ah, yes, the opening night gala. I will be ready.”

She’d completely forgotten, but it wasn’t really an issue. A quick jaunt to her homes in New York and Paris, and she had an armful of gowns to choose from, all exquisite and many custom made just for her. Her number one priority for the evening was for Ba’al to see what an asset she was to him on his arm. She would be charming and desirable, and there was nothing he loved more than having things that others wanted. Goa’uld were like that in general, especially with each other, but Ba’al was now without competition in that arena beyond his clones. His next options then were the rich and famous and powerful amongst the Tau’ri. At least for the moment.

By the time Ba’al arrived in his black tuxedo with a black shirt and tie, Nes was just finishing up with her jewelry to accent the navy strapless gown that glinted with every movement as the light hit it. Ba’al let out a low whistle of appreciation, such a very human thing to do, and she smiled in thanks, slipping her lion ring onto her right hand.

“You look stunning as usual, Sekhmet.”

“I do, don’t I?” she said with a seductive smile. “You look quite handsome as well.”

She reached out to adjust his tie and noted the tie tack with his personal symbol. She wondered if his cufflinks matched. He let his hands slide around her waist and leaned forward for a kiss, but Nes pressed a finger to his lips.

“You’ll mess up my makeup and I was told to be perfect for the evening.”

He blew out a breath of frustration before releasing her and reaching into his pocket. “I thought this might make a good addition for tonight.” He held out a small box and popped open the lid.

Inside was a beautiful ring with a large diamond surrounded by sapphires, evoking in many ways the Stargates themselves. Sekhmet filled with triumph while Nes recoiled at all of its implications. The goa’uld side of her was stronger in this moment, though, and gave all the proper responses to such a gift.

“I like to claim what is mine,” he said.

“Just so long as you understand that this  _ ownership _ goes both ways. I’ve made it clear before that I will not tolerate anything but faithfulness.”

“Then stop making me wait.”

“We’ll see.” She held out her hand and let him slip the ring on her finger. It felt too heavy to Nes, too much like an iron shackle, but she smiled all the same and gave him a light peck before they headed out.

They drew attention for their newness, but also because they carried themselves with the age and stature and experience of ones who had always been there. This was their first introduction to this social circle and yet, it was already theirs, it already belonged to them. The Goa’uld were made to rule whatever realm they encountered, whatever dominion they desired.

Every other attendee watched them, sought their company, tried to charm them in whatever ways they could through conversation and wit, and the pair utilized their own skills to make everyone feel as though they alone had established a special connection with the strangers.

They eventually moved from the terrace into the grand foyer and Ba’al stopped in front of the large bust that dominated the space.

“Who was he?” he whispered in her ear.

“A former president of this country. The facility is named after him.” She didn’t bother trying to hide anything in her voice.

“Ah. And I take it you knew him.” He gave her a sideways glance. “And did not particularly like him.”

Nes chuckled and smirked. “Let’s just say that my low tolerance for betrayal is not something new. I only wish the means had been different, slower, though there was certainly a good degree of drama in it.”

She turned to Ba’al with a smile that spoke of her pleasure at the memory, as well as an undercurrent of threat to her companion. He held out his arm with his own smile and they made their way to the box he’d reserved for the performance.

“And who did  _ you _ have to kill to get these seats?” she asked as they sat down.

Ba’al gave her a wink, but didn’t confirm or deny anything and she smiled at his coy behavior as he stretched an arm around her. She enjoyed his company far too much in these settings.

The opera selected wasn’t one Nes was particularly fond of. In fact, she had memories of Sekhmet attending its debut and not enjoying much beyond the talent of the singers. The story and drama were significantly lacking. Verdi had won her over in his later productions, but this one - this one was long and felt even longer, though they had cut it significantly for this particular performance.

By the second act, Ba’al was shifting in his chair in annoyance. The goa’uld had likely spent very little of his thousands of years enduring anything that did not entertain him entirely. Had this been his empire, he would have already stood up and ended the show, possibly bringing down executions upon anyone involved and letting it be a warning to any future directors and performers.

His boredom did find some relief in the woman next to him and she was glad they were at least in the back of the box with no one behind them to witness his teasing attentions. She tried to return his focus back to the opera, but he was incorrigible in every sense of the word. By the third act, she was wondering how far he would take things if she were a more willing accomplice.

Ba’al’s phone began to vibrate, though, and after looking at the number calling, he excused himself rapidly to answer it. He returned only a short while later looking grim and pressed his mouth next to her ear.

“Delta is gone,” he whispered.

She turned to him with a look of genuine confusion and mouthed her question silently. “Gone where?”

He grabbed her arm and nodded his head to the back and she leaned down to get her purse before they exited.

“What do you mean ‘gone’?” she asked as the door closed behind them. “He has a locator beacon, doesn’t he?”

“Yes. They found the locator beacon at the Seattle penthouse...but not Delta.”

Nes narrowed her eyes. “I thought you said they couldn’t be removed.”

Ba’al nodded. “That’s what I thought. So either he figured it out or...he’s dead.”

Nes remained silent as if in thought. “Any security footage from the building?”

“Yes. Epsilon said there was a woman, but she was only in the apartment for a few moments before leaving.”

“Well, perhaps they can track her down. She might have some answers.”

He nodded, looking agitated. “Let’s go. I don’t think I can sit through any more of this.”

“That’s alright. With your behavior, they’ll assume we left for other reasons.” She winked to try lightening his mood and he responded with a small laugh.

Once back at the house, Epsilon, after a few moments of his eyes roaming over Nes, reported that they had tracked the young woman. She’d completely disappeared and the police suspected she was dead based on the state of her apartment.

“Well, I’ll hardly believe that was simply a coincidence,” Nes said, crossing her arms, pleased yet again with her deceptions. “So no body was found? Just the locator beacon?”

Epsilon put his hands in his pockets in frustration. “Yes. Wiped clean.”

It was apparent, listening to the rest of the conversation, that they had absolutely nothing to go on to find out what had happened to the clone. Nes inwardly relaxed, confident that she was safe, despite the rather significant risk she’d taken.

Ba’al had planned for the evening to go differently, but she expressed her exhaustion and ventured home. After showering and changing, though, Nes heard her doorbell ring, and when she opened it, a Ba’al was standing in front of her. He raised his wrist to reveal his identity.

“Adaar, what are you doing here?”

“You killed Delta, didn’t you?” he asked as he pushed past her into the foyer.

Nes shut the door and turned with surprise and offense in her body. “What makes you even think that?”

“Don’t act insulted.”

“I’m more confused than insulted.”

Adaar shook his head. “You killed him. I know you did. Do not play games with me,  _ Nesert _ .”

Nes dropped the act and crossed her arms. “Fine. Yes, I killed him.”

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Did you torture him?”

She turned to walk down the hall. “Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to, Adaar.” She headed into the kitchen for a drink and Adaar followed, yelling at her as he went.

“Even knowing it was me...another Adaarbal, that he could feel it.”

“Well, if it makes you feel better, I did start to only see you and feel guilty. I killed him quickly after that.”

“Why, though? Why Delta?”

“He was the easiest target and I...I needed it.” She pulled a beer from the fridge, offering it to Adaar who waved it off, and then opened it for herself.

“And the girl?”

Nes just shrugged. “Witnesses and what not. You understand.”

Adaar’s face filled with disgust. “You’re repulsive.”

She swallowed hard, surprised by the hurt she felt at his assertion. “I’m well aware, thank you, but she’s perfectly safe. She’ll just be missing for a while.” She watched Adaar’s face soften slightly. “Are you done?”

“No. I thought you’d want to know that I saw some documents that suggest The Trust has infiltrated Atlantis, even been there a time or two.”

“Been there? And are they planning anything beyond monitoring?”

“I think so. Everything seems a bit too focused and precise, like they’re preparing for something. I couldn’t dig any deeper without suspicion from Kappa and Theta, though.”

“They’re working together?”

“It looks that way. I suspect Iota is part of it, too. They were all in the same...batch.”

“And where is Iota?”

“Offworld mission of some kind.”

“Does Ba’al intentionally keep you all in the dark?”

“If I were him...and I am...I wouldn’t want to encourage too much collaboration between my clones. That’s why Kappa, Theta, and Iota are so dangerous.”

Nes had to agree with that logic. “And you have no idea who their spy in Atlantis is?”

“No. Could be a human. Could be a goa’uld.”

“And does Ba’al know about their plans?”

“I broached the topic with him and I get the feeling he knows only about the monitoring.”

“Perhaps I can convince him to let me go to Atlantis, a scouting mission of sorts, see what I can figure out.”

“You really think he’d let you go? He didn’t even like you gone for those few days.”

“I have been noticing that he likes to keep a closer eye on me these days.” She took another drink. “Well, if he won’t  _ let  _ me go...I’ll go anyway.”

“Cut ties with Ba’al...over just a possible chance that Kappa and Theta are planning something? He’ll kill you for that kind of betrayal.”

“I’m sorry? You’re critical when I kill people and then you’re critical when I want to save people.”

Adaar rubbed his eyes. “Fine. Talk to him tomorrow then.” He looked up at her. “ _ Now _ I’m done. Goodnight.”

Adaar began to leave, but paused for a few breaths before turning back to the kitchen and approaching her. Nes couldn’t see any traces of Alpha in his face, but he leaned down and kissed her slowly and gently in a way that Ba’al never had. Just as Nes began to respond, though, he ended the kiss rather abruptly.

“Be careful, Nes.”

And with that he walked out and Nes heard the door open and slam forcefully.

What was that? He hated her. He  _ had _ hated her.

She groaned with too many thoughts swimming in her head. Adaar, Kappa, Theta, Ba’al, Atlantis...Elliot.

If she went to Atlantis, she’d see Elliot.

She needed something stronger than a beer.

******

Nes decided to approach the logistics first. She needed to find out the schedule for the Daedalus to determine her strategy, and Sam was not only her best resource for all of that information, but could also help get her onboard.

“Nes!” Sam yelled in surprise. “Could you at least give me some warning?”

“What kind of a warning? A phone call on an unsecured line?”

Sam sighed and waved her hand. “Fine. What’s going on?”

“The Trust...we think they may have a spy in Atlantis.”

“We?”

“I’m good at making friends.”

Sam raised her eyebrows. “Atlantis, though? How would they get someone there?”

“Depends. If it’s a human, money, blackmail, but it’s always possible someone’s been implanted with a symbiote.”

Sam leaned against the counter. “What do they want?”

“I’m not sure, but it looks like they’re planning something. When’s the next trip out there, Sam?”

“They got back a few weeks ago, leaving in five days again.”

Nes shifted and put her hands in her back pockets. “Can you get me onboard?”

“You? Nes…”

“You know I can blend in. No one will know it’s me and I can try to figure out who the traitor is.”

“I don’t know…”

Nes took a deep breath. “If The Trust is planning anything that hurts the expedition...Elliot is there, Sam.”

“I thought you two didn’t part on the best terms.”

“It was intentional.”

Sam ran her hand through her hair. “You lied to him so he’d go to Atlantis.”

Nes just shrugged. “It seemed like the right thing at the time.”

“And you have no other information on what The Trust is doing?”

“No...and it doesn’t look like I’ll be able to access that information any time soon. My best bet is boots on the ground, so to speak.”

“I’ll have to tell General Landry.”

“Fine, but that should be as far as it goes. We just have no idea how deep they’ve gotten. I’ll be back in a day or two. I have a few things to wrap up.” She brought her hand up to rub her eyes.

“What’s that?”

Nes opened her eyes and saw Sam’s pointing, remembering with regret that she’d left the ring on her finger. Her body felt heavier as she looked at it.

“Congratulate me on my engagement,” she said with a hollow voice.

“Engaged? Ba’al?”

“Technically Emyr Kagan, I suppose. Legally speaking.”

“Will you go through with it?”

Nes shrugged. “That’s too many steps ahead to plan out. Too many variables still. I won’t mind the few months away from him, though.”

Sam nodded with a sad look. “I’m sorry, Nes. I’m sorry we’ve done such a poor job of protecting you.”

Nes laughed outright. “We both know I put myself on this path.” She checked her watch for an out. “I need to go. See you soon.”

******

“You want to go to Atlantis?! I thought we agreed your place was by my side.” Ba’al wasn’t taking her request particularly well and he began to pace back and forth.

“Do you already have operatives there?”

“We’re monitoring communications, we’ve gotten our hands on some of the data they’ve sent back, but no, no one’s been placed within their ranks yet.”

“Well, here’s your chance. It will only be a few months. Think of all the things I could learn and bring back. It could be beneficial to us in so many ways.”

He knew all the reasons it would be a good idea. She didn’t need to spell it out for him, but he’d grown more desperate for control, trying to micromanage the world around him. Ever since Anubis had returned and taken his empire from him, he’d started grasping for some resumption of that power, but now, as his clones were captured and killed, he held tighter to Nes, wanting to plan her every step next to his.

“I will return, my dear.” She finally stood and blocked his path. “And we will be more powerful than ever.” She wrapped her arms around his neck. “Let me do this for you, my lord. I’ve already made arrangements for my addition to the next Daedalus trip.”

“When does it leave?”

“Four days.”

He looked up at the ceiling in agitation.

“And it may be best if we keep this between just the two of us in case Stargate Command or the NID are monitoring The Trust or Farrow-Marshall. And I’ll need quite a supply of the masking drug.”

“Of course. Fine.” His body relaxed into reluctant acceptance.

“The time will go quickly.” She slipped the ring he’d given her off her finger and held it out for him. “I will want this back when I return.”

Never one to miss an opportunity to further his own goals, he took the ring and then kissed her ear and whispered, “And will you stay the night with me before you leave?”

Nes chuckled quietly. “I doubt you would let me go at all if I allowed that.”

Ba’al let out a low growl. “You are probably right, but I’m still willing to take the risk.”

“I, however, am not.” She lightly brushed her lips on his. “When I return.”

“And then I won’t let you out of my sight for quite some time. Day...or night.”

He said it as a promise.

Nes took it as a threat.


	5. Chapter 5

Nes visited Sam again, and they hashed out the details of an identity that made her a reasonable addition to the Atlantis Expedition. It was then just a matter of creating the documentation to back it up, difficult on such short notice, but with General Landry on board, they could gloss over any discrepancies and Sam could fill in a few gaps after Nes was on her way.

Nes arrived on board the Odyssey with hair hanging limply on either side of her face, bangs that fell into her eyes, glasses that were too large for her face, a uniform that fit a bit haphazardly, and a duffel bag over her shoulder. She slouched and her walk was timid. Her voice was a bit higher pitched and she had a nervous tick of constantly pushing her glasses up on her nose even when they were perfectly positioned. She was the absolute picture of a skittish scientist unsure of what she had signed up for.

“You must be Dr. Mary Wilkins, the last minute addition.” The woman extended her hand and Nes shook it gently. “I’m Dr. Lindsey Novak. Looks like we’ll be roommates for the trip.”

“Hi. This is all a bit overwhelming,” Nes said with a small smile.

“Oh, I know, but you’ll get used to it. I’ll show you our quarters and then I have some things to finish up before we launch.”

“Of course. I’m sorry for the inconvenience.”

“Not at all,” Dr. Novak said as she guided her down corridors until they reached a small room with just enough room for a bunk, dresser, and small desk. “It’s a bit cramped with two people, but it’s only three weeks to Atlantis.”

“I’m so sorry. I’ll try to stay out of your way.”

Dr. Novak waved off her apology. “Get settled in. I can give you a quick tour later.”

Once the woman shut the door, Nes shed her disguise for a few moments, stretching her muscles that rebelled against the foreign mannerisms. She’d grow accustomed to them soon enough, but at the moment they irritated her. She unpacked, carefully keeping certain items hidden amongst clothing and other personal items. She had enough masking drug to last her over a year if needed, tacking onto her bio a rather rare genetic disease that required injections of vitamin B12 every month.

She kept an eye on those around her, watching for anything suspicious, but everyone seemed comfortable in their roles and ranks and there was nothing that necessitated further investigation. Hopefully, she’d have better luck once at Atlantis.

The three weeks went by slowly for Nes. She was agitated by the confined spaces, Mary’s mannerisms and the ship both prisons for her. She was jealous of the military personnel who could spend their off time in the gym sparring and exercising. She just tried to breathe slowly, counting down the days until they were at their destination.

They arrived with little fanfare, but excited greetings - the expedition was always glad to receive new supplies and requested items. It was Christmas every few months for the isolated humans. Nes was beamed down with the rest of the new additions and was in awe of the room she now stood inside.

It was light filled and clearly of Ancient design, the gate to her left and stairs leading up to the work areas on her right. Her nerves began to kick in, worried about seeing people who knew her and might then see through the facade. She stayed with the group she was with, shuffled along to quarters and then given a brief tour. They gave them the rest of the day to get situated, with orders to report to their various jobs the following morning. So far, she’d only caught a glimpse of Dr. Weir and Colonel Sheppard from a distance and managed to keep her head down as they passed by with greetings for the incoming recruits.

Nes was glad to collapse on the bed in her private room, breathing in the extended space. Tonight, she was determined to go for a run and let her muscles return to themselves if only for an hour or two. Once the base was mostly quiet, down to just a skeleton crew for the night hours, Nes threw on sneakers and followed the map in her head to more isolated sections of the city. Hopefully no one would make a fuss about a lone life sign out this direction.

It felt good to get her heart pumping again and as she went on, her legs stretched out to their full length, her speed increasing and Mary disappearing into Nes as she went. Finally, she slowed, realizing she’d gone much further than she’d meant to, and not being entirely sure where she had ended up. She took a few moments to look out some windows and get her bearings before returning to the center of the city at a light jog and letting Mary come back to the surface as the risk of encountering other personnel increased. She made it back to her room without seeing another soul, though, and after a shower, she fell into her bed, sleeping better than she had the full three weeks of travel.

Nes was joining the Astrophysics department and while she knew she had the knowledge to contribute, she still found herself worrying about how things would go. They started her off with simple tasks, though, and she found the quiet and nervous mannerisms of Mary made her virtually invisible as everyone else went about their work.

She had planned to avoid public spaces as often as possible, but unfortunately, there wasn’t much of a choice for meals, and she accompanied a few of the other scientists for lunch, keeping her eyes peeled for one face in particular, unsure if she wanted to see it or not. It was another two days before she walked into the mess hall and saw Elliot sitting with Colonel Sheppard and a few others. He looked good. He looked happy and relaxed and she had to get away.

Nes grabbed an apple and then excused herself from those she had joined and barely kept her steps at a slow enough pace to not be seen as fleeing. Her quarters allowed her to rid herself of Mary long enough for Nes to choke down all the emotions that had risen up. She was disgusted with herself in all aspects, what she’d done, who she’d become, how she was acting now. Only Sekhmet could finally calm her down, but she would need a release beyond simple running from now on.

That night, instead of heading to the outskirts of Atlantis, Nes made her way over to the gym, which was empty of people, but contained various items for sparring. Without an opponent, it wouldn’t be nearly as enjoyable, but with a set of fighting sticks, she could at least exert her body to some degree, going through the various techniques Sekhmet had acquired over the years either with hosts’ prior knowledge or learning herself. Nes had done so little fighting in recent years, but her body remembered its training quickly and within a few nights, she was more annoyed than relieved by her solitude. It wasn’t surprising, then, that when the doors of the gym slid open one night, she didn’t cower back into Mary, but stayed herself, scrutinizing the tall muscular man who stood watching her, long dreadlocks pulled back away from his face.

“Who are you?” she asked in annoyance. She’d seen him around and heard a few of the women comment on him, but hadn’t inquired beyond that. He was native to this galaxy and so no suspicion had prompted any curiosity.

“Ronan. You must be new.” His voice was low and Nes, her adrenaline pumping, had to fight down thoughts of killing him.

“Yes.”

“Need a partner?” He walked over to the side of the room and picked up another set of fighting sticks.

Nes smirked. He had no idea who she was. The freedom was intoxicating. “Absolutely.”

He started out slow, barely using any effort or strength, treating her as a child, but she got in a few good hits quickly to elevate his level of fighting. He was strong and skilled and she had to increase her focus significantly to keep up with him, but the challenge was invigorating to someone who usually overcame her opponents with such ease.

He would be so much fun to kill.

She became distracted by trying to keep her eyes from flashing and Ronan got a hit to her face that resulted in a rather large gash. He paused as the blood dripped down onto her clothes at a rapid rate.

“I’m sorry.” He grabbed a towel from a bench and pressed it to her face, though she quickly took over applying pressure.

Nes laughed hard at the pain. “Worth it. I haven’t sparred like that in too long.”

“You’re good.” He narrowed his eyes. “And strong...especially for a woman.”

Nes winked and tossed the fighting sticks off to the side. “I think I better call it a night. Thanks again.”

“You should go to the infirmary. I’ll walk you.”

“I’ll be fine. Goodnight. Oh, and...maybe keep this just between us?” She waited for him to nod and then Nes took off at a light jog, hoping Ronan wouldn’t follow her. That was foolish of her, but hopefully he’d never be able to figure out who she was.

Back in her quarters, she got out her goa’uld healing device and fixed the cut on her cheek, doing a few passes to erase any trace of it. That, combined with the previous physical exertion, meant she barely got up in time for work in the morning, fueling her day with coffee and yawns, but feeling more relaxed than she had since seeing Elliot.

At dinner, Nes saw Ronan enter, scanning the room, his eyes landing on every woman, even herself, but no recognition passed his face and he finally sat down in frustration. Colonel Sheppard came in later with Elliot and Nes held her breath, trying to watch them without being noticeable. The women at her table were more keen observers, though, and soon the group was passing around giggles regarding the three men.

“I know Colonel Sheppard, but who are the other two?” Nes finally asked innocently.

One of the other astrophysicists leaned forward to speak in lower tones. “Well, the tall one with dreadlocks is Ronan Dex. They ran across him a few months back when he was a Runner.”

“What’s a Runner?”

“He was tagged by the Wraith and then chased for sport. Dr. Beckett was able to remove the tracker, but since his planet was pretty much destroyed in a war with the Wraith, he joined us here.”

“How awful. And the other one?”

“Captain Kevin Elliot.”

A blonde woman that Nes was pretty sure worked with plants smiled with a blush. “Isn’t he adorable? He’s such a good guy.”

Yet another woman chimed in with crossed arms. “Yeah, but he doesn’t even look at anyone here. I think he must have someone back home.”

Nes felt her chest fill with something that might be hope.

The astrophysicist motioned for everyone to lean toward her. “I heard he was involved with Tessa James for a while.”

“Wait, The Butcher? Isn’t she dead?”

“No, that’s the thing. Rumor is that she was actually a goa’uld and they freed her.”

“So where is she now?”

“No idea. I heard someone say she was nearly killed by some jaffa a few months back.”

“By jaffa? Why would they want to kill her?”

The storyteller shrugged. “Hard to say. Not sure she’s that great of a person, even goa’uld-free.”

Nes had to agree with her on that, however much it pained her to hear the truth.

“Well, I can understand how someone like Tessa James would make you hesitant to want a relationship again. What was he even doing with her, though? I can’t imagine him wanting a monster like that.”

Everyone shrugged, including Nes, though she began to have a tiny thought that maybe he still cared about her, though it wasn’t likely to do her much good with her plans to return to Ba’al after this little trip.

She didn’t go to the gym that night, not trusting herself to leave Ronan alive during any sparring, but the following night, need overcame good sense, and she found Ronan practicing his own moves in a rather lackluster manner. His face lit up at her appearance, though.

“I was hoping you’d show up. Thought maybe you were upset with me when you didn’t come last night.”

“No. Just didn’t come.”

“You up for more then?” He grinned, but then the smile faded. “Your face…”

“It wasn’t as bad once I got it cleaned up.” Nes grabbed a set of sticks and immediately launched herself at him, hoping he’d drop the topic of the injury.

It worked, her attack requiring his entire focus, and they did very little talking from that point forward, though Nes was careful to keep him unwounded, not wanting the questions that would go along with him requiring a trip to the infirmary. She could tell he was holding back as well, some of which was probably concern over hurting her, but she suspected the majority of it was that his skills were much more geared towards killing rather than subduing. She, on the other hand, rarely killed in such a manner. In a fight to the death, she guessed he would win rather easily.

Again, as they continued, her Sekhmet side wanted dominance and she had to fight back both those tendencies as well as the man in front of her. Eventually, he knocked the sticks from her grip and got a hand around her throat to slam her to the ground. The impact knocked the wind out of her and the goa’uld personality used her distraction to come to the surface with a smirk of pleasure. All Nes could do was force her eyes shut as they flashed and then work to regain control.

“Are you okay?” Ronan’s voice was full of concern as he released her.

Nes took a few more deep breaths before opening her eyes again and giving him a small smile. “Yes, fine. Just lost my breath.”

“You’re sure you’re okay?”

“Absolutely. Though I do think I’ll head to bed now.” Ronan stood and then offered her a hand, which she accepted, and he pulled her to her feet.

He didn’t release her hand as she tried to pull away. “I don’t know your name.”

“No, you don’t.” She held his gaze, but was quiet for several moments. “Goodnight, Ronan.”

She pulled her hand away more forcefully and gave him a small wave before walking towards the door.

“Tomorrow night?” he asked hopefully.

“No. Maybe the night after that.”

Her days and nights fell more into a routine: go to work, eat meals, sneak around trying to find where The Trust had been messing, and every other night sparring with Ronan. She saw Elliot rather frequently now, but he never noticed her and she had become capable of ignoring the way it cut her every time his eyes moved right past her.

“How come I’ve never seen you around?” Ronan asked when she arrived one night.

“No? Hmm...I don’t know.”

“You do work here, right?”

Nes smirked. ‘Yes.”

“Where?”

“Didn’t we just agree on here? Atlantis?”

“No, I mean, where in Atlantis?”

“Oh, here and there...around.”

“And you’re still not gonna tell me your name?”

“I’m not sure why you need it.”

“You know my name.”

“Yes, I suppose I do.”

That night they opted for sparring with just a single staff each instead of pairs of fighting sticks and the change was enough to force conversation to cease. This time, Nes was triumphant, though she wondered how deserved the victory was with Ronan smiling as she crouched over him, a knee on his chest and the staff to his throat.

He took advantage of her annoyance, though, and managed to flip her over onto her back, his forearm pressed against her neck, preventing any movement.

“You’re toying with me,” she choked out. “Don’t start games you can’t win.”

“I think I just proved I would win.”

Nes smiled coyly. “I suppose you did.”

She moved her hands up his chest and he shifted his arm off her to lean down, but a quick knee to the gut had him roll onto his side in pain and she was again on top of him, this time with one of her knives appearing, the tip pressed underneath his chin.

She put her mouth down by his ear and spoke in a low voice. “A woman will always be better at those games.” Nes stood abruptly, the knife again gone from her hands, and she grabbed a towel. “Goodnight, Ronan.”

He was still sprawled out on the mat when she left.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stargate Atlantis Episode 2.13 “Critical Mass”

The next day at lunch, she found herself sitting at a table with her back to Ronan, Sheppard, Elliot, and a woman named Teyla, who was also native to the Pegasus galaxy.

“And you’ve been sparring with her every other night?” Sheppard asked quietly.

“Yeah, but I don’t know her name.”

“And you say that she is good enough at fighting to challenge  _ you _ ?” Teyla’s voice was filled with doubt.

“She’s strong. Much stronger than other women...men, too.”

“What’s she look like?” Elliot sounded suspicious and Nes held her breath, realizing how careless she’d been.

“Uh, tall, dark hair, dark eyes...I don’t know.”

“And you haven’t seen her around the base otherwise?” Elliot knew. He had to know.

“No. And I’ve looked.”

“Colonel, mind if I look into this? Make sure we don’t have an intruder of some kind?”

“Yeah...might be best.”

“I don’t think she’s dangerous,” Ronan commented.

“Ronan, if she can keep up with you even a little, she’s dangerous.”

Nes worked to slow her heart back down. Shit. She still hadn’t made any progress with figuring out what The Trust was up to and without that, it certainly looked suspicious for her to be hiding out here. Elliot would find her quickly once he started looking at the newcomers. Her disguise could only change so much and face to face with him, she didn’t think she’d be able to keep up the facade.

Nes went to the lab as usual, but her muscles were tense as she waited to be discovered. By midmorning, though, word was spreading fast of a transmission Atlantis had received saying a bomb had placed in the city.

By The Trust.

Nes headed straight to the control tower, ignoring her colleagues’ questions, but remaining Mary as she made her way to Dr. Weir’s office where she could see her behind her desk speaking to Ronan, Colonel Sheppard, and a man Nes remembered meeting as host to Sekhmet, Dr. Rodney McKay. He’d been particularly keen to show off his intelligence in those days and Sekhmet had been able to glean quite a bit of information from him.

Nes approached slowly, drawing close enough to listen in, but not be noticed quite yet.

Sheppard leaned over slightly to address Rodney. “ **Ask them if they can give us a little more than just ‘there's a bomb in Atlantis.** ’"

“ **Maybe The Trust thinks this is the only way to make sure the Wraith don't get there,** ” said Dr. Weir.

Rodney looked up at her. “ **Well, it's drastic but effective.** ”

Dr. Weir looked at all three as she spoke. “ **What's worse is the Trust operative who planted the bomb probably did so under orders from the Goa'uld.** ”

“ **What?!** ” Rodney clearly hadn’t heard that news.

“ **When did the Goa'uld get involved in this?** ” Sheppard was in the dark, too, apparently.

“ **Several months ago. They successfully infiltrated the upper leadership of The Trust, gaining a stronghold on Earth, accessing government agencies from many countries.** ”

Ronan was leaning against the wall, but stepped forward. “ **What's a Goa'uld?** ”

“ **It's a slimy, snake-like alien creature...burrows into people's heads and takes control of their bodies,** ” Sheppard stated very matter-of-factly, but Nes still cringed at the description. There was really no way to make it sound any nicer.

“ **That doesn't sound pleasant,** ” Ronan replied.

“ **It isn't. I've read enough SG mission reports to know I don't want anything to do with them.** ” Sheppard’s voice didn’t hold back any of the disgust he felt. This should probably be her cue to enter.

Nes moved forward, still Mary, and knocked gently on the doorway. “Excuse me, Dr. Weir?”

“Doctor…”

“Wilkins, ma’am.”

“Dr. Wilkins, this really isn’t a good time.”

“I thought maybe I could help.”

Dr. McKay turned around to look at her. “I highly doubt you have anything to bring to this problem. You’ve barely even been in Atlantis five minutes.”

Dr. Weir stood and tried to soften Rodney’s words. “What Dr. McKay means is that we’ve got this under control, but we’ll be sure to let you know if you’re needed.”

Nes shifted her body then, rolling her head and shoulders to shake off Mary, and reached up to remove her glasses. “Actually, Dr. Weir, I believe my very particular skill set is exactly what you need right now.”

“You!” Ronan exclaimed, but Colonel Sheppard quickly pulled his firearm to point at her as he stood and turned towards her.

“How did you do that?”

“Like I said, Colonel Sheppard, a very particular skill set,” Nes said with a smirk.

Dr. Weir glared at the young woman. “Why are you here? What do you know about the bomb?”

“Nothing, unfortunately, but I thought The Trust was planning something. That’s why I came.”

“And you didn’t think to come to me with a warning.”

Nes shrugged. “Wasn’t sure I could trust you. Colonel Carter and General Landry organized everything and we all agreed to not tell anyone.”

Dr. McKay raised his eyebrows. “Wait, Colonel Carter knew about this and she didn’t tell me?”

“Not sure why she would tell you, Rodney.” Nes enjoyed his confusion at her familiarity, but he likely didn’t remember ever meeting her.

“Well...because! I shouldn’t be left in the dark on these kinds of things!”

“Well...I’m telling you now.”

“Wait, who are you?” Ronan finally jumped in to voice the question that no one thought to address because her face was too well known in too many arenas.

“Tessa James.”

“Now, Dr. Weir, we’ve been over this before. I don’t go by that name anymore.” She turned to Ronan with an outstretched hand. “Nesert Saeda. Most people call me Nes.”

“Most people call you The Butcher,” Rodney said under his breath.

Ronan took her hand, but tilted his head at McKay’s comment. “The Butcher?”

“She’s got a nasty habit of killing people and then chopping them up,” Sheppard said.

Nes leaned closer to Ronan. “Just not always in that order,” she said with a wink.

Dr. Weir crossed her arms. “The last time we saw you, it was unclear if you would ever walk again.”

Nes smiled. “Oh, friends in high places and all that.”

“You went back to Ba’al.”

“Actually he came to me and I’m afraid I just couldn’t refuse the offer of his sarcophagus in my prior state. Not that he would have let me refuse.”

“Who’s Ball?” Ronan had just a hint of jealousy in his voice which amused Nes.

“Lord Ba’al, last of the System Lords of the Goa’uld. Good dresser, better kisser, sadistic as hell.”

“Wait, you’re with Ba’al? I thought you were free now or something.” McKay waved his hand and Nes smiled at how very much the same he still was.

“It’s an on again, off again thing. Someone’s gotta keep an eye on him.”

“So the Goa’uld really have taken over The Trust,” McKay commented.

“Oh yeah, well over a year ago.”

“So why would they want to blow up Atlantis?” Dr. Weir didn’t hide her confusion at these developments.

Nes crossed her arms. “Ba’al certainly doesn’t want to risk the Wraith getting to our galaxy.” She leaned over to Ronan. “He’s not fond of competition for galactic domination.” She thought for a moment. “There’s something else, though. Ba’al knows I’m here. He wouldn’t kill me.”

“You sure about that?” Sheppard still had his gun trained on her.

“I’ll clarify: he wouldn’t kill me  _ like this _ .”

Ronan folded his arms. “How  _ would  _ he kill you?”

“The same way he’s done it in the past: personally and repeatedly.”

“You mean he’s  _ almost _ killed you,” Ronan said.

“No. The Goa’uld can revive the recently dead.”

“He’s really killed you before?”

“Hence the on again, off again nature of our relationship. Don’t worry, though. I’ve killed him a few times, too.” She moved her hands to her hips. “Can we get back to the issue at hand? You’ve got a spy, but I haven’t been able to find anyone that seems suspicious to me. And that’s saying something.”

Dr. Weir looked her over for a few moments before telling Sheppard to lower his weapon. “I **want you to organise some teams to do a search of the city. Start with obvious sabotage points: power distribution centers…** ”

“ **I'll check primary and secondary systems for any anomalous energy readings that might indicate the presence of an explosive device,** ” McKay offered.

“ **And get Cadman to assist you. She's a bomb expert,** ” Sheppard added casually.

“ **She is?!** ”

“ **She's one of the best. She'll be a big help.** ”

Nes had to wonder who this Cadman was and why Rodney disliked her so much.

“ **Good,** ” Weir continued. “ **Ask Colonel Caldwell to return to Atlantis to assist with the investigation.** ”

“ **Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa!** ” McKay held up a hand as he objected. “ **If the Daedalus returns here, then you're effectively cutting off our communication with Earth.** ”

“ **Yes, I understand that, but if the person who planted the bomb is on board, we're gonna need to question them here - have them reveal the location of the bomb and how to dismantle it. Alright, let's get moving.** ” She looked up at Nes. “Nes, I’d like to speak with you further.”

“Of course.” She stood off to the side to let the others exit. Rodney with fear, Sheppard with suspicion, and Ronan with a bit of a smirk.

Dr. Weir motioned for her to sit. “How can I  _ possibly _ trust you, Nes?”

“Colonel Carter figured I’d run into this issue so she did record a video letting you know that I’m not lying about her and General Landry assisting me.” She reached into her pocket and handed over a USB stick.

“Any thoughts on how we might find the spy?”

“If it’s a human, maybe they’d be here, but if it’s a goa’uld, they’d definitely be on the Daedalus. They’re not much into self sacrifice.”

Dr. Weir sighed and rubbed her temples. “Okay. I’ll start going over the passenger manifest.” She looked up at Nes with concern. “Does Captain Elliot know you’re here?”

Nes shifted in her chair. “No, but I can at least tell you he’s clear. He’s not a goa’uld.”

“How can you tell?”

“I can still sense the leftover naquadah in his blood as a former host. The masking drug would conceal that completely.”

“I take it you’re using it then, to hide from him.”

“Yes, as well as whatever potential goa’uld has infiltrated your ranks.”

“Wouldn’t they know you’re here? You said Ba’al knows you’re here.”

“Ba’al knows, but it’s more complicated than that.” She sighed in frustration, trying to figure out how to sum it up quickly. “Ba’al’s created quite a few clones of himself and….they’re not quite as trustworthy as he believes. I think one in particular is running this operation.”

“I did read that there was suspicion of cloning.”

“You can imagine how any copies with Ba’al’s memories and personalities might not always want to submit to the original.”

Dr. Weir nodded in understanding. “So now we have multiple Ba’als running around.”

“Yeah…and it’s not nearly as fun as you would think.”

Dr. Weir raised her eyebrows, but ignored Nes’ snark. “Why don’t you help Rodney, if he’ll let you. He’s disconnecting the ZPM first, though.”

Nes nodded and stood. “I am sorry I didn’t tell you I was here, but I just didn’t think I could risk it.”

Dr. Weir nodded and Nes turned to leave. “And you should let Captain Elliot know you’re here before he finds out from someone else, Nes.”

Nes paused her steps for a moment, but then just walked on again, unable to deal with that situation right now.

It didn’t take long for Dr. McKay to come back, but he was less than pleased with her offer of help.

“No offense, but even as a goa’uld, you still haven’t been here long enough to do anything more than get in my way.”

Nes took a few deep breaths, but before she could object to his assertions, a woman showed up with a laptop and very deep concern on her face as she saw Nes.

“Aren’t you…?”

“Yes. You can call me Nes, though.”

“Lt Laura Cadman.”

“Ah, you’re Cadman.”

“Yes…”

Rodney looked up, clearly even more uncomfortable around this lieutenant than around Nes herself.

“So what’s up with you two? Drunken one night stand?”

“No! With her? No no no no no.”

Cadman tilted her head to talk to Nes while still looking at Rodney. “There was an accident once that led to both of our minds sharing his body for a while.”

Rodney glared at her and then looked to Nes. “ _ You _ of all people should know how horrendous it is to share your body like that.”

“Yeah....you’re right. You two sharing is almost identical to my years of being controlled and suppressed by an alien homicidal maniac. You have my sympathy, Rodney.”

Rodney blew air out of his nose and mouth in contempt. “You have no idea how hard it was for someone as brilliant as me to be crowded in my own mind.”

“Still just the same, aren’t you, Rodney?”

“And how would  _ you _ know? We’ve never even met.”

Nes smiled at him with complete innocence. “No? Hmm…”

Rodney looked up at her with concern, but then shook his head. “Could I please just work? I’m trying to keep us all from dying.”

Cadman sat down next to him and opened her laptop and Nes offered to get them both some coffee, wanting an excuse to tap into the systems without them looking over her shoulder.

Rodney looked at her with thanks. “Ooo, yes, and maybe some pastries of some kind. And a cookie. Two cookies. And something for Cadman, I guess.” His face shifted to fear. “Wait, you’re not going to poison me, are you?”

“I never poison people, Rodney.” His body relaxed. “Drug them, yes, but poison? Never.” She waved lightheartedly. “Be back in a bit. “

Nes shifted herself back into Mary as she walked from the control tower and within a dozen steps was fully disguised again. Instead of heading to the Mess Hall, she first took a detour to her own desk in the Astrophysics lab to see what she could track down. She’d already been over some of this, but now that she had the information that a bomb was planted, hopefully she could narrow things down a bit.

Twenty minutes later, she had nothing new and was sure she was bound to be missed soon. She jogged over to the Mess Hall for the promised food and drinks, and headed back to the control tower.

She arrived just in time for everyone to look at her with strong suspicion.

“What did you do?” Rodney asked as she slowed to a halt.

“I got coffee.” She held up the items in her hands.

“No. I mean, you dialed the DHD remotely and then activated a distress beacon alerting two Wraith cruisers who are now headed straight for us.”

“I didn’t do that.”

“And I suppose it takes someone over a half hour to get coffee and pastries.”

“And cookies.”

Dr. Weir stepped forward. “Nes, did you do this?”

“I knew the ZPM was disconnected and why would I want the Wraith to come here? If you know  _ anything _ about me, it’s that I’m a survivor.”

“In my office. Now.”

Nes set down the tray and bag she was carrying and followed the woman down the walkway, who waited until Nes had entered before closing the door behind her.

“Tell me again why I should believe you.”

Nes sucked in a deep breath and blew it out slowly before locking eyes with Dr. Weir as she sat down at her desk. “Because I risked my life to save Captain Elliot and I wouldn’t throw it all away now to watch him die in an explosion.”

Dr. Weir placed both arms on the table and leaned forward. “He’s why you came.”

Nes looked down at the floor, but nodded. “He’s part of why, yes.”

They were both silent for a long time before Dr. Weir stood again. “Fine, but I want you in your quarters  _ without _ a computer until I have something for you to help with.”

Nes sighed. “That’s not a good idea.”

“The others are never going to trust you, Nes. And if they’re focused on you, then they’re not going to look for any other possible options.”

She couldn’t deny the woman’s logic. There was a reason she was given this command. “Alright, but don’t forget the skills and knowledge I can bring to this.”

Dr. Weir nodded before tapping her headset to have Colonel Sheppard send two airmen to escort her back to her rooms. The men looked over her with surprise and curiosity, but didn’t speak, which Nes was glad for.

Back in her room, she went over her memories from her time on the Daedalus trying to narrow down any suspects, but beyond some agitation and hostility which you would expect on a three week journey, there was nothing else that stood out to her.

She moved to pacing the room and wished she’d at least requested being confined to the gym, but she doubted Weir would have allowed that. She hated not knowing what was going on!

The door chimed and Nes walked to the control panel in agitation, swiping her hand downward across the light.

“Kevin!”

“Hi, Nes.” He looked past her into the room. “Mind if I come in?”

His voice was so calm and steady and it cut her how detached he seemed.

“Of course.” She stepped to the side so he could pass and the door shut automatically behind him.

“I knew it was you the second Ronan started describing his midnight sparring partner.”

“I know. I could tell from your voice that you knew. Or suspected at least.” Nes crossed her arms and stared at the floor.

“You heard that conversation?”

“I was one table over.”

Elliot sighed and rubbed his eyes. “Please tell me you have nothing to do with all of this.”

She looked up so he could see her eyes. “I have nothing to do with this, Kevin. I promise.”

“Then why are you here, Nes? Why did you come?”

“We saw some documents that suggested The Trust was planning something, but we couldn’t figure out what without raising too much suspicion.”

“Who’s ‘we’?”

“A...a colleague. He’s been helping me.”

Elliot nodded and turned away from her. “So...what? You came to help?”

“That was the idea.”

“I thought you were with Ba’al.”

Nes shifted on her feet. “He knows I’m here. Thinks I’m spying for him.”

“But you’re not.”

“No. I mean, I’ll have to give him  _ something _ when I go back, but no...that was just my excuse to come.”

“When you go back. Right. How is Ba’al these days?” He turned to face her again with clear disgust.

“Multiplying.” Kevin’s eyes went wide and immediately darted to her abdomen. “No no no no no. He started cloning himself.”

“Cloning? Now there’s more than one of him?”

She nodded and could feel her face grow old with the exhaustion of it all.

He noticed the change and took a step toward her. “Nes…”

The door chimed again and Nes’ shoulders sagged, but she eventually swiped the control reluctantly.

“Dr. Weir just asked us to bring you to the control room,” said one of the airmen and Nes nodded.

Elliot always made her into Nes, but she needed to be Sekhmet right now to be helpful. She rolled her shoulders to transform again and gave Elliot a wink.

“Captain, we’ll have to resume our chat later.”

Kevin’s face sank, but he nodded and brushed past her to leave.

Nes arrived at the conference room to find Dr. Weir, Rodney, Sheppard, Ronan, and Colonel Caldwell of the Daedalus. Nes had avoided the ship’s commander as much as possible during the three week journey, which wasn’t difficult since she was a civilian scientist and he was busy leading the crew. He glared at her as she entered, though.

“What’s this?” he said with disgust. “I think I found your spy.”

“Nes was sent by Colonel Carter and General Landry because there was already suspicion of a spy from The Trust.”

“She probably just told them those things to get herself here.”

“I trust the general, Colonel,” Dr. Weir said authoritatively.

Caldwell shrugged, but continued to look at Nes with a sneer as he sat down on the table.

“So what have I missed?” Nes moved further into the room.

“Well, it turns out there’s not an actual explosive device,” McKay said. “Our Trust operative figured out a way to rewrite Atlantis' operating system and disable the ZedPM failsafes, but mask it in such a way that the city sensors didn't detect it.”

“And we would overload the ZPM.” Nes crossed her arms. “Well, that would certainly do the trick of taking out Atlantis.”

“Precisely.  **I'm still working on cracking the new failsafe code but, uh, so far, no luck.** ”

Caldwell stood as he addressed Dr. Weir. “ **How are things coming with Kavanagh? He still your prime suspect?** ”

Nes had to think a bit, but then remembered Dr. Peter Kavanagh, a civilian scientist and an ass if she ever met one.

“ **Yes, he is. I'm having some difficulty with him, though. He's not exactly the most cooperative of people.** ”

“ **Ooh, well, there's a shocker!** ” McKay clearly wasn’t particularly fond of him either.

“ **If he does know the code, I highly doubt he's gonna just give it to us.** ”

Ronan had been sitting on the railing just outside the conference room, but now he stood flipping a knife in his hand as he walked toward the rest of them.

“ **Give me ten minutes with him. I'll get it out of him.** ”

Nes smirked at him and turned to Dr. Weir. “I can do it in five.”

Colonel Sheppard leaned forward. “ **Might not be a bad idea. Maybe it is time to take this interrogation to the next level.** ”

Rodney looked distinctly uncomfortable with the conversation. “ **Look, I hate Kavanagh as much as the next guy, probably even more, but, um, we really need to be sure about this.** ”

Dr. Weir looked around the room. “ **I agree. If there's the slightest chance that he's innocent, then…** ”

Colonel Caldwell cut her off. “ **We don't have time to debate morality. Unfortunately sometimes you have to do unpleasant things to save lives.** ”

That was basically Nes’ life motto, it seemed.

The room was split with distress from the civilians, grim acceptance from the military personnel, and charged excitement from the killers.

Dr. Weir couldn’t bring herself to authorize torture just yet, much to the disappointment of Ronan and Nes, but she didn’t rule it out entirely either.

Everyone left to keep working on their various tasks, but Nes stayed in the conference room with her guards just outside and Ronan looking her over.

“So Sheppard said you used to have one of those...goa...snake aliens in your head.”

“Goa’uld. Yeah. For a little over three years.” She tilted her head and directed questions at him next. “I heard you were a Runner.”

“Yeah. Seven years.”

She nodded. “Sounds fun.”

“Oh yeah, it was great.” He folded his arms across his chest. “So you weren’t kidding about the chopping people up.”

“Unfortunately, no.”

“But that was just when the alien was controlling you.”

Nes smirked. “Unfortunately, no.”

They both looked out the doors at the sound of Rodney berating Cadman about something or other and then walking off.

“McKay, what’s goin’ on?” Ronan hollered to him.

“The Wraith cruisers are close. We need to reconnect the ZedPM to cloak the city.”

“I thought we agreed that a connected ZPM would lead to a rather large boom.” Nes moved to stand next to Ronan.

“Yes...so we’ll just have to be super careful to not overload it now, won’t we?” He took off again and Ronan looked down at her.

“He’s just like that.”

“Oh, I know. We’ve met before. Well...I’ve met him. He hasn’t met me.”

“How does that even make sense?”

“My life can be rather complicated.”

“Apparently.”

Cloaking the city seemed to work. The cruisers didn’t do any of the things you’d expect, had they come upon Atlantis unarmed as they were. Of course, their Trust operative friend was even smarter than they had guessed. Soon the city’s inertial dampeners started up on their own (the city itself was really just one large spaceship) and threatened yet again to overload the ZPM.

Everyone joined the bored pair who had run out of things to say in the conference room and began discussing the next steps.

“ **We need to initiate some evacuation plans,** ” Dr. Weir said as she entered the room.

Sheppard was agitated as he spoke. “ **I told you, the Daedalus is our only option. We can't use the Stargate, we can't go to the mainland.** ”

“ **I agree. We'll fit as many people aboard the ship as we possibly can--** ” Caldwell began, but Rodney interrupted.

“ **There is nowhere near enough room for everyone!** ”

“ **We're gonna have to make room.** ” Sheppard was right. They could certainly squeeze everyone on board.

“ **No no no no no, you don't understand. The life support system can't handle that many people - not enough air to go around. They'd never make it back to Earth.** ”

“ **What about another planet?** ” Sheppard offered. “ **There's one nearby in this solar system, remember? The one we found the crashed Wraith cruiser. That took us fifteen hours by Puddle Jumper. It's a blink of the eye for the Daedalus.** ”

Dr. Weir nodded. “ **And then we could use the Puddle Jumpers to ferry the rest of the people.** ”

“ **The quickest thing to do is get the code.** ” Ronan leaned forward onto the table. “ **Just let me in with Kavanagh. I'll get it from him.** ”

Nes smiled at Dr. Weir’s horror. “And you know I’m more than capable of assisting with that as well.”

“ **ZedPM overload in…** ” Rodney looked at his tablet. “ **...twenty-four minutes.** ”

Dr. Weir looked to Sheppard for a moment before returning her gaze to Ronan and giving him a brief nod. “ **Do it.** ”

Ronan and Nes both smiled and left with Colonel Sheppard for the interrogation room, maybe a bit too light hearted for what they were about to do.

“Which one of you is going to take point?” Sheppard asked as they walked.

“Me.” Ronan and Nes both stopped moving as they answered in unison.

“He’ll be way more scared of me,” Ronan said with a hard look.

Nes looked to Sheppard with a smirk then raised eyebrows back at Ronan. “I’m The Butcher. He can  _ imagine _ what you’ll do. He  _ knows _ what I’ll do.”

Ronan crossed his arms in defiance. “I have more experience.”

“I highly doubt that.” Nes finally put her hands on her hips. “How about we let Kavanagh decide?” Both men looked at her with confusion. “Whoever he chooses is clearly who he fears  _ less _ .”

Ronan smiled. “You’re on.”

They both stood outside the interrogation room and let the doors open to Kavanagh, who quickly moved his feet down off the table and stood in fear as he saw the pair. Ronan looked ready to kill and Nes wore Sekhmet’s smirk with a swing in her hips as they moved into the room.

“You’re supposed to be dead! See? I knew this operation was a mess!” He pointed at Nes as he spoke, but then hastily backed away as she came closer. “What do you two want?”

“We just came to have a little chat, Doctor.” Nes perched herself on the table. “But we thought we’d give you the option of  _ who _ you’d like to talk with.”

Kavanagh’s eyes went big. “You mean Ronan the Barbarian or Tessa the Butcher? Those are my choices?”

“We could both stay if you’d prefer,” Nes said in a silky voice.

“No no no no no no no. I’ll talk with him.”

Nes jumped up to her feet in victory. “Ha!” She pointed at Ronan. “I  _ told _ you he’d be more scared of me!”

“It’s just cause he doesn’t know me very well.” He looked up at Kavanagh. “I’ll change that quickly.”

“I don’t know anything about this. I swear!”

Nes could hear the fear in his voice as his eyes darted around the room for a nonexistent exit. “Mind if I stay and watch?”

Ronan just shrugged and a knife appeared in his hand, twirling between his fingers. Kavanagh also saw the blade, but before Ronan could get within five feet of the doctor, his eyes rolled back into his head and he collapsed to the ground.

Nes leaned over the table to look at him. “Well, that’s hardly fair.”

Colonel Sheppard came bolting into the room suddenly. “ **Stop!** ” He saw Kavanagh on the ground. “ **What did you do to him?** ”

Ronan turned in annoyance. “ **Nothing. He fainted before I could touch him.** ”

“What’s going on?”

“We found the real traitor. Come on.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stargate Atlantis Episode 2.13 “Critical Mass”

Sheppard left the room and Ronan and Nes glanced at each other before jogging after him down the hall to another interrogation room.

Nes looked around the room in suspicion. “So who is it?”

“Now, Hermiod,” Dr. Weir said into her headset, speaking to the Asgard who helped aboard the Daedalus.

Colonel Caldwell suddenly appeared in the room, beamed down from the Daedalus it seemed, looking extremely confused.

“ **What the hell's going on here?** ” he asked as he stood.

“ **I asked Hermiod to beam you here so you could give us the access code.** ” Dr. Weir was barely holding back her anger and Ronan moved behind Caldwell, taking him in.

“ **What?!** ”

“ **Lieutenant Cadman discovered a gap in the system command logs that indicated two deletion points that she--** ”

Caldwell looked back at Ronan with concern. “ **Look, we don't have time for this.** ”

Dr. Weir stepped forward confidently. “ **Your identification code was used to access this city's operating system. You copied it, took it back to The Trust, whose Goa'uld scientists then rewrote the program to overload the ZPM. You then brought it back here and uploaded it into the Atlantis computers.** ”

Nes could see his facade start to fade, his smile filled with desperation more than true disbelief at their accusations. “ **You think that I'm working for The Trust?!** ”

“ **We** **_know_ ** **you're working for The Trust...** ” Colonel Sheppard said as he pulled his gun from the holster and cocked it, still keeping it at his side, “ **...so give us the code.** ”

Colonel Caldwell looked at them for a moment and Nes could see him assessing the situation before he flashed his eyes at them, revealing his true nature. Sheppard raised his weapon then, and while Dr. Weir stepped back, Nes stepped forward with a smirk.

“ **Oh, my God!** ” Dr. Weir’s voice reflected the horror everyone but Nes felt.

Caldwell’s voice shifted into deeper tones. “ **I will never give you that code.** ”

Sheppard looked to Dr. Weir who, after only a moment’s hesitation, left the room to allow the rest of them to do whatever was necessary.

“ **I warn you, as a Goa'uld I now possess the strength of many men.** ”

He must be scared to try that kind of a threat. Nes chuckled quietly off to the side as she watched.

“ **Won't be a fair fight, then.** ” Ronan’s face was dark and filled with rage as he kicked a chair out of the way and grabbed Caldwell to throw him against the wall. He got in a good punch to the face and then tossed him over the table to the center of the room.

“Sheppard, perhaps a different approach would be better,” Nes said calmly, pointing to his taser, as the goa’uld tried to stand.

Sheppard held a hand out to stop Ronan. “ **Hold on.** ”

He fired the weapon at Caldwell and the electricity began to flow through him. One round and his eyes flashed, the symbiote still hanging onto control, but a second round changed his face and body as he tried to catch his breath through the pain.

“ **Colonel?** ” Sheppard asked gently at first, but then added more force to his voice. “ **Colonel.** ”

The man on the ground was clearly in agony as he responded. “ **Sheppard.** ”

“ **We don't have much time. We need that access code.** ”

Caldwell grimaced as he fought for control, but was able to get out the eight digit code to help them before the goa’uld took over his body again. Ronan and Sheppard took off at a run with the code, but Nes hung back to help secure Caldwell, wanting to take the opportunity to have a chat with their guest.

She pulled her ring out of her pocket and was able to scratch both guards before they realized what she was doing. Once they were incapacitated, she dragged them out to the hall quickly and closed the door, approaching the goa’uld as he flashed his eyes at her.

Nes shifted into her deeper voice. “Who sent you?” He kept silent and Nes punched him in the face, drawing blood. “We both know it was not Ba’al. Who sent you?”

He spit a mouthful of blood at her. “Why would I tell you anything?”

“Because your queen commands it. You have betrayed your lord.”

“Ba’al is not my lord and you are not my queen.”

Nes pulled out a knife. “Who sent you? Who planned this?”

The goa’uld smirked at her and Nes rammed the knife into his shoulder. “Who sent you?!” He flashed his eyes again and Nes twisted the knife as she pushed it deeper. “Was it Kappa and Theta?”

He hollered in pain and gritted his teeth. “Not everyone shares Ba’al’s faith in you.”

“And they are willing to destroy an entire city to get rid of me?”

He didn’t respond so Nes pulled the knife out and found a new home for it in his leg.

The goa’uld screamed. “We were already planning this. Your presence rushed us a bit, though.” He smirked at her. “Two birds with one stone.”

Nes backhanded him. “What else are the clones planning?” Again he required extra motivation and released a scream.

“I don’t know!”

Nes didn’t believe him and employed her skills to encourage his cooperation, but the door swung open suddenly. Nes straightened calmly, pulling the knife from his leg and making Caldwell groan, before turning around.

“What are you  _ doing _ ?!” Dr. Weir yelled as she, Colonel Sheppard, Ronan, and Dr. McKay entered in a flurry, taking in the bleeding man tied to the chair.

“I had a few questions for him.” Nes switched back to her human voice.

“He already gave us the code!” Rodney said in disbelief.

“I’m glad it was the right one. Good to not be blown up.”

“And what did you do to my men outside?” Sheppard yelled.

“They’ll be fine.” Nes waved off his concerns. “Just a mild sedative. It’ll wear off soon.”

“I never gave you permission to torture him like this.” Dr. Weir was seething as she glared at the younger woman.

“You didn’t seem too opposed to it earlier.” Nes shrugged. “Besides, a little torture never hurt anyone.”

Rodney held up a finger to interject. “I think that’s the  _ definition _ of torture, actually.”

Nes crossed her arms. “You say ZedPM, I say ZPM.”

“Except one of those is right.”

Dr. Weir held up her hands in frustration. “What did he tell you?”

“Nothing of value.”

Caldwell raised his head. “You shouldn’t trust her. She’s still Sekhmet.”

Nes fought hard to remember that Colonel Caldwell was still in there, but she couldn’t resist plunging the knife into his other leg to pull another scream from the goa’uld.

“Get her out of here and call Carson to tend to our prisoner!” Dr. Weir yelled.

Sheppard grabbed Nes to pull her from the room and she only resisted enough to try grabbing her knife. “Can I at least have my knife back?”

“No!”

“It’s one of my favorites.”

“Then  _ maybe  _ you shouldn’t be so careless with where you put it.”

They made their way through the corridors and Nes knew she should just call it a night, but there was too much pent up energy. She worried that she might seek out another victim without some kind of release.

“Up for some sparring?” she asked, turning to Ronan on her right.

He smiled at her, likely understanding her need in a small way. “Sure.”

“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea.” Sheppard looked over Nes with concern.

“I won’t hurt him, Colonel. Well, I won’t do any permanent damage at least.”

Sheppard shrugged and soon Ronan and Nes were fighting with a small crowd gathering to watch how he fared against The Butcher. The two were bleeding with bruises forming, but with both of them being cheated out of hurting others, they endured pain in their own bodies to meet needs unfulfilled.

Nes began to weary faster, her body not used to such prolonged combat, so when Ronan got a hand on her throat pushing her against the wall, the exhaustion, both mental and physical, snapped her grasp on the present and she flashed back to the morning in the garage with Alpha. There was still a part of her that knew where she was, but she couldn’t get there. She was trapped. Her eyes widened and she could hear a scream pouring out of her mouth, making Ronan release her quickly in a panic. Nes was lost already, scurrying along the floor to get away and folding herself up against the structures on the wall.

Colonel Sheppard approached her, but Nes lashed out. “He killed me!” She shut her eyes trying to escape the memories.

Then a familiar and gentle voice tried to cut through the fog. “Nes...Nes, can you hear me?”

She opened her eyes to see Kevin crouched down and slowly moving toward her.

“Nes...it’s me. You’re okay. He didn’t kill you.”

Didn’t he understand?? Didn’t he see??

“Yes, he did! Alpha killed me! He killed me, Kevin!” She grasped at her chest where she was sure there were puncture wounds. “He stabbed me!”

“There’s no Alpha here, Nes. You’re safe. No one’s stabbed you.” He put his hands on her shoulders and pulled her into his arms, stroking her hair and trying to calm her.

As quickly as she’d fallen into the memories, she was thrust out of them again, her awareness of her true surroundings returning. Flashbacks felt like being a host again, like brainwashing, trapped in her own mind again. She grabbed at the front of Elliot’s jacket and sobs began to shake her body.

Why now? Why had she panicked  _ now _ ?

Kevin slowly got her up to her feet and told the others he was going to walk her back to her room.

“You should take her to the infirmary, Elliot,” Sheppard suggested.

“I will in a bit, Colonel. Just want to get her calmed down first.”

Sheppard nodded and Kevin guided Nes past the gawking crowd, out the doors, and down the various halls to her quarters.

“Do you have a healing device, Nes?”

She nodded.

“Where’s it at?” He was trying hard to hide his frustration, but Nes still cowered at his tone. “I’m sorry, Nes. I just want to help. Where’s the healing device?”

“I hid it.” She stared at him as she tried to remember where she’d put it. “It’s in my closet...no...the bathroom.” Nes walked past him and returned with it in her hand.

“Sit down. I’ll do my best to heal some of your injuries.”

Nes sat on the small couch and Kevin took a seat next to her, turning his body and taking her chin in his hand to turn her face towards him.

“Why did you let him do this to you?” He stiffened his jaw as he examined the cuts and bruises and areas that were rapidly swelling. “Hold still.”

He began using the device and Nes could feel some of the pain begin to subside.

“Who’s Alpha?” he asked, still trying to focus on healing her injuries as well.

“One of Ba’al’s clones. His first.”

“Did he really kill you?”

Nes nodded and then remembered she was supposed to be holding still as Elliot made a sound of frustration. “Sorry. Yes, he did.”

“And Ba’al let him?”

“Ba’al doesn’t know.”

“Why didn’t you tell him?!”

“It’s complicated.”

“Of course, it is.” He sighed. “Fine.  _ Why _ did this Alpha kill you, Nes?”

It was Nes’ turn to sigh. “Because he wanted what he couldn’t have. And when he tried to...in the garage...I screamed for help and so he stabbed me with a pitchfork instead. He had the other clones put me in the sarcophagus.”

“Garage and pitchfork? Was this on Earth?”

“Yeah. Ba’al’s been there for several months now. Lives near DC.”

Elliot was able to heal many of the injuries on her face, but there was far too much damage for him to tackle in one sitting. Not even Nes on a good day had enough energy and focus for that. His frustration was still apparent as he lowered his arm, though.

“I’m sorry, Nes. It was a long day.” He looked over her face, then moved his eyes down to her arms, which didn’t look very good either and released a long breath. “You don’t have a symbiote anymore, Nes. You won’t just heal quickly.” He gritted his teeth. “And  _ Ba’al _ isn’t around with his sarcophagus, either.”

They were both silent for a while, both unsure of what else to say with so much time apart.

“I haven’t slept with him,” she sputtered out suddenly.

“What?”

What was she doing?

“Ba’al. I...I haven’t slept with him.”

“But you said…”

“I said it was none of your business. You jumped to your own conclusions.”

“But you knew which conclusions I would jump to.”

Nes lowered her eyes. “Yes.”

“Why?”

“I had to go back to him and it was still likely I was going to die from the poison. You would have missed your chance to come here.”

“Damnit, Nes. So you thought pushing me away was the best approach?”

“I’m a monster, Kevin! You shouldn’t want anything to do with me!”

He pitched his head forward and groaned dramatically. “How many times do we have to go over this?”

“Until you see what I am.”

“Nes…” He put his hands on either side of her face. “I know who you are.”

“You don’t, Kevin. You think you do, but there’s so much--”

“Lantash and Martouf saw you on Delmak, Nes.”

She pulled back in horror. “What?”

“They watched you publicly torture and kill those loyal to Apophis.”

Nes stood up to get away from him. “Why didn’t you say something?”

Kevin lowered his eyes. “It seemed...wrong to have their memories. Especially memories about you. I meant to tell you...I just couldn’t ever find the right moment.”

Nes felt sick thinking back to that time, to the faces of those she’d killed. She remembered the way Elliot had looked at her on Revanna when he’d first become Lantash’s host, with such disgust. At the time she’d thought it was just the general knowledge the Tok’ra had about her. It had never occurred to her that Lantash had had personal memories about her days posing as Sekhmet. She sat down on the edge of her bed and sank her head into her hands, but soon felt Kevin sit down next to her and place a hand on her back.

“I’m sorry, Nes. I should have told you. I think part of me thought you wouldn’t want to be around me if you knew I’d seen you like that.”

Nes stood abruptly, still trying to process. “I’m going to take a shower.”

“Okay...I’ll walk you to the infirmary after.”

“No, I’m fine.”

“Nes, please just let Dr. Beckett check you over.”

She didn’t look at him, but nodded slowly and walked to the bathroom, shutting the door firmly behind her. She undressed and her reflection revealed the massive bruises on her body, all at various stages of healing, a grotesque rainbow of purples, greens, and yellows. Once under the warm water, she let her mind go back fully to the things he’d seen her do, the memories they both had of that time.

He knew. He’d seen her. All this time she’d told herself he’d never want her if he really knew.

But he  _ knew _ .

Lantash had seen her make examples of those jaffa, torturing them for days as they were left out for everyone to see, for everyone to hear their screams as a reminder of what happened to anyone who stood against the Lord Sekhmet, against  _ her _ .

How could he have that memory and still see Nes when he looked at her?

And all this time, she’d been trying to protect him from the Sekhmet sides of her, from the things she’d done. She’d pushed him away, she’d lied, she’d run, all in an effort to keep him from knowing what he already knew.

She had been so sure someone like him could never  _ really  _ deal with her past and present, but it seemed the only thing he couldn’t tolerate was the thought of her being with someone else. He’d never been possessive like Ba’al, though, never threatened her, simply insisted that if she wanted to be with him, he wouldn’t share her. That was hardly a ridiculous demand. She certainly didn’t want to share  _ him _ .

Nes finally ventured back out to her room and found Elliot asleep on her couch. She wasn’t surprised. It was late. He’d had a long day searching the city for a possible bomb, then working to evacuate everyone, and  _ then _ using up his remaining energy with the goa’uld healing device.

She didn’t have the heart to wake him, but knew he’d be upset if she didn’t go to the infirmary like she’d agreed. She quietly left the room and made her way to see Dr. Beckett or whoever was on call for the night.

As Nes walked past the beds lined up along the walls, Ronan looked up and tilted his head as he took her in.

“You okay?”

“Yeah...sorry about that.”

Ronan shrugged, but before he could say anything else, Dr. Beckett appeared from the back.

“Ah, and we have our new guest as well. Well, I suppose you’ve technically been here a while now, haven’t you?” He looked at her face briefly and then her arms, before turning to a nurse tending to Ronan. “If you can finish with those stitches, I’ll examine her in the back.”

Nes swallowed hard, but followed him to a bed that was a bit more private. “Why don’t you lie down, love? It seems pretty obvious that your injuries aren’t just on your face.”

She did as she was told, but was still silent.

“Did you use a goa’uld healing device on some of these?” he asked as he examined her face.

“Captain Elliot did.”

“Ah yes, he was a Tok’ra host. I didn’t know he had a device here, though.”

“It’s mine.”

“Well, that makes sense now, doesn’t it?”

Dr. Beckett seemed fairly satisfied that her injuries were all superficial, but did want to check her over again in a day or two.

“And I’ll also need your real medical history, not Mary Wilkins’, okay?”

“Of course...I’m sorry for the deception.”

Dr. Beckett jotted down some notes. “You go by Nes then. How’d you end up with that name?”

“It’s one of Sekhmet’s names. Nesert.” She sighed as he looked up with curiosity. “I’d just gotten done pretending to be Sekhmet, came home, tried to be Tessa, but the Tok’ra wanted me to be Sekhmet again. It didn’t feel like there was much of Tessa left anymore.” She shrugged. “Still doesn’t.”

“Well, you wear a mask long enough, you begin to forget your own face.”

“So how do you remember it again?”

“Oh, that’s easy.” He looked up at her with a smile. “You just take off the mask.”

Nes couldn’t help but scoff at his suggestion. “Easier said than done.”

“Perhaps, but surround yourself with people who don’t require the mask and it’ll come off on its own, I think.”

She shrugged. “Maybe.”

“Well, there’s no Sekhmet and no Butcher in the Pegasus galaxy,” he said with a friendly smile.

“I suppose.”

“Alright, get some rest and I expect to see you day after tomorrow.”

There was some commotion in the main room and Nes could hear Kevin’s voice.

“Sounds like Captain Elliot is looking for you.”

They walked back out and Kevin had a scared look on his face, but calmed as he saw her. “You were gone when I woke up.”

“I said I would come to the infirmary. Didn’t need to wake you to find my way.”

Elliot directed his eyes behind her. “She alright, Dr. Beckett?”

“She’ll be fine, especially with all that you already did with the healing device. I might ask for the two of you to help out with that at some point.”

“Nes is much better at using it than I am.”

“I’d be happy to help...if any of your patients are willing to let The Butcher near them.”

“I’m sure they’ll all get comfortable with you as they get to know you.”

Nes smirked. “We’ll see.”

Elliot put a hand on Nes’ back. “Come on. You should get some rest.”

He walked her back to her room, both silent, but for Nes it was more exhaustion than anything else. After making sure she’d be okay, he said goodnight, but not before making plans for breakfast in the morning, and Nes gave him a small smile before shutting the door.

She had no idea where they would go from here.


	8. Chapter 8

The next morning, Elliot was at her door with a smile, but as they walked towards the mess hall, Nes’ nerves intensified.

Elliot noticed. “You’ve been to the mess hall before, Nes. Nothing new.”

“No. I’ve been there as Mary, not as The Butcher.” Her hands fidgeted as she tried to find something for them to do.

“You won’t be there as The Butcher. You’ll be there as Nes.”

“That’s not who anyone will see.”

Elliot finally reached over and took hold of the hand closest to him. “Eventually they will. Just give everyone some time.”

“How long was I at the SGC? Everyone still looked at me like I would kill them at any moment.”

“Well, let’s be honest, you didn’t exactly help that. Plus they were constantly seeing you on the news and in movies.” He stopped walking, but kept hold of her hand, forcing her to stop. “Wait here.”

“Why?”

“Just wait here. I’ll be right back.”

Nes watched him walk down the corridor and a few minutes later he came back holding two cups and a small paper bag.

“Coffee and muffins.” He handed her one of the cups with a triumphant smile. “Come on. We’ll eat somewhere else. It’s a bit of a walk, though. You up for it?”

How could he still smile at her like that? “I’ll be fine. Where are we going?”

“Southwest pier. There’s a lookout that has a nice view of the city.”

It  _ was _ quite a walk and Nes was glad when they finally arrived, her muscles still sore from the sparring the night before, but she had to agree with Elliot on the view. The city was stunning from this vantage point.

There were steps down to the balcony and they sat, Elliot pulling the food from the bag. Nes picked at the muffin, not feeling particularly hungry as she tried to sort out something to break the silence, but as she turned her head to speak, she found Elliot staring.

He laughed awkwardly. “I’m sorry. I’m just still kinda in shock that you’re here.” His eyes went back down to the coffee cup he spun around in his hands. “I missed you, Nes.”

“How could you possibly miss me after the things I said?”

“Well, I was definitely hurt and angry, too.”

“I really thought it was the best thing for you...to push you away.”

“And if I had just told you about Lantash’s memories, you would have known that I didn’t need you to protect me.”

Nes turned her body towards him, needing to see his face as he spoke. “I still don’t understand how after seeing those things, you don’t just see Sekhmet when you look at me.”

Elliot shrugged, but didn’t meet her eyes. “I knew  _ you _ first, Nes.” His mouth spread into a grin. “And I was hooked from that first night out on the restaurant patio.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah....didn’t realize how hooked until I saw you hug Nathan, though. I’ve never been jealous like that before.” He laughed. “I still feel stupid about that whole day.”

Nes couldn’t help but smile. “I’ll never forget your face when I introduced you two.”

Elliot glanced at her, then closed his eyes and tipped his head back. “Thanks.”

She grew more serious as she watched him. “I missed you, too, Kevin.”

He opened his eyes and looked down at her with a blank stare she couldn’t read.

“I worked so hard to never think about you,” she said quietly as she looked down at her lap.

Elliot reached his hand over to her face and she looked up expectantly. He paused, though, watching for her reaction. When she didn’t offer any resistance, he finally leaned down and kissed her. All hesitancy disappeared quickly, both so filled with desperation, and it wasn’t long before Nes leaned back, pulling Elliot along with her.

“Are we going to at least pretend to take things slow again?” he muttered into her ear.

“Mmhmm...do you want to pretend in my room or yours?”

Elliot let out a loud laugh and propped himself up on his elbows to look down at her. He pushed a few hairs out of her face and kissed her gently. “You’re supposed to tell me to stop.”

“I don’t want you to stop.”

Elliot let out a dramatic groan and let his head sink down into her neck. “That’s not helpful.”

“It’s the best I can do on such short notice.” Nes moved her hands under his shirt and up his back and turned her head to whisper in his ear. “Please, Kevin. I want to be with you first before B--”

She felt Elliot’s body freeze and she sucked in a breath realizing what she’d said as he pulled back again.

“Before, as in...before Ba’al,” he said as his face filled with disgust. “You’re still going to go back to him.” He stood, hitting his coffee cup off the ledge in anger.

Nes sat up abruptly, filled with both guilt and frustration. “I don’t have a choice! And I won’t be able to put him off any longer, Kevin.”

“I cannot  _ believe _ this,” he mumbled as he propped his elbows on the railing and put his face down into his hands.

Nes stood to approach him. “I’ve only been able to keep him away by insisting he make me his queen first, but with all his territories gone, now he wants me to be his wife on Earth, add some credibility to his role as a businessman.” She took a few deep breaths. “I agreed to marry him when I get back from Atlantis.”

Elliot straightened, but kept his eyes trained on the waves below them. “Then don’t go back, Nes. Stay here.”

“He won’t just let me go.”

He turned to face her. “Do you  _ want _ to go back to him, Nes?”

She wrapped her arms around herself and looked away, but Elliot stepped forward and grabbed hold of her shoulders.

“Just answer that one question. Do you want to go back to him?”

“Of course not, but it’s not that simple!”

“Yes, it is that simple. I mean, we’ll have to figure some things out, but Nes...please just let me  _ help _ you this time!”

“He’s dangerous. Someone has to watch him.”

“It doesn’t have to be you.”

Nes scoffed at his optimism. “Who else is it going to be?”

“I don’t give a damn who else it’s going to be, but you don’t have to destroy yourself like this. Do you think I can’t see that look in your eyes when you drop the mask? I saw it yesterday when you talked about the clones.”

Nes lifted her chin in defiance. “I’m  _ fine _ .”

“Like hell you are. Maybe you don’t remember the complete breakdown you had last night thinking Ronan was Alpha?!”

She pushed his hands off her arms. “It’s only when I’m around people who know me as Nes that that stuff happens. I can keep the mask on just fine around Ba’al and the clones.”

“And what happens if it starts to slip? He’ll  _ kill _ you if he finds out you’re not Sekhmet.”

“He’ll never find out.”

“How can you possibly be sure of that? Juggling all these different masks and personalities and now having to deal with multiple copies of him. Nes, no one can keep that up for very long.”

“I can! I have to.” She closed her eyes and lowered her voice. “Besides, I can’t leave Adaar to deal with them alone. He’s my responsibility.”

“Who’s Adaar?”

Nes swallowed hard and turned to the balcony. She shouldn’t have brought up Adaar, but Elliot needed to understand.

“Nes, who’s Adaar? Why is he your responsibility?”

“Because I made him like he is.”

“Made him like what? Stop being so damn cryptic.” Elliot wasn’t even trying to hold in his frustration anymore.

“A She’ket.”

He grabbed her arm to spin her around. “A what? You made him a She’ket?! What are you talking about?”

She couldn’t bring herself to look at him, but continued speaking. “I forced Alpha to meld with his host.”

“What the hell, Nes? Why would you do that?  _ How _ could you do that to his host?”

“I was curious...” She finally looked up and took in his disgust. “...curious what another She’ket would be like.” Another deep breath. “If he’d be like me.”

Elliot’s eyes went wide with horror as he released her and stepped back. “You’re Sekhmet.”

“I’m not, Kevin. I promise.” She moved toward him, but he kept backing away. “Kevin, please, listen. Everyone has it wrong. It’s not the symbiote who survives, it’s the host.”

“But Sekhmet’s still in there.”

“No, not her conscious mind, but everything else. Didn’t you ever wonder why we’re so different, both former hosts?”

He was shaking his head in denial. “No. You can’t be a She’ket.”

“Kevin,  _ please _ .” She got close enough to grab his jacket and he searched her face as she spoke. “Sekhmet didn’t know it would destroy her. She just didn’t want me to escape.”

He put his hands on her face. “But you’re both. You’re Tessa  _ and  _ Sekhmet.”

She took a deep breath, but nodded. “In some ways, yes, but it was Tessa’s mind that survived.”

Elliot leaned his forehead against hers. “That’s why it’s so hard to fight her, why it’s so easy for you to be Sekhmet again.”

“She’ll never really be gone, Kevin. I can push her down, but it’s hard on my own.”

He lifted his head so he could see her eyes. “So when you said I bring out the Tessa side of you...”

“It’s so much easier to be me, Nes, when I’m around you.” She put her head against his shoulder and he wrapped his arms around her tightly.

“How long have you known?”

“Since the beginning. At least, I knew that’s what Sekhmet was attempting. I didn’t know for sure if that was just the nature of being a She’ket until Adaar.”

“Are you and him…?” he asked cautiously.

“He hates me.” Or at least he had. One soft kiss hardly wiped out all the times he’d made his disgust for her clear.

“You freed him, though.”

“I doubt there’s anyone who hates Ba’al as much as Adaar...and now he  _ is _ Ba’al in many ways.” Her voice got thick. “Ba’al raped and murdered his wife, killed his children. He had to witness himself do those things and now he has Ba’al’s memories and emotions of it, too. I should have just killed them both.”

“You didn’t know, Nes.”

“It doesn’t excuse any of it. I was selfish.”

“You wanted someone like you. That’s understandable.”

“It still doesn’t justify it.”

“So Adaar’s the colleague you mentioned.”

“Yes, he’s pretending to be Alpha.”

“Why?”

Nes mimicked Adaar. “Why else? Revenge.” She took a step back. “I can’t abandon him after what I did.”

“Alright, we’ll figure it out.”

“How?”

He smiled at her and wrapped his arms around her waist to pull her close again. “Sometimes you just need an outside perspective. We’ll talk with Dr. Weir, Colonel Sheppard…” He winked. “...maybe even McKay.”

“They won’t want to help me after yesterday.” She looked down again. “I tortured Colonel Caldwell.”

He sighed. “I know, but Colonel Sheppard saw you last night. We’ll explain.”

“Kevin, you can’t tell them about me being a She’ket.”

“Nes…”

“Please. It will only make them more suspicious of me anyway.”

He was silent for a few moments before nodding. “Okay. We’ll leave all that out.”

“Thank you.”

“Nes, let me protect you now, okay?”

******

Eventually they made their way back to the control tower and found the expedition leader in her office.

Elliot leaned his head through the door. “Dr. Weir, do you have a few minutes?”

The woman looked at the captain and then at Nes, as well as their hands clasped together. “Yes, a few. I just received word that Hermiod is almost done with the calculations on the extraction.”

“Extraction?” Nes asked.

“Yes, Hermiod is going to attempt using the Asgard beaming technology to extract the goa’uld from Colonel Caldwell. Obviously the calculations need to be very precise.”

“Very.” Nes felt a twinge of jealousy at the Colonel’s forthcoming freedom.

“Please sit down.”

Elliot released Nes’ hand and guided her through the doorway before pulling the door shut behind them. They each took a seat and Nes worked hard to keep Sekhmet’s personality down.

“We need your help, Dr. Weir,” Kevin began.

“My help? With what?” Her eyes went back and forth between them in confusion.

Elliot took Nes’ hand and squeezed it gently in encouragement.

“I don’t want to go back to Ba’al.”

“You want to stay here?”

“Yes, but it’s more than that, Dr. Weir. He’s not going to just let me go.”

“So what do you propose?”

Elliot cleared his throat. “We think the best option may be to fake her death.”

“Again?”

He laughed, but Nes just looked at the ground. “Well, last time it was faking Tessa’s death. This time it’d be faking Sekhmet’s.”

“Nes...I’m not sure how comfortable I am with you staying here, especially after yesterday’s events.”

“I had to find out who sent the goa’uld in Caldwell, Dr. Weir.”

“And did you find out?”

She blushed slightly. “Yes. It was two of Ba’al’s clones.”

Dr. Weir’s voice took on some anger. “You said you learned nothing of value.”

Sekhmet’s smirk appeared for a moment. “Well, it’s not to you.” Nes quickly shifted her face back. “Dr. Weir, if we can send information back to Earth that allows Ba’al to find out that his clones were behind my death, it could seriously disrupt his organization.”

“What do you mean?”

“Ba’al will  _ not _ be happy if I’m dead and if he finds out his clones ordered the hit, he’d have to question their loyalty, maybe even kill them.”

“How do you know Ba’al will take such drastic actions from your death?”

Elliot’s face went hard. “He expects Nes to marry him when she returns.”

“Marry him? I guess I didn’t realize the goa’uld were so...traditional.”

“Well, my stipulations for being his queen hardly fit anymore with his territories gone. He’s trying to establish himself as a reputable businessman on Earth now.” She felt disgust rise up. “Even gave me a nice big diamond ring as a shackle before I accompanied him to the opera.”

Dr. Weir’s eyebrows shot up. “He’s being very open about his presence on Earth then.”

“He sees it as an insurance policy against assassination, which isn’t altogether foolish. And obviously the clones complicate things.”

“Considerably.” She sighed and folded her arms on her desk. “Well, we can see what we can do. I’d like to discuss with Colonel Sheppard and maybe a few others first, but we’ll have to contact Earth soon and I’d like to have a plan before that.” She looked at Nes with more sympathy than the young woman would have expected after their past interactions. “I know you’ve been through a lot, Nes, but I need honesty from you from this point on.”

Nes nodded sheepishly, knowing she would never be completely honest with her, but she’d at least try to do better than she had in the past.

A knock on the door grabbed their attention and Dr. Weir motioned for Dr. McKay to enter.

“Hermiod is ready,” he said as his eyes darted momentarily to Nes’ hand in Elliot’s. “I figured you would want to be there.”

“Yes, I do.” She turned to the two sitting. “Would the two of you like to come along? You might be helpful to Colonel Caldwell as former hosts.”

Again Sekhmet’s smirk distorted Nes’ face. “I highly doubt he’ll want to see me after yesterday.”

Elliot squeezed her hand hard to get her attention and Nes closed her eyes, working to push Sekhmet back again.

“Perhaps when he’s feeling well enough,” her voice strained as she remembered his screams, “I can apologize for hurting him. I really do feel badly that the colonel had to endure the pain as well.”

Rodney looked skeptical. “Oh yeah, I’m sure he’d love another chat with you.”

“We’ll let you know if he wishes to speak with you, Nes,” Dr. Weir interjected.

Elliot stood and Nes joined him.

“We’ll talk more later,” Dr. Weir said and then all four left the room, splitting up to their different destinations once past the walkway leading out of her office.

“Want to grab some lunch?” Elliot asked as they moved down the stairs to the lower levels. Nes let out a small groan and he stopped them on the landing. “Want me to grab some lunch for us to eat somewhere else?”

Nes gave him a small smile and he quickly looked around before pulling her into his arms with a concerned expression.

“My quarters okay?”

“Where we’ll take things slowly?”

“Very slowly.”

“You’re still terrible,” she said with a smile.

“I know.” He kissed her neck gently, but the sound of footsteps ascending the stairs separated them quickly and they made the rest of the walk as completely platonic co-workers, ignoring the stares given to The Butcher.

Elliot grabbed a variety of foods and then met her back in the hall, where they casually made their way to the southeast pier where some of the crew had quarters.

His rooms were considerably more spacious than Nes’ with a separate bedroom from the living room and even a small kitchen.

“There’s a large suite on the top floor, but no one’s claimed it yet,” he said as they entered the main room.

Nes had to smile, looking around. Despite Kevin having lived here for quite some time, it was still bare bones, a true bachelor pad. Many of the quarters she’d been in, occupied by the women she worked with, were fully decorated with items from both Earth and the Pegasus galaxy. She had assumed most of the crew quarters would be similar. She did wander over to a shelf that had a few books and picture frames, though, and saw his family’s faces peering back at her from behind glass.

He came up behind her and put his chin on her shoulder. “I realized quickly that I didn’t have any pictures of you.”

“There’s pictures of me everywhere.”

“No, there’s pictures of Sekhmet and sometimes there’s pictures of Tessa. There are no pictures anywhere of Nes.”

She was surprised by that, but of course he was right. Nes didn’t exist. Even the name Nesert Saeda had been occupied by her Princeton personality and now by Sekhmet’s with Ba’al. She should have used a different name and kept this one just for her.

“Hungry?”

Nes was tempted to respond seductively like she had when Ba’al had asked her the same question on Asdad, but the thought of the goa’uld killed the remaining playfulness that the pictures hadn’t destroyed.

“Not really.”

“You okay?”

“I just wish things were easier...simpler.”

“Nah, then they’d be boring.”

His smile was apparent even if Nes couldn’t see his face and she reached back to grab his arms to wrap around her.

“Well,” he began slowly, “if you’re not hungry, we could maybe find other things to do.”

Nes chuckled. “Is this you not trying to seduce me again?”

“Maybe.” He began to kiss her neck and let his hands spread across her abdomen as he pulled her closer.

“And is this the part where I’m supposed to tell you stop?”

“You can wait a while longer.” He loosened his hold, but only to turn her towards him so he could bring his mouth to hers.

Oh, she’d missed him. Missed his arms, his lips, the way his breath felt on her skin.

One jacket.

It was a dream to think she wouldn’t need Kevin anymore...that she wouldn’t  _ want _ Kevin anymore.

Two jackets.

Too often, people make room for the thing that hurts them because they want what it has to provide more than they hate the ways it destroys them. Kevin offered acceptance and maybe even love and Nes was finally beginning to admit that she wanted those things more than she wanted the things he took from her.

One pair of shoes.

He didn’t know that the ice pick he used was also a sledgehammer breaking down walls and collapsing the structures of her entire being.

Two pairs of shoes.

But what if she still had to go back to Ba’al? Should they make the most of the time they had? They weren’t just two people looking for a bit of fun, though.

One shirt.

If she had to leave him after this, it would hurt even more. Could she survive that separation without turning into Sekhmet again?

Two shirts.

And Adaar. The way he’d kissed her before she’d left Earth...he was like her, the only other She’ket.

Nes forgot where she was for a few moments, whose bed she was in, or who she was with. Panic rose up and she opened her eyes to assess the situation while still trying to keep herself calm. The man kissing her felt her body tense, though, and pulled back to look at her with concern.

“We should stop,” Elliot finally said, rolling onto the other side of the bed. “You’re clearly unsure.”

Nes started to protest, but he took her hand.

“It’s okay, Nes.”

“It’s not that I’m unsure about  _ you _ . There’s just still so much up in the air.”

“Ya know, Ba’al’s supposed to be the villain and yet he’s willing to marry you, make you his queen, actually prove his commitment to you.” He sat up and ran his hand through his hair. “And I think I’m supposed to be the good guy, but here I am, trying to sleep with you before you potentially run off to marry someone else.”

“It’s hardly that simple, Kevin.” Nes sat up as well, grabbing her shirt off the side table to put on again, and leaned against the headboard.

He took a deep breath as he watched her, finally turning away towards the window with a frustrated sigh. “I know, but I don’t like it. I don’t like even the idea that Ba’al is treating you better in some way.”

“He’s not. Kevin.”

“I still don’t understand  _ why _ he’s agreeing to your terms.” He put his hands up defensively, turning towards her. “Not that you’re not incredibly desirable, of course.”

Nes smiled. “Of course.”

“But...he’s certainly stronger than you…”

Nes sighed and nodded. “When I went back to him after he’d poisoned me that first time, he cured me with the sarcophagus, but then he...he tortured and brainwashed me.”

“Nes!”

“It didn’t work. I had to fight it, but I was able to tell that the implanted memories were false. Sekhmet’s residual influence, I guess. He was hoping to find me considerably more...willing, but he soon found a knife in his throat.” Sekhmet appeared with a look of triumph, but Nes shoved her aside with some effort. “I couldn’t escape, so I had to have his jaffa revive him. I had warned him before that he would never survive any attempts to force himself on me.”

“So he didn’t try again?”

“No, not that he doesn’t attempt more subtle techniques...constantly.” She shrugged. “Still, he’s a significant improvement over Apophis. And Anubis.” Her body shuddered involuntarily and Elliot moved across the bed to wrap an arm around her shoulders.

“I don’t want to even be in the same category as any of them.” He kissed her hair. “I want you to be sure and I want you to be  _ here _ and not just physically.”

“You’ve been waiting four years, though.”

“Yes, so it should be pretty obvious by now that I consider you worth the wait.”

They sat in silence for a few more moments, but Elliot jumped up rather suddenly. “How about a walk?”

“Sure. Need a cold shower first?”

“Don’t be mean. I’m trying to not seduce you.” He tossed a pillow at her before looking around for his shirt, which Nes couldn’t help but enjoy. “Are you going to help?”

“No,” she said with a smile.

“Keep this up and I’m going to take back everything I just said and…”

“And what?”

“Damnit, Nes. You’re  _ not _ helping.”

“I’m sorry.” She leaned down to the floor and grabbed his shirt, tossing it to him. “Here.”

“Thank you!” he said in an exasperated voice. “Let’s go.”

He practically ran out to the bedroom and Nes felt a twinge of guilt and regret as she watched him leave, but the door chimed and interrupted any further thoughts she had. Elliot opened the door without thinking, still putting on his shirt, and found Colonel Sheppard standing there.

“Hey Elliot, you turned off your comm.” His eyes darted to the movement further in the room, seeing Nes coming out of the bedroom, and he dropped his voice. “I see there was a reason. Sorry...umm...Colonel Caldwell asked to see the both of you.”

“He asked to see  _ me _ ? Are you sure he doesn’t just want to kill me?” Nes hunted around for her shoes and jacket strewn around on the floor, her cheeks becoming warm as she realized what Sheppard would think.

“I’ll stay with you, Nes.” Elliot moved back into the room to grab his own jacket and shoes and then they followed the colonel down to the infirmary, all silent in embarrassment.


	9. Chapter 9

Colonel Caldwell was propped up in a bed near the back and saw them come in. Nes stopped walking as they made eye contact, but Elliot took her hand and guided her the rest of the way.

“So are you Sekhmet or not?” he asked with a harsh tone.

Her defensiveness shifted her into Sekhmet with a smirk. “Well, I’m hardly the most reliable source for that particular question.”

“Nes…” Elliot squeezed her hand in a gentle reprimand and she took a long slow breath.

“I’m not Sekhmet, but it can be a little difficult to shake her personality sometimes. Muscle memory.”

The colonel nodded and a brief moment of distress crossed his face. “The goa’uld all seem pretty convinced you’re Sekhmet, though.”

“That was the idea.”

“But we’re supposed to trust you.”

Nes was fighting Sekhmet hard now. “You of all people should have a better understanding of what being a host does to you.”

He closed his eyes and hung his head. “Yes.” He opened his eyes and looked to Elliot and Sheppard. “Can we have a moment?”

Elliot began to object, but Nes assured him it was fine and they both left the former goa’uld hosts to talk.

“I’m sorry for torturing you. I mean...I’m not. I’d do it again...but I am sorry you had to feel it, too.” She smirked and leaned toward him. “I tried not to do any permanent damage.”

“Thanks,” he replied in a dry tone. He took a deep breath as he watched her. “Dr. Weir said you’re wanting to stay here instead of going back to Ba’al.” He waited for Nes to nod. “Why?”

Nes raised her eyebrows in confusion. It seemed obvious to her. “Because I’d rather not whore myself out for the sake of information. The goa’uld have already used my body enough for my taste.”

The colonel nodded grimly, lost in his own thoughts for a while.

Nes sat down on a nearby stool. “I have to get away. Even if Ba’al doesn’t kill me, the clones will keep trying.”

“Yes.”

“If Ba’al thinks I’m dead, if he finds out Kappa and Theta arranged it, it could cause quite a bit of infighting amongst them.”

“So you want me to report that I’ve murdered you.”

“That your goa’uld murdered me.”

“There will be an investigation.”

“Yes.”

“And I’ll have to sit there and tell them that I remember killing you.”

“Yes.”

“I’ve just spent months watching myself lie to everyone around me and now you’re asking me to lie some more.”

“Yeah, remember the whole Butcher thing? I had to let them blame me for all those murders. I’m only asking you to lie about one.”

He narrowed his eyes at her, but finally blew out a breath of acceptance. “Fine, but so help me, if you even think about harming this base or anyone here. I couldn’t protect this city the way I’d pledged before, but I sure as hell can now.”

“Understood. When do you head back to Earth?”

“Well, I’m technically not in command for the time being, but I believe Dr. Weir was planning to report to Earth tonight and then the Daedalus will leave in a few weeks.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I can’t say I’m looking forward to that debriefing even without the lying.”

“How long were you a host, Colonel?”

“I was taken right after we returned from our first trip to Atlantis.” He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the pillow. “They showed up at my house.” He was silent for several moments. “How do you ever move on?”

“I’m not a good person for that question either, but I don’t know. Time heals all wounds or something. I can try to come up with more bullshit platitudes if you want.”

He chuckled and looked at her with a smile. “I’m sure there’s plenty that apply to this type of situation, right?”

“Oh yeah. Umm...Rome wasn’t built in a day. Work smarter, not harder. The best things in life are free. Those help?”

He laughed again. “Thanks.”

“The truth is you’ll probably never fully recover. I’m not sure how anyone can.” She grew serious again. “Did you kill anyone?”

“Besides you?” he asked with a hint of disgust and she smiled. “No. He tried, but since his primary mission was gathering intel, he held back. I think eventually he would have taken out Sheppard in order to be the military commander here.”

“Well, see? You’re good to go. Nothing done that can’t be undone.” She was rather flippant with him, but honestly, death was the only thing that couldn’t be taken back and even that wasn’t a hard and fast rule.

“We’ll see.”

He looked tired suddenly, older, and his eyes grew more distant.

“I think I’d better let you get some rest, Colonel.” She waited until he nodded. “I really am sorry about the torture.”

“I suppose I should just be grateful you let me keep all my fingers.”

Sekhmet took over her face again. “Yeah, it’s not really fun until you start cutting things off.”

“She really messed you up, didn’t she?”

Nes ran her hand through her hair. “Like I said...not sure you ever really recover.”

She stood and left without saying any more. She wished she’d never come by to see him, struggling with both the memories of her own trauma as well as disgust over how little time he’d had to endure his body being controlled.

Though she had little room to complain, especially when she thought of Adaar and what he’d had to endure, what she’d done to him, what she’d made him.

She got out to the hall and Elliot’s face held concern as he saw her, but she smiled, just wanting to brush it all aside for the time being.

“I’m meeting Teyla, Ronan, and McKay for dinner if you two want to join us,” Sheppard said after checking his watch.

Elliot looked to Nes who nodded and they walked with the colonel down to the mess hall and sat down with the others after getting food, Nes introducing herself to Teyla since she’d only met Mary briefly and never Nes herself.

“How is Colonel Caldwell, John?” Teyla asked.

Sheppard looked at Nes with a shrug. “How’d he seem?”

“Like he just woke up from the worst kind of nightmare. He’ll be fine.”

“Will he? I mean, do we even know for sure that he’s himself again?” McKay asked in between bites of food.

“What are you trying to say, Rodney?” Nes turned towards him with a hint of a scowl.

He froze in fear with Nes’ look and tried to backtrack. “I didn’t mean...it’s just...I mean, I didn’t mean  _ you _ ...although, you aren’t exactly…” He finally just shoved a dinner roll in his mouth and looked away while the rest of the table chuckled.

“Colonel Caldwell was only host for a few months, not really long enough to become quite as warped as some of us other former hosts.” She started the statement as a joke, but it ended with a strong bitterness on the last few words and Elliot reached over to squeeze her hand briefly.

“Okay, so I gotta say...wouldn’t have put you two together.” Sheppard leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms as he observed them. “Though this explains why you never went for any of the nice girls everyone’s tried to set you up with, Elliot.”

“Are you trying to say I’m not nice, Colonel?” Nes asked with an edge to her voice.

“I just didn’t know his type was serial killer.”

Nes flashed a smile and her eyes, sending those across the table back into their chairs with wide eyes.

“See?” McKay said, pointing at her. “Now how are we supposed to know you’re not a goa’uld?”

Nes shrugged. “The real problem is that you all think your Captain Elliot is a good guy.”

“I am a good guy!” Kevin objected.

“No, you’re not, because you hold a record that no good guy would ever hold.”

“What record?”

Nes looked around the table. “I’ll preface this by saying that I used to lure drunk men to their deaths and none of  _ them _ hold this record.” Elliot started to look nervous and Nes raised her eyebrows, waiting for him to indicate if she should go on or not.

“I seriously have no idea where you’re going with this, but I’m curious...and scared.”

“You should be.” She again directed her attention to the others. “Kevin here holds the record for the shortest amount of time between a first kiss and...trying for way more than a first kiss.”

“Woah woah woah!” Kevin sat up straighter and hit the table.

“A move which I thwarted, I should add.”

The rest of the table howled in laughter while Kevin tried to defend himself. “No no no no no. I mean, one, that was a  _ really _ weird day where I basically can’t be held accountable for anything I did.”

“Uh huh,” Nes leaned back with her water and a smile, enjoying how his ears had gone red. “It was a rather unusual day. I’ll give you that one.”

“It was more than just a little unusual.” He started ticking off reasons on his fingers. “It was my first offworld mission, I was severely injured, I was taken as a host to a Tok’ra--”

“What’s a Tok’ra?” Ronan interjected.

“It’s like a goa’uld, but good. They share control with the host.” Nes answered while Elliot continued looking flustered.

“So...I was taken as a Tok’ra host, I died, I was brought back to life, and then had to pretend to be a goa’uld with Lantash.”

“You died and were then brought back to life?” Teyla’s eyes were wide in amazement.

“Yes. Nes has a bit of a stubborn streak and refused to let me stay dead.”

Nes shrugged and popped a grape into her mouth. “You promised me a date.”

“She pretended to be Sekhmet, the goa’uld she’d been host to, and took my body to another System Lord’s planet to use his sarcophagus. It can heal or revive the recently dead, but it comes along with some nasty mental effects if used too frequently.”

“I mean, that  _ does _ sound like a fairly weird day,” Sheppard said.

“Yes. So  _ clearly _ it’s understandable that I would get just a bit carried away.” He put his arm around Nes’ shoulders. “And Nes is forgetting to mention her role in this.”

Everyone’s eyebrows went up and Nes held up her hands in her defense. “The only way to keep us from getting separated was for me to pretend he was a bit more than just a servant. Plus, I wanted to make sure Lord Yu didn’t get any ideas. I was completely innocent in all of this.”

“Innocent, my foot,” Elliot mumbled. “I have a strong suspicion that even before Sekhmet, you were never quite innocent.”

Nes gave him a wink and he squeezed her shoulder.

“So then how did you two escape Yu’s planet?” Rodney asked.

Elliot’s jaw stiffened and neither one replied at first, but finally Elliot cleared his throat and gave the short version. “Nes sent Lantash and me away to retrieve a non-existent fleet then branded us a traitor so we couldn’t come back for her.”

He said it in such a way that Nes knew he expected her to feel guilt over her actions, but she raised her chin in defiance. “And it worked. You escaped.”

“But  _ you _ didn’t.”

“Eventually I left.”

“Yeah, but not before the sarcophagus messed you up.”

Nes smirked. “I was fine.”

Elliot’s voice got tight with frustration. “You weren’t fine. And I wasn’t there when you got back like I should’ve been.”

“I never expected you and Lantash to just sit around the SGC waiting for me. That’s ridiculous.” She waved her hand trying to brush away the unnecessary guilt.

“Except if I had, you never would have been captured by Ba’al.”

“You don’t know that.” Nes could see the rest of the table growing increasingly uncomfortable. “And if I hadn’t met Ba’al, Anubis may have succeeded in destroying all life in the galaxy.” She breathed on her fingernails and rubbed them on her shoulder. “I was the one who told Ba’al what Anubis was planning and he asked the SGC for help. I mean...yeah, the Ancients eventually stopped him, but they shouldn’t get all the credit.”

“And then Ba’al abandoned you for the jaffa to kill.”

Nes blew out a breath. He just kept coming back to awkward topics. “They didn’t kill me. Again...I was fine.”

Sheppard crossed his arms. “You didn’t really look fine when I first met you.”

“Lantash said you almost died,” Kevin said quietly.

Nes looked at him in confusion. “What would Lantash know about it?”

“He...he was there when they brought you back, paying his respects to Selmak before he died. He used the healing device on you.”

“I don’t remember that.”

“You weren’t awake.” He took a drink and avoided her eyes.

“What?”

Kevin cleared his throat. “He tried to convince General O’Neill to let him take you as a temporary host...to save you.”

Nes knew her face showed complete horror.

“The general wouldn’t let him, said you’d made him promise to not let the Tok’ra implant you.”

“Yeah, I was still conscious when Teal’c brought me back, heard them mention the Tok’ra.”

“I wish he’d let Lantash do it.”

“No!” Nes stood. “How can you say that? I  _ never _ want to be a host again.”

Kevin stood as well. “And it was better to go back to Ba’al?”

“That’s different!”

“It’s worse!”

“Would you really have wanted that? Would you really have wanted me to have access to  _ everything _ you shared with Lantash?”

Kevin took a few deep breaths and then looked around at the people staring, dropping his voice. “I just wish there had been a different way.”

“Ba’al still would have come back for me. Lantash wouldn’t have been able to stop that.” She reached over and took his hand and he nodded. Nes turned to the rest of the table with an apologetic smile. “And on that note, I think we’ll be going. Sorry, everyone.”

The others at the table nodded and waved off her apology, but she and Kevin still took off, wandering the corridors for a while and talking.

That was how they went on to spend most evenings and days off, strictly avoiding both of their quarters, both sharing more about their lives, particularly about the time where they’d been separated.

“Nes?”

They’d been silent for a while and Nes could tell Kevin was chewing on something he wanted to say or ask.

“Yeah?”

“What happened in LA?”

Nes’ walking pace faltered for a moment. “I told you. Ba’al found me”

“No, I mean...what happened that you didn’t come back after the mission?” He waited for a response, but when Nes stayed silent he continued on. “Samantha...Colonel Carter said you were struggling to push down Sekhmet again, that the hybrid, Anna, had killed Keffler and then killed herself. There was more to it, though, wasn’t there?”

Nes stopped at the end of a corridor and let go of his hand, folding her arms across her chest. “You understand more now about how strong Sekhmet is still. After I’d pretended to be her with Anna, after talking with that  _ disgusting _ copy of Sekhmet...I couldn’t get out of it again.” Nes had to take several breaths to calm herself and work up the courage to go on. “I found Anna with a gun trained on Keffler. I...I told her to kill him...and she did. She wanted to kill herself then, had the remote in her hand that would release the biotoxin into her system...but her Sekhmet had gained too much strength and wouldn’t let her do it. Sekhmet took her over completely then and went to hand me the remote...figuring I would help her since I’d told her I was Sekhmet, too.”

Nes stopped. She didn’t want to say it out loud. She didn’t want to see it in her mind again.

“And?” Kevin was trying to be patient.

“And instead, I pushed her thumb down to kill her.”

“Nes…” Kevin only stared in shock. “Why? She was like you.”

“I know.”

“Nes, I just don’t understand.”

“Kevin, I told myself that I was helping her, that I had begged for everyone to kill me when Sekhmet and I were captured and  _ no one _ would help me. Sekhmet was going to take over Anna completely anyway, but the truth is...I was scared. Keffler knew about Ba’al and would have blackmailed me. Anna...I was scared of people finding out what I really was.”

“So it wasn’t about revenge?”

“I’m sure that was part of it, but no. It was just straight up self preservation. I was horrified with myself afterwards. I knew if I went back I’d tell you what happened and I was scared of what you’d think of me. So I stayed in LA. I drank until I slept and I tried to avoid the guilt.”

Kevin leaned against the wall. “Was it Sekhmet that did it or you?”

“You know there’s not really a distinction between me and Sekhmet most of the time.”

He was silent as he watched her.

“So what do your instincts tell you about me now?” Nes hung her head, shame filling her chest.

“That you’re trying your best, but you’re going to have setbacks along the way.”

“I think you’re far too optimistic about me.”

“And I think you need someone being optimistic about you.”

“What if it’s not enough? What if I can’t be who you want me to be?”

Kevin came toward her. “Nes, I just want you to be you, but I want that to be someone who continues to grow and change and try her best. And I expect you to want that of me, too.” He pulled her into his arms. “My parents always used to say that they loved us as we were, but that didn’t mean they would stop encouraging us to improve ourselves.”

She looked at him skeptically.

“Nes, I’ve seen you do incredibly selfless things. I know what you’re capable of and I want to be around as you discover that about yourself.”

“But you’ve seen the horrific things I’m capable of, too.”

“Yeah, I have and I know it won’t be easy to fight everything Sekhmet left you with, but look how far you’ve come. Think about what you were like when you first became a She’ket, Nes. You said you couldn’t even go more than a few weeks without killing.”

“But I still  _ enjoy _ torture and killing, Kevin. Look at what I did to Colonel Caldwell just a few weeks ago!”

“You’re an addict. It will probably always be a part of you, but that means you just keep fighting against it. You didn’t kill Colonel Caldwell, you didn’t even do any permanent damage. That’s a lot better than a few years ago. Let all of us help you.”

He leaned down to kiss her and Nes pulled him as close as she could, never wanting to be away from him, but terrified that the more time he spent with her, the more his optimism would fade. She couldn’t walk away anymore, though. She didn’t have the strength. She’d have to risk the hurt.

Kevin was worth that risk.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Episode 9.14 “Stronghold”

Nes knew deep down that this was never going to last, but still she had built up enough hopes to have them crushed when Dr. Weir asked her to come to her office and informed her that Teal’c had disappeared.

“Members of the Jaffa High Council have been brainwashed. It’s likely Teal’c has been taken for that reason as well.”

“And they’re not sure who it is yet?”

“No. They’re still investigating.”

_ There must be a way to control the Jaffa again… _

“It’s Ba’al. It has to be him.”

“How can you be so sure?” Dr. Weir looked skeptical.

“It sounds like him…” Nes’ chest tightened. “I’d like to be on board the Daedalus when it leaves, Dr. Weir.”

“Ba’al thinks you’re dead. Isn’t that what you wanted?”

Nes dropped her head and rubbed her eyes. “I know, but I can use my connections to try to find Teal’c. And if I need to go back to Ba’al, I’ll be able to blame everything on a couple clones. He’ll take me back...hopefully without much punishment.”

“Nes...are you sure? You’ve been doing so well here.”

Nes nodded. “I’m sure. I won’t just leave Teal’c to suffer.”

“Mary Wilkins is technically dead so we can’t send you back under that name...we may be able to just leave you off any reports at all and Colonel Caldwell can help explain once you’re back to Earth.” Dr. Weir looked at Nes with sympathy. “If they find him, you’ll be welcome to return here.”

“Thank you...I better go pack.”

“And tell Captain Elliot.”

Nes’ shoulders slumped. “Yeah...that, too.”

She wandered back to her room, taking the long way that included several detours, but finally took a deep breath and pulled out her bag to start packing, mentally going over the conversation she planned for Kevin.

“What are you doing?” Elliot asked with confusion as he walked into Nes’ quarters, seeing her belongings strewn about the room.

Nes turned back to the bag on her bed.  _ Helping or caring. _ This was for his own good. “Packing.” She kept her voice light and casual.

“Packing? Why?” He tried to keep the panic out of his voice, but he needn’t have bothered with Nes.

“Because the Daedalus leaves in a few hours.”

“Nes!” He grabbed her shoulders and turned her towards him, but she kept her eyes down. “You said you were going to stay.”

Nes didn’t have to dig very deep to find Sekhmet ready for her and she lifted her face with a smirk. “Well, I say a lot of things. You really should learn not to believe me.” She leaned forward with a playful peck. “You were so much fun, though. We should do it again sometime.”

“What’s going on? What are you doing?”

“I told you. I’m leaving on the Daedalus. Now that Ba’al thinks I’m dead, I can take some revenge on him and the clones. It’ll be so much easier now.” She patted his cheek. “Thanks for the help.”

His eyes were darting across her face as he tried to sort out the truth. “Don’t, Nes.”

“Don’t what?” She pulled out of his arms and grabbed a few more items to shove into her bag.

“What’s really going on?”

Her voice caught with the pain she heard.

“Nes, stop it!” He grabbed her wrists to stop her from picking up more of her things. “What are you doing?”

She let her thumb glide over the lion ring she’d put on just for this reason. She needed to be Sekhmet now. “I just told you,” she said with a sigh of annoyance. “There’s not always a hidden truth, Kevin.”

“I can just go talk to Dr. Weir then.”

“What good will that do?” Nes took slow breaths trying to hang onto Sekhmet. She had hoped to be gone before he spoke with Weir.

“Well, she clearly is giving you permission to go. She wouldn’t do that without a good reason.”

“And I’m especially talented at providing good reasons.” Another smirk for him, but it was weak. Sekhmet was slipping away.

“Fine.” He threw her wrists down. “If you won’t tell me...” Elliot turned toward the door, but Nes reached out a hand to stop him.

She dropped her voice to a whisper and grit her teeth, her voice strained now as despair started to flood through her. “Let me do this, Kevin. It’s easier this way.”

“No! We’re not doing this again, playing this game!” He released a slow breath and softened his voice. “Talk to me, Nes.”

She fumbled around trying to find Sekhmet, but finally accepted the goa’uld couldn’t help now. She slid the ring off her finger and threw it into her bag. “Teal’c’s been taken.”

“Taken? And you think it’s Ba’al?”

“He’s the only player left in town and whoever took him has also been brainwashing members of the Jaffa High Council.”

“Ba’al does love a good brainwashing, doesn’t he? Okay, fine. You think it’s Ba’al. Why the act, Nes?”

Nes finally raised her eyes to his. “Kevin, if we’re together...then I can’t do what’s necessary.”

A small spasm when through his jaw as he clenched his teeth together. “You mean you can’t go crawling  _ back _ to Ba’al and  _ into _ his bed.”

Nes dropped her head at his disgust. “I can’t just sit back and hope everyone at the SGC is able to save Teal’c. How could I live with myself if he’s been brainwashed or killed? Knowing I could have possibly saved him?”

Elliot turned away from her and brought his hands to the back of his head in frustration before leaning down to pick up a book to throw at the wall.

“Damnit, Nes!”

She shoved her bag off the bed and sat down, trying to hold back the tears that were collecting in her eyes. She would never be free as long as Ba’al was alive. She didn’t want to accept all the blame for this, though. What was she supposed to do?

“Ya know, it’s all of you that make me Nes, but you’re also the ones that need me to be Sekhmet.”

“None of us  _ want _ you to be Sekhmet for us, Nes,” he said hollowly.

“But it’s been the only way. I never could have saved you just as Nes, Kevin. You know that.”

“So now I’m supposed to just send you back to him. How can you expect me to do that?”

So much pain and anger in his voice, just like when she’d sent him and Lantash away. Now she was sending herself away.

“I wanted you to be happy to see me go.”

“I’ll come with you. You don’t have to do this alone.”

“No! I can’t have you there.” She could never stay Sekhmet with Kevin around. “Just tell me you hate me and let me go.”

“I’m not going to do that, Nes, and you know it.” The despair had flooded him, too.

“Then I don’t know where to go from here.”

They both were silent, sorting out what to do next when Kevin finally turned and came over to where Nes sat, leaning down and gently pushing her back onto the bed.

“Stay, Nes.” He kissed her, moving his arm underneath her waist to shift her onto the bed more. “Just stay. You don’t need to save everyone.”

“I’m not trying to save  _ everyone _ . Just Teal’c, just my friends.” He kept trying to interrupt her with kiss after kiss. “Kevin,  _ please _ …”

She pushed him away. It was too difficult to remember what she needed to do when he held her, when he kissed her.

Kevin’s face seemed to finally register defeat and he swallowed hard, shifting his eyes away from hers. “If you’re going to leave,” he said with a firm, but pleading tone, “at least leave as Nes. Don’t make me say goodbye to Sekhmet instead.”

She closed her eyes, but nodded. He was making this so much more difficult.

“And Nes?” He waited until she opened her eyes again. “Come back, okay? I don’t care what you need to do or who you need to be, just come back and we’ll sort it out from there.” He raised his eyebrows, waiting for a response. “Okay?”

“Okay.”

He kissed her more possessively then and Nes responded with the same desperate need, trying to hold onto something that was already rapidly slipping away.

“Do you still want to be with me first?” Kevin whispered in her ear.

Nes did, everything in her did, but she was sure she’d never be able to leave then. She shoved aside that desire with too much effort. “I won’t go then.”

He pulled back with a sad smile. “All the more reason then.”

Nes put her hand on his cheek. “I’ll come back.”

“Then I’ll wait.” He grinned. “Please don’t make me wait too long, though?”

Nes laughed. “I’ll do my best.” She turned her head to the side to see the chaos around them. “I should really finish packing.”

“Five more minutes,” Kevin said as he started kissing her again. “Maybe ten...fifteen…twenty at the most...twenty-five is barely more than that...half hour is probably okay…”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Episode 9.16 “Off the Grid”

Halfway through their trip, they were able to contact Earth and Nes was relieved to hear that Teal’c had been found. One of Ba’al’s clones had been killed in the rescue attempt, but Teal’c himself had kept his mind during the brainwashing they’d inflicted upon him. Nes had to wonder which clone was dead now. It was likely Zeta or Eta who had done more work offworld, but really it could have been any of them. It would certainly be nice if it were Kappa, but she doubted he would have been so foolish as to put himself in harm’s way like that.

Nes spent most of her time alone, but she had a few meals with Colonel Caldwell, who was still trying to sort through what had happened to him. She offered what help she could, but added random platitudes more than any real advice. That usually led to some laughter, though, and that could be the most helpful to anyone trying to overcome a trauma like they’d both experienced.

As they got closer to Earth, the Daedalus was asked to take a detour to check on a planet called Tegalus, which the SGC had been unable to contact after a mission had gone badly. The Earth ship, Prometheus, had been destroyed and when they arrived, the debris from the vessel still drifted above the planet. As for the two civilizations that had inhabited Tegalus, they were completely devastated. The two warring countries had destroyed one another.

Nes and Colonel Caldwell stood looking out the window, trying to grasp the sheer magnitude of life lost.

“And yet there is too big a part of me that feels they got what they deserved for killing Colonel Pendergast,” Caldwell said coldly.

“Were the two of you friends?”

“We were...before I was taken as a host. There was quite a bit of hostility after that. I never got to apologize.”

“But he would have heard the news about you. He would have understood.”

The colonel shrugged. “Maybe, but I still wish I’d been able to talk to him again.” He rubbed his eyes. “His wife and kids...they’ll never know the full truth of why he died, the amazing things he did, how he protected Earth.”

“That’s a risk you all accepted when you joined the Air Force and then the Stargate program - that you might die without anyone really knowing the details.”

“I suppose you’ve taken on the same risk...not exactly by choice, though.”

“No. My brother knows some of the truth. So at least  _ someone _ knows. But I already died to everyone else. I’ve been dead such a long time already.”

“Why don’t you tell them? Not that I suggest that, but you’re not exactly known for abiding by the rules.”

Nes chuckled. “No. I’ve found quite a bit of flexibility within the  _ suggested  _ rules...but I’m not Tessa anymore and they’d want me to be Tessa for them. Even with my brother...he thinks Sekhmet did all the killing. He doesn’t know I’m a murderer, a monster, and I can’t bring myself to shatter his view of me.” She sighed. “Unfortunately, that means I choose avoidance more than anything else, which is hardly better.”

“You don’t think he can handle the truth?”

“ _ I _ can barely handle it. I choose avoidance with myself as well.”

“You’re not exactly running around killing people anymore, though, right? When was the last time?”

Nes swallowed hard as she thought. “A few months back.” She didn’t want to feel any guilt for killing Delta. “Though he technically didn’t exist and is legally still alive, so...he doesn’t count, right?” She gave the colonel a wink and he responded with an uncomfortable smile.

It was only a couple more days until they were in Earth’s orbit, though Nes stayed aboard the Daedalus until she could be beamed down to a small office in Area 51, where they’d temporarily disabled the jamming devices. General Landry was already there waiting.

“You’re supposed to be dead...again.” He leaned back in his chair observing her.

“I know, but it was the only way I could think of to get away from Ba’al.”

“But you came back  _ with _ Colonel Caldwell who supposedly killed you. Forgive me if this doesn’t seem like a great plan.”

“I didn’t  _ plan _ to come back on this trip, but I heard about Teal’c being captured right before the Daedalus was scheduled to leave. I had a feeling it was Ba’al and wanted to help if I could.” She shrugged. “But it sounds like that’s all sorted out, so I’ll just catch the next trip back to Atlantis.”

General Landry moved his hands to the desk and gave her a grim look and Nes felt her stomach sink.

“What’s Ba’al done now?”

“He started stealing Stargates.”

“Stealing them? Why would he…” Her voice trailed off and she closed her eyes with a deep sigh. “‘If only we could start over again…’”

“What was that?”

She waved off his question. “Just something Ba’al said to me once. What have you learned?”

“Well, I’ve been here talking with Nerus, but he’s not giving me great information so far.”

Of course. Nerus had been transferred to Area 51 after his trickery with the Ori. Nes was surprised Ba’al had let him live, but she supposed he’d been busy with other things and Nerus hardly seemed a threat.

“So you’d like me to see what I can learn,” she said with only a hint of the defeat she felt.

The general nodded. “Ba’al should think you’re dead, so I understand if you don’t want to reveal the truth to him.”

“Hopefully it won’t come to that, but I can reach out to a contact I trust first. He may know what’s going on.”

“And what contact is this?” Landry asked suspiciously.

“One that wouldn’t take kindly to me sharing anything about him with you.”

“Alright, then. Do you need us to beam you anywhere?”

Nes winked. “I always like to have my own transport. I’ll be in touch.”

She gave a mock salute before tapping her bracelet and beaming aboard her ship, her body relaxing immediately within the familiarity of its walls. She moved the tel’tak over the Eastern US coast and did a few scans of Ba’al’s house, surprised to find only four life signs in the rooms she knew had belonged to the clones. It was already night here, so she decided to risk beaming inside Alpha’s room. She wouldn’t be able to sense if it was Adaar or not, but maybe luck would allow her a glimpse of his wrist while he slept. At least she knew the real Ba’al would sleep in the master bedroom.

A quick flash and Nes was standing in a darkened bedroom. She remained completely still, waiting for her eyes to adjust to the dim lighting, and slowly she could make out the form under a blanket on the bed in front of her. She moved very slowly toward him and breathed a sigh of relief that he was the type to sprawl out on his back as he slept, his wrist showing a clear alpha tattoo.

“Adaar,” she whispered, but he didn’t move. She increased the volume of her voice and said his name several more times. Once he shifted slightly, but still didn’t wake up, so she carefully drew even closer to him. She knew it was probably foolish to wake him up like this, but was unsure what else to do without waking any of the house’s other occupants.

Nes leaned forward and put her hand gently on his shoulder. “Adaar,” she said again with the physical contact.

He reacted quickly, his eyes opening with a flash and his hand reaching out to grab her throat, rolling away to flip her onto the bed next to him. His hand squeezed tighter as he moved above her, making Nes gasp, but slowly his eyes saw her as he woke up, his brain catching up to his reflexes. His grip loosened, though he did not release her.

“Nes!” he said in a loud whisper. “They said you were dead!”

“I know. I didn’t know how else to get away from him.”

Adaar’s hand moved from her throat up to her cheek and his eyes flitted around her face like he was trying to make sure she wasn’t just a dream. “I thought you were gone…”

“And you weren’t glad?” she said with a smirk, though her voice held some bitterness.

“No...no, I wasn’t glad.” He stared at her for a few more moments before leaning down to kiss her in the same way he had before she’d left. It was nothing like kissing Ba’al, though it was the same lips, the same mouth, and she found her own lips responding before she thought suddenly of Elliot and pushed Adaar away.

“I still don’t know you, Adaar. And you don’t know me.”

He smiled. “Hmm, we’ll have to remedy that, then, won’t we?” He grew more serious again. “I am glad you’re okay. When Ba’al learned of your death...”

“Did he blame Kappa and Theta?”

“Theta. And he was...punished, though he was able to convince Ba’al it was just a mistake, not intentional.”

“And he still doesn’t know Kappa and Theta are working together?”

“No. And then he grew distracted with the attempt to take over the Jaffa High Council and Zeta’s attempts to brainwash Teal’c.”

“Yes, that was what prompted my return from Atlantis.”

Disappointment showed briefly in Adaar’s face before he finally sat up. “Why are you here, Nes?”

“Ba’al is stealing Stargates.”

“Yes.”

“He’s going to try setting up his own network, isn’t he?”

Alpha’s smirk appeared. “I’ve always admired how quick you are. Yes, he’s taking Stargates and will try remaking his empire. I believe he’s still searching for suitable planets, though.”

“Which clones are still here with you?”

“Gamma and Theta are still running much of The Trust’s operations and Kappa works with the businesses with me. Epsilon stays out in Seattle usually and has been buying up real estate still. Ba’al is well established on Earth now.”

“And where is our dear Lord Ba’al?”

“He’s been offworld since your death, directing the clones in various plots and schemes.”

“How many clones are there now?”

“I don’t know. He’s been creating more in a few different facilities, but they’re all offworld now.”

Nes rubbed her temples. “I don’t even know where to start with stopping him anymore. There’s too many.”

Adaar brought a hand up to her shoulder. “I think eventually he will destroy them himself. He will use us and then he will want to be the only one again.”

“They must all know that then.”

“Yes, but what choice do they have with the tracking beacons but to serve him?”

She nodded in understanding. “I’m going to have to go back to him, aren’t I?”

“No. Let me figure out what’s he up to.” He moved his hand back up to her face. “Besides, Kappa and Theta will definitely kill you if they find out you’re still alive.”

“So what now?”

“Lay low. Stay at one of your houses.”

“I can’t just sit around, Adaar.”

He smirked at her. “You made me do it. Alone. In Spain.”

Nes smiled sheepishly. “I needed to get away from you.”

“And now? Do you need to get away from me now?” He shifted his hand into her hair and pulled her toward him again.

“You confuse me, Adaar.”

“Because you still see Alpha and Ba’al when you look at me?”

“That’s part of it. Don’t you still see Sekhmet?”

“Yes, but I don’t really mind the look of either of you.” He winked and Nes couldn’t help but laugh before remembering the other clones in the house, two of which very much wanted her dead.

She returned to a whisper. “I should go.”

“Don’t go.”

“Adaar…”

“How can I contact you?”

“I suppose I could just get us phones, couldn’t I?”

He chuckled. “That would work.”

“I’ll be back in a night or two.”

Nes moved to the edge of the bed and stood to leave, but Adaar jumped up and came alongside her, leaning down to kiss her once more.

“I really am glad you’re okay. Be careful.”

Nes beamed away then so she could sort out her thoughts aboard her ship alone, but once there. she shoved all of it to the side to focus instead on getting back to Area 51 to speak with General Landry.

She should really stash some liquor on board.

*****

General Landry had already gleaned the same information from Nerus about Ba’al’s plan to rebuild, trying Nes’ patience over the entire situation. If she was going to risk her life, she’d at least like it to be of some value, instead of a redundancy.

“You can’t possibly be serious about letting him go, General!” Nes said with more than a little disrespect in her voice.

“I am very serious, Miss Saeda.”

“Doctor.”

“Excuse me?”

“Dr. Saeda. Technically. I mean, it’s not actually legit. I would have eventually finished at Princeton, though, without all the...interruptions.”

“I’ll just call you ‘Nes.’”

“That works. So what’s the plan with Nerus then?”

“That  _ is _ the plan. He gives us coordinates to Ba’al’s operations and we grant him his freedom.”

Nes narrowed her eyes at him with a look of disdain before he gave her just the tiniest of winks and turned to leave.

Well, how do you like that? The general was a good liar when he needed to be.

“So I’ll just check in with you later, then? I’d rather lay low for the time being.”

“Stay out of trouble, Nes.”

“Of course, General. You know me.”

He turned back with a skeptical look and Nes gave him a quick shrug before beaming away again.

Nes wanted to have a chat with Sam about everything once she was back from whatever the general was planning, but since it could be days until SG-1’s mission was complete, she set things up to monitor Sam’s house for her return. In the meantime she beamed herself down to the complex in the British Virgin Islands that she enjoyed so much.

An island separated by a sandbar from the bigger island, it was completely isolated and the stone buildings gave the appearance of an old fort that had withstood the test of time, defending the bay from pirates and enemy vessels. It was dark when she arrived and there wasn’t anything for food, but she really just needed wine and a bed so she could sleep instead of think.

Too far into a bottle, though, she received an alert that a life sign had shown up at Sam’s house. She debated for a few moments on whether or not to go check it out, but ultimately the wine decided for her and she collapsed onto the bed for the night.

Nes woke up early afternoon with a throbbing in her forehead and eyes that needed darkness again. Some pain meds, followed by a few shots and a long shower, eased the pain enough that she could get dressed, and then she beamed back aboard the tel’tak. There was still a life sign at Sam’s house; likely she’d been given the day off after their long ordeal. Nes prepped herself for surprising the colonel yet again.

She could see that Sam was out in the garage, so Nes appeared in the living room, took a seat with a magazine from the coffee table, and waited. She heard the door open and close and footsteps coming down the hall, but she kept her look of complete obliviousness, pretending to read.

“Nes?” Her voice held surprise with some undertones of uncertainty.

“Hi Sam. Sorry about the surprise again.”

“But...they said you were killed...by Colonel Caldwell’s goa’uld.”

Nes stood. “I didn’t know how else to get away from Ba’al, but when I heard about Teal’c getting captured, I joined the Daedalus back to Earth.” She ran her hand through her hair. “Of course, you guys saved him, like you do, but then there was all the drama with the gates…”

“Yeah, General Landry planted a locator beacon on Nerus and some viruses in some of the crystals he had. Once he was aboard Ba’al’s ha’tak, the virus took out the main systems, we beamed aboard, tagged the gates, ran into a bit of trouble with the Lucian Alliance, but managed to escape through one of the Stargates back to Earth. Done and done.”

“Wow...well, good. And Ba’al?”

“The ha’tak was destroyed, so...hopefully?”

“I doubt it. Just another clone, I’m sure.”

“I just can’t believe you’re here.” Sam came forward with a hug. “I’m glad you’re okay, Nes.”

Nes couldn’t help but be a bit surprised by her emotion. “Thanks…” She gave Sam a small smile, but then sat down again, uncomfortable with people caring if she were alive or dead. Nathan! “No one told my brother I was dead, right?”

“No. He’s still deployed, but we were working on a small memorial service for when he got home and would have told him then.”

“Good. I don’t think he’d deal well with me dying...again.”

Sam sat down on the couch with a smile. “So how’s Captain Elliot?”

Nes laughed outright. “He’s good...”

“Is he why you wanted to get away from Ba’al?”

Nes shrugged. “He’s part of it, but I just didn’t see an escape until he pointed it out.”

“So what now?”

“I honestly don’t know. I might try to catch the Daedalus back to Atlantis, but...I think I have some things I need to sort out here first.”

“Like…?”

“Like...things.”

Sam had to chuckle at that. “It’s always so nice when you give such details.”

“I’ve got a friend I need to help,” she said with a sigh, “but I’m not sure how to do that quite yet.”

“A friend?”

“Well, maybe not a friend...more...I don’t know.”

Sam raised her eyebrows and Nes stood under the scrutiny.

“I’m gonna go, Sam. Glad you guys are okay, too. I’ll be in touch.”

“Nes...are  _ you _ okay?”

“Just trying to sort things out.”

Sam nodded, but still looked worried. “Nes...you can talk to me. You know that, right?”

“And we both know that’s not the truth. You’d have to go back and tell General Landry anything you think he’d need to know.”

“And your...friend is something he’d need to know about?”

Nes nodded. “Someday...I’ll explain. But not yet.” She lifted her wrist. “See you around.” She tapped the bracelet before Sam could say anything more.

Would she ever tell Sam the truth? She hoped she’d be able to someday.


	12. Chapter 12

Nes spent the rest of the day getting a few phones for her to use with Adaar and making the necessary calls to set up her island house. As tempted as she was to start drinking to kill time, she knew it would be unwise to be even slightly intoxicated around Adaar. She barely trusted her self control as it was.

She beamed again into Alpha’s room that night, but again struggled to wake up Adaar with her voice alone. Again she approached him and again he was quickly on top of her with a hand around her throat, though the lack of force and the smile on his face suggested it’d simply been a ruse.

“It’s just me.”

“Oh, I know, but I enjoy talking to you in this position.”

“I highly doubt you have talking in mind.”

Adaar’s face became dramatically offended. “Of course I have talking in mind.” He leaned down to kiss her. “It’s just not  _ all _ I have in mind.”

“Adaar…”

“Nes, I’ve been thinking…” He took a deep breath as he watched her face. “Run away with me.”

“What?”

“Run away with me. Ba’al thinks you’re dead. I don’t have a tracking beacon and we can easily fake my death, too. Even blame Kappa and Theta for it if we want.” His hand stroked her cheek. “We could be free. We could hide and live our lives...together.”

“Adaar, I…” Nes shifted uncomfortably and gently pushed him off of her.

“Is there someone else?”

Nes nodded.

“Please tell me it’s not one of the clones.”

“It’s not one of the clones...just someone I met at the SGC a few years ago.”

“And he’s why you faked your death. He’s in Atlantis.”

She nodded again.

“Do you love him?”

Nes took a long slow breath. “I’m not sure I’m capable of that anymore.”

Adaar leaned forward to put a hand on her face. “He’ll never understand you the way I can, Nes. Does he know what you are?”

“He does.”

“And how does he feel about the Sekhmet side of you?”

“He helps me fight her.”

He pulled her closer. “I would accept every part of you. I wouldn’t make you suppress Sekhmet, but use her, the way you taught me to use Alpha.” He kissed her with more force. “We belong together.”

Adaar again pushed her down onto the bed and Nes struggled to argue with his logic in her head. He  _ was _ like her. Alpha and Sekhmet would always be drawn to one another. She and Adaar  _ could _ run away, be together, leave Ba’al and the clones behind, never look back.

But Kevin…

“Let me make love to you,” he whispered in her ear. “Let me show you how good we could be together.”

Nes had to smile. “I have no doubt of us being good together like that, Adaar.”

He pulled back with a chuckle. “You’re just not sure about every other way.”

“Just give me time. Give  _ us _ time to see how Adaar and Nes get along instead of just Ba’al and Sekhmet.”

“Alpha.”

“I already know how Alpha and Sekhmet get along.”

“There was certainly an intensity between them,” he said with a wink.

“Is that what you call it?”

He shrugged. “Obviously, they had some issues to work out as well.”

Nes pushed him off with a laugh. “Assault, murder, torture...those issues?”

Adaar wrapped his arms around her again. “See? We have history.” He buried his face in her neck. “It could be so good, Sekhmet.”

That woke her up.

“Nes.”

“Hm?” He trailed his lips down to her shoulders.

“You called me Sekhmet.”

“No, I didn’t.”

Nes sighed. “Yes, you did. See? We might have too much history. It’s too confusing.” She shoved him off in frustration.

Adaar groaned. “No, I’m sorry. We’ll sort it out,  _ Nes _ .”

“We’ll see. I need to go. I programmed my number into the phone. I’ll be in touch.”

“Don’t go.”

Nes climbed off the bed before he could grab her again. “I  _ am _ going, Adaar.”

He followed her. “Fine. I’ll let you know if I learn anything new about Ba’al and his activities. Stay safe.”

Nes gave him a brief nod before beaming up to her tel’tak where she closed her eyes and let out a deep sigh.

What was she going to do about Adaar? She should have just killed him and Alpha.

She sat down in disgust with her own thoughts.

What kind of person wishes they’d killed someone simply so they didn’t have the confusion of too many romantic interests?

Sekhmet.

A goa’uld who saw others as lesser beings made to serve her own purposes and nothing more.

The island house should have a fully stocked liquor cabinet by now.

*****

Nes spent the next day by her pool looking out at the ocean and drinking more than was likely safe surrounded by cliffs and water, but the first bottle quieted all of those more cautious instincts rather quickly. She didn’t go see Adaar that night. She didn’t trust herself around him, but the next day was a Saturday so she texted to see if he was available now that the work week was done. She knew the clones normally had other affairs to attend to, but she also knew they took advantage of any time off.

She needed to see if there was anything between them that didn’t belong to the goa’uld, but it was proving difficult to mentally sort out. She knew nothing about Adaar and wasn’t even sure how much of him was left in there. And he knew nothing about Tessa, but all of that information, all of her past before Sekhmet seemed completely irrelevant to who she was now.

Was it, though? All of that set the groundwork for how she dealt with Sekhmet, who she turned into. It must be like that for Adaar, too. He wasn’t just Ba’al or just Alpha. Adaarbal had been just a man before he’d been taken, before he’d been cloned, before Nes had forced him to change.

Nes had attached a locator beacon to the phone so once he agreed, Nes beamed him up to her tel’tak where he gave her one of Ba’al’s seductive smiles. She promptly beamed them down to the island house, figuring she could show him around the area.

“Stunning view, Nes,” he said as he walked towards the edge of the cliff, making Nes’ stomach tighten as she fought back a sudden thought of giving him just the tiniest of pushes over the edge.

Nes turned on her heel and took the steps two at a time up to a different level and heard Adaar chase after her.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m hungry. Let’s go take one of the boats. I have a favorite restaurant on one of the nearby beaches.”

He grabbed her arm to stop her. “Nes, what is it?”

Nes took a deep breath. Honesty was probably their only choice if they really wanted to see where things would go. “I wanted to push you off the cliff.”

Alpha’s smirk appeared and he laughed. “Thank you for fighting that urge. I’m not going to fight this one, though.” He pulled her into his arms and kissed her firmly.

“Adaar, this doesn’t help things.”

“Depends what we’re trying to do.”

“Lunch. We’re trying to go get lunch.” She pushed him away more forcefully. “Adaar, please.”

“Alright, I’m sorry.” He held out his arm for her to take. “Lunch?”

She needed to get him somewhere public to keep him civilized. “Thank you.”

The boat ride over was short and fortunately, the owner of the restaurant recognized her and got them a table right away despite the crowds at that time of the day.

They sat with drinks, overlooking the water, but Nes’ eyes kept returning to Adaar, trying to seek out the man who had existed before the goa’uld.

“Who were you before, Adaar?”

“Before Ba’al?” He waited for her to nod though they both knew it was unnecessary. They both had the same ‘before’ in their lives. “It was a long time ago, Nes.”

“But it’s still part of who you are now.”

“Yes, but...such a short time compared to all the other memories.”

Nes smiled in understanding. “I’ve had the exact same thought as well. I’m still curious.”

He looked back out at the view and slammed back the rest of his drink, catching the waiter’s eye afterwards to have him bring another one. “What do you want to know?”

“I don’t know. Your family...what you did for a living…”

“Well...I was the second of seven kids, the oldest boy, four brothers and two sisters.” His face twisted to disgust. “My parents used to comment so often about our family being blessed by Ba’al.”

He ran his hand through his hair and leaned back in his chair. “I went to work for my father who was a craftsman. I was good at what I did, building furniture, houses, anything anyone needed.” Adaar paused as he thought back. “I met Ashtoret through my sisters.” His eyes drifted away from Nes and a small smile played on his mouth. “I still remember the first day I saw her, walking with my sisters as they came back from washing, pink cheeks and hair all matted to her face on such a hot day.” He chuckled at the memory. “I dropped a chunk of wood on my foot.”

Nes smiled, watching the young man appear through again. So much heaviness melted off him and he was silent for quite a while before blinking several times and clearing his throat.

“We married less than a year later and had our first boy a year after that.” The smile returned. “I was so proud and everyone said he looked just like me.” He winked at Nes. “Even had my mischievous smile.”

“So that’s not all from Ba’al?”

He laughed. “No. Ashtoret always used to ask what Teres and I were up to, father and son both giving her the same smile.”

The waiter came with his drink, disrupting the jovial mood, and Adaar’s face became more solemn, but he found another smile. “We had a little girl far too soon for my sanity and then she looked like me, too. She had her mother’s smile, though. Innocent and sweet. Another girl came another year later and she looked just like Ashtoret in every way.”

Horror filled his face and body then. “Teres was five when Ba’al’s First Prime arrived in our village and took me, one of my brothers, and another man. Ba’al had a...type and we fit his preferences.” Again disgust covered his face. “I was  _ honored _ to be selected for service to my god.” He dropped his voice to a whisper. “I thought I’d come back.”

Nes reached a hand out to his arm. “You didn’t know any different back then.”

“If I could go back, I’d have hidden like a coward in the bushes or slashed my face up. I’d have done anything to stay with Ashtoret and the children...protected them.” He drank the majority of what was left in his glass then. “I couldn’t stop thinking about them, couldn’t stop screaming their names even if no one but Ba’al could hear.”

“And he didn’t appreciate that.”

His face went pale. “No. He went back to the village...took Ashtoret...killed the children…” He shuddered. “Teres still remembered me...Ba’al strangled him.” He looked down at his outspread palms as they shook. “My own son had to watch his father kill him...he couldn’t have known what was really happening.”

Nes lost any semblance of an appetite with that mental image. “How have you not killed the monster already?”

Nes watched his face transform just as hers did, shoving aside all the thoughts and feelings that were far too difficult to deal with and pulling up the goa’uld who so quickly calmed the body and soothed the mind.

Alpha replaced Adaar with a smirk. “Because I’m the monster now.”

Her body went completely cold, every hair standing on end, as they locked eyes. The inner war she had of wanting to comfort him, wanting to kill him...she didn’t want to be around other people, but she was terrified to be alone with him.

Alpha reached over to caress her cheek. “And you, my dear, who were you  _ before _ ?”

Nes pulled away in disgust before going through her own transformation, unable to see anything but a man who had killed her with glee. “Before Sekhmet or before Ba’al? Maybe before you?”

“Mmm...before we killed you even.” He chuckled. “I suppose I should be more specific, though. We’ve killed you so many times now.” He took her hand and kissed the knuckles. “Every time better than the last.”

Nes smirked and leaned closer to him, taking a deep breath in and releasing it slowly. “My biggest regret in forcing you into being a She’ket is losing the opportunity to kill you. Torture was simply not enough. If I had a sarcophagus...I might be tempted to still kill you now anyway.”

“I’m still tempted to do any number of things to you.” He looked her over, his thoughts apparent. “We should go back to your house.”

Nes laughed at his suggestion. “And let you do to me what you did to Adaar’s wife? I don’t think so.”

His eyes flashed, but he was facing away from the other patrons so Nes just smiled innocently. Adaar reappeared then with grief and pain and simply stood up and walked out while Nes sat in guilt. She paid as quickly as she could, leaving a large tip, and found Adaar in an alley throwing up. Nes came alongside him and put a hand on his back.

“Why did you have to bring them up?” he choked out. “I was fine never thinking about them ever again.”

“I was curious...again.”

“Your curiosity seems to always hurt me.”

“I’m noticing.” She rubbed his back. “Come on.”

“Thought you didn’t want to go back to your house?”

“I didn’t with Alpha.”

“He might show up again...especially with your  _ curiosity _ running amok.”

“Then you’ll be leaving quickly.” She made sure he was looking at her. “And you won’t be staying the night regardless of who’s in control.”

He gave her a small smile. “You say that  _ now _ .”

“Come on, Casanova.”

He raised his eyebrows, but realized it was a cultural reference he was missing and chose to ignore her.

They were mostly silent on the boat ride back to the island and then the drive up to the house. Adaar left her to clean himself up and Nes went to the kitchen, finding herself hungry again.

She got over things too quickly.

She really should just send him home. He was still so unpredictable, but this was  _ her _ fault. She wanted to help him, though she couldn’t even help herself. She had killed how many people in the years following her melding with Sekhmet? Hundreds. More than the two had murdered together as The Butcher.

She went to the cabinet for a bottle with that realization and drank much more than she should have, dulling the small voice that told her this was dangerous when Adaar was there, when Alpha was there.

“You drink too much.” His voice didn’t really hold the judgment his words suggested as he stood watching her from the doorway.

“Well, it’s either that or Sekhmet. Everyone needs a coping mechanism.”

“So you just drink to dull the pain instead of pulling up Sekhmet to help?”

“Now. I didn’t the first few years.”

“And does it really help?”

She smiled. “The trick is to drink enough to lose consciousness.”

He raised an eyebrow and his face held some concern. She brought the bottle up to her lips again, but Adaar stepped forward and took it from her hand. “Perhaps you should go a bit slower for the evening.”

“Don’t you want me more...pliable?”

“No...I want you conscious and willing, not too drunk to know who I am.”

“High demands.”

He smirked. “Hardly.” He ran a hand across his face. “I’m sorry about the restaurant. I...I couldn’t deal with those memories.”

“I understand, Adaar. I don’t like it, but I understand.”

“So what do we do now?”

Nes smiled. “Have another drink?”

He laughed. “Don’t think for even a single moment that that won’t lead to things you said you weren’t ready for.”

“And I’ve already had too much to think that’s such a bad thing.” She moved her hands up his chest and around his neck.

“Don’t say that. You’ll hate me tomorrow.” He grabbed her arms to separate himself from her.

“Please. I’ll hate you regardless. Your  _ existence _ makes me hate you. The same way  _ my _ existence makes me hate myself.”

Alpha appeared for a moment at her assertion, but Adaar pushed him aside. “But you want me, too.”

Nes came toward him and put a hand on his chest again. “I really just want Ba’al, but you’re certainly close enough.”

Adaar’s jaw stiffened. “You’re a mean drunk, aren’t you?”

Nes shrugged and backed towards the kitchen again. “I’m mean sober, too.”

Alpha’s smirk took over Adaar’s face and he came toward her with a confident swagger. “Then maybe I should teach you some manners, my dear.”

Nes laughed. “What would you know about manners,  _ Alpha _ ?”

He put his face close to hers. “Enough to know that you shouldn’t be such a tease.” He kissed her hard, pushing her against the kitchen island. There wasn’t any resemblance to the way Adaar had kissed her.

Too much alcohol running through her blood meant Nes was shifting more fully into Sekhmet and  _ her _ memory on Alpha’s behavior was much crisper. She kissed him back, but also reached behind her to grab the knife off the cutting board she’d left out. As she brought it forward, though, Alpha grabbed her wrist and slammed it into the countertop, the force loosening her grip enough for the knife to clatter to the floor.

He clicked his tongue in a reprimand. “I don’t like you nearly as much when you’re holding a knife, darling.”

“You didn’t like my work on you?” She took her other hand and traced the lines on his chest she’d carved the first night.

Adaar’s fear broke through. “Don’t, Nes. He won’t stop.”

Alpha came back with a roar. “He’s right, you know. I won’t stop.” He gripped her wrist tighter and began to drag her through the house and up the stairs he came to. “There’s a bedroom up here, right?”

Nes tried to resist, but she barely even added to his struggle and her panic began to push through the fog she’d put herself in. How foolish could she have been?

“Adaar, please don’t do this. I’m sorry for what I said.”

“No, you’re not, but fortunately for you, your punishment will be quite enjoyable if you would just...stop...fighting.” He hit the side of her head hard as she strained against his grip. “Your dilemma is that Adaar wants this just as much as I do.”

“Then let Adaar be with me. I won’t fight  _ him _ .”

He paused for a moment, the internal battle playing out between the personalities.

“Nes…” His voice was quiet. “Please leave.” He looked at the hand that held her wrist and she could see the effort it took to release her.

Nes didn’t hesitate. The moment he let go of her, she tapped her bracelet and got the hell away, collapsing to her knees once safe on her ship. She wasn’t sure how much time went by, but it took her quite a long time to calm down and start breathing normally again. She’d been so intensely stupid putting herself at risk like that.

Adaar was not Elliot.

They may have been similar at some point, but not anymore. Adaar was far too distorted by Alpha’s influence and by Ba’al’s influence before that. She didn’t see how the two of them could ever have anything close to a healthy relationship. Alpha and Sekhmet would always be there to jump in with every argument, every fight, every rough conversation.

They would destroy one another.


	13. Chapter 13

When she went back to the island, Adaar was gone, but he had left a note next to her phone apologizing. There were several texts as well, asking if she’d meet him, with assurances that it would be somewhere public.

Nes made a pot of coffee instead of reaching for the liquor cabinet and responded to his messages with a suggestion of the restaurant they’d been at before.

He was sitting at the same table with just water in front of him, but gave her a blank stare as she approached.

“How are you, Nes?”

“Unharmed. You?”

“Very ashamed.”

“I was stupid, Adaar. I brought Alpha out.”

“No...you didn’t. I rely on him far too heavily whenever things are even a tiny bit difficult. I’m so rarely myself.”

“I don’t think this will ever work.”

He raised his eyes to hers and his mouth opened to object, but he closed it again and looked down at the table. “No. It probably won’t.”

“Sekhmet and Alpha will always be there, ready to slit each other’s throats. And probably over something stupid like which curtains to hang or where to go out for dinner.” She smiled at her joke, even knowing it wasn’t really much of a stretch from the truth and he gave her a small smile in return.

“We’re the same, though. We can accept each other as we are.”

“Which is likely part of the problem. Adaar, with you...I would stay just like this. I don’t  _ want _ to stay like this. I don’t want to spend every waking moment fighting Sekhmet for control...but that’s what I have to do around you.”

“And you don’t around him, this man in Atlantis?”

“I do, but...it’s easier. Just being around him pushes Sekhmet down.”

“And I bring her up.”

Nes nodded. “And I bring up Alpha.”

He seemed to try to hold him back, but Alpha’s smirk still slipped through his efforts. “Yes, you do. It wasn’t very nice of you two to trick me last night.” His hand took hold of hers. “We could have had so much fun.”

Adaar lowered his head and shook it gently. “I’m sorry, Nes.”

“I know. Sekhmet still shows up quite a lot for me, too, but I’m much better at reining her in now. You just have to keep working on it.”

“So now what? We just go our separate ways?”

“No. We can still help each other, still work together against Ba’al.” She squeezed his hand. “If you want. Or I can help you disappear, Adaar, escape.”

“No. Not yet anyway.” He released her hand. “I think we should start killing them, the clones.”

“Can you do that? Can you kill their hosts, too?”

Adaar thought for a few moments and sipped his water. “They’ll be grateful...I would have been if you’d killed Alpha.” He rubbed his eyes. “I was actually hoping that’s what you were planning when you tortured us.”

“I’m sorry, Adaar.”

He waved away her apology. “Don’t be.” He straightened and his face went hard. “We can take out Gamma and Epsilon fairly easily. Kappa and Theta...I think Athena is working for them, as well, for Kappa at least. They’ll use her while they can.”

“If Epsilon is in Seattle, I can deal with him like I did Delta. Gamma...the two of us should be able to lure him somewhere.”

“Can I make a request?”

“Of course.”

“Don’t torture them.”

Nes’ jaw tightened and her eyes darkened. “You’ve really taken away all the fun. I barely even enjoyed Delta.” She closed her eyes and steadied herself. “Fine. I’ll deal with them quickly.”

He eyed her skeptically, likely knowing the promise wasn’t one she could really make for either herself or Sekhmet, but he finally shrugged. There was nothing more he could do unless he did it himself and Nes knew he wasn’t keen on that idea. She wasn’t even sure he’d be able to go through with it and really...saving him from having to murder himself was the least she could do for him.

“Alright, I’ll take care of Epsilon this week and then we can figure out what to do with Gamma. Depending on the ramifications from their deaths, we’ll make a plan on the next steps.”

“You really don’t have much of a conscience left, do you?”

“Why should I feel guilty about killing  _ them _ ?”

Adaar’s jaw flinched, but he had no answer for her.

She took a sip of her drink and watched him. “I could always force them to be She’kets, as well, if you think that’s a better fate.”

“No!” he said quickly and firmly, surprising even himself. “Plus, it would take far too long.”

“Alright then.” Nes gave him a big smile. She loved having a plan, something to do, action to take.

He didn’t return her smile. “And we should probably avoid one another except when absolutely necessary.”

Nes’ smile faded and she nodded. Why did that make her so sad? She looked up at him, seeing Adaar, remembering how  _ he _ had kissed her, and wished there was a way for him to be there without Alpha prowling behind his eyes. She leaned toward him, but he shifted back.

“Don’t, Nes.”

“I just want to kiss  _ you _ once more. I don’t want to end with Alpha’s kiss.”

He looked over her face for a few moments before moving toward her again and bringing a hand up to her face. Adaar kissed her, though not quite as gently as before, there being too much yearning for things to be different for them. He finally pulled back, kissing her lightly once more before releasing her completely.

“We should have ended with Sekhmet and Alpha,” he said with sadness.

Nes sat back, swallowing hard as she tried to slow her heart. “I’m sure they’ll make an appearance before too long.”

He nodded in agreement before turning to catch a waiter to bring something stronger than water.

“Are you good getting back to DC on your own?” She wanted to leave before he started drinking.

“Yes. I can beam up to our al’kesh.”

“I’ll be in touch then.”

He nodded and she stood, not bothering to say a goodbye, just leaving without looking back, needing a drink or two or five where it was safe.

*****

Nes didn’t stray too much from how she’d dealt with Delta. Just a different dress and fortunately no extra company to get rid of. She’d already had to hear complaints from that Jessica woman about being tired of Greek food. Nes had found it incredibly difficult to not simply slit her throat and throw her into the Mediterranean.

Heels on the floor again, though this clone reacted as though it were danger, knowing what had happened to Delta.

“Sekhmet!” First surprise then suspicion filled his face. “You’re supposed to be dead.”

“Yes...I’m afraid there was a bit of a miscommunication.”

“And does Ba’al know about this?”

Nes approached him with an extra swing her hips and watched his eyes shift to her body. “I’ll tell him soon, but once he knows...he’s likely to keep such a...close...eye...on me.”

Epsilon smirked with understanding. “And you’d like to...enjoy...your freedom a bit first.”

“Precisely.”

“Well, any way I can help, my dear.”

“I was hoping you’d say that.” Nes enjoyed his attention far longer than she should have, but then finally remembered what Ba’al had done to Adaar’s son and shifted herself into The Butcher.

It wasn’t until he was bloody and weak with fingers missing that she remembered her promise to Adaar and with a sigh of frustration plunged a knife into his heart, at least getting to take pleasure in the last flash of his eyes.

“I’m going to have so much fun killing all of you,” she whispered to herself as she dug out the locator beacon, severing his spine in the process. “No wonder none of you are removing them yourselves, though if you worked together with a sarcophagus handy…”

She chuckled to herself. Of course, it would only be the first one that would be revived if they took turns. That’s what she’d do, at least, just leave her partner in crime dead.

She chose to leave the shower covered in Epsilon’s blood, loving the look of the red splatters and puddles on the white tile, though she disposed of the body again and left the clean tracking beacon downstairs on the kitchen island just like last time. She stood staring at it for a long time, wanting so badly to leave some kind of clue, but she resisted the temptation, though just barely.

Nes beamed away and back to her island house where she slept so blissfully well. No dreams, no nightmares, no guilt, just her Sekhmet side at ease and content to breathe in the background. She hadn’t realized how long it’d been since she’d killed with such satisfaction. Her face twisted into a smile as she thought of the numerous clones.

She would be much better rested for quite a while.

*****

She texted a simple but cryptic message to Adaar letting him know it was done. She was glad he was busy enough with Farrow-Marshall and their other businesses that she wouldn’t see him in person immediately, afraid of how she’d behave with him in her current state.

They decided to let Epsilon’s death be discovered before moving onto Gamma. They told themselves it was for strategic reasons, but the truth they refused to voice aloud was that they wanted to toy with the clones, wanted them to be fearful, maybe even begin to suspect one another.

It was Athena who found the red and white shower Nes had left and she wished with everything in her that she’d been able to witness her reaction to just the sheer amount of blood. Adaar did say she looked particularly pale when he showed up at the Seattle penthouse, though his voice held quite a bit of disappointment and reprimand knowing what the murder scene meant as far as Nes holding to her promise of not torturing the clones.

“You said you wouldn’t, Nes,” he said at dinner with her at the oceanfront restaurant again.

“I forgot.”

“How could you  _ forget _ ?”

“I don’t know.” She looked at him with her own scolding smile. “How do you forget that you shouldn’t attack me?”

Alpha narrowed Adaar’s eyes and pursed his lips. “I just get overwhelmed by your presence, my dear.”

“Well then, you should understand how I could forget that I wasn’t supposed to...enjoy myself...with Epsilon.”

He smirked and Nes realized it was far too soon to be around him, to see the same lips she’d kissed, hear the same voice she’d forced to scream, look into the same eyes she’d watched fade. A tiny gasp filled her chest as she thought again of that night with Epsilon. Alpha was right there with his hands in her hair and his lips on hers, barely holding himself back with the public location.

An embarrassed waiter finally cleared his throat. Alpha gave him a glare that made Nes fear for the young man’s life, but they ordered, Nes still out of breath. She knew her house there wouldn’t be safe for the night. 

Adaar reappeared with a bit of shame, but Nes acted as though it had never happened and they spent the rest of the meal deciding how to approach things with Gamma.

Once their plans were made, Nes excused herself to the ladies’ room and then beamed directly out from there, not trusting herself or Adaar. She slept at her townhouse in London, sure that it was still unknown to Ba’al and the clones.

From Adaar’s information and Nes’ observations, Gamma would be easier than she’d anticipated. He’d had Epsilon buy homes in various cities so they had somewhere to bring women on the weekends and Nes only needed to find out his destination for the coming Friday night and make sure she ended up wherever he went to find his next conquest.

Adaar helped with reconnaissance, chatting up Gamma during the week, stating that he wanted to use one of the homes as well, a habit of Alpha’s he’d kept, though he’d left it vague whether or not he used it for the same purposes as Gamma or not. Nes felt intense jealousy with that revelation, but there was nothing to be done about it except take out her frustrations on Gamma later.

Adaar texted her the Manhattan address and, as it wasn’t all that far from one of her apartments, she had her home set up and beamed herself there before setting out for the clones’ home. Gamma was easy to follow, lacking far too much suspicion for one who’d just had one of his brothers murdered, and Nes gave him only a few minutes at the bar he’d decided on, not wanting to give other women a chance to catch his eye.

She used her wardrobe, a wig, and skills to hide right in front of him, but, predictably, he was drawn to the short skirt and long legs, making advances almost immediately with almost no effort from her to show any interest. Sekhmet’s prowl felt so good to her muscles and she could barely contain her excitement over how the evening was going to progress. Fortunately, Gamma believed her enthusiasm was for other activities or he never would have brought her home.

He was a gentleman when they arrived, offering her a drink and showing her the more public rooms of the penthouse with its modern decor. She was especially taken with the two story living room and the way their voices echoed. Nes decided right then that she would kill him there where she could be surrounded by his screams and let them fill her up.

Once she’d found the right location, she didn’t want to wait. She pushed Gamma down onto the sofa and climbed on top of him. He was a willing participant in every sense, but Nes wanted him to see the truth, if only for a few moments, and shook off the mannerisms she’d been using, letting Sekhmet’s smirk change her face until he recognized the woman he was with.

“Sekhmet!” His breathing was already rapid, but now it picked up even more. “What’s going on?”

“Kappa and Theta tried to kill me...so I thought I’d come back and kill them instead.”

“So why are you here with me? Not that I mind.” He winked, letting his hands spread out across her back, and Nes noted that he was distinctly unsurprised by the news of the other clones’ actions.

“I wanted to have a little fun before telling Ba’al.” She leaned down to his ear. “He’ll keep such a close eye on me once he knows I’m alive.”

“I’m more than happy to help you have a little fun, my dear.”

“You shouldn’t have avoided me before.”

“I can see that now.”

Again, Nes had to work hard to dig up her knowledge of what he really was, kissing her with stolen lips, pulling her close with hands that belonged to another, giving pleasure and pain as it suited him and his purposes with little concern for any  _ lesser _ beings.

Once he was unconscious from the drug on her ring, though, she found a chair and some ties from the master closet and was glad he was awake soon after.

He fought against the restraints as he came to, just as Alpha had and she enjoyed the similarities between the two. As Gamma’s eyes focused on her, he shifted to surprised. “It was you. You killed Delta and Epsilon.”

Nes took a bow. “Guilty as charged.”

“Why?”

She shrugged. “Because I hate you. I want you all dead.”

“I’ve barely ever spoken to you. Why would you hate me?” His voice was so full of innocence and hurt.

“Please don’t be ridiculous. You’re just as much Ba’al as he is.”

“I never committed the atrocities he did. I’ve never hurt anyone.”

“You run The Trust, Gamma. Of course you’ve hurt people.”

“I hardly have a choice with Ba’al breathing down my neck, do I?

Nes shook her head at him.

“Don’t you believe people can change?”

“You’re not a person. You’re living in a stolen body.”

“There’s not enough of him left to care anymore.”

Nes smirked at him. “Is that so?”

“It’s been thousands of years, Sekhmet.”

“That’s interesting, because I found Adaarbal to be quite a good conversationalist.”

Gamma couldn’t stop an eyebrow from shooting up at the name.

“If you’re willing to kill yourself and leave him alive, I won’t torture you, Gamma.”

He smirked back with a chuckle. “Either way I die. I can at least take him with me. Deny you whatever it is that you want with him.”

“I don’t want anything with him. I just want you to kill yourself. I’ll enjoy that.”

“I’d say that I’d rather die, but that hardly makes sense in this particular context, does it?”

Nes laughed. “Not remotely.” She pulled a knife from her purse. “Well, if you’re not willing to free your host, then we should begin.”

The room provided everything she had hoped for and several times she closed her eyes to simply enjoy the screams as they swirled around and through and above.

“Did you forget again?”

Nes jumped and held out the knife towards the voice, Adaar standing there with barely contained rage.

She straightened with a smile. “No. I didn’t forget.”

“Then what are you doing?”

“I’m afraid I was unable to resist the acoustics of this room.” She winked. “You should try it.”

Alpha smiled at her. “I have...many times.”

Nes took a deep breath trying to keep the jealousy off her face, but she knew she was unsuccessful with Alpha’s look of triumph.

“Alpha...what’s going on?” Gamma could barely hold his head up to address the other clone.

“Shut up, Gamma.”

“You’re working with her?!” He found some strength as his anger filled him. “You’ve betrayed all of us.”

Adaar, not Alpha, came forward suddenly and wrapped his hand around Gamma’s throat. “Thousands of years...I think I’ve earned this revenge on all of you.”

Gamma choked and gasped. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m not Alpha, Gamma. I’m Adaarbal. I’m sorry your host won’t survive this, but I think I can safely say he’ll appreciate death over another moment trapped in his own body.”

“You can’t be the host.”

“I assure you, I am. And this is for my son, for Teres.” He kept squeezing as Gamma’s face began to discolor, gasping for air that could not make its way to his lungs. Adaar then let out a loud yell and snapped Gamma’s neck in one swift movement. He tipped the chair and began kicking the clone’s body, pummeling his fists into the face that mirrored his own, slipping quickly into a fury that damaged the goa’uld’s host far more than what Nes had done to him.

Nes gave him time to release some of his anger, but finally began to say his name in a loud, but gentle voice. Adaar collapsed to his knees and Nes came up behind him to put a hand on his shoulder, sobs shaking his body. She began to fear he was slipping into shock and knelt down to lift his chin to look at her.

“You need to leave, Adaar. I’ll clean things up here.”

He nodded, but didn’t move and Nes finally reached under his arms to pull him to standing and beamed them both up to her ship.

“Wait here and I’ll be right back,” she said to him, though she wasn’t sure he could even hear her at this point.

Nes beamed herself back down and dug out the locator beacon to leave on the kitchen island, gathered her things, and then beamed away with Gamma’s body.

Adaar was sitting against the wall, legs sprawled out in front of him, staring at the ground with a dead expression.

She ignored him for the time being, needing to finish dealing with the body, but once it was disposed of, she came over to the still silent Adaar and slid down the wall to sit next to him, pulling her skirt down as much as she could with a few curses.

“Are you okay?”

“I’ve never killed anyone before.”

That had never occurred to Nes and she thought back to the first time she’d killed. “You should have just let me do it.”

“I  _ enjoyed  _ it.”

Nes turned to look at him, shame covering his face. “I’m sorry, Adaar. I made you like this.”

“No. Alpha made me like this. Ba’al made me like this.”

Nes wasn’t sure what else to say so she turned the conversation to more practical matters. “You should get a shower and clean clothes before going back to any of the houses.”

He looked down at his clothes and hands, seeing the blood for the first time, and tried to wipe it off his hands, panic setting in as it wouldn’t come off.

“It’s too dry,” she said as she grasped his wrists. “The Spain house okay?”

He didn’t respond so she stood and went back over to guide the ship to the proper position before beaming Adaar down and following behind him. She wasn’t sure how safe it was to be alone with him there, but he clearly needed help to at least get moving again.

He was still sitting against a wall when she arrived, but didn’t fight her when she pulled him to standing. “Go take a shower and I’ll find some clothes for you and something to eat.”

“This feels a bit too familiar.”

She smiled, but he just walked away without any discernible expression and made his way up the stairs.

Damnit.

She found him clothes, laying them on the bed, and then used the tel’tak to just grab some food from her London townhouse since she was still covered in Gamma’s blood. She returned to Adaar wandering through the lower levels looking for her.

“Sorry. I just popped back to one of my houses for a few things.” She held up the bags in her hands. “Feel a bit better now?” She waited for a nod. “Food will help, too.”

He sat down at the kitchen table as she pulled items out and she could feel his eyes on her. They ate mostly in silence, only using the necessary words to pass this or that. Nes finally stood and grabbed plates and silverware to take to the sink, running the water and waiting for it to get hot enough to wash everything quickly before she left.

Adaar came up behind her and shifted her hair to the side so he could kiss her neck, letting his hands slide down her arms. She tried to move her hands, but he grasped her wrists and held them firm.

“Is that still you, Adaar?”

“Yes. It’s still me.” He let go of her wrists and gently turned her around so she could see it was still his eyes looking down at her. “Don’t leave me alone tonight, Nes.”

He brought his lips to hers and at first she felt it was just how Adaar had always kissed her, but soon Nes could tell something was different. Perhaps killing Gamma had changed him enough. Certainly murder altered your soul, even if it were for justifiable revenge, so she ignored the little voice of concern and brought her focus back outside of herself.

Adaar pulled back, but only to lean down and scoop her up, carrying her out of the kitchen and up the stairs, but as he set her down in the bedroom and resumed kissing her, his hands gently tugging on the zipper of her dress, he chuckled to himself.

“I think Alpha was wrong.”

“About what?”

“One time will definitely not be enough.”

He leaned down to kiss her neck, but his statement clicked the pieces into place. She realized what was different.

This was not Adaar, but Alpha wearing him as a mask.

She had told him that she wouldn’t fight Adaar and he was using it against her.

Sekhmet’s control was still strong from her time with Gamma, so her body didn’t give away her suspicions, but she knew she needed to act fast to get away or he would simply overpower her regardless of her willingness.

“Adaar…”

“Hm?”

“Do you mind if I grab a shower quick? I’m still covered in blood.”

He pulled back to look at her. “So you are.” He reached out to touch her hair, lifting a section that was caked red. “I could join you.”

She gave him a genuine smile. “Okay...give me five minutes?”

He nodded and released her and Nes could see the difference in his face now. He was Alpha just under the surface.

Nes retreated to the bathroom, turned on the shower, but then beamed away, finally allowing her fear and panic to take over now that she was safe.

That was it. She knew now that she’d never be able to trust Adaar. Every moment, she’d be wondering if it were really him or Alpha pretending. It was just as bad as the unease she felt when talking with a Tok’ra host. How could you ever know which one you were speaking with when the goa’uld were so adept at pretending?

She needed a reason to leave, to avoid him in every way. She didn’t trust herself any more than she trusted him.

The clones.

She could go after the ones offworld. Especially if she had access to the frequency of their locator beacons. She could pinpoint them easily then.

Nes directed her ship above New York again and checked the clones’ apartment. No life signs. Yet. It would be worth the risk. She beamed herself down and grabbed the device off the table, prying it apart to access the information she needed. She worked quickly, unsure if any alarm would signal to the others that it was being tampered with.

She thanked Sekhmet for her technical skills again, though she had added the knowledge of the Asgard beaming technology herself when she’d begun using her ship. Learning to set up her own jamming frequency and create beacons for her ship’s unique systems had required some dipping into top secret information at the SGC, but that would always be a necessary ethical compromise. One, she was afraid, she didn’t even hesitate to make.

Once she had the necessary data from the device, she beamed away again. She so wished she had an al’kesh for this task, but maybe she could acquire one along the way. Finally, she decided to call it a night and grabbed a shower and too much to drink back at the London townhouse.

Her phone was filled with texts from Adaar when she finally woke up. Well, Adaar or Alpha, who could tell anymore? After a few days acquiring the items she’d need for a longer time offworld, she agreed to meet him somewhere very public.

She spotted him immediately, sitting at a table at the outdoor cafe she’d suggested in Bologna, Italy, fitting in so effortlessly. She stood observing him for a few minutes and thought of the life they would have had together if she could trust him. Travel, wealth, fitting in wherever they went, the company she had missed when she’d traveled alone.

The mental picture was almost enough for her to brush aside her concerns about Alpha.

Almost.

“I see you had no trouble finding the place,” she said as she approached.

“No.”

He stood and pulled out the chair across from him and she sat down, a waiter coming over to take her order, Nes fitting in even better than Adaar with her knowledge of the language.

“You knew it wasn’t me.” Adaar’s voice was hollow and his eyes wouldn’t quite meet hers.

“Yes.”

“It won’t happen again, Nes.”

“Yes, it will. You know it will.” She clasped her hands together in frustration. “And I won’t wait for the morning I wake up next to a gloating Alpha. I’ll kill you if that happens.”

He leaned forward and put his face into his hands for a few moments before rubbing his eyes with his palms and looking up at her.

“I’m leaving, Adaar.”

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going to start working on the clones that are offworld.”

“And what about Kappa and Theta?”

“I’m sure you’re more than capable of dealing with them yourself.” She took a sip of her drink. “I’m assuming they’ve discovered the loss of Gamma.”

Adaar swallowed hard. “Yes. Kappa is moving over to Trust operations now.”

Nes groaned. “Just what we need.”

“Well, I assumed we would take him out next,” he said with disdain.

“ _ You _ still can.”

He nodded, but she suspected he wasn’t keen on the idea of watching himself die over and over. “I’ll do what I can. Neither one will be an easy target. How will you find the other clones?”

Nes gave him Sekhmet’s smile and he shook his head at her secrecy.

“I’m surprised you’re not going to go back to Atlantis.” The bitterness in his voice was piercing, but Nes didn’t react outwardly.

“Eventually, but I need to do this first.”

“And there’s nothing I can do to convince you to stay?”

She shook her head, not trusting her voice, and tried to give off an air of indifference.

“Would you at least admit that you wish it could be different?”

“Would that make you feel better?”

They stared at one another in silence, but Nes finally looked away first.

“No, I guess it wouldn’t.” He stood and threw some money on the table. “Good luck. Contact me when you’re back on Earth again.”

Nes still didn’t look up at him, but nodded to his request.

He left. He walked away, off to find a lonely spot to beam away unnoticed, but Nes sat there into the evening, watching the shadows get long before she finally paid and walked the narrow streets as the light turned yellow with the lamps coming to life.

She figured she’d be ready to go in another day or two and she needed to decide if she would let the SGC know what she was up to or not, or at the very least that she was leaving Earth for a while.

She finally settled on telling Sam about her departure, just in case something happened to her, but she’d leave off her reasons. Sam would try to talk her out of it or perhaps they’d want to go after the clones themselves. She wasn’t willing to share their deaths.

She was too much of a coward to leave any kind of message for Kevin.


	14. Chapter 14

Her efforts were slow, with the speed capabilities of her tel’tak nearly unbearable, so she started investigating the new power structures of the galaxy after the loss of the Goa’uld Empire. From what she gathered at the planets she visited, stopping into bars and chatting up the locals, the Lucian Alliance was the new power to be feared.

A group of criminals, essentially - mercenaries, thieves, smugglers - they’d taken control of enough ships and planets to make themselves rich and powerful, especially since they’d become the drug lords of the galaxy with their highly addictive kassa, a corn-like crop.

A man named Netan kept coming up and the repetition confirmed his leadership position to her. She wasn’t interested in aligning with them, though, just acquiring a ship, so she looked more closely into the territory she was currently in and found it was run by one of Netan’s Seconds, Anateo. He was considered fairly brutal, but Nes had skills that usually ensured good treatment, even by men like those involved in the Lucian Alliance.

“So where would I find this Anateo?”

“Depends why you’re looking for him, sweetheart,” the bartender gave her a wink, but his face shifted to a warning. “He’s not the kind of man you’ll want to find without a clear purpose.”

“I’m simply looking to acquire a ship and it seems the Lucian Alliance owns most of the ships in this area.”

“That they do, but they’re not for sale.”

Nes smiled Sekhmet’s smile. “Everything’s for sale for the right price. Our souls themselves can be bought if someone offers us something we can’t refuse.”

“I wouldn’t recommend selling your soul to Anateo.”

She laughed. “Fortunately for me, I don’t have a soul left to sell.”

The bartender chuckled as he poured her another drink. “So what were you offered that you couldn’t refuse?”

“Oh, I didn’t sell it. I destroyed it piece by piece. Murder does that.” She slammed the drink back. “So how do I find Anateo?”

“You’ve been asking about him enough that I expect he’ll find you.”

“And is it alright if he finds me here?”

He narrowed his eyes, but finally gave a curt nod. “I have a few rooms for rent upstairs if you need a place to stay.”

“Lovely. How long do you think he’ll take?”

“Word is he’s been in the area and I expect your description will get his attention.”

Nes smirked. “Beauty - a key that opens doors for saints and sinners alike.”

Fortunately for Anateo, he did not try her patience for too long. He arrived at the bar with a few men two days later.

Nes had paid a young boy to come find her as she walked through the village if the Second arrived. He came plunging through the crowd to grab her hand, dragging her back towards the bar as if his payment were dependent on the speed with which he pulled her through the streets.

Nes walked in and saw the group of men, immediately picking out the leader by how he carried himself.

He was fairly tall and lean with dark short hair, dark eyes that locked onto hers, and a scruffy beard that gave him a bit more authority than his youth would normally garner. She liked the look of him far too much and wished her plans included more torture and less bartering.

He approached her with both a swagger and a seductive smirk, not bothering to hide how his eyes ran up and down her body.

“You must be the stranger asking far too many questions.” His accent made him all the more appealing, reminding her somewhat of an Earth German.

“I am.” She held out her hand. “Asra Akash.”

He took her hand and brought it up to his lips, keeping his eyes on hers. “ **Anateo is my name** . You’re even more attractive than the descriptions I was given.”

“The majority of women  _ are _ more attractive in person. It’s so difficult to capture the way our mouths move when we talk, how our clothing hugs our curves, how our hips sway when we walk.”

Anateo raised his eyebrows and smiled. “Too true.”

Nes gestured to a table in the corner. “Care to join me for a drink?”

“I would love to.”

She walked past him and he placed his hand on the small of her back to guide her the handful of steps, preventing her from getting lost on the way, no doubt.

The bartender brought two drinks over with a quick look of concern at Nes, but she smiled in reassurance. It was sweet of him to worry about her.

“So you are looking to buy a ship.”

“Yes. And it seems you have cornered that particular market...amongst others.”

“Well, ships are a necessary part of our operations and we’re not too fond of competition, Asra.”

“I can assure you, my need of a ship will not interfere with the Lucian Alliance and its business.”

He looked her over again. “You’re someone’s whore, here to seduce me into selling you a ship. It won’t work, though I’m more than willing to let you attempt it anyway.” He leaned closer to her face. “Then you can go back to your employer and tell him that you tried, you tried all night, but were forced to leave empty handed...though it pained you to go.”

“I have a room upstairs.”

He gave her a broad smile. “I like a woman who doesn’t hesitate.”

Nes stood and Anateo waved his men off as he followed her up the narrow staircase and into her room. He wasn’t one to hesitate either, but he soon found himself lying on a bed with a knife to his throat.

“From what I can assess, my dear Anateo, you’re a rather unimportant Second on the outskirts of the Lucian Alliance territories, but you also have the most ability to expand, not being surrounded by your competition.”

“A rather keen observation for a newcomer.”

“It also seems apparent that you would do well to eliminate some of your closest Seconds, but you can hardly do it yourself without Netan objecting.” Nes sat up, moving the knife to his chest. “Of course, if you had someone who could take them out  _ for  _ you…”

“You’re an assassin.”

“And I am offering my services to  _ you _ first.”

“So you don’t want to buy a ship?”

“I expect a ship to be my payment. An al’kesh.”

He sat up suddenly, the knife tip digging in slightly making him wince. “An al’kesh!”

“With new territories, you’ll certainly be able to spare one.”

He propped himself up on his elbows. “And what if you’re captured?”

“I won’t be.”

“You’re very confident, but how do I know that’s paired with actual ability?”

Nes sighed in annoyance and brought the knife back up to his neck. “Well, if you don’t agree to my terms, I’ll just have to take  _ your _ head and try to trade it for a ship from one of your rivals.” She looked at the knife in her hand. “Of course, I’ll need to get out one of my bigger knives first. It’d take damn near forever to carve through you with this.”

He observed her for a few moments, trying to read her face, if she were bluffing, but finally gave a sadistic smile. “Peilac’s territories border mine and I think he will find you  _ quite _ enticing.”

“Good.” Nes climbed off him and the knife in her hand disappeared. “I expect everything you have on him by tomorrow. Once you hear of his death, I’ll expect payment of an al’kesh in optimum working condition. Should you try to cheat me, I’m afraid you will not enjoy my  _ lack of hesitation _ nearly as much as you expected to this evening.”

He swung his legs off the bed to approach her. “If you’re successful, I may want to employ your skills in the future as well.”

“We’ll see. I have other matters to attend to as well.”

“Which is why you need an al’kesh.”

“Precisely.”

He brought a hand to her waist. “You know, we  _ could  _ still enjoy tonight together.”

Nes smiled seductively before shifting her face suddenly into disgust. “I am no one’s whore, Anateo, least of all yours.”

“Too bad.” He leaned down to whisper in her ear. “But perhaps when you return we can...take pleasure in each other’s company then.”

“I doubt you would appreciate the way in which I take pleasure in company such as yours.” She turned and walked to the door, opening it and stepping to the side. “Good night, Anateo. I look forward to working with you.”

He gave her a look of frustration before moving towards the doorway. “And I, you. I will see you tomorrow with the information you’ve requested.”

Nes nodded and then shut the door firmly, breathing a sigh of relief at how easily that had gone.

Three days later she found herself in a bar on a planet this Peilac used as his base within his territories. She had changed her appearance enough to not link up with any descriptions of the woman asking about Anateo, but it was a big galaxy, and she doubted word of an insignificant woman even reached beyond that small village.

Peilac had quite the reputation with the women on his planets and his name was not spoken with anything but fear. The women working in the bar offered subtle warnings as she began to ask about the Second, but they likely knew his eyes and ears had already marked her as a conquest for their boss.

When a group of half a dozen men came pounding through the village streets, a muscular man with a black ponytail in their midst, Nes waved off the attempts of hands to hide her. Peilac’s cheek featured a rather impressive gash that twisted up his lip into a permanent sneer and Nes made a promise to make it a matching set on his face before she was done.

She had a feeling the women of his planets would aid and thank her if they knew her intent, though she was unsure if Anateo was really a better option for them.  _ She _ would certainly prefer Anateo, but she also tended to have a policy of ‘the more sadistic, the better,’ so her judgment was hardly to be trusted in these types of situations.

The Second was far too impressed with himself to question if she had ulterior motives and she suspected the women surrounding him had found the best way to deal with him was to give him what he demanded and be rewarded, rather than resisting and punished. A pathetic way to live your life, but not all women were quite as willing to slit a throat when it needed to be slit.

Personally, she had even more revulsion for the men who stood idly by while their women were tormented, but the Goa’uld had done an excellent job of disarming the civilian populations, leaving ample opportunity for men like those in the Lucian Alliance to terrorize whole planets with ease.

She would enjoy terrorizing them instead for a while.

While Peilac initially suggested the room she’d taken at a local inn, Nes found him easily swayed to a location with a bit more...space, and soon she was watching his eyes fade. She loathed the gag his mouth had required, impeding her ability to keep the promise she’d made, but after he was dead she added to his smile. She took his ponytail as her proof for Anateo and then simply beamed out of the well guarded complex he’d brought her to and up to her tel’tak.

With Asgard beaming technology still unavailable to everyone except the Tau’ri and Ba’al, Peilac’s murder and his killer vanishing into thin air would make a good story. Really, she could make quite a good living doing this and it would certainly not hurt the galaxy as a whole to slowly cause the Lucian Alliance to implode from suspicion running rampant amongst its leaders.

“You’ve returned quickly,” Anateo said as she opened the door of her room to him.

“Would you have preferred it took me more time?”

“I’m merely surprised, that’s all.”

“You shouldn’t be. I’m assuming word has reached you of Peilac’s murder.”

“Yes and I’ve already sent ships to claim his territories, but how do I know it was you?”

Nes reached into her bag and tossed the black ponytail at the Second. 

He held it up with a loud laugh. “And will it tie back to me at all?”

“I think it’s more likely to tie back to the women who were tired of filling his bed. I should have offered them my services and collected twice.” She winked and his face showed the clear shift in his thoughts. “I’ll be wanting my al’kesh now.”

Anateo fingered the hair in his hand again. “Of course. You’ve proven yourself very valuable. I wouldn’t mind using your talents again, though not right away. I’ll need time to establish myself on Peilac’s former planets.”

“I could return at some point, see which Second you would like to eliminate next.”

He took a few steps closer to her. “And how will you occupy yourself in the meantime?”

“I have some personal business to attend to.”

“Well then, perhaps we should celebrate our success before you leave.” He closed the gap between them, but Nes held her ground and his gaze. “We’ve made such a good team, I can only imagine what excellent partners we would be in other activities as well.”

Nes rolled her eyes. “I think it best we keep this a strictly business relationship, Anateo.”

“I don’t agree, but since I’d prefer you not kill me, I suppose I don’t have much choice.”

“Wise decision.”

******

Anateo was fortunately true to his word and her al’kesh was ready to go promptly. He’d encountered little resistance in gaining the unattended planets, though Netan did voice some concern at how quickly Anateo had been there to fill the void. He played it off as pure luck, but he would certainly need to wait at least several weeks before his next takeover.

Nes, on the other hand, had plenty of work to do with moving the Asgard beaming technology over to her new ship as well as finding a spot to hide her tel’tak while she was away. She didn’t want to get rid of it just yet.

It took a few days to make the modifications, but luckily, the additional advancements had been installed over top of the original systems, so it was fairly transferrable with Nes only throwing a dozen or so tantrums as she tried to sort it out.

Once done, Nes programmed in the frequency of the clone tracking beacons and sat back with a satisfied smile as all the little dots appeared on the screen. It faded as the targets to be eliminated kept multiplying in front of her and she slumped in the pilot’s chair overwhelmed. It could take a lifetime to kill that many goa’uld, each with his own security, his own schemes, his own strength. Where should she even  _ start _ ?

Nes got up to walk through the ship, her mind not directing, but her feet instead, and they automatically took her straight to the stash of various liquors she’d bought up from the bartender before her departure. Adaar was right. She drank too much, but she knew it was this or beaming down to torture Anateo for the night.

Once sober again the next day, her resolve was strengthened and, cloaked, she approached the signal of the first clone, finding a ha’tak on the surface of an otherwise empty planet. Scans indicated numerous troops and Nes was unsure how to approach the situation. A few hours of observations led her to abandon this clone as her first target.

Killing the clones on Earth was so much easier in many ways.

A day’s travel brought her to the next signal, and she was surprised to find this clone with only a handful of jaffa and an al’kesh, investigating what appeared to be some ruins. Initially Nes thought about just beaming the clone on board, but then she’d have the jaffa running back to the others with a story of how their charge had been beamed away by an unseen ship. The beacon frequencies would be altered quicker than she’d be able to react, eliminating her advantage.

That meant a bit more risk. She still opted to beam the clone up, but from down near the surface instead. Once he was on board in the cargo hold, she made a bombing run across the area. There were no survivors left on the ground and she stayed in orbit so his beacon was where it was expected to be - she had no idea how closely Ba’al watched the clones’ movements. When she opened the door to the cargo hold, he was waiting calmly, foolishly thinking she was friend and not foe since he’d clearly been transported up by someone who had the correct frequency to his tracker.

“They said you were dead, Sekhmet,” he said as he came to, testing the strength of his restraints as the grogginess wore off.

“This conversation is already getting old. Let’s do a quick version. Yes, I’m alive. Yes, I’m going to kill you. No, nothing you say will change my mind.” She smiled and pulled out a knife. “There. Now we can get to the fun bits.”

As she dug out the beacon after he was dead and transported it down to the surface, she had to wonder if killing Ba’al would really ever get old. A small voice suggested it might already be heading that direction, but she ignored it and got rid of his body and cleaned up the cargo hold and then herself. She needed to get supplies, but then there was another clone a two day journey from her current location and she set out as soon as she could, not knowing how long he’d stay there.

This one was in a palace surrounded by a village and while it took more ingenuity and disguise to infiltrate the compound as a servant, it still was far too easy for her to find herself alone with a Ba’al who enjoyed the slave girls and was curious about the newest addition.

She had planned to enjoy his advances for a while first, but she grew bored quickly, and while she tried at least some initial torture, he kept trying to talk and she cut out his tongue in a moment of disgust at her lack of enjoyment. After that, she stabbed him in the stomach and let him bleed out slowly while she sat listlessly in a chair, throwing knives at him from across the room.

Pathetic.

She was pathetic.

She went through the same routine as with all of them and then disappeared again, this time turning the ship back towards Anateo, who had become the source of any interesting tasks for the moment.

Back and forth she went for a while, killing a few clones, killing a Lucian Alliance Second, and growing more and more agitated until one night finding herself even tempted by Anateo’s advances. It was at that moment where she knew she was drowning and needed to escape, but the next day was filled with news of an Ori invasion and the loss of several Alliance ships.

Netan had agreed to help the Tau’ri attempt to thwart the Ori’s first ships’ arrival through a newly formed supergate. They were all unsuccessful and Nes sought out information regarding any losses to the Tau’ri specifically, relieved by the agitation of Anateo that SG-1 had survived yet again.

“SG-1 and the Tau’ri  **have caused us more grief than any other adversary** . Netan should do something about them.”

“Perhaps he fears their wrath. Even the Goa’uld have bowed to their power.”

“Netan is weak.”

Nes had no plans to stay for much longer, but she could at least stir up some discord before her departure. “You would be a worthy challenger to his position, Anateo.”

“My territories have expanded considerably with your assistance.”

Her jaw tightened, but she kept her disgust in control.  _ Assistance _ . He would still be an absolute nobody without her doing all the work of eliminating anyone he needed. Still, he was not without talents and had claimed more from the dead Seconds than any of the others who also saw the opportunities.

Netan had begun to grow suspicious, though, and Nes suggested taking out a leader far from his own territories, throw blame to some other rival. He agreed, and she set out across their claimed space of the galaxy to eliminate a man who had made his wealth initially in the slave trade that had existed under goa’uld rule. He’d then continued in that field when the Alliance took over - the rich still preferring to own their servants and lovers.

He was easily killed, though she took little pleasure in it with his crass mannerisms and the lecherous way he looked at her. She suspected it was both his own carnal desire as well as a keen knowledge of how much her body would fetch on the slave market. Both thought patterns meant she took his eyes first, just to keep him from taking any pleasure in watching her, and then killed him far quicker than was usual for her.

Her reputation was spreading by this point and it felt similar to her days as The Butcher - the fear, the gossip - though a new addition was the silent warmth of pride she felt as she eavesdropped on conversations at bars, voices filled with terror of her methods, but also gratefulness for her actions.

It refreshed her in a way that surprised her, a way that she’d forgotten about when she was consumed with her personal vendetta against Ba’al. Who would have thought The Butcher would enjoy helping people? Nes spent the next day smiling, feeling a weight of guilt start to lift. She was still a monster, of course, but using those skills on other monsters made it seem better, an act of service.

Making her way back to Anateo destroyed any happiness she had found, though. Planet after planet were either devastated or overrun by vast armies of the Ori. It might be time to cut her losses in this sector and head out on her own. From what she heard, no one stood against the Ori and its new leader, a young woman called the Orici, not even the Tau’ri. Anateo would simply have to make do without her.

Suddenly, she wanted to go home.

Her path would take her across a few clones, though, so she opted to take them out if she could on her way. The first one was done with ease, barely taking two days for her to accomplish the task, but when she arrived at the next location, the two signals disappeared in quick succession.

She’d missed them. Damn.

She made her way back to her ship in annoyance, but then noted with fear that the beacons were all congregating back on Earth.

Nothing about that scenario could be good.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Episode 10.04 “Insiders”

Nes pushed her hyperdrive to the brink to get back to Earth as quickly as possible, unsure if she should be relieved or horrified that the signals were originating from within the SGC. She debated for a moment on trying to find Adaar first, but that would take time she might not have.

She couldn’t risk beaming into her Colorado Springs house with the clones potentially still keeping an eye on it, so instead she ended up in some back alley and just walked to Cheyenne Mountain. She noticed the strange looks from the guards at the exact moment that she remembered she was still dressed in her offworld attire.

There she was trying to access a top secret facility dressed in full leather - pants, jacket, and boots - in various shades of brown and tan, a dozen or so knives in various holsters, a gun on her thigh, and looking every ounce The Butcher with a complete lack of disguise.

In a few breaths she had guns from every direction trained on her and she held up her hands in surrender, a sheepish grin on her face.

“Forgot where I was, boys. Just tell Colonel Carter I’m here, would you?”

“We’ll need to remove your weapons before escorting you inside, ma’am.” said the guard closest to her.

Nes couldn’t resist giving him a wink. “If you can find them all, you absolutely can remove them.”

She looked up at a group of men in the background and spotted a familiar face, her smile widening as his eyes met hers and he began to approach the commotion.

“Nes, what the hell are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be dead?”

“Several times over, actually, but you know me, Ronnie.”

“Do I ever.”

“Do you know this woman, Harris?” the guard turned around to address him.

“Yeah, Hardesty, I know her. And I’d tell you she’s harmless, but that’d be a bold faced lie.”

Nes kept her hands up but shifted her hips with a smile in confirmation.

Ronnie let his eyes take her in as he got a bit closer. “You look...well, you look damn hot, to be perfectly honest, but what’s with the getup?”

“Offworld.”

He raised his eyebrows. “That’s what you wear offworld?”

“Wishing you’d come with me when I asked?”

“Would I have survived?”

Nes shrugged. “No reward without risk, Ronnie.” She gave him a stern look. “I’m hoping that the relaxed atmosphere means the base hasn’t been taken over by your current guests.”

Ronnie narrowed his eyes. “What do you know?”

“That each new addition is more redundant than the last.”

They were on the same page now and he nodded. “Get the general or someone from SG-1 on the phone, Hardesty. Tell them Nesert Saeda is here and knows who we’re holding downstairs.”

“Thank you. Ya know, this would go so much smoother every time if they’d just put a note in the orientation about me showing up every now and then.” She moved her hands like they were displaying text. “If a woman who resembles The Butcher appears, just call SG-1.”

“Except you don’t just  _ resemble _ her.”

“Well, that’s classified now, isn’t it?”

Ronnie crossed his arms and cocked his head to the side. “Are you going to hurt any of these guys if they try to take your weapons?”

“Of course not, but wouldn’t you prefer to do it?”

What was it about Ronnie Harris that always made her like this around him?

“Hardesty, you want me to do it? I don’t think she’ll hurt me...again.”

Nes laughed, but nodded. “I’m not interested in the time waste of hurting you. Maybe later.”

Nes put her hands on her head as he approached her, his smirk fading to genuine caution as he got close and slowly began taking weapons out of holsters and handing them to a waiting airman.

“How’ve you been, Ronnie?” She kept her voice casual. “It’s been a while.”

“It has. I’m good. And you?”

“Oh, ya know. You working out of the SGC now?”

“Yeah, got added to SG-14 a few months back.” He pulled two more knives from her boots. “Nes, how many knives does one person need?”

“Exactly eight more once you take my jacket off.”

“Alright, nice and slow.” She extended her arms and Ronnie pulled her jacket off, revealing the holsters along her sides and back. “Any more, Nes?”

“I don’t think so.” It was a lie and Ronnie probably even knew it, but there was no way she was going into a facility filled with Ba’al clones completely unarmed.

The guards escorted her inside then and Colonel Carter was just coming out of the elevator.

“I’ll take her from here. Come on, Nes.”

Nes turned around. “Good to see you, Ronnie.”

He smirked at her. “You, too. See you around.”

“We’ll see,” Nes said with a shrug, but then her face grew serious and she locked eyes with him. “And Ronnie?” She took a quick breath. “Thanks.”

He gave her a brief nod and smile. It was enough.

Nes followed Sam into the elevator, resuming her playful act with a quick wave to the guards as the doors closed.

“I thought you were trying to lay low,” Sam began, “not let Ba’al know you’re alive.”

“Yes, but when I saw all the clones were here, well...I got nervous.”

“How’d you know they were here, Nes?” Carter said with crossed arms. When Nes didn’t answer, Sam filled in the blanks for her. “You’ve been tracking them. That’s what you were doing offworld.”

“It seemed like the perfect use of my time.”

“And you didn’t think we could help?”

“You’ll understand if I didn’t want to share.”

“No, Nes. I  _ don’t _ understand that.”

“So what’s going on?”

“Ba’al, or one of his clones - we don’t know - flew an al’kesh towards Cheyenne Mountain, knowing he’d be captured. He claims to have information to help us find a weapon against the Ori, but he needs the Ancient database of Stargate addresses  _ and _ he wants us to eliminate the clones first.”

“What?”

“The al’kesh let us track them.”

“And you brought them all here.”

“They’re all claiming to be the real Ba’al. All claiming to have the information we want.”

“Of course.” Nes ran her hand through her hair in agitation. “I can tell if any of them are the real Ba’al.” She doubted they still had their identifying tattoos, but she’d still be able to tell by their reactions and words.

“He thinks you’re dead, Nes.”

“Precisely. If he’s the real Ba’al, he’ll react very differently than any of the clones.” Or two very specific clones that she suspected were the real culprits here.

“You sure?”

“He’s going to find out eventually. I can’t just stay in hiding for the rest of my life.”

“He’ll kill you if you gets his hands on you.”

“Not necessarily. I can blame the clones pretty easily.”

“But you’ll have to go back to him.”

“Yeah, there’s that. It’s not the worst fate, though.”

“You sure about that?”

“No. I’m not, but let’s just focus on the immediate problem first.”

Sam nodded, but her face still showed her concern.

When they arrived at General Landry’s office, they were told he was talking with Agent Barrett. The NID wanted to get their hands on at least one of the clones to question about Trust operations here on Earth, which to Nes seemed pointless. She supposed they had to at least try, though.

“Are you okay waiting here, Nes? I’ve only got a small window to grab lunch.”

“Yeah, go ahead. I’ll be fine.”

Nes waited in the hall, but it wasn’t long before Agent Barrett came out, a scowl on his face that was clearly intended to be unseen. When his eyes met hers, they went wide with surprise and, Nes thought, a moment of disgust.

“Miss Saeda…” He looked at her very out of place outfit. “...I’d heard you were dead.”

“Yes. I’m sorry for the deception.”

Something about the way he looked at her unnerved her, but it only appeared in flashes, tiny moments, too short of windows for her to make any true assessment of what she was seeing.

“Well, I’m glad to hear you’re okay.” He began to walk past her. “Hey, I’d love to talk with you later about your time working with The Trust. You could offer us some great insights and knowledge.”

“Yeah, I can see what I can do.”

Agent Barrett gave her a quick nod and walked off, Nes letting her eyes follow him as she thought. She knew that eventually the NID would want to know what she knew, but she’d done her best not to get into bed with them. The last thing she needed was another government entity trying to tell her what to do.

She knocked gently on the general’s door and he called for her to enter.

“Nes, so you knew about our guests.”

“I’ve been tracking them myself, sir, and when I saw they were all gathering here…”

“You worried about us?”

“Yes.”

“So...tracking them. For what purpose?”

“I think you can guess.”

“Have you taken out quite a few?”

Nes smirked. “Do you want a headcount?”

The general shrugged. “Just a rough estimate would be nice.”

“Three on Earth, eleven offworld.”

He sighed. “Ba’al has certainly been busy.”

“General, I can tell you if you have the real one. I mean, in my mind, there’s no chance in hell that he’s really here, but I can talk with them and see how they react.”

“You think you’ll be able to tell?”

Nes closed her eyes for a moment and nodded. “I’ll be able to tell.”

“You don’t have to do this, you know. We can try to sort it out on our own.”

“They’re up to something. We can’t just wait around. They might tell me what their plan is.”

“If you’re sure.”

Nes nodded again.

He made a call to have an airman escort her to the first Ba’al in an interrogation room and Nes had to work hard to quiet her fear and pull Sekhmet back into power. By the time she was outside the door, even the real Ba’al wouldn’t be able to see anyone but his future queen.

The door slid open and Nes knew immediately it wasn’t Ba’al. The clone’s eyes went from surprise to anger, before he realized his mistake and gave her a charming smile with a look of relief.

“Sekhmet...you’re not dead.” He stood, taking her in and approaching with a hand held out to her.

Nes extended her own hand, noting the number one on his jumpsuit, and let him pull her to his side. “And you’re not Ba’al,” she said quietly.

He leaned his mouth down to her ear. “Close enough.” His arms wrapped around her waist and he kissed her firmly.

Nes pulled back just far enough to speak. “Kappa?”

He gave her a quick wink and brought a hand up to her cheek. “You’ve always been so insightful, my dear.”

Why hadn’t Adaar dealt with him and Theta? What had he been  _ doing _ while she’d had time to take out so many clones offworld?

Kappa kissed her again, deeper, letting his hand move into her hair. “Well, see? Now I’m rather glad we didn’t succeed. I can see why Alpha and Beta were willing to risk so much.” He leaned down to let his lips trail across her neck. “You belong to us, Sekhmet.”

“Then take me with you,” she whispered.

Kappa straightened and raised an eyebrow. “We’re a bit trapped right now.”

Nes narrowed her eyes at him and kept her voice only barely audible. “You have a plan, though. You may not be Ba’al, but you’re still as brilliant as he is.”

When in doubt, flattery was always a good option.

Kappa trailed a finger down her jaw. “Except I don’t trust you, Sekhmet.”

“The feeling is mutual, darling.”

The door behind them slid open and Nes was surprised to see Agent Barrett walk in.

“Nes, what are you doing here?”

“She was just saying hello.”

“I’ll leave you to your questioning,” Nes said to the agent, but Kappa took hold of her arm.

“I think you should stay,  _ Nes _ . Don’t you agree, Agent Barrett?”

Nes was surprised that the agent simply nodded, looking distinctly distressed, and Nes could see the tiny moments in his eyes stretch out to fill them completely.

He’d been brainwashed.

Barrett glared at the two of them then and approached Kappa with a physical fury that didn’t reach his face. It was watching a puppet do as commanded and Nes barely kept herself from flinching away as she remembered her own time being directed by a powerful master.

Kappa pushed Nes to the side as the two men began to struggle, the agent losing his gun to the goa’uld, who then hit him hard sending him sprawling to the ground. The guard came in with the commotion, but Kappa shot him quickly and Nes could tell immediately that he wouldn’t survive, nausea sweeping through her.

Kappa grabbed her wrist with a smile, pulling her attention from the murdered man on the ground.

“Follow me and stay close. We wouldn’t want you to get shot.”

She was still confused. There was no way the clones would be able to get out of the SGC through the Stargate or moving to the surface. Kappa must have some other plan in place.

He took the guard’s gun and moved quickly to where the closest clone was being held, killing that guard as well and freeing who she guessed was Theta, with the look of hate he gave her. What had Ba’al done to punish him?

“Sekhmet! What a pleasant surprise,” he said with a smirk, but there was a deep anger running through his words. “This little trip is proving to be even more informative than expected.”

They moved quickly from there, expanding their ranks with each freed clone, and Nes shaking off Kappa’s grip as her shock wore off, resuming Sekhmet’s confident manner. She began to treat the clones as her loyal subjects, as though she directed their actions, much to Kappa and Theta’s annoyance.

They weren’t killing everyone, but rounding them up, likely wanting as many hostages as possible, but Nes was grateful that it at least bought her time to figure out a plan of some sort. Once she figured out  _ their _ plan, of course.

They made their way through the level and Nes heard some movement ahead of them in the next corridor. When they came around the corner, Sam, Agent Barrett, and an SF were lying on the ground.

“ **Put them with others,** ” Kappa said with a smirk.

From there, their little group moved to a storage room that held a computer terminal while the other clones patrolled.

“I don’t suppose you have access to their systems, Sekhmet.”

“I’m afraid not. I’ve been away.”

“Offworld by your attire, I’d say. It’s interesting that we’ve lost so many clones since your supposed death.”

“Really?” she said with complete innocence. “How unfortunate.”

He turned to Theta. “Go get Colonel Carter and bring her here.”

“I highly doubt she’ll help you, Kappa,” Nes said with a smile as she perched herself on the desk.

“I can be quite persuasive, my dear.” He came to stand in front of her and put a finger under her chin to lift her face to him. “Though I would appreciate your help as well.”

“I would prefer to watch you work, Kappa.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” He moved around the desk to sit at the computer, but the door opened then, prompting the other three clones to raise their various weapons. It was only Theta, though, guiding a distressed Carter, her hands bound behind her back.

“ **Bring her,** ” Kappa said as he stood and Theta put his gun down long enough to free her wrists before gently pushing Sam further into the room and directing her to sit at the desk.

Nes caught her gaze, but didn’t dare risk any kind of signal with Theta able to see her face, so she finally stood and moved to the other side of the room. This looked very bad, though. She looked, as Jack used to say, like a damned traitor.

Kappa crossed his arms. “ **The access code...please.** ”

“ **You're trying to download the list of planets from the Ancient database,** ” Sam replied.

Nes figured that much, but how to get out again! Did they find a way around the jamming frequency? That must be it, but surely Sam would have altered the frequency already to make sure that wasn’t a weakness.

“ **You want Merlin's weapon for yourselves.** ”

“ **A weapon capable of destroying not only the Ori, but the Ancients as well. I'd say that's a pretty valuable commodity.** ”

“ **I won't do it.** ”

Kappa leaned down close to Sam’s ear. “ **This would be an inappropriate time for heroics, Colonel.** ”

“ **Go ahead and kill me. It's only a matter of time before we regain control of this level. Good luck trying to figure out the code before then.** ”

“ **I would never dream of killing you. But I will kill the other hostages.** ” He straightened and directed his attention to a clone with a number seven. “ **You, start with Agent Barrett.** ”

Seven smirked and moved towards the door.

“ **Wait.** ” Sam sighed and glanced up at Nes. “ **I'll do it.** ”

Seven came sauntering back into the room, sliding a hand into his pocket to complete the image of ease and triumph.

Sam entered the access code and began transferring the address database to an external drive, likely figuring she could stall and they’d never be able to leave with the information anyway. But Nes knew Ba’al and the clones better than anyone and there was no way they would have let themselves be captured without a means of escape.

“And you’re working with them, Nes?”

She shrugged. “I suppose I am now, thanks to your Agent Barrett. He’s a bit more...volatile than the last time I saw him, isn’t he? Work stress?”

Sam tilted her head at the statement and Nes suspected she had noticed the change as well.

Nes raised her eyes from Sam to the clones and noted Theta looking her over. She knew it was foolish, but she couldn’t resist her own bit of triumph. “I heard Ba’al wasn’t very pleased with you when he heard of my death, Theta.”

His scowl deepened, but not before Nes caught a brief wave of pain on his face. “I’d be happy to show you  _ how  _ angry he was.”

“I’ll take your word for it, darling.”

“Theta really deserves a bit of revenge, Sekhmet,” Kappa said.

“I’d prefer restitution in a different form.” Theta’s eyes ran over her making his purpose clear and he took a few steps toward her. “Perhaps we can wait on the download somewhere else.”

“We could, but then you’ll be far too dead to join the others in whatever you’re planning.”

Kappa was losing patience. “ **Why is this taking so long?** ”

Sam shrugged. “ **It's a lot of information.** ”

“ **You did something to slow the download, didn't you?** ”

Nes had to smile at the colonel’s exaggerated innocence. “ **I don't know what you're talking about.** ”

Kappa scoffed. “ **It doesn't matter. You can't stop us, anyway.** ” He turned to the other clones. “ **Check the perimeter. They'll be coming soon.** ”

Theta gave her another look of disdain before they moved out, leaving only Kappa with the women, though Nes knew there were other clones just outside the door, hardly allowing them to overpower him despite their superior numbers within the room.

“It really  _ is _ too bad that we don’t have time for...other activities, ladies. I would have enjoyed both of you immensely.”

“Oh, Kappa,” Nes said, “don’t be absurd. You’re one to work in the shadows through manipulation. Displays of outright strength are hardly your forte.”

He gave Nes a sadistic smile. “And my methods have proven incredibly successful, wouldn’t you agree?”

“Depends how the rest of this day goes, I’d say.”

The computer beeped and Sam reached to disconnect the drive, maybe hoping to tamper with it a bit before handing it over, but Kappa quickly grabbed her wrist and took the drive out of her hand.

“ **I'll take that.** ”

“ **It won't do you any good,** ” Sam said. “ **They'll never let you off this base, even if you kill us all.** ”

Kappa brought the drive up and tapped it to his chin with a gloating smile. “ **Yes, that's what I wanted you to think. Otherwise, you never would've given me the code.** ”

Sam turned around to look up at him. “ **What are you talking about?** ”

“ **I knew they wouldn't negotiate.** ” He crouched down next to her. “ **Not even for you. Not with something like this at stake.** ” He held the drive up before straightening and placing it in his pocket, pulling a gun from the other side, making Sam flinch. “ **Fortunately, that's not the plan.** ”

Kappa walked over to Nes and let a finger trail down her arm. “Thank you, my dear.”

“For being by your side today?”

“Of course. I wish we could take you with us, but I’m sure we can...hunt you down later.” He kissed her gently. “Though I might encourage the others to keep your lies amongst us clones for now. Theta especially may want to spend some time with you before Ba’al never lets you out of his sight again.”

He turned away from her and started toward the door. “Colonel Carter, always a pleasure. Goodbye, ladies.”

Kappa pulled the door shut behind them and Nes could hear it lock, though that didn’t stop Sam from trying the handle anyway, pounding the door in frustration when it didn’t open.

“What are they planning, Nes? How can they even hope to escape?”

“I wish I knew. Kappa doesn’t trust me. With good reason, of course, but still…” She crossed her arms in annoyance. “They have to have figured out a way around your jamming signals.”

“I changed the frequency once we saw they had locator beacons.”

“I figured you’d say that. Kappa’s not stupid enough to not have a foolproof plan, though.”

“You’re really not working with them, right?”

“No. Especially not with Kappa and Theta. They’re the ones who tried to destroy Atlantis and kill me.”

“I should never have given him the code.”

“The others may still be able to stop them, Sam.”

And right on cue, they could hear gunfire outside the door and Sam got over to the computer to see if she could tap into anything to let them know what was going on.

The door flew open at that point and Colonel Mitchell was there, a weapon pointed in the room as he looked around, lowering it as he saw there were no clones.

“ **You okay?** ”

**“I'm fine.** ” Both women said together.

Sam joined Mitchell by the door. “ **What's happening?** ”

“ **We've got them on the run. It looks like they're retreating back to one of the isolation rooms.** ”

Sam’s face changed to worry. “ **Wait a minute. All of them together?** ”

“ **Yeah, why?** ”

Carter rushed past him at a jog.

“ **Sam?** ” Mitchell called as he caught Nes’ eye, the two of them hurrying after the colonel.

More gunfire was ahead of them, but then several clones fell to the ground as gas began to pour from the vents. Sam ran forward to stand in the interrogation room doorway, but Nes held back, unsure of how the poison would affect her as a She’ket, though she could just hear Sam’s voice trail back to her.

“ **Too late. It’s symbiote poison.** ”

“ **You’re the one who’s too late,** ” a Ba’al said.

A brief flash and then everyone lowered their weapons.

“What happened?” she hollered, still retreating backwards as inconspicuously as she could.

“They appear to have beamed away somehow,” Teal’c said.

Nes closed her eyes and leaned against the wall, sinking to the floor, no longer caring about the poison. What did it matter? She was already dead. Again.

Fortunately or not, she seemed to be unaffected by the gas, though she felt sick regardless.

“You okay, Nes?” Colonel Mitchell was crouched in front of her.

“Yep. Just imaging what kinds of horrors are ahead of me now.”

“Well, then you better get up instead of just waiting for them here.”

“Your pep talks aren’t improving, Cam.”

He stood and held out a hand. “Come on,” he said as he pulled her to standing.

Sam came over to them and Nes shook her head. “How’d they do it, Sam?”

“I’m guessing right now, but I think  **the locator beacons in close proximity combined to amplify the signal, enough to be picked up through our jamming screen.** ”

“Well, that explains why they allowed themselves to all be brought here,” Cam said.

And why Alpha wasn’t there as well, though Nes kept that thought to herself.

“How many dead so far?” Sam asked.

Cam took a deep breath. “At least four dead, more injured, but we still need to go through the levels completely.”

Nes’ face went hard. “You should have put bullets in all their heads.” She looked up to see a dead clone lying on the floor down the hall and pulled out one of her hidden knives, throwing it at the corpse to lodge in his eye.

While Carter reacted in horror, Mitchell crossed his arms and nodded.

“Nice throw.”

“If there’s one thing I have practice in these days, it’s putting knives into Ba’al’s clones.”

A woman with black hair pulled into two low buns came over to the small group. Nes could feel immediately how she differed from most people.

“You must be Vala,” Nes said, a glint of amusement in her eyes.

“And you must be Nes.”

“And you’re not dead.”

“Neither are you.”

They both smiled at one another and Mitchell groaned. “We’re all gonna regret you two meeting aren’t we?”

“Absolutely,” Nes said. “We’re going to start a club. Sam, you can join, too. All former hosts.”

Sam chuckled slightly. “Great.”

“Monthly meetings, matching t-shirts, secret handshake.”

“Well, I wouldn’t mind that girls’ weekend you’ve offered before,” Sam said as she ran her hand through her hair looking at the chaos around them.

“Sure. Might as well get some relaxing in before…” Nes let her voice trail off not wanting to voice the prospects for her future. Even if she went into hiding, Ba’al would find her. Or worse, Kappa and Theta.

“Well, this next weekend we’re already heading out to General O’Neill’s cabin with General Landry.” Cam cringed slightly. “Team bonding.”

“Sounds like fun,” Nes said dryly.

“Yeah, why don’t you come along?”

Cam was clearly desperate for  _ anything _ to add excitement to the weekend.

“You realize you just invited a serial killer to a cabin in the woods?”

He shrugged. “What could happen?”


	16. Chapter 16

It turned out the clones had killed six people at the SGC and she could feel the desperate desire for revenge from everyone. Agent Barrett recovered fairly quickly from the brainwashing. Nes suspected the clones didn’t do a particularly thorough job, just planting the instructions for their plan, not making him a willing participant loyal to Ba’al.

Once Barrett was back to work, Nes knew he would go after Ba’al, the clones, and The Trust with a vengeance and she began to fear for Adaar. She finally admitted to herself that she needed to speak with Adaar and possibly convince him to reveal his true nature to the NID, or at least just Agent Barrett.

Nes dug out the phone to text Adaar and that evening she got a reply. He agreed to meet her at the same cafe they’d met at before, but not until that weekend when it would be easier for him to sneak away.

This time, she arrived first and Adaar found her.

“How long have you been back?” he asked as he sat down across from her.

Nes looked up from the menu, her body immediately tensing with Adaar’s voice. “Just a few days.”

“Let me guess. You noticed all of them coming back to Earth.”

She turned her voice to ice. “Why didn’t you deal with Kappa and Theta, Adaar?”

His face went hard and his eyes narrowed at her. “There’s been no opportunity. The two of them have been mostly offworld.”

Nes breathed out slowly and glanced up at the sky for a few moments. “Was this Ba’al’s plan or Kappa’s?”

“Both. Ba’al came across references to Merlin’s weapon in some of Anubis’ research, but tasked Kappa with figuring out how to get the list of gate addresses from Stargate Command.”

“He did an excellent job, unfortunately.”

“Yes, I heard.” His voice was an odd mix of pride and despair, the personalities warring even as he spoke.

“They know I’m alive now.”

Adaar snapped his head up. “What? How? They didn’t say  _ anything _ about you.”

“I was trying to figure out their plan. It was stupid.”

“Yes, it was.”

“Kappa mentioned maybe not telling Ba’al about me being alive just yet. Said Theta deserved some...time with me first. Revenge and such.”

Adaar took a deep breath. “You  _ cannot _ let them find you, Nes. Theta...Ba’al tortured him to death over and over.” He brought a hand to his face and then looked back up. “You’re going to have to go back to Ba’al. Explain about Kappa, Theta, and Iota trying to kill you. He’ll take you back. He’ll protect you.”

“Adaar, you know what that would mean for me. Ba’al would own me from that point on. He’d  _ never _ let me out of his sight again. I can’t.”

“And Theta getting his hands on you is better? Nes…”

“I’m not going back to Ba’al. I won’t, Adaar.”

He clenched his jaw. “Fine.”

“Now, the reason I asked to meet you is because the NID and Agent Barrett are likely to go after The Trust harder now. They’ll kill you, Adaar.”

“So...what? You want me to hide?”

“No...I think we should tell them what we are.”

He slapped his menu down. “They’ll lock us up. Me especially.”

“No. We’ll just tell Agent Barrett...and Colonel Carter. She trusts me. And then you can feed information to the NID when you can.”

“Spy.”

“Of course, spy. What are you doing now?”

“And then what?”

“We make it a condition of your help that you get to keep your life even after Ba’al and the clones and The Trust are taken down.” She took a sip of her coffee. “If you  _ want _ your life here, of course.”

“Well, it’s not like I have a life anywhere else.”

“This is the best option, Adaar. I know things are...whatever they are...with us, but I don’t want the NID to kill you.”

He reached across the table to grasp her hand. “Nes…”

She pulled back. “Don’t.”

Adaar swallowed hard and tipped his head back to look at the sky before finally standing. “Let me know when and where. I’ll be there, try to redeem myself at least a little.”

Nes nodded and he finally walked off, her eyes following him across the street and down an alley where he disappeared around a corner.

She missed him, wanted him, but not enough to risk Alpha.

******

Nes showed up at Sam’s house once the colonel had returned from their cabin weekend. Nes had heard it had gone horrifically wrong with some kind of mutant creature, but she’d missed the details and was too mentally preoccupied to care what had happened. She’d beamed down in her usual way, too afraid to travel by any means where she could be spotted by the clones.

“Damnit, Nes! Some warning! That’s all I’m asking.”

Nes sighed and sat down in the armchair. “I’m sorry, Sam. I need your help.”

“With what?”

“Remember when I told you about my...friend?”

“The one that I would need to tell General Landry about?”

Nes gave a nod. “Yeah, that one. I need to explain some things first, though.”

“Okay. Shoot.” She sat down on the couch and looked at Nes expectantly.

“Not here.” Nes tossed a locator beacon to Sam who caught it and immediately recognized what she held. Nes beamed away and then brought the colonel up to the ship.

“You’ve got an al’kesh now?” she asked as she looked around.

“Yeah, I needed something faster so I got this as payment for...a job.”

“What kind of a job?”

“One that paid better than tracking clones. I’m beaming you down.”

“Where are we going?”

“Just a house of mine. One that Ba’al and the clones don’t know about.”

Sam spun around, taking in the living room they were in, and walked to the large windows. “Where are we?”

“Oregon.” There was no reason to be more specific with her. Nes joined her at the window and took in the view of green hills and forests. The cabin itself was rather small for Sekhmet’s tastes, but it was beautifully built and situated and any expansion would have seriously diminished its charms.

Nes breathed a bit calmer. What was it about a beautiful landscape that gave her soul so much more peace?

Nes offered Sam a drink and they both sat down with a glass of wine. She placed the bottle on the coffee table for easy refilling, which Nes suspected would be needed on both sides of the conversation.

“So what did you need to explain, Nes?”

Nes held up a finger to ask her to wait and then finished off her glass before pouring another and taking a deep breath, gathering her thoughts.

“You know already that I’m not a typical former host.”

“Yeah. Even my dad said Selmak had never known a host to retain as much as you have.”

“And did he have any theories on why that was?”

“Just the one. That you were a She’ket like you’ve been telling the goa’uld, but you’re not Sekhmet, so that can’t be it.”

Nes was silent for a few moments. “I lied to the goa’uld, yes, but I lied to all of you, too.”

Carter’s face went pale. “You  _ are _ Sekhmet, then.”

“No. Everyone’s been wrong about She’kets. The goa’uld doesn’t erase the host mind. The host erases the goa’uld.”

“What are you saying?”

“I  _ am _ a She’ket, but it wasn’t Sekhmet who survived.”

“Nes...why didn’t you say something before?”

“To be perfectly honest, I wasn’t entirely sure I  _ was _ a She’ket. I knew that’s what Sekhmet had attempted, but I had no way of knowing if she had succeeded or not….until Alpha.”

“Who’s Alpha?”

“Ba’al’s first clone. I forced him to meld with his host.”

“Forced him how?”

“The usual ways. That’s not important. He knew immediately that I wasn’t Sekhmet, that Alpha had been erased.”

“So you have a Ba’al clone with the host in control and in possession of  _ all _ of his knowledge and memories?”

“Yes. His name’s Adaar...but Sam...he was host for a lot longer than me, a lot longer than I had realized. It’s been difficult for him to fight down Alpha’s personality. It really  _ is _ in many ways a melding of minds. You’ve seen how easily I can slip into Sekhmet, how difficult it is for me to fight her again once I’ve given her a foothold.”

Sam nodded. “So he’s still a lot like Ba’al?”

“Yes. I mean, Adaar is there and in control, but Alpha...he shows up a lot.” She finished off her glass again. “With Agent Barrett and the NID out for blood after the incident at the SGC, we knew we needed to tell you who Adaar really is.”

“He’s still been working for Ba’al?”

“He’s been impersonating Alpha for about a year.”

“A year? Nes! You’re just  _ now _ coming to us with this?” Sam ran her hand through her hair in frustration. “How do they still think he’s Alpha without a symbiote? Is he telling them he’s a She’ket, too?”

“He’d already been taking the masking drug so they don’t even know there’s been a change yet. And you know how deep The Trust runs. If Ba’al or the clones find out we’re not Sekhmet and Alpha…”

“I can understand that, but Nes! A year!”

“I know, but...things happened. I wasn’t even sure if I could trust Adaar, Sam. He’s...well, he’s like I was at the beginning, following the goa’uld’s needs and wants and trying to figure out how to regain control.”

“But he’s willing to help the NID?”

“Yes, but there have to be some conditions.”

“Like?”

“He wants to keep his life here. He runs Farrow-Marshall and some of the other businesses they’ve acquired.”

“Nes, he didn’t exactly acquire those legally.”

“And you think this house was acquired through completely legal means? Sam, he was host for over two thousand years.” She paused for that number to sink in. “He’s a good businessman and he’s trying his best to keep the company legitimate.”

“How could he have survived all that time?”

Nes shook her head. “I don’t know. The things he’s seen...Sam, I should have killed him.”

Sam didn’t object, likely still processing the horror of that many years as a host. “I’ll talk with Agent Barrett. Can we all meet here this weekend? Go over things?”

“Yeah, that’s fine. Thanks, Sam.”

“I just wish you’d told me before.” She looked up from her glass. “Does Captain Elliot know?”

“Will he get in trouble if he does?”

Sam chuckled. “How about neither one of us answer those questions?”

Nes laughed, feeling lighter than she had in a long time.

******

Agent Barrett was very interested when Carter brought up a potential spy, though she shared with Nes that after his experience being brainwashed, he wasn’t keen on the idea of a secluded meeting. Fortunately, Sam was able to convince him that it was on the up and up and Nes arranged for all four of them to be present at the cabin on Saturday afternoon.

The hostility was immediate when Nes beamed Adaar down.

“Were you one of the clones who brainwashed me?” Agent Barrett moved his hand slowly to his gun.

Adaar immediately got defensive. “It was a single line of implanted instructions, hardly brainwashing, but no, it wasn’t me.”

Sam put a hand on the NID agent’s arm. “And they really don’t know you’re not this...Alpha?”

“Nes has been fooling the goa’uld for years now.” He turned to Nes with one of Alpha’s smirks. “We’re both rather talented.”

Nes breathed deep, always enjoying the feeling of strength and control that came with discussing how she’s impersonated Sekhmet so effectively.

Adaar turned back to Agent Barrett. “Let’s skip all the back and forth. Will you allow me to keep my life even after my work as a spy is complete?”

Nes had momentarily forgotten that Adaar’s main role these days was in business and he was certainly known for his negotiating skills. He knew Agent Barrett was someone who would appreciate cutting to the chase instead of dancing around the issue.

“What does that entail exactly?” Barrett still kept his hands on his hips, the gun still close at hand.

“Running Farrow-Marshall, my houses, cars, money.”

“The government could probably agree to just leave all of that with Emyr Kagan.” He shrugged. “Really, it might be better that way instead of having to explain his untimely death.”

“Good job helping, Adaar.” Nes said with a bit of sass. “I’m good at helping in that same way.”

“We can’t even  _ find _ what you own, Miss Saeda.”

She gave him a big smile. “And I’d like to keep it that way, Agent Barrett.”

He turned his attention back to Adaar. “What can you offer us then?”

“I can try to keep you informed on what Ba’al and the clones are up to, but most of my work really is legitimate. I usually know about anything big being planned, though.”

“So you knew about the plan for the SGC?”

“Of course, but since Nes was offworld and I had no other contacts, I’m not sure what I could have done.” He smirked again. “I couldn’t exactly waltz into Cheyenne Mountain, now could I?”

“Well, you’ll be able to contact me now. I’ll set up secure channels.”

“And how many in the NID will know about me? The more you tell, the more likely it is that Ba’al, the clones, or The Trust will find out about me.”

“It’ll just be me for now.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small phone. “For the moment, you can use this to reach me and we’ll work to get a better system in place.”

Adaar took the phone, dipped his head in thanks, and glanced over at Nes. “Anything else? I shouldn’t be gone too long.”

“I think that’s probably it for now.” She looked to Sam and Agent Barrett who both nodded in agreement.

“Can I speak with you before I go?”

Nes nodded and followed Adaar into the kitchen.

“This is foolish,” he said.

“There aren’t exactly many other options.”

He grasped her shoulders and pulled her towards him. “You and I could still disappear together. Nes…” He kissed her and she could tell it was Adaar and not Alpha. Nes was surprised by the part of her that wanted him to continue, but the part of her that cared for Kevin was stronger and she pulled away. With far too much reluctance, though.

“I’m sorry, Adaar,” she said quietly.

He nodded slowly. “Had to try.” He released her. “Well, now you won’t have to see me again.”

“I’m not abandoning you. I’m trying to protect you. I’ll still be in touch.”

She walked back to the living room. “I’ll take Adaar back and then beam you both up.”

Adaar stayed silent as she got him home and Nes felt guilt creeping back in, but she shoved it back by remembering how Alpha had tried to trick her.

Not everything we want is good for us.


	17. Chapter 17

Nes felt an intense heaviness with Adaar gone, guilt and shame and desperation and want and sadness. Still, she knew it was the right path.

After returning Agent Barrett to his home, it was just Sam and Nes aboard her al’kesh.

“Nes, is there something going on with you and Adaar?”

“No.” Her voice was harsh and Sam reacted to it so Nes let out a sigh and tried to explain. “We’re too much Sekhmet and Alpha around each other. We’ll kill one another.”

“And where does Captain Elliot fit in?”

“He’s another reason it would never work with Adaar. I felt I should at least try, though. I made Adaar what he is and I feel responsible for him, but...I  _ need _ Kevin.”

She’d never admitted that to herself even, let alone said it out loud.

“You should go back to Atlantis then.”

Nes shook her head. “The clones know I’m alive now. It’s not safe for me to go back there.”

“Hopefully now with Adaar’s help, we’ll be able to stop Ba’al.”

Nes had no such hope, but since her only other choice was simply to return to the goa’uld, she gave Sam a confident nod.

Still, she’d likely head offworld soon to resume her previous work, though this time she’d focus more on finding his cloning facilities and destroying those.

She needed to stop production.

“Hey, why don’t we go grab Vala and have tonight and tomorrow for our club meeting?”

Nes let out a loud laugh. “Are you trying to cheer me up?”

“Would you prefer I bake you cookies?”

“No,” she said just a bit too quickly, but Nes had tasted some of Sam’s cooking in the past. “Alright, let’s get Vala. I’ll just have to make sure she doesn’t rob me blind.”

Nes beamed the colonel down to her house. Sam then drove over to the SGC to get Vala, but wasn’t entirely truthful about where they were headed, while Nes made a couple phone calls.

She was disappointed that her island house wasn’t much of an option for now, but eventually she hoped to return to it. Once she was sure Adaar wouldn’t show up there uninvited. Well, once she was sure  _ Alpha _ wouldn’t show up uninvited. While she slept.

Nes saw the two locator beacons move away from the SGC and waited until they were back at Sam’s house before beaming them up.

“So what is going on?” Vala asked as she looked around the al’kesh and Nes could see her assessing its value.

“Club meeting.”

Vala clapped her hands together. “Fun! Where are we going?”

Nes just smiled. “You’ll see.” She didn’t need to move the ship much before sending them all down to the house, enjoying the reactions of both women.

“Are we in Hawaii, Nes?” Sam asked as she went to french doors leading outside.

“We are indeed. Honolulu. Sekhmet built this house in the sixties.”

“See? Now that’s hardly fair, because my goa’uld only left me a few backwater planets and then these guys made me give them back!”

“Vala, you were pretending to be Qetesh and forcing the people to mine naquadah for you.” Sam had distinct disapproval in her voice.

“Well, a girl’s gotta make a living, right?”

“Really, you should have requested a better severance package.” Nes gave her a serious look.

“I should have. You’re absolutely right.” Vala shrugged. “Maybe there’s a better deal for being the mother of the Orici. I should get  _ something _ if she achieves galactic domination, right?”

Nes had heard about how the Ori had impregnated Vala when she had ended up in their galaxy after she stopped the formation of the first supergate. The child, a girl Vala had named Adria, was born with all the knowledge of the Ori and grew to adulthood in a matter of days. It was the Ori’s way of cheating the system in a way, a loophole in the established rules of the Ascended beings who occupied their own galaxy. With Adria still being human, the Ascended wouldn’t interfere with her actions, even though she possessed powers given to her by the Ori.

“Oh yeah. I mean, at least a planet or two.”

Vala nodded. “Good ones this time.”

She was trying to laugh it off, but Nes could see her eyes darken with the conversation so she promptly shifted everyone’s focus.

“Alright, ladies,” she said with a clap of her hands. “We need to clear out for a few hours to let the house get set up, so...shopping?”

“Who is setting up the house?” Sam always had so many questions.

“I have a sort of...management agency that arranges things for me.”

“That is such a good idea. I should get one of those.”

Sam smiled. “Vala, what would you even have them manage?”

“Well, maybe not  _ now _ , but ya know...someday.”

Sam and Nes chuckled at Vala, but Nes held up a hand to silence all of them as she picked up the phone to call a cab. From there, the other women followed her out into the courtyard.

“You have a lagoon, Nes.”

Nes laughed, really rather delighted in the fun of showing off her house. A wave of sadness washed over her, though, as she realized how lonely her life was most of the time.

“You okay?”

Nes looked up to see Sam and Vala looking at her with concern and she realized she’d stopped walking. “Yeah, sorry. Just...glad to not be alone.” She gave them both a smile and Sam returned it.

“I’m not sure how you could ever be alone with money like this,” Vala said, gesturing to the house.

A horn honked out front and they all went through the carved wooden doors leading to the circular drive where a cab was waiting. Nes directed the driver to take them to where her favorite shops were located.

Once they got inside the stores, though, Nes’ companions started to look discouraged and Sam finally came over to her with a low voice.

“Nes...this stuff is way beyond what Vala and I can afford.”

Nes looked up at her with surprise and relief. She’d been worried something else was bothering them. “It’s on me, Sam.”

“We couldn’t--” Sam began, but Vala smacked her on the arm.

“Yes, we very well could.”

Nes laughed as Vala began piling clothes in her arms. Part of her knew she should rein in the former host, but Nes wasn’t the only one to have suffered at the hands of the goa’uld. Besides, Sam was right there to give her a reprimanding look and encourage her to go slow, taking several items out of the pile and returning them to their spots.

“Don’t put back that blue top, though,” Nes reached over and grabbed a royal blue button down blouse back off the shelf. “That color is perfect for you.”

Vala gave Sam a bit of a smug look before turning to Nes with a large smile. “Yes, I’ve  _ always _ felt that shade was good with my coloring.”

By the time they left, Nes would have gone on record for the benefits of retail therapy, but even she knew it was more than that. It was the benefits of friendships with two women who knew who and what she was and had even experienced many of the same things. She’d spent so many years hiding her true nature from everyone that she’d only ever established relationships that were a pure mockery of anything real, always based on a false identities and interests and experiences.

Vala was keen on going dancing and, since both Sam and Nes had had a few drinks already at the restaurant they ended up at after shopping, they agreed with a bit too much ease.

“Nes, will you be okay? Remember the last time I went out with you?” Sam had every reason to be concerned with that memory.

“I’ll be fine. I have significantly more control now.”

“Wait, what happened when you went out before?”

“I found a nice young boy with blue eyes and a deep voice and...old habits die hard.” She chuckled. “Fortunately, Sam saved him by getting me out of the bar quickly.”

“Then you broke my window.”

“Well, that dress more than makes up for it cost wise,” Nes said with a smile as she took another drink. “I really will be fine. I traveled that entire year by myself and never killed anyone.”

“You’ve done much better over the years, Nes. Good job.” Sam gave her a smile and lifted her glass to toast her.

Vala leaned forward with curiosity, though. “How many people  _ have _ you killed?”

Nes just shrugged. “No idea. What about you?”

“Oh, Qetesh had no issue with killing people, but me…” Vala shrugged as well with a wink. “...no idea, either.”

They both smiled to one another and Sam cleared her throat uncomfortably.

“Of course,” Nes said as she directed her attention to the supposedly innocent one of their group, “there’s no way we’ve killed more than Miss Star Destroyer here.”

Sam’s face grew defensive. “It was  _ one _ sun.”

“Yeah and it destroyed Apophis’  _ entire _ fleet.”

Vala’s jaw dropped slightly. “Okay, you win. And I’m definitely calling you Miss Star Destroyer now.”

“It’s your official club nickname.”

“Great. Thanks.” Sam slammed back the rest of her drink. “And what are your nicknames?”

Nes twisted her face into disgust. “I already have too many of those.”

Vala nodded. “Me, too.”

“No, I can’t be the only one with a nickname.”

“No, majority rules. We’re in agreement. Right, Vala?” She held up her drink to Vala who clinked her own to it.

“Absolutely. Sorry, Sam. Tok’ra host overruled by the Goa’uld hosts.” Vala also finished her drink and set it on the table with a bit too much force. “Now. Dancing.”

Alcohol plus good company plus music meant Nes relaxed more than she had in a long time. She left all her worries about Ba’al and the clones and Adaar and the Ori and Kevin at the door of the club and by the end of the evening, the three women were riding home in a cab singing at the top of their lungs and stumbling into the house, Nes directing the others to their bedrooms before collapsing onto her own bed, barely moving for what was left of the night.

In the morning, all three had to admit they weren’t eighteen anymore as they drank copious amounts of coffee inside the house away from any direct sunlight.

“Sam, I had no idea you could cut loose like that.”

The colonel groaned. “I’m not sure I knew either.” She leaned her head back against the couch. “I haven’t had that much to drink since...I don’t know when. My brain doesn’t work well enough to think back that far.”

Nes laughed and then regretted it. “I vote spa day.” She struggled to her feet. “I’ll make some phone calls.”

After a day of spa treatments, that night was spent outside on the beach, all of them wonderfully relaxed and refreshed as they sipped drinks, and conversation turned towards their individual times as hosts.

“How did you deal with the guilt, Vala?”

“I didn’t.” She didn’t expound on the statement and Nes nodded in understanding.

“You two shouldn’t feel guilty, though. What choice did you have?”

Vala sipped her drink and sat up slightly. “And I can tell myself that, but the nightmares...everything that happened was seen through my own eyes, using my hands.”

“Ah, the nightmares. I tried to just not sleep when they got really bad at times.”

“Same.” Vala turned to Nes with a curious expression. “Do you have the one where you’re a host again and can’t move your body?”

Nes sat up suddenly. “Yes! All the time. I’m screaming and trying to run and Sekhmet’s there just laughing at my efforts.” She shuddered.

“That sounds awful,” Sam said with sympathy in her voice.

Both women shrugged, leaning back in their chairs and verbally dismissing Sam’s statement.

“You don’t have to do that around me. Both of you.”

“It’s easier to brush it aside, Sam.”

Vala nodded in agreement. “I mean, where do you even start with all of it?”

“Precisely. What kind of therapist do you go to for this kind of situation?”

“Well, the SGC has some therapists who at least would have the clearance to talk to you.”

“Yeah, I had to see one of them once,” Nes said with a smile. “He kept letting me know I was safe.”

“Safe! Ha!” Vala flopped her head back. “Like any of us are ever safe with all that’s out there.”

“He also kept insisting that I just needed to develop relationships and trust.”

Vala nearly choked on her drink. “Oh yeah, because that doesn’t put you at even more risk.”

“That’s what I said!”

“Okay, but you need people,” Sam said sitting forward. “Both of you.”

“But once you care about someone else...you have to worry about them, too. And your enemies can use them against you.” Nes’ voice dropped to a whisper. “I learned that quickly with Sekhmet.”

“So what’s your other choice? Just never care about anyone else ever?” Sam gave her a teasing smile. “How’s that working out with Captain Elliot?”

A slow smile crept onto Nes’ face. “Yeah, he kinda messed that up.”

Vala perked up immediately. “Who’s Captain Elliot? I don’t think I’ve ever met an Elliot at the SGC.”

“That’s because he’s in the Pegasus galaxy right now.” Sam brought her shoulders up and put her chin on her hands. “You should see the two of them, though. They’re  _ adorable _ .”

Nes grabbed the pillow next to her and flung it at Sam.

“Oo! Details, please.”

Nes groaned, but finally gave in and told Vala about Kevin, leaving out the details the women really wanted from her stories, but both listeners gave one another knowing looks and Nes finally covered her face after realizing how different she likely looked when she talked about him.

Vala finally crossed her arms. “So...you’re desperately in love with him and yet you’re here instead of getting on the first trip back to Atlantis?”

Nes’ face sank. “It’s not that simple. Not with Ba’al and the clones still out there. Especially now that Kappa knows I’m still alive.”

“Well, then clearly we need to get back to killing them.”

“That’s my plan.”

“You’re going to start tracking the clones again?” Sam asked.

“I was thinking I might try to find his cloning facilities.”

“And any idea where to start on those?”

Nes shook her head. “No, but hopefully I can track the right clones. We’ll see.”

Sam nodded, but then gave her a more pointed look. “And will you tell us if you find anything?”

“Sam, I’d like to say that I will, but I don’t know. Maybe.”

“Well, I guess that’s better than nothing. Will you come back to the SGC first?”

“Only for a bit.” She groaned quietly. “I need to find a new house. Ba’al and the clones know about my current one there.”

“Well, if you need a roommate…” Vala gave her a big grin and pointed to herself.

“There is  _ no _ way General Landry will let the two of you be roommates.”

Nes had to agree with that, plus she was fairly sure that she would come back to an empty house when she returned - everything of value being sold off or lost in some kind of scheme.

“Doesn’t mean I can’t have friends over.”

“In that case,” Sam said with a smile, “find a place with a pool.”


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Episode 10.08 “Memento Mori”

They reluctantly returned to Colorado Springs the next morning with a story of a girls’ weekend spent at Sam’s house. Nes congratulated the colonel with a knowing wink on her lifestyle now involving a bit more bending of the rules.

Nes found a house that she liked and had it added to her assets, but couldn’t bring herself to sell the other home. It held too many memories she wasn’t ready to let go of just yet. She got antsy quickly, though, and let Sam know she’d be taking off for a while.

Once aboard her al’kesh, she breathed a bit easier. Still, she needed activity more than anything else and investigating Ba’al’s cloning facilities gave her plenty to mentally and physically focus on. Ba’al was no fool in setting things up generally. The compounds would be well hidden, but he would still have power and supply requirements that his lack of territories would make more difficult. Knowing Ba’al as she did, she began looking for any ties to the Lucian Alliance. She hoped he had established, at the very least, a trading partnership with Netan or one of the Seconds.

In the end, she knew she’d need to pay a visit to Anateo again and, with his territories devastated by the Ori, he would likely get over his agitation with her absence quickly. He would know he needed her.

When she arrived in the town where he had his new base and made her presence known, he was quick to seek her out. Nes was unsurprised when she found him sitting in the bar of the inn where she’d taken a room. She approached him with a seductive smile, but he stood in anger and grabbed her by the arm, speaking in a low voice.

“Where have you been?”

“I believe I was quite clear that I had other matters to attend to and the Ori have complicated the situation throughout the galaxy.”

He brought his face close to hers. “Yes, they’ve completely overrun many of my territories. I even went to Netan requesting new planets.”

“And where did you expect him to get these new planets for you?”

“If you had been here, I would never have needed to suggest that Netan eliminate one of the other Seconds, Karug.”

“Well, my apologies. Would you still like me to get rid of Karug?”

He released her arm. “I’m not sure why I should even take you back.”

Nes pulled a knife quickly and pressed the tip into his abdomen as she leaned in closely, keeping his men from seeing anything but a woman making suggestions in their leader’s ear. “I was never yours, Anateo. And if you do not wish to utilize my services, there are plenty of other places for me to seek employment.” She nibbled his ear to complete the illusion. “Though it’s rather apparent how much you’ve missed me.”

He chuckled softly and let a hand settle on her waist possessively. “What payment will you be requiring this time?”

“Supplies as usual, but I’m also in need of information. Perhaps you’ll have what I need.”

“What kind of information?”

“Why don’t we talk upstairs?” She put the knife away discreetly and moved towards the stairs, Anateo close behind, his men snickering, Nes resisting the temptation to put knives in their throats.

Anateo wasn’t one to pass up an opportunity and Nes  _ had _ been slightly more willing to entertain his advances the last time she’d seen him, but she put an end to any hopes he harbored and directed the conversation to business immediately.

“Karug, you said?”

“Netan will know it was me if Karug is killed now.”

“Well, then who would you like to eliminate instead?” She tried to keep the exasperation out of her voice, but knew she was failing.

“I wish you could take out Kefflin…”

Nes scoffed at the idea. “He never leaves his ship.”

“True, but Netan relies on his advice quite a bit.”

“I could certainly kill him, but it would take considerably more time to infiltrate his inner circle and get close to him while also being able to escape.”

“Fine. Reshna then.”

“He focuses almost exclusively on kassa production, correct?”

“Yes, but I suspect he sabotaged several of my kassa plantations to decrease supply and increase the demand for his own crops.”

“Ah, well, we can’t have  _ that _ , can we? You’d think a group of smugglers and criminals would have a bit more honor, right?” She gave him a smirk and he laughed at her sarcasm.

“Now what information are you hoping to acquire?”

She cut right to it. “What ties does the Lucian Alliance have to those goa’uld who are still trying to quietly maintain their preferred lifestyle?”

His eyebrows shot up. “The goa’uld? Anyone in particular?”

“Ba’al.”

“What’s got you hunting him down?”

“That’s my business.”

He crossed his arms and looked her over. “There have been a few rumors floating around about Ba’al being willing to trade goa’uld treasure for supplies, but I haven’t looked into the validity at all.”

“Well, perhaps you can do just that while I take out Reshna.”

He bowed his head in assent. “I’ll see what I can discover.”

“I want a lead on where he’s based, Anateo.”

“I will do my best, Asra, but the goa’uld aren’t exactly wanting their presence discovered.”

“But I’m sure  _ you _ can find what I need.”

He gave her a jaunty smile and came toward her, but she instead walked to the door and headed downstairs again, not even bothering to stop for a drink, just walking out into the night air and not stopping until she was on the outskirts of the town and could breathe again.

The loneliness was almost unbearable now, with the stark contrast to recent memories of friendships. How was she supposed to keep going?

She didn’t want this life anymore.

Nes pulled herself together enough to kill Reshna, but took no pleasure in his death, just wanting it to be done with so she could move on to the next task. When she returned, Anateo had nothing for her beyond the rumor that Kefflin may be involved.

“That’s hardly helpful, Anateo.”

“I need more time.”

“Fine. I’ll return in a few weeks and I want more than vague conjecture or I will be forced to seek information  _ elsewhere _ .”

“Is that a threat?”

“Come now. You should know by now that  _ everything _ I say is a threat.”

He gave her a smirk and stepped closer to her. “Netan has sent word that he has a special task for me.”

Nes raised her eyebrows. “I suppose he is noticing that you are becoming a worthy challenger to his leadership. Do you think he plans to kill you?”

“Possibly, but  **he can hardly murder me in cold blood** . I’ll see what he wants me to do. You know, I can’t say I would mind having you by my side when I meet with him.”

Nes brought a hand up and tapped his nose with her finger. “Except then he would have yet another reason to want to be rid of you.”

Anateo grabbed her wrist roughly. “But you wouldn’t be the type to simply attach yourself to the man with the most power, would you?”

Nes gave him a quick wink. “Perhaps it would be best if I  _ didn’t _ accompany you then. I might be  _ far too tempted _ by Netan.”

He threw her wrist down with a scowl. “Soon,  _ I _ will replace Netan.”

“Only because of my assistance, remember.”

“Yes, you’ve been incredibly helpful, Asra.”

“I have, so do not forget about the information I require.”

“Of course not. I will see you soon.”

He left her room and Nes quickly rounded up her own belongings, wanting to be on her way back to Earth as fast as possible.

She needed home.

******

“What do you mean ‘Vala is missing’?”

Daniel took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes, clearly exhausted and worried. “I took Vala out for dinner--”

Nes couldn’t let that pass. “Dinner? Really?”

“Stop it. She doesn’t get off the base much and I wanted to take her out as a sort of ‘thank you’ for working so hard to make a new life for herself here.”

Nes held back a smile at Daniel thinking Vala didn’t get up to the surface much, which was certainly true from his perspective. “Okay, so you took her out and…”

“And she was kidnapped by some Trust operatives.”

“What would The Trust want with her?” Nes couldn’t see any angle where Vala would be important to their operations except for a foolish display of strength.

“Well, it wasn’t really The Trust. See, Agent Barrett got us a list of safe houses from someone he’s got within the operation, but the one Vala was being held at was rigged to explode if it were attacked. We managed to capture one of the Trust operatives, though, and Teal’c got some information out of him.”

Adaar must have helped them with the safe houses. Good.

“But Vala wasn’t killed in the explosion? And what do you mean it wasn’t really The Trust?”

“Vala’s DNA wasn’t found, so we’re still hoping she’s alive, but we’re having trouble locating her. And it was Charlotte Mayfield, a trust operative who is apparently host to the goa’uld Athena now.”

Nes bit her lip and Daniel’s shoulders slumped.

“You knew.”

“Well, it’s not like you would have done anything about it. You know Emyr Kagan is Ba’al, too, and you haven’t taken him out.”

“Okay okay, but you could have at least mentioned it.”

“Hindsight is 20/20 and all that. I’m sorry, Daniel. So what did Athena want with Vala?”

“Well, it seems that  **Athena once allied herself with Qetesh, the goa’uld who inhabited Vala, and Qetesh double-crossed her when they were searching for the Clava Thessara Infinitas.** ”

Nes cocked her head to the side as she mentally translated. “ **The Key to Infinite Treasure?** ”

“It was supposed to  **grant entrance to a storehouse of riches hidden by the Ancients prior to their ascension, but it seems to be just an elaborate hoax from what I can tell.** ”

“But Athena doesn’t think it’s a hoax?”

“No and Qetesh made her think she had found it even though she never did.”

Nes began to nod her head. “So she thinks Vala has that information buried somewhere.”

“Right.”

“And you don’t think Athena has her now?”

“No. There wasn’t time to move her before our team moved in, but Vala also hasn’t contacted us.”

Nes placed her hands firmly on Daniel’s desk and stood. “Alright, then. I’ll see what I can find out.”

“Thanks, Nes.” He put his face down into his hand.

“Hey…” she waited until he looked up. “Vala’s a survivor. We’ll find her.”

He nodded and she left to head up to the surface, a smile on her face and excitement in her steps.

She was finally going to kill Athena.

*****

Adaar  _ had _ been the one to supply the safe house locations, but hadn’t confronted Athena yet. He said he needed to wait until the information came through the regular channels for him to not earn her suspicion.

“Does Athena know I’m alive?”

Adaar looked up from his desk, closing the file he was going through. “I don’t think so. Kappa seems to be keeping all the clones quiet about you.”

“Well, then it will be easy to get hold of her and find out what she knows about Vala.”

“I suppose you’re looking forward to finally killing her.” Alpha’s smirk appeared. “With the way she switched loyalties from me...Alpha...to Kappa, I wouldn’t mind helping you.”

“Tempting, but I think I’ll keep this just between us girls.”

He chuckled and crossed his arms as he looked at her with admiration. “When news of your death reached us, I could see how pleased she was, and Kappa realized quickly that she planned to try taking your spot with Ba’al. He’d used her. She’d used him.”

Nes shifted her shoulders back. “She could never replace me.”

“No. And Ba’al put off all her advances with disgust. She tried crawling back to Kappa, but it was too late.”

“So now she’s grasping at anything to gain the power she’s so desperate for.”

“Precisely.”

“Well, won’t she be pleased to see  _ me _ ?” Nes gave Adaar a smile. “Where does she work out of these days?”

“I’m afraid I didn’t much care for her presence around here and transferred her to the Seattle offices.” He chuckled. “She was  _ really _ not happy with me.”

Nes laughed at the thought of that conversation, but then grew more serious. “Thanks again for your help with the safe houses.”

He nodded, but looked down at his desk. “Glad to help. Are you doing well?”

“Yeah, still working on finding Ba’al’s cloning facilities. You?”

He gave a noncommittal shrug. “Just doing this.” He gestured to the desk and office, but then Nes watched him pull Alpha to the surface, giving her a smirk. “Let me know how it goes with Athena.”

She mirrored his expression. “Will do.”

Nes made her way to her Seattle penthouse again, but got a text from Adaar letting her know that there was a Colorado Springs police bulletin asking for information on a Jane Doe with a picture of Vala. She’d been near Cheyenne Mountain this whole time!

Well, SG-1 would find her, but she saw no reason why that should interrupt her plans with Athena. It would just be for revenge instead of information and that would make it all the more fun. She considered spending some time taunting her first, but she wanted to get back to Anateo, which didn’t leave a lot of time for games.

Plus, if Athena were smart, she’d disappear quickly after this little fiasco. No one would let her continue to live quietly on Earth now and Nes wanted to get her hands on her first before the NID or Air Force went after her.

Nes waited until later in the evening when Athena was alone in her office, her assistant having gone home for the night, and then beamed in next to her desk with a zat’nik’tel trained on her.

“Hello, Athena.”

“Sekhmet!” Terror crossed her face. “You’re supposed to be dead!”

“Oh, didn’t Kappa tell you? He’s known for a while now that I’m alive. Interesting that he failed to mention that to  _ you _ .” She smirked at her rival. “Did he lose interest?”

“What do you want?” Athena spat out, her pride wounded.

“Vala Mal Doran. I want to know what you learned about the Clava Thessara Infinitus.”

“Why would I tell you?”

“Because we both know your entire existence is merely attaching to more powerful goa’uld. You don’t operate alone.” Nes twisted her face up in disgust. “You’re a leach.”

Athena straightened in defiance. “And what are you? Pawing all over Ba’al to be his queen? And before him, Yu, Apophis, Heru’ur, Sokar? You’re the galaxy’s whore.”

Nes chuckled which clearly confused the other woman. “What’s funny is that I’d be the most celibate whore in all of history.  _ None of them _ had me in their beds.”

Athena’s eyebrows shot up.

“See, that’s where you’ve gone wrong, Athena. You’re far too easy. You don’t make them work for it. Honestly, what’s the point of taking a female host if you don’t know how to utilize its strengths?” Nes looked over Athena’s clothing selection, noting the increase in class her outfit suggested compared to when they’d first met. “You do seem to have learned a least a little something from me, though.”

Nes transitioned to a scowl and pulled out a knife with her free hand. “Now...will you tell me what you learned or do I need to... _ cut _ ...the information out of you?”

Athena moved her hand slightly, but Nes clicked her tongue at her.

“And don’t even think about beaming away, please. I don’t want to wait for you to wake up after I stun you.”

Athena swallowed hard, but kept her hands still. “The truth is...I didn’t actually learn anything before the safe house was attacked.”

Nes gave her a skeptical look.

“That’s why I was still looking for her afterwards. You have to believe me.”

She was so incredibly pathetic that Nes knew her death would be completely unsatisfying.

“Oh, I do believe you.”

“Then you won’t kill me?”

Nes smiled. “No, I’m definitely going to kill you. I really didn’t care what you had learned or not. I just came here for revenge anyway.”

“Revenge? It was Kappa’s idea to kill you, Sekhmet.”

“Oh, I believe that, too. You don’t do any original thinking. No, this is revenge for hurting Vala.”

Athena scoffed at that idea. “What do you care about a former host?”

“She’s my friend.”

Athena shook her head slightly trying to understand.

“You see...I’m not Sekhmet.”

All the color drained from Charlotte Mayfield’s face.

“Normally, I would torture you for a while, but I think your screams would simply be annoying.”

Athena was still too confused to register the knife coming toward her until it was lodged In Charlotte’s heart. She began to collapse to the ground, but even while dying, her hand tried to find the button to beam her away, probably hoping a jaffa would put her into a sarcophagus. Nes was too quick, leaping over the desk, and grabbing the searching hand.

The goa’uld still tried to hold on. “Who are you?”

Nes smirked and leaned closer to whisper. “The host takes dominance in a She’ket. What  _ fools  _ you’ve all been.” She pulled out the knife and plunged it back in again, her own eyes flashing with satisfaction as Athena’s flashed in death.

She was disappointed that she couldn’t risk simply leaving the body in the office. There was something wonderfully picturesque about a businesswoman being found dead with a knife in her heart, spinning gently in an office chair. Instead, Nes had to be content with leaving a large volume of blood on the floor, and disposed of Charlotte Mayfield’s body in various segments so there was no hope of her being found and revived.

She went back to Colorado Springs then to get herself cleaned up and, while it really was far too late, she went ahead and drove over to the SGC to see if Vala had been found. She ran into security again, but this time she didn’t look quite so outrageous, so they were calmer as they called down to see who would vouch for her.

A pair of airmen led her down to the infirmary where she found both Vala and Colonel Mitchell, only the latter awake, though.

He gave her a wave and she pulled a stool over to his bed and spoke quietly.

“What happened to  _ you _ ?”

“Got shot trying to save Vala...who then took me prisoner.”

“Vala took you prisoner?”

“Apparently she couldn’t remember who she was. They were using one of those memory recall devices and it got shot by a zat, fried her brain a bit.”

“How’s she doing now?”

“She finally started remembering things and it seems to all be coming back.”

“Good.” She looked across the room at the sleeping Vala. “Glad you guys found her and she’s safe.”

“And what about you? Where have you been?”

Nes’ face went hard. “Making sure Athena will never go after her again.”

Cam nodded slowly, her meaning clear. “You gonna hang around here for a while now?”

She shook her head. “No. I’ve got a meeting I need to get back for.”

“Well, next time you should stick around longer. Vala will be sad she missed you.”

“She’ll be sad she missed my money.” She didn’t really mean it and made sure she had laughter in her voice as she spoke.

“I think she likes having another former host around. You two have been through a lot of shit.”

Nes just nodded. “You should get some rest. I’ll try to check back in at some point.”

“Take care of yourself, Nes.”

She always did.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Episode 10.09 “Company of Thieves”

“You still have  _ nothing _ for me, Anateo?”

“I’ve been busy, Asra. Kefflin is definitely involved, I can tell you that, but you know how secretive he is.”

Nes glared at him, but finally turned away. “What did Netan want?”

“ **He’s sending me on a fool’s quest** . I don’t think he expects me to survive, but I have other plans.”

“What does he want you to do?”

Anateo smiled sadistically. “Let me worry about that. I think it’s time Netan was dealt with, though.”

Nes spun around with raised eyebrows. “Dealt with? By me, you mean.”

He brought a hand up to her face and Nes barely resisted the urge to remove the hand from his arm. “I will do what he asks of me and I will succeed. And you will take care of Netan himself.  **His stuffed corpse will be a trophy on my wall** and I will have full control of the Lucian Alliance.” He brought his face closer to hers. “With you by my side.”

He kissed her and she allowed it for a few moments, knowing that the small encouragement she gave would keep him wanting her, maintaining her position of power even as he ascended to new leadership positions. Desire was a powerful tool and she was a master at wielding it to her own purposes.

“Perhaps when I replace Netan, you can congratulate me personally.”

“ _ If _ you replace Netan. Let’s not jump ahead.”

“I  _ will _ succeed.” He grabbed her face rather roughly then. “Make sure that  _ you _ do not fail, Asra.”

“Have I ever failed you yet? When do you want me to take out Netan?”

“I want my task completed first, but it will be a few weeks before I strike. Wait until you hear of my success.”

“How will I know you are successful if you will not tell me what your task is?”

“Oh, you will know. It will be quite the conversation topic.”

She bit back her annoyance and curiosity. After all, the task itself didn’t matter, only success or failure. That was all that would affect her.

Anateo kissed her again, but Nes pushed him off and told him she had things to do to prepare if she was going to kill a well-guarded man like Netan.

Anateo left again disappointed, but his confidence in himself could not be lowered even by her rejections. He had no doubts of his entitlement to rule, despite the majority of his power being gained only because Nes had happened to find herself in his territories. He was lucky, with enough skill to capitalize on the good fortune that came his way, but would that give him the entire rule of the Lucian Alliance? She was unsure. Lesser men had certainly attained more power throughout history.

Despite the pull back to Earth that she worked to ignore, Nes ventured into Netan’s territories. He was almost exclusively aboard his ha’tak as he monitored the Alliance as a whole, though, and Nes would need to find a reason to get close to him. She knew SG-1 had had interactions with him in the past and wondered if their database might have information she could utilize.

She was grasping for a reason to go home, but it was enough. Why she felt she needed a reason was beyond even her own ability to see, but she directed her al’kesh towards Earth anyway. Nes smiled as she looked down on the planet from orbit, though her ship wasn’t nearly as happy, since she’d pushed her a bit hard to get back more quickly.

Nes beamed down to her new house before driving over to the SGC. She was escorted down to the briefing room, which had a large whiteboard set up with the Lucian Alliance hierarchy laid out and a man Nes remembered as Major Escher standing next to it.

“General Landry, Cam, Teal’c, where’s everyone else?” she said as she took a seat.

Cam, a small box sitting on the table in front of him, took a slow breath. “The Odyssey and Sam were captured by the Lucian Alliance. And when we tracked the emergency transponder, Daniel and Vala were captured as well.”

“Captured?! Any idea who specifically is behind it?”

“Sounds like it’s a Second called Anateo.”

Nes closed her eyes as she released a slow breath. “That little shit.”

“You know him?” General Landry asked.

“Yes. I met him several months back. I may have...assisted him in expanding his territories.”

“Assisted him how exactly?”

Major Escher stepped forward. “There have been quite a few Seconds murdered in the last few months. Rumors are it’s been a mystery assassin - a woman.”

Nes smiled a bit sheepishly with a shrug.

“You’re running around assassinating members of the Lucian Alliance?” Cam leaned forward onto the desk. “And helping this Anateo guy?”

“Well, I saw it more as sowing a bit of discord amongst the Alliance leaders.”

“Except your sowing has gotten more than half my team kidnapped!”

“Well...not directly. Anateo has certainly presented more of a threat to Netan who then sent him off on what Anateo called ‘a fool’s quest.’ I had no idea it involved The Odyssey or any of you, though!” She leaned back in her chair. “To be honest, I figured Anateo would never survive just as Netan was hoping.”

“Well, he did, and now we’re trying to figure out how to find them before it’s too late.”

“I should have insisted on going with him. He wanted me to take out Netan, though.”

“I seriously cannot believe you’re running around playing assassin.”

“Cam, what part of any of that is actually surprising? Have you  _ met _ me?”

“Good point.”

General Landry let out a deep sigh. “Major Escher, please continue.”

“ **Each division of Lucian Alliance territory is controlled by one of Netan's lieutenants, or ‘Seconds’, as they're called. There are about twenty such individuals overseeing operations including smuggling, extortion, racketeering, and of course, trafficking in kassa.** ”

“ **Is there anything new coming? Because this feels like a rerun to me.** ” Nes had not improved the general’s mood.

“ **Well, we've been following up on rumors of betrayal and possible mutiny among the Seconds. There seems to be mounting dissent over Netan's leadership.** ”

“I can confirm that,” Nes said with a raised hand.

“ **Well, that's good, but how does it help us?** ”

Major Escher pointed to a blurry picture on the board. “ **Kefflin, one of Netan's most loyal and trusted Seconds. He oversees a large kassa production operation on a remote group of planets on the outskirts of the galaxy.** ”

“ **What about him?** ” General Landry asked as he gave Nes a pointed look when her body stiffened at the name.

Escher swallowed hard and glanced at Colonel Mitchell. “ **Besides the fact that he's a brutal killer with a notorious temper…** ”

“ **We only know of him by reputation, sir.** ” Cam jumped in. “ **He's extremely reclusive and rarely, if ever, leaves his command ship. Very few, if any, of Netan's inner circle have ever met the guy.** ”

“ **You think this Kefflin is behind the disappearance of the Odyssey?** ” the general asked.

“Not Anateo?” Nes was confused.

“ **No, sir. I think he's the perfect candidate to impersonate.** ”

Nes made a choking sound and the general was clearly surprised as well.

“ **Excuse me?** ”

Cam started toying with the box in front of him. “ **I am suggesting that I infiltrate the Lucian Alliance. It's the only way we're gonna get reliable information on the Odyssey.** ”

“ **You don't even have a decent picture of the man!** ”

“ **That's what makes him the perfect candidate, sir.** ” The colonel opened the box and slid it over to General Landry who picked it up. Nes could see a ring and vial inside. “ **The Reole chemical. Dr. Jackson used it a few years back to infiltrate a System Lords' summit. One jab of that and Netan will believe I am who I say I am regardless of what I look like. No one else will question me because no one else has ever seen him.** ”

“ **So you think,** ” the general said skeptically as he slammed the box shut again.

“ **I'm not saying it isn't risky…sir. I'm saying we have to do something.** ”

“It’s not just risky. It’s insane, Cam.” Nes could barely form the words, she was so surprised at his flippancy on the risks.

“You got a better plan, Nes? Or a better way in?”

She tightened her jaw. “No...but I’m coming with you.”

“Like hell you are.”

“Cam, I know how the Alliance operates.”

“You’re just after Netan.”

“I don’t care about Netan. I care about finding our friends. And if Anateo survives this, I will personally make sure that oversight doesn’t continue.”

Cam looked her over and took a deep breath. “Sir, she could come in handy.”

“Kefflin’s not one to keep women, as far as I can tell, but I’m no ordinary woman.” She gave Cam a wink who now looked even more doubtful of her contributions.

“Any chance we can at least use your al’kesh?”

Nes twisted her mouth with a shrug. “I was a bit anxious to get back so I pushed the engines just a titch too hard. I need to do some repairs.”

“Great. So we’re stuck with the cargo ship from hell that Vala found for us.”

“I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

“And get up to the infirmary to get a locator beacon.”

“No, that’s okay.” Nes waved him off. There was no way she wanted the Air Force to be able to track her movements.

“You can tear the damn thing out when we’re done, Nes, but if you wanna come along, you’ll go to the infirmary right now and not complain about it. Or I  _ will _ leave you behind.”

“Fine! I’m going.”

The beacon was fairly small and they placed it in her forearm; Nes was already counting down the minutes until she could cut it out again.

The three of them made their way to Netan’s ha’tak, Nes having a good idea of where it was located from her recent investigations.

“ **They have detected us, Colonel Mitchell. Are you prepared?** ” Teal’c asked.

Cam came to the bridge wearing a Lucian Alliance uniform and adjusted the ring he would use to trick Netan. “ **Prepared as I'll ever be.** ”

Nes quickly adjusted his uniform slightly and he gave her a quick wink as he gestured to her own outfit. Nes had gone for a bit more sex appeal this time - a top that plunged low paired with black leather pants and jacket, and boots that lengthened her legs even further with their heels, which could serve as their own weapons if needed.

Teal’c activated the communicator as Cam leaned forward and a man came on screen.

“ **State your business.** ”

“ **I'm Kefflin. I'm here to see Netan.** ”

“ **You are not expected.** ”

“ **I don't have to be expected. Authorize me for immediate transport, or I'll have your head as an ornament for my ship.** ”

“ **I will notify Netan of your arrival,** ” the man said nervously before shutting off communications.

“Nice touch with the ship ornament line,” Nes said as they made their way back to the rings in the cargo bay.

“Thanks. Hopefully this works.”

“What could happen?”

“I think your pep talks are even worse than mine.”

Nes gave him a smile before the rings activated and they found themselves surrounded by several Lucian Alliance goons.

“ **Where's Netan?** ” Cam asked.

“ **I will take you to him,** ” the man they’d spoken to earlier said.

“ **Fine. Let's go.** ”

“ **First, you must submit to a search.** ”

“ **I don't think so.** ”

Cam tried to walk out of the room, but his path was blocked. The colonel headbutted the man who seemed to be in charge then defended himself from the other guards as they attacked. One of them quickly got in a good punch that sent Mitchell to the ground, though.

“Were you going to help at all?” Cam looked up at Nes who stood back with her arms crossed, a smile on her face.

“Oh no, darling. You’re doing superbly. Besides, you know how much I love to see you in action.”

Cam gave her a scowl as the guards grabbed both his arms and began to drag him from the room. One of them reached out to take hold of her and she held up a hand with a smile.

“No, thank you. I prefer to walk on my own.” He raised an eyebrow, but gestured for her to follow the others out of the room, which she did, though the swing in her hips was likely unnecessary.

They were led down a few halls to the old throne room of whatever goa’uld had claimed this ha’tak in the past. Cam slid a handkerchief up to cover his face in preparation.

“ **I asked not to be disturbed,** ” a voice in the room yelled out in frustration.

“ **I apologize, Netan, but there's been an incident.** ”

The two guards dragged Cam into the room and Nes made sure to hang back just a few extra steps as Netan approached the intruder. Mitchell made a good act of falling toward Netan then and got a hand onto the Alliance leader, pricking him with the ring and the chemical.

“ **I tried to tell them who I was,** ” Mitchell said as Netan looked confused momentarily, “ **but apparently the name ‘Kefflin’ didn't seem to mean much around here.** ”

Netan looked again at him and then at his torn sleeve where he’d been pricked, the drug taking effect.

“ **Sorry about that.** ” Cam held up his hand and wiggled the finger with the ring. “ **The ring was a gift from my latest…conquest.** ”

Finally Nes relaxed as Netan came forward to pull Mitchell into a hug.

“ **My dear friend Kefflin is here and you didn't inform me?** ” Netan gave a dark look to the guard they’d spoken with.

“ **I'm sorry, master.** ” He shook his head in both fear and confusion. “ **You asked not to be disturbed.** ”

“ **So you beat him instead?** ”

“ **As you can see,** ” Cam said as he glanced over at the guard who also bore a large bleeding cut on his face, “ **the beating wasn't…entirely one way.** ”

Netan laughed and grasped the face of the man he saw as Kefflin. “ **I'm sure it wasn't** .” He finally spared some attention for Nes. “And who is this lovely creature?”

Nes came further into the room to stand next to Cam.

“She was also a...gift.”

“And an exquisite one at that.” He extended a hand and she allowed him to place a kiss on her knuckles.

“Asra. I’ve looked forward to meeting you, Netan.” She filled her voice with thick seduction. She didn’t need Reole chemical to blur his mind.

Netan gave her a smirk as his eyes roamed a bit before he ordered the guards to leave them.

“Would you like a drink?” he asked Cam.

“I’d prefer walking after a long trip.”

Netan nodded and then glanced at Nes. “And would your...companion like to be shown to a room?”

“She stays with me.” Cam leaned towards him. “She has talents beyond the obvious, my friend.”

Netan looked her over again, this time with more scrutiny, likely realizing she was more bodyguard than lover.

Nes trailed behind, letting the two men talk shop - drought, floods, the Ori, the Tau’ri, all problems that have made their operations rather difficult in recent months.

“ **Yes. Committing our ships to cooperate in a fight against the Ori incursion was a strategic mistake.** ” Netan stopped walking and Cam looked back at him to try to save the situation. “ **You've always appreciated my honesty in the past.** ”

Netan resumed walking. “ **I have.** ”

“ **You're the boss. I don't blame you, but others do.** ”

“ **I know,** ” Netan said with concern. “ **Is that why you're here? The Kefflin I know would never make such a trip without a serious purpose.** ”

“ **Actually, it's the Odyssey, the Tau'ri vessel. Word reached me you just captured it. I wanted to know your plans. Its beaming and hyperspace technology could be a great advantage in transporting my crops.** ”

“ **Where did you hear this?** ”

“ **The usual channels.** ”

“ **I heard rumors that the Odyssey was destroyed in battle with the Ori. Nothing has been confirmed yet. I certainly had nothing to do with it.** ”

So Netan didn’t want anyone to know of his attempts to get rid of Anateo. Well, she couldn’t blame him. It certainly did look rather cowardly.

Just then, the guard from earlier approached them. “ **Netan, a ship has been detected in proximity. We are moving to intercept.** ”

Cam gave Nes a look and they both knew it was likely Teal’c about to be captured. The cloak on that damn ship must have failed. They followed behind while several other guards informed them that they had boarded the ship and captured the pilot. They were led to a holding cell and the door opened to reveal their friend chained.

“ **Teal'c,** ” Netan said with a chuckle. “ **I'm beginning to think you enjoy being my prisoner.** ”

Teal’c rolled his shoulders in anger and defiance and Nes barely held back the sigh at finding the two of them in this situation yet again.

The guard from earlier began to punch Teal’c and Nes had to work hard to appear unmoved by the torture inflicted on him, though she could see Cam’s body stiffen as it went on. She would intercede soon if he didn’t.

“ **Where is the rest of your team?** ” the guard yelled in Teal’c’s face. He hit him again before stepping to the side to grab a goa’uld pain stick.

And that was the last straw for Colonel Mitchell, who grabbed the stick from the guard and beat him to the ground with it before jabbing it into his back, pulling a scream from him. Nes let one of Sekhmet’s smirks spread across her face as she watched.

“ **That man knows nothing of torture.** ” Cam tucked the pain stick under his arm. “ **I'll find what we need.** ”

Netan gave him a smile. “ **I was wondering how long you'd be able to resist.** ”

“ **If you don't mind, I'm going to need some time alone with him.** ”

Netan nodded toward the guard on the ground and the others gathered him up to drag out of the cell as Cam looked over Teal’c in anticipation. Nes gave him a little wave as the door shut and found herself standing alone with Netan.

“I would love that drink you had offered earlier, Netan,” she said with a smile as she slid her arm into his.

“Of course.” He gave her an amused look and guided her down the halls back to the throne room.

“Are you not concerned about leaving him with the prisoner?”

Nes laughed. “I think we both know that Kefflin is more than capable of handling him. Though I do wish I had stayed to watch.”

“How long have you been with Kefflin?”

Nes accepted the drink he handed her. “Not long, but he’s very appreciative of my...skills.”

“And what skills are those?” Netan stepped closer to her, letting his hand glide down her arm.

Nes gave him a smirk. “What skills do you think your friend would most appreciate in a woman? What would make him want to keep her around for more than a single night?”

Netan narrowed his eyes at her. “So what exactly are you to Kefflin?”

She leaned close to his ear. “Loyal.”

Netan chuckled as she pulled back. “Good, though I would dearly love to know how one attains your loyalty.”

Nes took a sip of her drink. “You find yourself with a knife to your throat and make me a better offer.”

Netan’s smile faded. “You’re the rumoured assassin killing my Seconds.”

“Am I? That does sound a bit like me.”

“And you’re here to kill me.”

Nes let a smirk spread across her face. “No, actually, but surely you know that will come eventually. It may be in your best interests to make me a better offer now. I’m quite handy to have around if your leadership is further questioned.”

“What do you want?”

“The usual things - money, power - just more than I’ve been offered elsewhere.”

“Kefflin is my friend. He will not take that kind of betrayal lightly.”

“Let me handle that.” She drank back the last bit in her glass. “And may I offer some advice, Netan?”

He dipped his head in assent, though he clenched his jaw.

“We women appreciate displays of strength in our men. Your Seconds would appreciate the same in their leader.”

Netan didn’t respond and Nes set her glass down and moved towards the door.

“I think I’ll go check on Kefflin. Thank you for the drink...and conversation.”

“Inform Kefflin that we’ll be taking our meal shortly,” he said as she left and she gave a quick nod to let him know she had heard.

Now to convince Mitchell to play along. Nes suspected that might be the more difficult part of this little scheme.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Episode 10.09 “Company of Thieves”

Nes returned to the holding cell, screams coming from within, where the two guards allowed her entrance, though Mitchell ordered the doors closed again immediately, Teal’c feigning exhaustion.

“Having fun, boys?”

“Of course. I suppose you ran off with Netan?” Cam said, frustration in his voice.

“For a bit. I’m going to need you to gift me to him.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“And I would appreciate it if you were clear with him that I’m not your whore.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I offered my services to Netan, but he’s concerned about damaging his friendship with you...with Kefflin.”

“To what purpose are you aligning yourself with Netan, Nesert?” Teal’c may not be enduring torture from Cam, but he still had been roughed up a bit earlier and he clearly was weary of the game.

“If we don’t get the information we want before Kefflin overstays his welcome, then I’ll be able to remain behind.”

“We won’t leave you behind, Nes. Come on, you know that.”

“Don’t be foolish, Cam. I can take care of myself.”

Both men began to object, but she held up a hand to silence them again.

“Netan and some of the Seconds here are taking their meal shortly. This would be a good time to press Netan for information in front of his subordinates, Cam.”

Mitchell looked to Teal’c, who nodded, and he set down the pain stick. “Alright, let’s go. We’ll be back in a bit, Teal’c.”

“I will await your return most anxiously.”

Nes joined Cam as they made their way to the dining area, finding Netan sitting at the head of the table with various men, including the guard from before, sitting on either side. Netan turned his head to see them and motioned for them to enter, nodding to the guard.

“ **Vashin, make room.** ”

Vashin got up with a sullen expression, but moved to the wall as he was told. That didn’t stop his eyes from watching Nes carefully as she made her way to the other side of the room. She wanted a clear view of Cam’s face as he sat down at the table.

“ **This is Kefflin,** ” Netan said to the group.

A dark man sitting next to Netan turned to Cam with disgust. “ **I thought you did not like to show your face.** ”

Cam picked up a knife to study before stabbing a piece of food. “ **I'm seeing a therapist.** ”

Netan smirked at the comment. “ **This is Gavos,** ” he said as he nodded to the man who had spoken. He then moved around the table with names. “ **Slaviash, Karug, Millic, and Rameris.** ”

“Since when do we let a woman join our party?” Slaviash nodded up at her.

Before anyone could respond, a knife lodged itself into Slaviash’s meal, still vibrating from the impact. All the men twisted to look at Nes, though she was already returning to a relaxed position, a smirk on her face.

Netan looked at her appreciatively, clearly beginning to see what an asset she could be.

“This is Asra. She came with Kefflin and is welcome wherever he is.”

The men eyed her suspiciously, Gavos more than any of them, but finally he turned his attention back to the man he was told was Kefflin.

“ **What did you learn from the Jaffa?** ” he asked.

“ **Apparently, the rumors are true,** ” Cam began casually as he ate. “ **The Odyssey is still out there, in the hands of Anateo. The Tau'ri are in possession of an audio recording which indicates that he's in control of it.** ”

Gavos and Slaviash exchanged concerned looks, both eyeing Netan as his jaw tightened.

“ **I ordered the attack on the Odyssey,** ” Netan finally said. “ **It is time the Tau'ri were sent a message.** ”

“ **Where is the ship?** ” Gavos asked.

“ **I don't know. Anateo has betrayed us.** ” Netan was looking worse by the minute.

“ **Are you saying he succeeded in capturing the ship?** ” Slaviash asked with an amused expression.

Netan reached for his cup with agitation. “ **He hasn't reported in yet.** ” He spared a glance up at Nes, watching for her reaction, which was decidedly unimpressed by the exchange.

“ **The Tau'ri vessel is most powerful,** ” Gavos said. “ **You could not have possibly expected him to survive!** ”

“ **I gave him a strategy that** **_vastly_ ** **improved his odds. He came to me several months ago demanding more territory...as his planets had been overrun by the armies of the Ori. He suggested that he eliminate…you, Karug, take over your planets.** ”

Karug shifted nervously, but Gavos and Slaviash looked to one another before laughing together at the younger man’s reaction.

Cam wasn’t done yet, though. “ **Anateo hasn't just captured the Odyssey. He's using it to bait a trap for SG-1.** ”

The men became serious again and Netan brought a hand up to his mouth, fury beginning to radiate off him.

“ **He has lost his mind,** ” said Slaviash. “ **The Tau'ri will declare all out war on us!** ”

“ **You should have consulted with us, Netan** .” Gavos didn’t see the danger in reprimanding his leader.

Netan looked over at Nes for the smallest of moments before he stood up, pulled out his sidearm and shot Gavos square in the chest, who fell backwards in his chair dead.

Netan held the weapon up and Nes took a deep breath and let him see desire when he looked at her. “ **I need not consult with anyone!** ” His eyes were wild as he leaned towards the Seconds all looking at him in fear. “ **Now, is there anyone else who wants to challenge me? Anateo betrayed us all, and he will pay. And as for the Tau'ri, they were already at war with us and us with them, and I will not cower in fear. So spread the word. Send all available ships. I want the Odyssey found.** ” Netan glared at all of them as they still sat stunned. “ **NOW!”**

Everyone jumped up from the table to leave, Cam slower than the rest.

“ **Kefflin!** ”

Mitchell came around to stand next to Netan as they both looked down at Gavos’ body.

“ **Was it really necessary to embarrass me like that?** ” Netan asked.

“ **There have been whispers lately concerning the strength of your leadership. I suspect…those whispers will now stop.** ”

Netan closed his eyes for a moment and nodded. “ **For the time being.** ”

“ **You'll need someone to supervise Gavos' territory,** ” Cam said and Nes was impressed by his commitment to the role.

Netan looked over to him and smiled. “ **Your cut will be twenty percent.”**

Mitchell motioned for Nes to leave then, and she moved around Gavos’ body sprawled on the ground and toward the door. As she got near Netan, she leaned close to him and across the table, removing the knife she’d thrown earlier and giving the leader a quick wink before exiting the room.

Cam stayed to speak with him for a few more moments, but then once out in the hall, he grabbed her elbow to guide her back to where Teal’c was being held.

“You love this, don’t you?” Cam whispered as they walked.

“When are you most relaxed,  _ darling _ ?”

Cam stopped and looked at her. “In the woods, hunting bad guys and monsters.”

Nes gave him a smirk. “This is my woods. These are my monsters.”

He chuckled, nodding in understanding. “Guess we’re both kinda twisted that way.”

They continued down the corridors until they stood in front of the holding cell doors.

“Open the doors. I think there still may be information to glean from the prisoner.”

The guards opened it and the pair stepped in, waiting until the doors shut again before they began to converse with Teal’c, who looked a bit worse for wear.

“Did they torture you, Teal’c?” Nes asked as she lifted his chin.

“Some.”

“I’m sorry. I should have stayed.”

“Have you found the location of the Odyssey?”

“Not yet, but Netan is sending everyone out hunting for it.”

“That is good news, Colonel Mitchell.”

Nes straightened to look at Cam. “What did you speak to Netan about after I left?”

“I did as you asked. I told him that with all that is happening, the dissent amongst the Seconds, that you would be handy to have around...as a bodyguard. I also gave him a friendly warning that no matter how tempting you may seem, one of my men found out the hard way what happens to anyone who tries to get into your...bed.”

Nes smiled. “And what did I do to one of your men?”

“Oh, just Butcher stuff. You know, the usual.” He gave her a sideways glance. “Did you really take one of the Second’s eyes when you killed him?”

Sekhmet’s smirk altered her face entirely. “I didn’t like the way he looked at me.”

The doors of the cell began to open and Nes quickly leaned against the wall, an audience of one for the torture, as Netan looked around at them.

“ **Kefflin, what are you doing?** ”

“ **Interrogating the prisoner further.** ”

Netan clenched his jaw. “ **And what have you learned?** ”

Cam glanced at Teal’c again. “ **Not much yet.** ”

“ **Fine. Then we can kill him together.** ”

The colonel looked to Nes quickly before addressing Netan again. “ **Kill him?** ”

“ **We've learned all we can. Anateo has left us no choice. And I am committed to sending a message to the Tau'ri.** ”

Perhaps her speech about displays of strength had gone to his head a bit. Nes watched as Cam moved closer to the pain stick off to the side and let his fingers run across it.

“ **Netan, I have to admit…I was just beginning to enjoy this one.** ”

Netan smiled and chuckled at the statement. “ **I'm sorry, my old friend. Your fun is over.** ” He pulled out his sidearm and began to aim.

“Netan...do you mind if  _ I _ have a turn first? I enjoy his screams quite a bit.”

He looked her over and Mitchell took hold of the pain stick in anticipation. They were both ready to defend their friend in any way necessary.

“ **Netan!** ” Vashin’s voice called out and Netan lowered his weapon as he turned to see what was going on. The guard entered out of breath. “ **The Odyssey has been found.** ”

Teal’c straightened and Netan smiled at him before turning to leave.

“You don’t mind if I stay, do you, Kefflin?”

“Not at all, my dear. Enjoy.”

The doors closed behind Cam as he left and Nes grabbed the pain stick.

“I suppose we can play our old game, huh, Teal’c?”

“It has been a while.”

Nes chuckled. “Lifetimes, it seems…”

She jammed the stick into the wall and Teal’c let out a scream of intense agony. Over and over, they feigned torture, Nes finally giving him a break for a few moments, when the doors slid open yet again.

“ **Unchain the prisoner.** ” It was Mitchell carrying a zat’nik’tel. “ **He's coming with me.** ”

The guards undid the chains and Teal’c massaged his wrists, a dark look in his face. They all looked up as Vashin came into the room. Without warning, Teal’c slammed together the heads of the guards next to him and then leapt over their bodies to punch Vashin. And then punch him again... and again...and again. Vashin would be lucky to survive the jaffa’s anger at this point.

“ **Teal’c! Teal’c!** ” Cam tried to get his attention, but it was no use in his current state and he foolishly grabbed the jaffa’s arm, prompting Teal’c to swing around to put a hand on the colonel’s throat and push him into the wall.

“ **I have grown weary of this torture, Colonel Mitchell.** ”

“ **That's pretty obvious…but right now, we gotta go.** ”

Teal’c nodded and calmed, releasing him. He took Mitchell’s zat’nik’tel then and Cam reached down to take Vashin’s gun.

“You need a weapon, Nes?” he turned back to her.

“I always have plenty on hand,” she said with a smile, a knife appearing in her hand.

“Right...good. Let’s go.”

They made their way through the corridors, which were fortunately almost completely empty.

“ **You remember Tenat?** ”

Teal’c looked at him in surprise and recognition.

“ **Yeah, as in Jup and Tenat.** ”

“And who are they?” Nes asked.

“They’re smugglers that we scammed a while back when they tried to capture Vala for a bounty.”

“Lovely, go on.”

“ **Well, he somehow weaseled his way into commanding an Alliance mothership. And check this out, the incompetent twit actually found the Odyssey.** ”

Teal’c looked at Cam in disbelief. “ **Did he see you?** ”

“ **Yep, recognized me as well, but he's keeping his mouth shut because he figures I'm scamming Netan and he wants a piece of the action. We have to get over to his ship before this one jumps to hyperspace.** ”

“ **What is your plan?** ”

“ **Eh, I'm making it up as I go along** , but I was able to prick Tenat with the ring. Not entirely sure it works on his species, though.”

Nes had to chuckle slightly, but as they got to the ring room, killing the guards, Nes grew more serious. “I’ll stay behind.”

“You’ll what? No.”

“I can gain a lot of valuable information from Netan. Or kill him. Or both.” Sekhmet’s smirk appeared again.

Cam came toward her with a finger in her face. “Listen, you wanna come back later and hang out with Netan, be my guest, but right now you’re on  _ my _ team and there isn’t any way in hell I’m going to leave you behind.”

Nes sighed. “You military men do make life difficult sometimes.”

“Yeah, I read about what you did to Captain Elliot. Ain’t happenin’.” He grabbed her arm, shoved her towards the rings, and they moved over to this Tenat’s ha’tak.

Nes and Teal’c stayed behind while the colonel made his way to the bridge, hopefully deceiving Tenat into thinking he was Netan and getting him to fire on the other ha’tak, saying it was full of traitors who wished to usurp him. While he was gone, Teal’c worked to get in touch with the Odyssey once the firefight had begun.

“ **Odyssey, this is Teal'c. Do you copy?** ”

“ **Teal'c?** ”

He smiled at the familiar voice. “ **Daniel Jackson. It is good to hear your voice. Colonel Mitchell** , Nesert,  **and I are on board one of the motherships. Request that you beam us aboard the Odyssey immediately.** ”

A few moments later they were standing on the bridge of the Odyssey.

“ **Jackson...what are you doing sitting there?** ” Cam asked as he walked over to Daniel sitting in the captain’s chair.

“ **What are you wearing?** ” Daniel really shouldn’t be talking with his bounty hunter look.

“ **Oh,”** Mitchell looked down at the Lucian Alliance uniform he wore and straightened the tunic, “ **it's a…long story. Can we get out of here?** ”

“Sam and Vala are working on it.”

The comm activated and they heard Sam’s voice. “ **Daniel, try it now.** ”

While the two ha’taks continued to fire on one another, the Odyssey jumped into hyperspace to escape. Once safely away, Nes turned to Daniel with a dark expression.

“Where’s Anateo?”

“Oh...well, see...Vala beamed him off the ship.”

“Beamed him off the ship where?”

“Just...off. He was really not happy about it.”

Nes was angry at not being able to kill him personally, but a smile broke through as she thought of Anateo floating in space, realizing he was going to die. She let out a loud laugh, adrenaline and relief, escape and success all mixing into a now jovial mood.

“How do you know him, anyway?” Daniel asked.

“Nessie here was working as an assassin for him.”

“An assassin.  _ You _ ? No!” Daniel put a hand to his chest in mock surprise.

“I know. Who would have thought a delicate and gentle flower like myself could kill people for money?” She crossed her arms. “Still, killing for money is better than killing for pleasure, right?”

Teal’c raised an eyebrow and spoke to the others in a tired voice. “I am going to the infirmary.”

He started to leave and Nes only spoke louder. “No, but really, is that better?  _ Sex _ for money would be worse, though. Right?”

Daniel and Cam rolled their eyes and shook their heads, also moving towards the door.

“Help me out here, guys.” She followed them out. “Killing for pleasure: bad. Killing for money: not as bad? Sex for pleasure: fine. Sex for money: bad?”

Cam turned to Daniel. “I don’t remember her making my head hurt this much before.”

“You just haven’t known her as long.”

Nes jumped in between them with an arm around each of their shoulders. “Oh come on, you both love me.” She gave them each a kiss on the cheek before releasing them. “I’m gonna go find the other members of my club. People who  _ appreciate  _ me.”

She found Sam and Vala in the engine room and they were pleased to see her just as she had hoped.

“Great outfit, Nes,” Vala said as she looked at her. “You need to tell me where you find your clothes.”

“Of course,” she said with a laugh. “You two okay?”

“Yeah,” Sam said with a sigh. “Just glad it’s over.”

“Did Anateo...did he hurt you, Sam?”

“No. One of his men killed Colonel Emerson, though.”

Nes felt her stomach fall as guilt took over. “I’m sorry, Sam. This only happened because I was helping Anateo take out his competition.”

“You were helping him?!” Sam had every right to be as angry as she sounded.

“Not with this. I had no idea he was going to do this. Netan wanted to get rid of him, so he sent him on what he thought would be a suicide mission. He’d still be a nobody if I hadn’t teamed up with him, though.”

“Why did you? Team up with him, I mean?”

“I was in his territory. I needed a bigger ship to track the clones more easily. I figured I’d cause a bit of chaos within the Alliance with the assassinations as well, none of them knowing which Second was ordering the hits.”

“I think that sounds brilliant,” Vala said with a half smile.

“It’s not your fault, Nes. You couldn’t have known back then that it would lead to this.” Sam patted her shoulder gently.

“I’m gonna go change. They should have a uniform in my size, right?”

“Yeah, come on, I’ll show you where to find one.”

Nes got changed and then the three women sought out the other members of SG-1 and found Daniel and Cam as they came out of the lift.

“ **Where's Teal'c?** ” Sam asked.

Daniel looked at Cam. “ **Ah, he's in the infirmary.** ”

“ **Yeah, big boy got banged up a bit,** ” Mitchell said as he glanced at Nes.

“ **Oh. Hey, what happened?** ” Vala said excitedly. “ **How'd you get the Lucian Alliance to fire on each other?** ”

“I told her to ask you since I didn’t know all the details of how it went on the bridge,” Nes said when Cam gave her a confused look.

He turned back to Vala. “ **Oh, you'll love this…** ”

Sam interrupted. “ **Um, before you tell us. I got long-range communications back online and sent a message to Earth telling them that we'll be coming home.** ”

“ **Yeah, you should probably add that we have officially declared war on the Lucian Alliance.** ” Cam’s excitement with his story faded rapidly and everyone gave one another serious looks.

Sam gave a quick nod. “ **I did.** ”

They all exchanged stories then, making their way to the mess hall, most of them starving after their long ordeals.

“You’re not really going to go back to Netan, though, are you?” Daniel gave Nes a concerned look.

She shrugged, swallowing the mouthful of sandwich she’d been chewing. “It depends if he thinks that was the real Kefflin or not and where that would put me. I’ll listen for Alliance gossip, decide from there. I may just go to the real Kefflin, though.”

“He’s a brutal killer, Nes,” Cam said. “You heard Major Escher.”

“So am I. What’s your point?” She shifted fully into Sekhmet for a moment to emphasize her capabilities.

“Right. Still, why go to him?”

“Rumor is that he’s been trading with Ba’al. Anateo was looking into it for me, but obviously he won’t be much help anymore.”

Daniel smiled. “No...he won’t be much help to anyone anymore.”


	21. Chapter 21

The repairs to Nes’ al’kesh didn’t take long so she was on her way quickly, making her way to Alliance territory again. She spent her time in bars, listening to gossip from bartenders and traders as they all discussed the latest happenings amongst the leadership in the area.

The general consensus was that Tenat had been the traitor, working with Anateo to lure Netan to where the Odyssey was, hoping that the combination of that Tau’ri vessel as well as Tenat’s ha’tak would be the end of Netan. With Anateo’s failure, however, Tenat was left alone and foolishly still tried to destroy the ship anyway.

That may not have been  _ quite _ the story that was told at first, but Nes encouraged that version at every location she stopped at. Before long, that was the only way it could have happened - Tenat was too perfect of a scapegoat. She had high hopes that this story would get back to Netan himself eventually, and perhaps she would still be able to infiltrate his inner circle again.

Of course, Anateo had been confident that Kefflin was the one trading with Ba’al, but accessing him was a completely different set of risks. She still didn’t even know what he looked like, nor how to access his ship, and she certainly didn’t want to attempt a direct approach of simply asking for an audience. She’d be walking in blind.

Eventually, Nes took a job at Kefflin’s main Kassa plantation, hoping to get close to the man in charge. Jerlan went up to the command ship quite frequently to report on production. He had always been known for his demanding leadership, but his brutality had increased tenfold with all of the problems affecting the crops. Kefflin’s planets were yet untouched by the Ori, but the weather had been uncooperative in many areas, including Jerlan’s.

He regularly toured the fields and barns, wanting his own eyes to see every step of the process and make sure it was up to his standards. Nes had seen him once so far, from a distance. He looked to be in his mid thirties and was rumored to be a cousin of Kefflin’s, which explained his rise to such a position of power at such a young age. He wasn’t particularly handsome, his face far too stern and calculating, but it didn’t stop the women of the elite families from seeking him as a husband.

Jerlan seemed to have little interest in settling down, though, his eyes leering over every woman he saw, including Nes, and she saw it as a prime opportunity to persuade him into helping her access Kefflin. When he ordered her to be brought up to the main house for him to return to at the end of the day, Nes played the part of the terrified peasant. If men of power were in better control of their appetites, they would hold their power so much better and longer, but so many of them had the same weakness of taking all they could simply because there was no one to stop them. Or so they thought in their arrogance.

Nes was locked into a bedroom and told to clean herself up, which she did, and then she simply waited in agitation as their sun set. Jerlan entered looking tired and dusty, locking the door again behind him. He smiled when he saw her and it altered his appearance enough that she thought he probably could have been more attractive if he had lived a different life.

“You’re new to this work.”

Nes nodded.

He came closer and took one of her hands. “Did you run off from a wealthy family? Your hands are still soft and unscarred.”

“My father died and we lost everything.”

“Well, perhaps there is a different way for you to earn the money your family requires without the hard labor of the fields.” He took her chin in his hand and turned her face side to side to look at her. “Yes, I could add you to the other girls. You’d earn me quite a nice price.”

He was going to try prostituting her out! An Alliance pimp.

“Of course, I always prefer sampling the goods first.” He gave her the kind of smile that made her skin crawl. “Any objections?”

“Would it matter?”

“No.”

He leaned forward to kiss her, but Nes wasn’t even going to allow that, punching him in the throat to silence him and then getting behind him to drop him to his knees with a well placed kick. Nes grabbed his hair and pulled his head back as she brought a knife to his throat.

“You really should be more careful about who you bring up here, Jerlan. Not all of us are nice sweet girls.”

“What do you want?”

“You’re going to get me onto Kefflin’s ship.”

“Why would I do that?”

Nes pushed the knife into his skin, drawing blood and then cleaning the blade off on his cheek. “I could also just hope that your death would bring Kefflin down here, I suppose.”

“What do you want with him?”

“That’s my business.”

“And if I help you?”

“You’ll have a much better chance of staying alive.”

He swallowed hard as he thought. “I’m supposed to go to his ship tomorrow morning to report.”

“Perfect. In that case, I think it might be best if you get into bed.”

The fool smiled in his stupidity and stood slowly before sitting on the bed.

“Lie down,” she ordered and he gave her a seductive look which she returned with disgust as she tossed him some cloth from the bedding she’d already ripped into lengths. “Tie your legs up.”

Jerlan kept a hint of excitement in his eyes, probably hoping she still meant to amuse him for the night. Her own expression seemed to slowly shift him into doubt as she tied his wrists to the metal headboard and then finally he settled securely into disappointment when she shoved a last bunch of cloth into his mouth.

“Try to get some sleep,” she said with a pat on his cheek. Nes moved over to a chair and settled into it, closing her eyes, but only feigning sleep at first, waiting until Jerlan was breathing deeply. He didn’t move when she got up to check him and eventually she did sleep some, waking when someone knocked on the door.

“Jerlan!”

Nes moved to the bed with her knife out, motioning for the man lying there to remain silent. She pressed the blade to his throat and pulled the gag from his mouth.

“Say the right things, my dear,” she whispered, “or you won’t ever say anything again.”

He nodded. “I’ll skip breakfast this morning, Leshtan. Prepare my ship.”

She heard the man behind the door chuckle. “Very well.”

“Now,” she let the knife trail down his chest, “how will you explain my presence to Kefflin?”

“It won’t be the first time I’ve brought a...gift for him.”

Nes laughed to herself. So her deceptions to Netan had been more on point than she’d realized.

“Wonderful.” She climbed on top of him as she pulled out a small vial, plugging Jerlan’s nose until he opened his mouth, then poured the contents in and pressed his jaw closed again, forcing him to swallow. “That was a concoction of my very own, a poison that I have an antidote for on my cloaked ship. That should motivate you to play your role to perfection, don’t you think?  _ And _ make sure I get out alive as well.”

In truth, it was simple cough syrup, but how would he know? He certainly wouldn’t want to risk it.

“Now, are you going to cooperate and let me untie you without me having to kill you even more rapidly than the poison?”

He glared at her, but nodded and she slowly released him.

“I’ll need to get changed.”

“Let’s go then.” She gestured to the door and he moved towards it, but turned back to her.

“It might look more convincing if you didn’t have a knife on me.” He held out a hand and she took it, letting him guide them down the hall to a larger bedroom.

He began to unbutton his shirt, but paused and gave her a sharp look. “Do you mind?”

Nes smirked. “Not at all. Go on.” She leaned against the wall, disgusted with a man who would have forced himself on her the night before now acting shy at anyone seeing him fully.

She might kill him regardless of his help, she decided.

He got himself cleaned up and changed, making sure he was presentable for meeting with Kefflin, all the while annoyed at her watching him so carefully. She enjoyed making him uncomfortable, but the view itself wasn’t nearly as pleasing.

Nes would have appreciated a change in clothing as well, the dress she wore not doing justice to her features, but that would hardly go along with the role she was playing; her mannerisms much meeker than her true self would ever be.

She accompanied Jerlan to his cargo ship and he flew them close enough to the ha’tak to ring aboard. His hand firmly gripped her arm to guide her through the corridors, the men on board looking her over, possibly even hoping they’d have access to her at some point. She might just kill them all once she got what she needed.

“Kefflin, I’ve brought you a new distraction,” Jerlan said as they entered the throne room. “I think you’ll enjoy her longer than the last one.”

“I better. The last girl was only good for a single night before I was bored with her cries.”

A rough hand grabbed her downturned face and lifted it up, brushing her hair away so he could look at her clearly. The man was in his forties with a slicked back blonde ponytail, pale blue eyes, and a hard mouth that seemed to barely contain the quick temper he was said to have.

“Well, aren’t you exquisite?” He stroked her face and then let a hand skim down her body, finding it under the loose fabric. “Fine. Give her to the guards outside and have them take her to my quarters while we talk.”

Jerlan passed her off with a concerned look and then returned to speak to Kefflin about the plantations, while Nes was escorted down several corridors and locked into what must be his living quarters, a foolish move on his part. Nes immediately hunted through the space, establishing a plan of attack and removing several weapons that he had hidden in the furniture. She likely missed some, but could only hope they weren’t the ones he reached for.

When he arrived about an hour later, she jumped up from sitting on the bed and tried to move further into the room, tripping intentionally on a rug and falling to the floor. Kefflin laughed at her and came over with an extended hand.

“Lovely, but clumsy. A rather charming combination, I suppose.” His rough voice didn’t match the words, making them seem more of a mockery than he maybe intended.

She refused to take his hand and remained on the floor, letting her body shake slightly in fear. He crouched down and looked at her, his body entirely relaxed. She was no threat to him.

“Let me be very clear. You will do whatever I ask of you or I will hurt you. Do you understand?”

Nes nodded and choked back a sob which made him sneer at her.

“And stop crying. I had enough crying with the last girl.”

She nodded again and wiped her eyes, shifting her shoulders back and meeting his gaze.

“Much better.” He stood. “Get up.”

Nes obeyed.

“Go over to the bed while I get a drink.”

She didn’t move and soon his hand connected with her face.

“I was very clear.  _ Do as I say or I will hurt you _ .”

Nes grasped her cheek, but nodded and moved to the bed, watching him take a drink and wondering if he would fall for the poisoning trick as well. He threw back the dark liquid and walked towards her, undoing the belt and clasps on his uniform tunic.

Nes wasn’t going to entertain him even in the slightest. She had no reason to and she knew her strength was still superior to most normal men. So when he leaned down to her, she grabbed him by the throat and slammed him into the ground. She squeezed hard, digging her knee into his chest and cutting off his air supply almost completely. Both sides of her wanted to end his life completely - what a disgusting pathetic creature he was - but she needed information still, so she took a few breaths to calm herself and pulled out a knife to press to his throat instead.

“I will not be your entertainment for the day, Kefflin.”

“Who are you?” he choked out, gasping for air.

“I’m someone who knows why Netan suddenly distrusts you.”

He narrowed his eyes. “What do you want?”

“The usual things: money, power, but I also require information...information that I’ve been led to believe  _ you _ have.”

He tried to relax his body and gave her a smile that didn’t suit his face. “Why don’t we talk  _ without _ a knife to my throat then?”

“I’m quite comfortable just like this.”

“What do you know about Netan?”

“I think I should be the one to ask questions first, don’t you think?”

He just stared, so she reached out and grabbed his face to nod his head for him.

“Good, I’m glad you agree. You’re trading with the remaining goa’uld.”

Again, he remained silent so she pushed the blade harder into his skin.

“Yes,” he spat out at her.

“Ba’al?”

“Yes.”

“Good. I want to know what you’re trading him and who his contact is.”

“What do you want with him?”

“It’s not your turn yet. Now, are you going to give me everything about your dealings with Ba’al or do I need to take your head to a different Second and see what he can offer me? Perhaps Netan himself would like you as a trophy.”

Kefflin grabbed her wrist and pushed it away from his throat slightly, propping himself up on an elbow. “You’re the one killing Seconds.”

Nes trailed a finger down his jaw. “You’re all just so enjoyable to kill.”

He smirked. “Did you really take Ferdar’s eyes?”

She mirrored his expression.

“Before or after you killed him?”

“What would be the fun of taking them  _ afterwards _ ?”

He let out a loud laugh. “Who are you working for?”

“No one now. Netan is interested in my skills, however.”

“I imagine so. And you know what happened with the Tau’ri and Netan? Why he has shut me out?”

“I do. I may even be able to help you remedy the situation. Unless you simply wish to do away with him.”

“He is my friend,” he said with more conviction that she would have expected.

Nes shrugged. “What is friendship compared to power?”

He scrutinized her expression for a few moments before giving her a smile. “I think we can come to an arrangement for working together. And what should I call you?”

“Asra will be just fine.”

“Asra. A lovely name.” His hand slid up her thigh and she stabbed the back of it lightly with her knife, making him holler in pain.

“This will be strictly a business relationship, Kefflin.”

“That’s not nearly as enjoyable.”

Nes placed the tip of the knife near his left eye. “If you prefer, I can take one of  _ your _ eyes. That would at least be enjoyable for  _ me _ .”

His face broke into a smile. “I think we will work well together.”

Nes climbed off him and stood, her knife disappearing. “Now, you’re going to round up everything you have about Ba’al and his activities and then I’ll share what I know about Netan and you can decide what approach you’d like to take with him.”

Kefflin massaged his neck slightly before he, too, stood and went to pour himself another drink. He contacted one of his men to round up any records of their dealings with Ba’al and those they suspected were working with the goa’uld.

“Now, what happened with Netan?”

“I’m afraid there was an imposter who Netan believed to be you.”

“Netan would never be tricked by any imposter.”

“It’s amazing how easily the eyes can be fooled,” she said with a smile.

He clenched his jaw in anger. “And what did this imposter do?”

“Well, that’s where it gets tricky. It’s hard to say if Netan believes you were guilty of any wrongdoing. If you wish to restore the relationship, then I can accompany you and simply explain that I got you off the ship when things started to go badly.”

“You? You were with the imposter.”

“Netan believes I am your...bodyguard.”

He chuckled. “And Netan was likely quick to try stealing you away.”

“To his credit, he didn’t wish to betray you like that.”

“I can just tell him he was deceived.”

“He will never believe you. His own eyes tell him that it was you. The deception was very strong.”

“Who were you working with? I want his head.”

“Well, if you can find it, you can have it, but it’s not likely to be in good condition now.”

“Anateo.”

Nes shrugged.

“And why would you align yourself with him?”

“I was unfortunate enough to find myself in his territory and in need of a ship.”

He nodded in understanding - survival always compromised the ethics of those who operated with so few, even in ideal circumstances.

Kefflin gave her a pointed look. “Is Netan as weak as the others are whispering?”

“He is grasping in a panic, which is coming off as desperation rather than power.” Nes was matter-of-fact about the situation. Whether the two restored their friendship or not was of no concern to her. She planned to kill Kefflin eventually, anyway. Netan...she could probably spread the idea that the remaining Seconds should get rid of the current leader in order to strengthen the Alliance enough to stand against the Ori and Tau’ri.

With luck, she’d be able to get rid of both of them with ease and further disrupt the entire structure of the Lucian Alliance. She also hoped to gather intel to pass onto Stargate Command. They had the firepower to do more damage to the ships and physical infrastructure of the operations, while Nes could only spread suspicion and break down the cooperation of the various divisions and leaders.

Kefflin gave her what he had on a contact, a man he expected to return for another shipment of naquadah and various supplies in a month or so if he kept with his schedule. Then he sent a message to Netan to meet.

“You should insist on meeting alone. His men will not recognize you as yourself.”

“What did you do to fool Netan?”

“Trade secrets, my dear.”

He grabbed her face. “Fine, but if this is a trick, there is nothing that will stop me from pulling scream after scream from you until you beg for death.”

Nes laughed lightheartedly. “And the same threat stands for you. Which one of us do you think would survive?”

He scowled at her, but still remained confident that without her earlier deceptions to surprise him, he would be victorious in any battle with a woman.

Kefflin summoned Jerlan not long after. He appeared with concern in his eyes and sweat on his brow, which only increased as he saw Nes sitting comfortably at a desk poring over various documents.

“You gifted me with an assassin, Jerlan.”

“Cousin, I had no idea. I swear. She was just a field worker!”

Nes could hear the pathetic attempts at deception in his voice, but she was unsure if Kefflin could. He himself had been fooled as well, so he might be lenient, despite his reputation as a less than merciful leader.

Kefflin paused in front of the younger man. “I will let you live only because our mothers would never let me hear the end of it if I killed you, but even that inconvenience will not stop me if you make any more mistakes.”

“Yes, Kefflin,” Jerlan said with a bowed head.

Nes came forward then and let a hand glide over Jerlan’s chest. “If you do decide to kill him later, Kefflin, I would very much want some time with him first.”

Jerlan smiled as she slipped a vial into his palm. This time, she had chosen some allergy medication.

She twisted her face into Sekhmet’s smirk. “I would enjoy killing him slowly, beginning with cutting off every part of him that touched me.”

Jerlan’s smile fell and he swallowed hard, his cousin giving a deep laugh at his fear.

“I will certainly accept your assistance, Asra. I would enjoy seeing you work.”

******

Netan agreed to meet at a neutral location, each bringing a single guard; Kefflin obviously choosing Nes. Netan was being far too trusting, but Nes imagined he was hopeful more than anything else. With his empire crumbling, he wanted to believe that Kefflin was still a loyal friend.

Nes followed Kefflin into the small village bar and Netan stood as he saw them, but his face was cautious and angry.

“Kefflin. Asra.” He nodded to each of them and gestured for them to sit.

This was hardly the same greeting he had given Mitchell posing as Kefflin, but that wasn’t surprising.

“My friend, this has all been a misunderstanding,” Kefflin began. “I am afraid Asra takes her position very seriously and was quick to move me off your ha’tak when the situation became...unpredictable.”

He was a good liar and Nes kept herself stoic, unapologetic for her actions.

“And you felt the need to kill Vashin? And what of Teal’c?”

Nes pushed her shoulders back. “Vashin is to blame for that. I assume he didn’t appreciate being made to look the fool. As for Teal’c...” she shrugged “...he escaped when Vashin attacked and was not my responsibility.”

Netan narrowed his eyes at her, his jaw tight as he tried to assess the truth.

She gave him a coy smile. “You can hardly blame us for leaving after one of  _ your _ men tried to kill us, Netan.”

It was fortunate that all of those who could deny her lies were already dead. It saved so much time and energy.

“Netan,” Kefflin began, “how long have we been friends? Why would I betray you? You know I have no wish to lead the Alliance.”

Netan had a small smile cross his face. “Yes, you have always preferred the shadows... _ friend _ .”

Kefflin gave him a grin and leaned forward to slap Netan’s back. He turned to the bartender to have him send drinks for their table, the friendship restored with a few well-placed lies. How simple men could be.

Nes sat back, leaving her drink untouched, and Kefflin eventually drank it for her with a smile. It was interesting watching the two men interact. She knew the truth of it after her time with the goa’uld, but it still was fascinating to her that even those who would destroy lives around them without hesitation could still have relationships with love and trust.

Why did she think it was so impossible for herself, then?

She suddenly became aware that her mind had wandered, and found the two men looking her over, alcohol running through their blood.

“So will you still gift her to me, my friend?”

Kefflin brought a hand to her face. “What will you give me in return? I’ve become quite attached.”

“I offered you twenty percent of Gavos’ territory. I’ll give you thirty instead.”

Kefflin let his fingers trail across her cheek and lips, clearly enjoying how her jaw twitched in restrained fury. “Forty-five percent.”

“Done.”

“And did she really chop up one of your men who made his way to her room one night?”

Nes took hold of Kefflin’s hand and slammed it into the table, earning her a quick holler of pain from him, but also a punch to her jaw.

Kefflin put a finger in her face, but kept his voice quiet. “You will remember your place.”

“As long as you remember that it is  _ not _ under you.”

Kefflin chuckled and gave her cheek a pat before turning back to his friend. “Netan, you will have to see if you can tame her.”

“She is far too useful to be tamed.”

Nes bowed her head in thanks to her new master, hopeful that he would leave her be long enough for her to accomplish her various goals. It’d be a pity to have to kill him too soon, especially after all of this effort.

The men drank more, but kept themselves in control enough to remain aware of their surroundings. You didn’t get to their levels of power by drinking yourself into a stupor in public places where someone might want to take your head. Eventually they both agreed they needed to return to their ships and Nes pulled Kefflin off to the side.

“I expect to hear from you when Ba’al’s contact sets a meeting.”

Too many drinks still flooding his system, Kefflin leaned forward and kissed her gently. “Of course, my dear. You have already helped me a great deal, restoring things with Netan and gaining me a large share of Gavos’ territory.”

He grew bolder then and tried to kiss her more deeply, but she shoved him off. He turned again to Netan with a laugh. “Remember, friend, she is yours now. I will not be held responsible for her temper.”

Netan smiled, but then turned to Nes with hard look. “Come, Asra.”

Nes closed her eyes for a moment, disgusted with being treated like a trained dog, but finding solace in the deaths she knew they would both meet when she was done with them.

They didn’t know they were really dealing with a lion.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Episode 10.15 “Bounty”

Netan kept a close eye on Nes at first, putting a guard at her door for a while, but she slowly gained his trust and he finally called her to the throne room one afternoon with a special task for her.

“I’ve begun to hear rumors that one of my Seconds, Trened, is spending a bit too much time getting drunk and speaking ill of his superiors.”

“Well, that’s rather unwise of him.”

“It is. And I’ve lost my patience for that kind of behavior.”

“So you would like his territories passed on to someone else?”

He smiled at her insinuation. “That’s one way of putting it.”

“How would you like it done? Do you want to claim it, send a message to the others? Or would you prefer to keep your involvement quiet?”

“What are your thoughts?”

Nes gave him a small smile, unsure if he was genuinely seeking her opinion or playing a slow game of winning her favor.

“You do not wish your subordinates to be so fearful that they mutiny. You already killed Gavos for questioning you. Perhaps it would be best for Trened to die a quieter death. The others won’t know if it was you or one of the other Seconds and it will keep them from trusting one another enough to join together.”

“You are more than just an assassin, my dear. You have a keen mind for strategy.”

“People are easy enough to understand and predict.”

“What was your life before this?”

“One that taught me all of the admirable skills you see before you.”

Netan chuckled. “Very well. Deal with Trened quietly and then return.”

“I have a few matters to attend to before I return.”

“Such as?”

Nes crossed her arms and stood her ground.

“The mystery that was initially alluring is becoming more frustrating, Asra.”

“I am not here to satisfy your curiosity. And I’ll need a ship.” She’d hidden her al’kesh before joining with Kefflin, not wanting to risk the beaming technology being discovered, but she could always retrieve it if she got any information that allowed her to track down Ba’al or his cloning facilities.

“Fine. I’ll get you a ship.” He looked back down at his desk and dismissed her with a wave of his hand.

Trened’s planets were on the outskirts of Alliance space, which is likely why he felt safe enough to have a running public commentary on Netan’s leadership whenever he’d had a bit too much to drink. He was easy enough to locate and easy enough to lure away from a bar and easy enough to kill. Nes didn’t even bother waiting until he’d sobered, especially since she staged it as a simple robbery that no one would really believe.

She then made her way back to Kefflin’s ship, which he usually kept in his own more central territories. The Second informed her that he had a meeting scheduled with his Ba’al contact for that next week so she hung around for a bit, annoyed with the lack of activity and purpose. After retrieving her al’kesh, she ended up spending a good portion of her time down on the planet, going for long runs in the fields and taking note of the kassa production. She’d already compiled quite a bit of information, but when she ran across a schedule of kassa shipments, she made her way to a planet with an unattended Stargate and dialed Earth to send the data through. She wished she could have delivered it personally, but there wasn’t the time for that kind of trip.

Kefflin allowed Nes to accompany him, though she disguised herself in case it was one of the clones he met with. She recognized the man immediately as a loyal servant to Ba’al, one of his lo’taurs, willing to do whatever his master requested in hopes that someday he would be granted the privilege of implantation. She pitied him. He’d been brought up in Ba’al’s service since childhood and though he did not believe the goa’uld were gods, he certainly believed them to be powerful. He simply did not understand that he would be lost if taken as a host.

She saw no recognition on his face, fortunately, not seeing his lord’s queen, but just a lowly servant girl attending to Kefflin’s needs.

“I’ll need more naquadah this shipment.”

“Well then you’ll have to give me more than in the past.”

“Of course.”

“What’s your master doing with all of this anyway?”

“We agreed there would be no questions.”

Kefflin bowed his head in assent, though he spat out the words. “Of course.”

The two men spent the next hour agreeing to terms and scheduling shipments. Nes was annoyed that the shipments were far too soon for her to get any word to Stargate Command, but she was able to plant a locator beacon on the lo’taur before he left, so she would just need to get to her al’kesh to track him. She would also try to place one within the containers scheduled for shipment, though they were more likely to be searched.

Within two days, the lo’taur’s ship came out of hyperspace and Nes took her ship the same direction, dropping back into normal space rather frequently to check the beacon’s position. When she finally arrived, Nes found herself cloaked above a green planet with a single collection of structures on the surface. With the only signal being the one she’d planted on the lo’taur, she didn’t have high hopes of this being a cloning facility, but beamed down to scout things out.

Nes went slowly and quietly through the surrounding forest as she crept closer to the facility. She could see movement ahead of her and voices started to stream back to where she hid in the brush. She continued on, taking her time to avoid detection.

The voices grew louder.

Familiar voices.

Ba’al’s voice.

Multiplied.

Her eyes confirmed it. Multiple clones wandered the grounds.

There were clones that didn’t have the locator beacons she was tracking.

Either they didn’t contain beacons at all or Ba’al had changed the frequency, which shouldn’t be surprising after Kappa essentially handed Stargate Command a way to track himself and his brothers. But what now? She could find a way to destroy this facility, but with no way to find the other clones, she would barely hamper his clone production. And there was simply no way that this was the only one. She knew Ba’al well enough for that.

She could try capturing one of the clones, try to get the new frequency, but Ba’al would likely just change it again once he realized one had been taken. She observed as much as she could in the short amount of time she felt comfortable staying on the surface. Once she beamed back up to her ship, panic started to take hold.

How was she ever going to stop him? There were so many and she had no way to find them. Despair took over and fear wrapped itself around her chest, as well.

She’d never be free of him.

Nes sat up in orbit for a long time trying to come up with a plan, but she finally had to admit that she simply did not have the necessary tools to deal with the hidden base. Her ship would be no match for any shields or defensive capabilities he likely had in place, she had no way to infiltrate the facility itself, nor did she have any explosive devices capable of destroying so many buildings. She’d have to take this one back to Earth. Surely Sam would have an idea of some kind.

She finally guided her ship away from the planet, taking it far enough out to jump into hyperspace without being detected. Nes wanted to just go home, but she needed to check in with Netan first if she wanted any hope of returning to him again later.

It was a few days to get back and Netan was certainly tense when she arrived, giving her a look of disgust and dismissing his men from the room.

“You are trying my patience, Asra. You belong to me.”

“I belong to no one. I have been willing to offer my assistance  _ for the time being _ and nothing more.” She needed to calm him and direct the conversation elsewhere or he would be dead before she was ready. “I do apologize for my absence being longer than you expected, though. What did I miss while I was away?”

Netan slammed his hand down onto the table covered in papers in front of him. “SG-1 has taken out three shipments of kassa, destroying the shipping containers as well as the ships moving them.”

“What do the Tau’ri care about kassa?”

“ **This isn't about kassa! This is about them trying to make me look weak. I can't allow them to interfere with our operations any longer.** ”

“What can you do? After that fiasco with Anateo…”

“I’ve placed a bounty on their heads.”

Shit.

“A bounty? That should be  _ my  _ job!”

Netan came around the table and put his face close to hers. “You were not HERE!!”

Nes shut her eyes and leaned back involuntarily as he yelled, but he grabbed her face roughly to pull her back to him.

“I’m beginning to wonder what use you are if you’re never here when I need you.”

“Let me go after SG-1, Netan. I will do a far better job than the rabble of scum who call themselves bounty hunters.”

He was getting desperate, that much was clear, and his unpredictability was likely going to become a problem for Nes and her personal safety.

Netan looked over her face carefully. “Go then. Bring me their heads and I will reward you. They were tagged during their last assault so you should have no trouble finding them.”

He still didn’t release her, but Nes held his gaze, not showing any weakness.

“You can leave tomorrow.”

“I’ll leave now.”

“You’ll leave tomorrow,” he said again as he pulled her into a kiss. Nes initially resisted, but she could feel Netan’s frustration increasing. She needed to get away from him, off this ship, and back to Earth.

“Netan…” She pushed back enough to give him a smile. “I will be able to focus much more  _ after _ I have completed my task.”

“I do not require your  _ focus _ , Asra.”

Nes pressed herself against him. “I assure you. It would be worth the wait. But right now I have one thing on my mind and you may not appreciate the results of taking an assassin to bed when she can only think of killing.”

He looked at her skeptically.

“I’m liable to get distracted.” She pulled back. “And you’re liable to end up dead.”

Netan clenched his jaw as he thought.

“I’ll return shortly this time,” she continued in a soothing tone.

“Will you?”

“Of course. The truth is...I rather missed your company when I was away.”

Such a bold faced lie, but lies were more about those they were being told to, what they wanted to hear, what little voices of truth they were willing to dismiss. Netan wanted power and control and Asra had become a symbol of that in some ways. Her devotion, so difficult to obtain, was precisely what he wanted to hear, no matter how distrustful the speaker.

“Fine. I will see you when you return.”

Nes kissed him lightly. “I look forward to it.”

She kept her pace relaxed as she left, but every muscle was taut, ready to run if anyone threatened to block her path. She would never be returning, except possibly to kill Netan if she couldn’t get someone else to do it.

She smiled to herself at how much more willing to outsource she was now. She had been so reluctant to share even recently and completely  _ unable _ to share before that. She’d needed those deaths, but now...she really only needed to be home, to be done with living like this.

Nes took the extra time to get her al’kesh, needing its beaming technology, but also because it would be significantly faster than the tel’tak Netan had lent her. She needed speed if she was going to stop the slew of bounty hunters that now sought SG-1.

*****

When Nes arrived above Earth, she was able to locate SG-1 with the exotic radiation tags in a small town in...Kansas? What on earth were they doing there? Nes beamed herself down to find them searching with a team in a field.

“What on earth are you guys doing?”

“Nes! When did you get back?” Sam asked in surprise.

“Just now. Netan put a bounty on your heads.”

“Well, that makes sense.” Daniel looked to Sam and Teal’c with a nod.

“What are you guys looking for? And where are Cam and Vala?”

“There’s a cloaked ship here, probably belonging to one of the bounty hunters. Cam and Vala are at his high school reunion, probably being  _ held _ by the bounty hunter.” Sam started walking again, looking down at a device. “It should just be right up ahead.”

“How’d you know about the bounty?” Daniel asked Nes.

“Working for Netan now. I was checking on a lead on Ba’al when he got particularly pissed off at you guys for the kassa shipment hits.”

“Thanks for that, by the way.” Daniel gave her a smile.

“You’re welcome,” she said with a grin, surprised by how a simple thanks could lighten her so much. “Anyway, so because I wasn’t around, he put out a bounty instead of just sending me.”

“So you have once again become an assassin for the Lucian Alliance,” Teal’c said.

“Worked for Kefflin for a while, got traded to Netan.” They all turned to look at her. “It’s a long story. I’ll tell it later. So what’s the plan once you find the ship?”

“Well, I’m hoping we can use the Asgard holographic technology to trick him in some way. The team we sent over to the school said things are calm for the moment.”

“If there is a bounty placed on us, then he will want all of us, not just Colonel Mitchell and Vala Mal Doran.”

Nes nodded to Teal’c in agreement. “Vala isn’t included in the bounty, but Netan is offering a bonus for her.”

“Well, Vala didn’t get tagged. She was piloting the cargo ship while we placed explosives on the containers.” Daniel stopped for a moment to pull a few burrs off his pant leg before continuing on.

“Here it is, guys.” Sam had stopped walking and then leaned down to pick up a rock, which she tossed out in front of her, and they all saw it hit an invisible object, the air rippling out from the rock’s impact.

“Well, let’s see if we can get on board,” Nes said as she moved forward and let her hand trail across the hull of the ship, relying on feel rather than sight. “The door should be just...about...here.” Her hand found a panel and a door opened to reveal the interior of the ship, though the exterior was still invisible to them. “Ta-dah!”

They all entered the ship and Sam sat down in the pilot’s chair. “Looks like there’s a command code we’d need to override. Just give me a few minutes.”

The door of the ship closed and the engines began powering up.

“Umm...Sam? Is that you?” Daniel asked as he walked over to the door.

“Not me. It must be an autopilot or remote system.”

Their radios activated. “SG-1, there was some commotion inside the school and the gym doors are now magnetically sealed.”

“Well, if you’re going to trick this guy, I suggest you set things up now rather than later,” Nes said as the ship took off. She looked out the windows and could see them moving over the town towards what she expected was probably the local high school. “He must have called the ship to him. I think we’re over the school gym. He’s going to use the rings! Think the school’s insurance covers that kind of damage?”

Sam explained her plan briefly and then came back to the bridge to tap into the ship’s communication system. “ **This is Colonel Carter of SG-1. Once all the hostages have been released, we are willing to beam in.** ”

A voice came back to them. “ **Negative. You and SG-1 beam in first, unarmed, and then I'll let everyone go.** ”

“Alright, Nes, just push this button and hopefully he’ll believe that it’s really us beaming down.”

Nes did as Sam had directed once she, Daniel, and Teal’c were all in position. Once the system was activated, the rest of the team’s eyes glazed over and Nes knew their eyes were now seeing what was below them in the school gym.

“ **Over there, please!** ” the voice said again, and Nes was grateful she could at least hear what was going on as the team walked over to the other side of the field they’d created. “ **Colonel Mitchell, Vala, would you mind joining the others? Turn around.** ”

Sam, Daniel, and Teal’c all turned around as ordered by the bounty hunter.

“ **So what's your endgame, Ventrell?** ” It was Cam’s voice. “ **You know we're not just gonna let you walk outta here.** ”

“ **Never planned on it,”** and with that, the rings activated and Nes saw three forms facing the back wall appear behind the others. Sam and Teal’c left the holographic field and pointed their weapons towards the bounty hunter.

“ **Hello,** ” Sam said with a smile as he turned around and saw them.

Cam came forward and disarmed the man wearing a suit and not looking the part of an offworld bounty hunter. Nes was impressed with his ability to blend in.

Daniel, still in the field, then waved cheerily to the remaining reunion attendees. “ **It's okay. You're all safe now.** ”

“ **Yeah, but what happened to Vala?** ” a voice yelled.

Sam turned around and deactivated the projection system and then Teal’c handed ties to Mitchell who held them out to Vala.

“ **How did you do that?** ” she asked as she took the ties. “ **Oh, allow me!** ” Vala grabbed the bounty hunter’s hands and pulled them behind his back to secure.

“ **We located this vessel in a field several miles from here,** ” Teal’c said.

Sam continued. “ **We were onboard trying to override the command code when it was remotely activated and flown onto the roof of the school.** ”

Daniel gave a smile. “ **That's right! You brought us to you.** ”

Vala finished tying his wrists and then placed her hands and chin onto the man’s shoulder, looking up at him playfully.

“ **After that it was a simple matter of activating Chimera. It's an Asgard holographic projection system. It made it look like we'd beamed in.** ” Sam raised her eyebrows triumphantly.

“ **And you might have gotten away with it, too, if it wasn't for us meddling kids.** ” Daniel’s snark made Nes chuckle in the background. Too bad the offworlder wouldn’t get the reference.

“ **So much for your big payday,** ” Mitchell said to the bounty hunter.

“ **Well I may not be able to collect, but it doesn't mean others won't try.** ”

“ **Unless there's a bigger payday waiting somewhere else.** ” Cam looked over at Nes as she came forward with a nod.

“ **What are you talking about?** ” The man turned to look back at the colonel.

“ **Well I've had some experience recently dealing with the Lucian Alliance. I know for a fact that some of Netan's seconds are starting to question his leadership. After this little fiasco, it's only gonna get worse.** ”

“ **Indeed.** ” Teal’c smirked slightly. “ **With his failure to eliminate us yet again, he will only appear weaker than before.** ”

“ **No doubt about it,** ” Cam continued. “ **There is blood in the water. The only question is, which enterprising shark will be the first to take advantage of it.** ”

Nes moved closer to the bounty hunter. “Give me a few days and I’ll have the Seconds offering twice what Netan offered for SG-1.”

“And how will you do that?”

“I have my ways. I’ll even help you get Netan.”

“I won’t require any  _ help _ .”

Nes shrugged with a small smile. “Suit yourself, but if you fail, I’ll kill both Netan  _ and  _ you.”

He narrowed his eyes at her. “And who the hell are you? You’re not a part of SG-1.”

She smiled sadistically. “A shadow feared by all the Seconds.”

“The assassin,” he said with an impressed smile. “And you’re working with the Tau’ri.”

Nes leaned forward to whisper in his ear. “I align myself with whoever will further my own goals.” She straightened again. “I’ll go to Kefflin first. He and Netan are friends, but I expect he’ll see that the Alliance requires new leadership.”

“Kefflin will never see you.”

“Kefflin  _ always _ takes time to see me when I call.”

He smirked at her with surprise, but nodded. “In that case, I will wait to hear and then collect that payment. I have no personal interest in who I go after.”

“You bounty hunters rarely do,” Vala said with bitterness. “And you’ve always been one of the worst, Ventrell.”

“Odai Ventrell?” Nes crossed her arms as she looked him over. Now she recalled Cam using the name earlier, but she’d been too distracted to process it. “Well, this is an honor. Asra Ashad.” She held out a hand and then laughed cruelly. “Oh, I forgot. You’re tied up.”

Ventrell gave her an annoyed smile. “Perhaps you should release me so that I can move on Netan.”

Nes looked to Cam with a questioning glance.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let us at least get off the damn ship first.”

“Command code, please?” Sam said.

Ventrell looked around, but finally took a deep breath of resignation and gave them the command code so they could fly the ship and land.

Nes let him know where Netan’s ship should be and then they released him, all crossing their fingers that he would do as he promised.

“You’re really willing to let him take out Netan?” Cam asked Nes as they watched the ship take off and cloak again. “I thought you didn’t like to share.”

“I’m maturing in my old age.” She turned to the others. “I better get to my side of things. Hopefully it won’t take much time.”

“And you really think Kefflin will turn on Netan?” Daniel asked.

Nes shrugged. “If necessary, he’ll do it with a knife to his throat.” She smiled and waved before beaming back up to her al’kesh and directing it towards Alliance space.

Kefflin was pleased to see her, though once he saw her expression, his pleasure decreased significantly.

“I’m afraid Netan needs to be dealt with.”

“Dealt with?”

“Do I need to spell it out for you? He is growing careless and desperate. He will destroy the Alliance entirely if you allow him to continue to lead.”

Kefflin’s jaw went hard and he glared at her. “He is my friend! And  _ you _ are supposed to protect him.”

“His behavior is more likely to have me kill him instead.”

“And what would you have me do? Send you?”

“Place a bounty on his head. Let the other Seconds stand with you.”

“Betray him.”

“I suppose you can just throw away everything you’ve worked for instead,” Nes said with a shrug of disdain.

He brought a finger to point in her face. “Do not be so flippant with his life, Asra.”

Nes decided a different approach was necessary.

“Spread the word of the bounty. I will get Netan to safety and you can report to the Seconds that he’s been killed.”

He narrowed his eyes at her as he thought.

“I will explain to Netan that you saw it as the only way to save his life,” Nes said with a bow of the head.

Kefflin finally gave her a sharp nod. “Do it.”

Nes turned and left the room immediately, walking at as fast of a pace as she could, while still not causing a panic. She needed to get to Netan before Ventrell did.

She pushed her engines as hard as she dared and arrived at Netan’s command ship with caution, but she didn’t note anything to cause alarm. After ringing aboard, she sought out Netan in the throne room, finding him standing behind a table and looking out the window.

“You’ve killed SG-1 much faster than I anticipated.”

“They’re not dead.”

Netan’s jaw twitched and he slammed his fist onto the table. “What do you mean they’re not dead? Why have you returned in failure?”

“Because a new bounty has been placed on  _ your _ head...by Kefflin.”

His eyes darted side to side as he tried to process this information. “No. Kefflin would never betray me in that way.”

“The other Seconds have joined him.”

“No!”

Just then the pair heard shots fired in the corridor and two of Netan’s men ran past the doorway. It was already too late. Nes saw an arm of one of the men lying on the ground, likely still connected to his dead body just around the corner, and a large hulk of a man came stomping towards them, raising his gun. Nes reached for a knife, but before she could kill the man, a gun fired.

Netan flinched as though he’d been shot, but instead the apparent bounty hunter fell to the ground revealing Ventrell behind him, who lowered his gun and sauntered towards Netan, not seeing Nes in the shadows just yet.

“ **Well done,** ” Netan said to him in relief. “ **You saved my life. You'll be richly rewarded.** ”

“ **I know I will. But not for saving you.** ” Ventrell raised his gun and Netan glanced towards Nes off to the side. The bounty hunter saw her then and smiled. “I’m surprised to see you here.”

“Yes, I suppose it is rather odd, isn’t it?”

“What’s he talking about, Asra?” Netan’s voice held anger and fear.

Nes ignored him and kept her focus on Ventrell. “If you let me kill him, I’ll let you keep the bounty.”

“Asra!”

Ventrell looked at her skeptically. “Why?”

“Because I have no need of the money, but I have been waiting an awfully long time to see Netan dead.”

“You are loyal to ME!”

“Shh!” Nes said to Netan, bringing a finger to her lips. “The grownups are talking now.”

“I’m impressed you managed to get Kefflin to offer the bounty,” Ventrell said, his gun still trained on his target.

“You? Asra, why?”

Nes flung a knife at Netan and it lodged in his arm. “I told you to be quiet.” She turned back to Ventrell as Netan grasped at his arm. “Well, I did tell him that I would save Netan and only  _ say _ that he was killed. That made him more willing.”

“So you’re expecting me to lie about killing him while you hide him.”

“No, I’m definitely going to kill him, but I want to be able to go back and kill Kefflin as well.”

“You tricked us!” Netan tried to reach for his sidearm and Nes threw another knife into his hand.

“Yes, I did. Rather brilliantly as well. You know, it wasn’t even Kefflin with me that first time we met, but I still convinced him later to go along with the ruse.” She turned back to Ventrell. “It really is amazing the things men will do when they’re distracted by...me.”

Ventrell chuckled. “Yes, I imagine you can be quite distracting. Shall we finish this?”

“Together?” Nes said with a smile, unholstering her own gun.

“It would be an honor.”

They both took aim as Netan backed away towards the wall.

“Please, Asra. I’ll offer you anything.”

They weren’t brilliant last words, full of cowardice, but they were the ones he chose nonetheless and Nes was left with a fairly high level of giddiness as he slumped against the wall with empty eyes.

“I would recommend you approach Slaviash with the body to collect, as Kefflin will not be in any state to pay you when I’m done with him.”

“Why  _ are _ you killing them, anyway?” Ventrell asked as they approached the body, Nes retrieving her knives and wiping them on Netan’s uniform.

“Oh, it’s all rather complicated, but I think I’m going to stop, at least for a while now. I need some time lying on a beach with a very strong drink in my hand.”

“Need company?” He gave her a wink.

Nes chuckled. “You’d be pricing my head before I even began to relax.”

He shrugged. “I’d likely wait until we’d enjoyed ourselves.”

“You wouldn’t like my choice of activity.” She shifted fully into Sekhmet’s prowl. “You wouldn’t survive either.”

Ventrell laughed loudly. “Very well.”

“I’ll take his lapel to show Kefflin, if you don’t mind, but you can have the rest of him.” She cut off the section of uniform with four gold bars pinned to it, showing his rank, and then stood. “I’ll be going now. You’re good to get out, right?”

“I should be fine. Enjoy your beach.”

“Enjoy your payday.”

Nes took off at a sprint down the corridors and made her way to the closest set of rings to get to her ship. She should be able to reach Kefflin long before Ventrell made it to any of the planets of Slaviash. Then she’d be able to skip home with both of them dead.

*****

Nes was escorted to the throne room where she tossed the lapel down onto the desk in front of Kefflin. “It’s done.”

“He’s safe?”

“He is currently aboard a tel’tac.”

“Good. You’ve done well.”

Nes pulled out her gun and aimed it at his head. “Tell the bridge to lower the shields.”

“What are you doing?”

“Just do it.”

“Or what? You’ll kill me? You’ll never make it off this ship.”

“Lower the shields, Kefflin.”

He glared at her, but finally contacted the bridge and instructed them as she’d said.

“Thank you.” She gave him a smile. “Now you can join Netan.”

“You said he was on a tel’tac.”

“He is. Well, his body is. I meant you could join him in hell.”

Kefflin tried to reach for his weapon, but Nes was too quick, shooting him clean in the forehead and sending him falling backwards into his chair. With the shields down, she beamed away with ease and, once in hyperspace headed back to Earth, congratulated herself on her success. She even celebrated with a bottle of some exotic liquor she’d been keeping on board for just such an occasion.

She enjoyed being a lion.


	23. Chapter 23

Nes sauntered into the SGC briefing room, barely able to contain her own arrogance as she sat down at the end of the table facing General Landry and SG-1.

“Well, both Netan and Kefflin are dead. That should disrupt the Lucian Alliance for a while.”

Everyone just stared and Nes’ heart started to race.

“I also found one of Ba’al’s cloning facilities. I’ll need some help with destroying it, though. I didn’t have the necessary firepower that you all are so fond of.”

Still no one spoke, though they did all exchange concerned glances.

“Here.”

She slid a hard drive containing the data across the table while the silence continued. Nes swallowed hard as fear tightened her throat and dried her mouth. She didn’t want to hear what awful news they were going to tell her. She even briefly contemplated running from the room, up to the surface, and beaming aboard her ship to keep the bad news at bay.

“Nes…” General Landry began. “Your brother, Nathan, has been hurt.”

“How badly?” she choked out.

Sam let out a slow breath. “We’re not entirely sure, but I think it’s pretty bad. They were rescuing an injured soldier when a secondary device went off.”

Nes closed her eyes. This was her fault. “Is he going to make it?”

“Nes…”

She stood up in frustration and anger. “Stop it. I don’t want a softened version of it.”

“He lost a leg, but the real concern is brain damage,” Cam said matter-of-factly.

Nes slumped back into her chair, nausea threatening to bring up her hastily eaten lunch. “I should have been there.”

“Nes, there’s nothing you could have done.” Daniel knew all about not being able to save everyone, but it only irritated her.

“There’s lots I could have done!” she yelled, her voice naturally switching to its distorted tone with her intense emotion. “I should have never let him go to war! I should have been there to protect him!”

Cam stood up. “Your brother wanted to help people and he’s a hero for it. Don’t think for one second that you would have helped him by sheltering him away in one of your houses while his brothers died. He would have  _ despised _ you, no matter how luxurious you made the prison.”

Nes stared in shock and Sam and Vala finally got up to comfort her.

“Where is he?” Nes asked, her voice finally choked with tears.

“He got to DC from Germany last week.” Sam patted her arm as she spoke.

Nes stood abruptly, but with a calm face, shock taking hold. “If you’ll excuse me, I have somewhere to be.”

“Be careful, Nes,” Cam said. “Don’t do anything stupid.”

She just looked at him with a blank expression for a moment before turning and leaving the room. She didn’t care about being stupid or careless. She was going to do whatever she could for Nathan. He deserved it.

Nes got back to her house as fast as she could drive and beamed up to her ship, moving over DC and beaming down to her townhouse she kept ready. It was a bit of a risk coming here, having used this house during some of her time working with the Trust, but her worry for Nathan pushed away any of those concerns. Besides, she likely wouldn’t be there long.

She put her goa’uld healing device into her bag, disguised herself well enough to make her way through the hospital without being noticed, and found her brother’s room.

Nes nearly broke down at the sight of Nathan lying in the bed, his head bandaged, face scarred, and his right leg gone from the knee down. She’d known his injuries were bad, but seeing it was completely different. She approached him cautiously, but he didn’t wake up, even as she took his hand.

“What are you doing in here?”

Nes turned around to see a nurse standing in the doorway. “I’m his sister.”

“Oh…” The nurse’s face softened, but the confusion remained. “I didn’t see you come in.”

“Has he been awake at all?”

The woman shook her head with a sad expression. “No. I’m afraid the head injury was quite bad. There’s no telling how long things will take.”

Nes just nodded, but she at least had somewhere she could start. “I’d just like to sit with him for a while.”

“Of course. I just need you to sign a few papers as a visitor.”

Nes signed everything with her sister Kate’s name, since they resembled each other well enough, and then waited for the nurse to leave before pulling out the handheld device.

It took a huge degree of concentration, the brain not being as simple to heal as a broken bone or bruised skin. She’d have to leave the scars for the time being, but later on she could help with those, as well. The leg...only a sarcophagus could fix that and that would certainly raise more questions than he would have answers for. Plus, she didn’t have access to one, so unless she planned to go back to Ba’al…

Nathan would never want her to do that. Not even for a leg.

She did as much as she could before exhaustion took over, but it should be enough to make a significant difference for him. Nes tucked the blanket around Nathan, then pulled a chair next to the bed and took his hand. Eventually, she let her head droop down onto the edge of the bed as her eyes began to close.

She woke with a start as loud, but familiar, voices came pouring into the room behind her.

“His sisters are both back home. Someone’s pretending to be Kate! Didn’t you even check ID?”

Nes began to sit up when a hand pressed her head back onto the bed.

“Shh! Mom, Dad, be quiet,” Nathan said firmly.

“Nathan! You’re awake! Why didn’t anyone tell us he was awake?”

“I...I didn’t know,” the nurse said in a stunned voice. “He wasn’t awake earlier. I...I better go get the doctor.”

“Nathan, who is this? She said she was Kate!”

Nes heard the door shut and Nathan released her head. She sat up and met Nathan’s eyes briefly before a hand grabbed her shoulder and twisted her around.

“Tessa…” Her mother’s voice was quiet and her face went pale, but she brought a hand to her daughter’s face, making sure she was real. “Tessa, how can you…”

Her dad came forward and crouched down in front of her. “I don’t understand. They said you were dead.”

Nes hadn’t realized how much she’d missed them. It took all her strength to keep Sekhmet’s personality from springing up to protect her from all of the emotions that were rushing in, all of the emotions she’d worked so hard to block out.

“I’m sorry.” It was all she could get out and she wasn’t even sure what she was apologizing for. There was simply too much.

“Do we get any kind of explanation, Tessa?” Her dad’s voice became more stern with his frustration. “Did you really kill those people? Did you have a brain tumor? Where have you been all this time?” He looked up behind her and straightened. “And you! You don’t even seem surprised to see her, Nathan! How long have you known?”

The door flew open again and Nes jumped up to walk to the window.

“Hello, everyone. I’m Dr. Fredericks.” He moved closer to the bed. “Nathan, I gotta say, I’m pretty surprised to see you awake and talking. You took quite a blow to the head.”

“Ma’am, did we need to call security?” the nurse asked quietly, though Nes could still hear.

“Umm...no. It was just...just a misunderstanding.” Her mother’s voice was hollow and Nes wrapped her arms around herself trying to figure out what to say to them.

“Nathan,” the doctor continued, “I’d like to do some tests to look at your brain, see what’s going on inside.”

“You don’t sound very happy, doc.”

Nes smiled at Nathan’s upbeat attitude, but she had to wonder if he’d even noticed his missing leg yet.

“I’m thrilled, Nathan, but I am incredibly confused as well. The amount of brain damage you had...”

He took a few minutes to do a brief physical examination and Nathan gasped as the doctor pulled the blanket back to reveal his missing limb.

“My leg! My leg is gone!”

Nes’ chin fell to her chest. He shouldn’t have been hurt. She didn’t care what Cam had said about her putting him in a prison.

“I’m sorry, son.” The doctor clearly hadn’t realized this would be how his patient discovered the missing limb. “There wasn’t much left from the blast. They saved as much as they could.”

Their mother ran to the bedside, grasping Nathan’s hand, and Nes caught her brother’s gaze, his eyes wide in shock.

Dr. Fredericks cleared his throat. “I’m going to get all those tests ordered and they’ll come get you soon, okay? Do you need anything else?”

The room was silent and the doctor and nurse left, quietly talking to one another as the doctor went over what he wanted done.

“Sweetie,” their mother began, “they weren’t sure you would ever wake up...and they said...they said even if you did, you likely wouldn’t be the same.” Her voice was thick with tears that would likely start flowing soon. “We were so scared.”

Nathan again looked over at Nes, but this time with raised eyebrows and a question in his face. She gave him a quick nod. He let out a slow breath before closing his eyes and leaning his head back against the pillow.

Nes wanted to run. The air in the room was too warm and her chest too tight, but there was no way they would let her leave without some kind of explanation. What could she even say? She hadn’t prepared any kind of response for this situation.

She looked away from her brother and saw her dad watching her.

“Tessa... “ his voice caught “...is it really you?”

Her mother turned around then, remembering the prodigal daughter returned.

Nes swallowed and nodded. “It’s me.”

“And?  _ What _ is going on?”

“I’m sorry...I couldn’t tell you.”

“Couldn’t tell us what?”

“Anything. It’s...it’s classified.”

His eyebrows shot up. “Classified?! What the hell are you mixed up with, Tessa?”

Nes glanced to Nathan and their dad looked between the pair of siblings.

“Are you involved with the Air Force, Tessa?”

“Sometimes. I’m kind of...a consultant of sorts.”

“Consulting on what?” His tone turned harsh. “Being a serial killer?”

“Richard!” her mother said in reprimand.

“Maggie, we’re talking to our dead daughter! A daughter who murdered dozens of people!” He turned back to Nes. “You let us think you were dead! What the  _ hell  _ is wrong with you? And don’t tell me a damn brain tumor!”

Nes had to close her eyes, trying to keep her defensive nature from surfacing.

“Dad! Stop it! She didn’t have a choice.”

“And what do you know about all of this, Nathan? How long have you known she was alive?”

Nathan glanced at his sister, but then pushed his shoulders back and met their father’s eyes. “Six years, Dad.”

Their parents’ jaws dropped as they looked at their son.

“Six  _ years _ ! How could you keep that from us?” Her dad’s fury was starting to fade as hurt and shock took over.

“Like Nes said...it was classified.”

“Nes?”

“That’s her name now.”

Their mother finally sat down, her face still pale and expressionless, but shaking her head side to side slowly.

“Tessa...we just need  _ something _ ,” her dad pleaded. “Please.”

Nes looked at her family carefully. The original parts of her wanted to pour out everything, but there simply wasn’t enough of that Tessa left anymore. Who she was now couldn’t give them that. Who she was now had a new family, their shared experiences bonding them further than blood could at this point.

“Nathan knows what the situation is. You’ll just have to trust  _ him _ . I can’t give you more than that.”

“Did you kill all those people, Tessa?” Her mother finally asked the question she most wanted answered.

She kept her voice very matter-of-fact. “It’s complicated.”

“Are you still killing people?”

“It’s part of my job sometimes.”

Her mother made a choking sound that broke through to her daughter and Nes moved over to her, crouching down and taking her hands.

“Mom.” The word sounded foreign in her voice. How long since she’d said it last? “Mom, I wish I could explain more, but please, please trust that I...I’m trying my best to help people.”

“By killing?” her dad asked in confusion.

“Dad,” Nathan said quietly, “I’ve had to kill in order to rescue people. There’s so much evil out in the world and so much good that needs to be protected from it.”

Nes looked at her brother gratefully, but now saw that killing had changed him in the same way it did all normal people. His eyes were a bit harder, a bit sadder. Nes had been changed, too, but Sekhmet’s influence had been too much for her to resist.

“That’s another thing,” their dad continued, “how is Nathan awake and talking like nothing even happened?”

Nes looked up at her mom who had tears in her eyes.

“Did you do this, sweetie?”

Nes could only nod.

“How?” her mother pleaded. “ _ How _ could you have done this?”

“I can’t tell you, but I...I’m sorry I can’t fix his leg.” She choked back a sob with the guilt she felt at not protecting him and suddenly she was a little girl again, crying on her mother’s lap as her hair was gently stroked.

She saw her father’s shoes approach and he kneeled next to her to wrap his arms around her. Nes lifted a hand to grasp Nathan’s up on the bed. She squeezed his hand tightly, the two sides of her at war, wanting the comfort of her family and wanting the power of running, of isolation.

“We missed you, honey. You should have come back sooner.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, not entirely sure if she meant it or not, but saying it because they would never be able to truly understand what was done to her, what she’d survived, what she’d done.

They were interrupted by the nurse coming in to inform them that they had scheduled some brain scans and would be in to get him in a few minutes.

Nes wiped her face and Nathan asked if he could talk to his sister alone. Their parents were reluctant, but finally left to find some coffee.

“How’d you do this?” He pointed to his head.

“A goa’uld healing device. I did as much as I could, but it’s exhausting. It might take a few times for me to completely fix everything.” She smiled. “Though I doubt I’ll be able to fix the residual weirdness.”

He stuck his tongue out at her in a childish fashion, but then looked up at the ceiling and took several breaths. “Thanks, sis.”

“I should have been there to protect you.” Nes looked down at the blankets on the bed. “Your leg.”

“It’s a leg, Nes. I won’t pretend that it doesn’t bother me, that it won’t be a huge adjustment, but I thought I was going to die. Now I just need to figure out what to tell the doctors.”

“Well, we either pass it off as a miracle or I go fudge some records so it looks like they had mixed up the original imaging.”

“I like the second option.”

“Well, then, if you’ll excuse me, I have some illegal tampering to do.” She gave him a smile and wink and he chuckled.

“Maybe don’t tell Mom and Dad that part either.”

She started to walk out, but was stopped by Nathan quietly saying her name.

“Do you really still kill people?”

She turned around and put her hands in her pockets with a shrug. “Yeah. But these days, they’re all people who need to die.”

“Does Elliot know?”

She nodded. “He knows more than you do.”

“How is he?”

She looked down at the ground and shifted her weight back and forth. “I haven’t seen him in a long time. I’ve had to take care of some things.”

“He loves you, ya know.”

“Yeah...I know. Eventually I’ll get things all sorted.”

“And then you’ll find new things to get sorted.”

She smirked. “My life is really complicated, Nathan.”

“Which is why you need someone like Elliot.”

“Yeah, I know that, too. Let’s save this heart to heart for later, okay? I have work to do. I’ll be back tomorrow.”

He nodded with a smirk of his own and Nes slipped out of the room, quickly changing her mannerisms and dodging her parents as she sought out a computer to hack. She had little trouble getting in (if the CIA couldn’t keep her out, a hospital sure wasn’t going to be capable of better security) and hunted for someone who had a similar injury. After that, it was as simple as deleting his original records and swapping in the ones of a Peter Jeffers. All she had to do now was dispose of the hard copies which hopefully were not currently in the hands of the attending physician.

She looked through the doctor’s orders and found that he had called for the various pictures from radiology, but they were still sitting downstairs waiting to be brought up.

Well, she’d just have to be their new delivery girl.

Nes grabbed some scrubs and a badge out of a locker room she’d passed on her way in and then jumped in the elevator, a pair of glasses perched on her nose and lipstick that was the wrong shade distracting from the rest of her face. No one questioned her as she asked for the file to run upstairs, and she pulled the films out and stuffed them into her shirt before dropping off the now mostly empty file at the nurse’s station near her brother’s room.

She wandered off after that, no one really noticing her except to stare slightly at the awful color haphazardly drawn around her mouth. Sometimes the best way to avoid people was to be someone that made them want to avoid you first and Sekhmet had been excellent at capitalizing on that natural human tendency. 

*****

Nes came back the next day and the day after that, doing a few more treatments on Nathan, and finding herself slipping back into Tessa’s old mannerisms more as she spent time with her parents. Sekhmet’s personality was more natural to her in many ways, but Tessa’s was appearing more from the expectations of her family, rather than her own desires to be her old self again. Still, it wasn’t as terrible as she had anticipated whenever she’d imagined seeing her parents again.

They asked a lot of questions, but she simply couldn’t bring herself to share with them the totality of what her life had contained in the past ten years.

_ Ten years _ .

Well, actually a bit more than ten years.

But, ten years!

She suddenly felt old with such a large chunk of her life snatched away. She was ready to leave it behind, walk away from finding Ba’al, the clones, letting others take care of them instead.

She just needed Kevin back home. Or maybe she needed to go back to Atlantis. Could she take the risk of the clones coming after her there?

Nathan continued to improve and fortunately, her little deception with the mixed up files was accepted. She only felt a little guilt as the doctor apologized profusely for the incompetencies of staff he was able to blame.

“I suppose that was you as well, Te--Nes?” Her dad was struggling with the name change the most.

She just gave him a little smile.

He nodded with a sigh of exasperation, but then gave her a pointed look. “You are okay, aren’t you, hun?”

One of Tessa’s old smiles appeared causing him to relax a bit. “Yeah, Dad. I am. I mean, things are complicated, but I’m figuring it out.”

“And do you have friends? Anyone special?” Her mother gave her a cautious, but hopeful glance.

“Some good friends, yeah.”

“And I hope I count as someone special to her.”

At the sound of the voice behind her, her parents looked up quickly, but Nes’ blood turned to ice and her body froze as her breathing refused to progress steadily. She met Nathan’s eyes and he tensed his own body as he saw her fear, but Nes shifted quickly to a smile and stood to face the newcomer.

“Emyr!” Everything in her voice was genuine - the pleasure, the surprise, the anticipation. “What are you doing here?”

Ba’al or Kappa or whoever it was came forward, sliding his hand around her waist and pulling her close. “Hello, sweetheart.” He leaned his face down to hers. “You have no idea how much I’ve missed you.” He kissed her firmly and Nes began to suspect that this was the original, the real Ba’al, with a hunger that was just beyond the surface.

He pulled back and let his eyes wander over her face. He gave her another gentle peck before turning to the people behind her, his charm on full display.

“Emyr Kagan, Nes’ fiancé.” He came toward her dad with an outstretched hand and her father gave him a large smile and firm handshake. He shook her mother’s hand next and then Nathan, though her brother gave him a hard cold look.

“Nes, why didn’t you say something?” Her mother was delighted and Nes felt sick.

Still, she managed to give both her mother and the intruder one of Sekhmet’s smiles. “I just hadn’t gotten around to it yet. Besides, the effect is so much better when you can meet him yourself.”

The newcomer again returned to her side and gripped her waist rather tightly. “Nes has been away for quite some time, too, but I swore once she was back I wouldn’t let her out of my sight, day...or night.”

He narrowed his eyes at her and though she wanted to run, she let him see a clear relaxing of her body. This was definitely Ba’al. She gave him a smile of relief, which prompted him to cock his head to the side in confusion.

“Will you excuse us for a moment?” she said far too formally to her family as she took Ba’al’s hand to guide him out of the room. Nes led him down the hall to the stairwell door, pulling him through. Her usual self preservation was shoved aside as her fear for her family took hold. She needed to get Ba’al away from them. That meant she couldn’t just beam up to her ship. She couldn’t risk him taking out his frustration on her parents and brother or using them as leverage against her.

Nes tried to lead him down the stairs, but he wouldn’t budge past the landing, instead pulling her backwards and slamming her into the wall. He put a hand to her throat, his face dark with anger.

“You’ve betrayed me.”

“I’ve done no such thing,” she choked out with as much force as she could manage.

“You let me think you were dead!”

“Because  _ your _ clones tried to kill me! I had no way of knowing if you had ordered their actions or not.”

He loosened his grip on her. “Theta was a fool.”

She gave him a look of disgust. “No,  _ you _ are the fool. Kappa and Theta deliberately tried to kill me. They’re working together  _ against  _ you.”

“That’s ridiculous. My clones are completely loyal to me.”

“When did you find out I was alive?”

“A few days ago. I’ve been monitoring your houses still and you showed up at your townhouse here in DC.”

She should have been more careful, realizing he would have discovered that house at some point. That was incredibly stupid of her.

“Kappa and the other clones have known since the attack on Stargate Command for the Ancient database.”

He narrowed his eyes and tightened his grip again, trying to assess her truthfulness. “That’s not possible.”

Nes coughed slightly with the pressure on her airway. “I can show you the security footage. I was there. Kappa said he and Theta wanted some  _ time _ with me, a chance for revenge after Theta’s punishment.”

He released her and moved across the landing to grip the railing tightly. “I’ll kill them.”

“Good. I would love to help you with that.” Nes took a deep breath, steeling herself for what she needed to do next. She took the few steps toward him then and let her hand slide across his back.

Ba’al turned quickly and grabbed her wrist. “You should have come back to me, explained.”

“I’m sorry, my lord. You’re right. I should have trusted your wisdom in this.” She tilted her chin down in a display of guilt and shame, but Ba’al reached a hand up to lift her face to his.

He opened his mouth to speak, but instead kissed her forcefully, walking her backwards to the wall to trap her as his hands remembered her body. Nes let Sekhmet take over and respond as expected.

The door flung open and they both turned towards it - Nes with hope, Ba’al with rage.

Kevin.

He had flown through the door, fear on his face, but it changed quickly to disgust and jealousy as he saw her in Ba’al’s arms. He calmed though, and gave her a smile.

“Sorry, Nes, but your brother sent me to come get you.”

Ba’al stepped toward him and she knew he could feel that Kevin had once been a host.

“I’m afraid  _ Nes _ and I need to leave rather urgently.”

Nes was impressed by how casual Kevin was able to stay. “He said it would only take a minute, just needs to talk to you about something.” He gave a smile to the goa’uld, but Nes could see the threat behind it.

Ba’al grabbed Nes’ wrist then. “Like I said, we need to leave. Her  _ brother _ will just have to wait.”

The two men held one another’s gaze for a few moments before Kevin, with one swift movement, pulled out his sidearm. Ba’al was quick to yank Nes in front of him as a shield, a knife coming up to her throat.

He shifted into his goa’uld voice. “Let us leave or I kill her.”

“Let her go.” Kevin’s eyes darted to Nes and he couldn’t keep the desperate worry off his face.

Ba’al laughed. “You  _ care  _ about her. How interesting.” He put his mouth down to Nes’ ear. “Darling, have you been encouraging this former host in his affection?”

Nes shifted her body seductively as she brought a hand up to her wrist to slide her bracelet off. Her ship would be of more use to Kevin than her at this point. “It’s always helpful when you have the loyalty of those around you,” she said, “a skill you should work on a bit more.”

Ba’al pressed the knife hard to her throat in anger.

“Let her go.” Kevin deliberately kept his eyes off her hands as she tried to figure out how to drop the bracelet without Ba’al noticing.

“Are you  _ sure _ that’s what you want me to do?” Ba’al asked.

“I’ll let you go if you leave her.”

“No. You’re going to let both of us leave here.”

“And why would I do that?” Kevin’s voice was filled with such intense anger at the man in front of him.

Ba’al eased the knife away from her throat and Nes wondered if his own survival was enough to let her be, but then he plunged the knife down into her chest. The bracelet fell from her grip and clattered to the floor, Kevin’s yell covering the sound.

Ba’al wrapped his arm around Nes’ waist as her body went limp. “Would you still like me to leave her here? Or perhaps you’d like me to take her up to my ship and sarcophagus?”

Nes’ eyes were wide as she saw Kevin’s horror, but then the room started to go dark, no matter how desperately she felt herself clawing to stay with him, to comfort him. Kevin lowered his gun and Nes tried to speak, but it was too late. Death was already too close.

A quick flash and she was surrounded by gold and then only darkness.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Episode 10.19 “Dominion”

Nes awoke inside a sarcophagus, but as the memories of the last moments of her life flooded back, she closed her eyes again and had to fight back the sorrow. How was she going to escape Ba’al again? How was she going to get back to Kevin? He had her ship now, but no way to find her.

The lid slowly opened above her and she pulled Sekhmet up quickly and far too easily. Ba’al was there as she sat up and she glared at him, though he returned her anger with a shrug and a smile.

“My apologies, my dear, but you’re perfectly alright now.”

“You killed me.”

“Yes.” He came forward and put a hand on her cheek. “I’m afraid I do still rather enjoy that.”

She continued to fume as she climbed out of the sarcophagus and steadied herself on her feet again. She was only given a few moments before she was again in his arms, but Nes pushed with all her strength against him and he released her in aggravation.

“You cannot  _ possibly _ expect more patience from me!”

“You just killed me! And your clones tried to kill me and yet they still live.” She poked a finger into his chest. “I want Kappa and Theta  _ dead _ .”

He grabbed her roughly. “Why do I tolerate your demands?”

“Because despite your frustration, you love a challenge. You would have lost interest in me long ago had I had fallen into your bed as easily as Athena, who  _ also _ was working with Kappa and Theta to kill me, by the way. She thought you would make her your queen if I were gone.”

His jaw clenched tighter in anger.

“I took care of her personally. I hope you don’t mind.” She gave his cheek a few light pats.

“And have you been the one killing my clones?”

Nes shrugged, but lifted her chin in defiance.

Ba’al slapped her, sending her to the floor, but then reached down to lift her back to standing, pointing a finger in her face. “I will not tolerate any of that behavior moving forward.”

Nes nodded, but kept the threat in her eyes. She would not cower in front of him, begging to be his queen and in his bed.

His face softened and he wiped the blood away from her mouth, kissing her more gently. “I  _ did _ miss you, my dear.”

“I’m afraid I was far too angry to miss you, but your presence is certainly...growing on me again.” She gave him a seductive smile and let her hands slide up his chest. “But how can I be sure it’s really you?”

He reached into his suit pocket and pulled out a small box, popping it open with one hand and revealing the diamond and sapphire ring he’d given her before. She took it out of the box and placed it on her hand, kissing him tenderly.

Nes stepped around him toward the door. “What  _ are  _ your clones up to right now, my lord?”

“Kappa and Theta were placed in charge of a plan to capture the Orici.”

“The Orici? For what purpose?”

He smirked. “I thought she would make an excellent host for one of my clones.”

Nes knew her face showed her shock, but Ba’al seemed to enjoy taking her by surprise.

“Once she’s been implanted, the entire Ori army will bow to my command.”

“You mean Kappa’s command.”

“Yes, I’ll have to remedy that situation once he has her.” He smiled sadistically.

“You should kill him now.”

“Come, my dear. I may as well put him to good use before destroying him.” He went to a small table to pour himself a glass of wine, offering her one as well - which she took but did not drink. “I find it very interesting that I found you visiting your host’s brother.”

“In order to maintain the belief that I am her, I must cultivate the relationships that were important to her. It is one of the drudgeries required of the duplicity.”

“And the former host who tried to save you?” There was jealousy lacing every word.

Nes smiled and laughed. “He was once host to a Tok’ra and proved rather valuable at times.”

“Well, that will no longer be required. You will take your place by my side with no need to return to the Tau’ri pretending to be less than you are.”

“Just as soon as you deal with your rogue clones.”

He tightened his jaw. “I will deal with them, Sekhmet. Do not doubt me.”

“I do not doubt your ability even the slightest, my lord, but you must remember that the clones  _ also _ have your abilities.” She smiled maliciously.

“And which abilities of theirs have you sampled?”

“I was clear that I have no wish to spend my time with copies.” She brought a hand up to his cheek. “ _ I _ , at the very least, have stayed loyal to  _ you. _ ”

A servant notified them that a meal was ready and Nes joined him in the dining room, gently prodding him for information on his activities during her absence. He was less than forthcoming, though, and she finally gave up for fear of him growing suspicious.

Before he could renew his attempts at seduction, Nes feigned a yawn which turned into a real one. It’d been an intensely long day and even the sarcophagus couldn’t impart enough energy to keep her awake any longer. Ba’al graciously allowed her to leave his presence and she kept her eyes open just long enough for the servant girl to help her undress. She then collapsed under the covers of her bed, hoping exhaustion would keep away the image of Kevin as he watched her die.

It didn’t.

*****

Nes kept her eyes and ears open as she watched Ba’al and his current operation in the following days. From what she could tell, there were three cloning facilities, including the one she had discovered, but those didn’t account for all the supplies she saw recorded.

Ba’al had something else in the works.

Something big and something secret.

And something that seemed to give him a confidence she hadn’t seen in him since before Anubis had taken his armies and power. Even without knowing what his plans were, that level of self-assurance caused fear to creep into her mind and body.

Whatever it was, it would not be good for the galaxy.

Most evenings were spent in Ba’al’s company, resisting his advances and knowing that if she gave him even an inch, he’d take a mile, and this was a marathon. She had no idea how long she’d be trapped with him and she wanted to hold out as long as possible before he wouldn’t tolerate her games anymore. She didn’t expect it to be much longer, unfortunately. Only the experience of the last time he’d tried to force himself on her through brainwashing kept him at bay, though he did always check her arms for another variation of the armband she slit his throat with.

*****

It’d been weeks. She’d made zero progress on obtaining the new frequency of the remaining clones and she had no idea what Ba’al was working on in secret except that it was some sort of failsafe device should all other plans go awry. Her own frustration was becoming more apparent and Ba’al noted her short temper, hitting her more often, comforting her just as frequently, and not caring who was an audience to her abuse.

But the more he hit her, the more she deliberately provoked him. She found that the pain reminded her more clearly of who he was than any distant memories she struggled to pull up when he pursued her every evening, pulling her into his arms and putting on his charming personality as he kissed her.

“I’ve just received word that Kappa and Theta were successful in obtaining the Orici,” he said one day as he encountered her in a corridor outside her room. “Perhaps I’ll call a meeting to discuss her. Come along, my dear.”

She followed after him as he made his way to the bridge, where he ordered a jaffa to send a message to the clones. Ba’al then contacted a vessel close to the meeting location to send servants to set up tents and such on the quiet little planet where they would gather.

“Just a few hours from now?” She was surprised at the haste.

“Well, I’ve kept this as an option for quite some time now. No reason to wait on it any longer. All the clones are close enough to travel there in time.”

“And what then? You’ll all have a nice chat?” If Adaar had been summoned as well, he could at least notify the NID of the meeting, but she worried for his safety.

“Come now, my dear.” He caressed her face. “I never move forward without a clear plan. You will see what I have in mind soon enough.”

*****

“Have they all arrived?” Ba’al asked as they looked down at the planet from the pel’tak when they came out of hyperspace.

A jaffa turned towards his master. “Yes, Lord Ba’al. All but two.”

“Kappa and Theta,” Nes said quietly in frustration.

“They are on a different mission. We will proceed as planned.” Ba’al lifted his chin, but spoke in a casual tone. “Beam down the symbiote poison.”

Nes twisted to face him in surprise and he smirked at her. She barely avoided showing the relief over symbiote poison being the tool of execution, though. Adaar would be unaffected and able to escape once he realized what was happening. And then he’d be free...if he wanted the freedom. Ba’al would assume his first and most loyal clone was dead regardless of the lack of a locator beacon.

“They have served their purpose, my dear.”

She gave him a seductive look and his eyes flitted down to her mouth.

“The poison has been released, my lord,” Ba’al’s jaffa said.

“Very well, make our way to where Kappa and Theta are holding the Orici. Do not inform them of our approach.”

“Yes, my lord.”

Ba’al took Nes by the elbow and she soon found herself in his quarters, not unexpectedly, and he was angered when she held firm in her stance.

“When Kappa and Theta are dead, then I will trust your devotion.”

“It will only be a matter of  _ hours _ before they are dealt with, Sekhmet.” He kissed her again and she wondered if he would beg next. She couldn’t say that she wouldn’t enjoy seeing that, but his pride was still intact.

Lord Ba’al would suffer the agony of patience over the shame of pleading.

As they came close to the coordinates where Kappa and Theta were supposed to be, Nes accompanied Ba’al to the pel’tak yet again. Just as they arrived, though, they all watched as the Odyssey appeared, apparently dropping a cloak Nes didn’t realize they even had, and then jumped into hyperspace.

“What were the Tau’ri doing here?” Ba’al’s voice boomed through the room with anger. “Contact the ha’tak!”

News from the ha’tak wasn’t good. Nes and Ba’al beamed aboard, finding the corridors lined with bullet-filled jaffa and the prison that held the Orici empty, a clone lying dead next to it.

Ba’al turned to a jaffa who had served the clones and gestured to his dead copy.

The jaffa bowed low. “Theta, my lord.”

Ba’al looked around the room. “Someone tell me what happened here!”

The jaffa was certain that the Orici  _ had _ been implanted with a clone symbiote, but that the Tau’ri had beamed aboard and captured her.

“Where is Kappa?”

The jaffa bowed his head in shame. “An al’kesh just left the cargo bay, my lord.”

“And you allowed it to leave?” His fury was just barely contained at this point.

“He opened the doors with an override command.”

“I want him tracked immediately. He will pay for this failure.”

“Yes, my lord,” the jaffa said with a bow, grateful to keep his life.

Nes suspected that Ba’al’s depleted forces had made him a more lenient ruler simply out of necessity. He didn’t have the luxury to execute every slave who failed him in some way. Clones, on the other hand...well, they were significantly more expendable.

“With Theta dead, you at least did half of what you said…” Nes said with a smirk which Ba’al immediately made her pay for with the back of his hand.

“Why do you insist on provoking me?” he said as he kissed the cheek he’d bruised and dropped his voice. “I have no wish to hurt you, my dear, but I will not allow this insolence.”

Nes dipped her head ever so slightly in an apology, trying to hide her own anger at his treatment of her, and then she joined him as he returned to his command ship. Kappa must have been in hyperspace, since his beacon didn’t appear, but Nes noted all the other dots on the screen.

“I thought you killed all the clones, my lord.”

Ba’al smirked at her like she was a small child. “The clones with the original beacons, yes. The Tau’ri will believe them all to be dead--”

“Except Kappa, of course.” She knew she was pushing it with the constant reminder of the rogue clone, but she couldn’t help herself.

“Yes,” he said with a twitch in his jaw. “All except Kappa, but then the newer clones will be free to work on other plans for me.”

“And you trust the new batches?”

“I may limit their tasks more than I have in the past, keep a closer eye on them.”

“That would be wise, my lord.”

They received word not too long later about the fate of the Orici and her implanted clone. The Tau’ri had made a bold plan of replacing Ba’al’s symbiote with a Tok’ra, but, true to form, the clone had released a toxin as they’d attempted to remove him and had killed the young woman. Unfortunately, it seemed that she was able to ascend before death took her and it was possible she was now an even greater threat. Nes had to wonder how Vala was doing through all of this, but as there was no way for her to know, she shoved it aside like so many other concerns.

With the news that yet another of his plans had failed, Ba’al invested all his anger and energy into hunting Kappa, but the clone was elusive. Ba’al grew more and more frustrated, especially since killing his duplicate seemed to be the last barrier between himself and his queen.

One night, Nes awoke to the sound of footsteps in her room, and she wondered if Ba’al was finally done waiting, opting for a surprise attack while she slept. She tried to hasten her eyes in adjusting to the dim lighting, but still couldn’t make out the figure that prowled closer. She rolled onto her side as if she were still asleep, sliding a hand under her pillow to wrap her fingers around the handle of a small knife she kept close by, and waited for whatever would come next.

A hand suddenly shot out and covered her mouth and she was quick to slash at the throat she knew was just down the length of the arm. Her wrist stopped midair, seized by what she recognized as the grip of symbiote-enhanced strength.

“Nes, stop!” a distorted voice whispered.

Nes? Who would call her by that name here?

The face came closer then and she could make out his features, recognizing him finally as the goa’uld who had come to give a report that morning on mining activities. He had smirked cruelly when Ba’al had bloodied her lip for her disrespectful tone.

“It’s me...Lantash.” He lifted his hand from her mouth slowly.

“Lantash?” She relaxed her arm and he released her. “What are you doing here?”

“Kevin contacted me and told me what happened. Asked for my help.”

She sat up, leaning against the headboard. “You infiltrated Ba’al’s operations.”

He nodded. “Several months ago.”

“With your new host.”

He bowed his head and when it lifted, a smile that changed his face appeared. “Thiras,” he said in a normal voice. “I feel as if I already know you.”

Nes shifted uncomfortably and pulled the blankets around her, remembering the memories that Thiras now had access to from Kevin.

“I’m sorry. I’m sure this must be odd.”

“A bit, but when is my life not odd?”

He gave her another jovial smile, before bowing again to give control back to Lantash.

“I am sorry for my cruelty when Ba’al struck you.” The distorted voice resumed and Lantash looked at her with concern and shame.

“You had to play your role. We all play our roles.” Nes took a deep breath. “Is Kevin here with you?”

“I gave him the coordinates of the ha’tak when I was summoned. It will still be several hours until he arrives in your al’kesh, but…” He hesitated.

“What?”

“I will be meeting with Ba’al when he arrives and then I’ll be expected to leave immediately. I need to get the shields down.”

“So you need your meeting interrupted.”

Lantash nodded. “I can go disable the shields so Kevin can beam you off.”

“So Kevin can beam  _ us _ off.”

“I’ll try to retain my position here if I can, but yes, he can beam me out, too, if necessary. Here.” He took her hand and pressed a beacon into her palm.

Nes didn’t want to leave empty handed. “Lantash, I’ve been trying to get the frequency of the new clones, but haven’t had any success.”

“What new clones?”

“Ba’al has cloning facilities still operating and the new clones contain tracking beacons with a different frequency than the previous ones.”

Lantash stared off for a moment and she knew he was speaking to Thiras. “And you haven’t been able to access the information?”

Nes shook her head. “Ba’al keeps a close eye on me. Without it, we won’t be able to find all the clones. We’ll never be rid of him.”

“We’ll do our best to locate that information and transmit it to Kevin, but getting you off this ship is our first priority.”

“It shouldn’t be.”

Lantash smiled. “Too bad. It’s our turn to force you to safety.”

Nes smiled in response, and she saw a wave of one of Kevin’s expressions pass over his face, but he stood abruptly and gave her specific instructions on when she needed to come to the throne room to...distract Ba’al. She could see how much it pained him to ask that of her, but they really had no choice.

Nes dressed carefully after he left, needing layered seduction, and then paced until the agreed upon time, finally making her way down the corridors and entering the throne room with a smile.

“What is it, Sekhmet?” Ba’al barely glanced up from the papers he was looking over. “I am in the middle of a meeting.”

“I’m sure your meeting can wait.”

Ba’al looked up at her again, raising an eyebrow, and she gave him a look that conveyed exactly what she had in mind.

“Bharan,” he turned to Lantash, “you can wait in your quarters until we can finish our discussion.”

Lantash bowed low. “Yes, my lord.” He moved toward the door then and gave Nes the look of expected annoyance before leaving.

Once the door slid shut behind him, Nes moved towards the goa’uld slowly, taking as much time as possible. She sent off a quick mental wish that Lantash was quick and Kevin arrived on time or she was going to be in a very difficult situation from which she would have no escape.

She kissed him slowly, sliding his robe off his shoulders.

“Why the change, my dear?”

“I had a rather vivid dream of you...and me.”

“Well, I am more than happy to recreate the dream for you.”

“I was hoping you’d say that.”

“Perhaps you’d appreciate a change of location, though.”

Nes kissed him again. “Perhaps I would.”

Ba’al took her hand and led her back to his quarters, where Nes realized quickly that no amount of layering would slow down Ba’al’s advances now that she’d all but given permission. She tried to stay Nes, hang onto herself, but eventually Sekhmet took over.

Unfortunately for Ba’al, as much as her goa’uld side wanted him, Sekhmet first wanted to kill him for the things he’d done to her, for the way Nes had allowed him to treat her - like a common slave to beat into submission.

She didn’t have her ring to knock him out, but she saw no reason why the vase on the bedside table couldn’t be just as effective. As he was absorbed in other activities, she grabbed hold of the pottery to bash into his head. She tied him to a chair using the bedding and then paced, returning the various layers to her body, her two sides in a war on what to do with the monster.

Torture. Kill. Torture. Kill.

She couldn’t just kill him. She  _ needed  _ his screams and agony and begging. He was the original. She couldn’t simply kill him quickly. But was there enough  _ time _ ? Did it matter if there weren’t?

Why was she even fighting this? The decision had already been made.

Torture. Torture. Torture.

There  _ was _ no other option.

There never had been with Ba’al.

Fortunately, with a symbiote, he woke quickly enough from the blow to the head and his eyes began to open and focus on the woman in front of him.

“What are you doing, Sekhmet?”

She couldn’t resist. It was intensely foolish, but she simply couldn’t keep the words from pouring out. She needed him to see the truth before he died.

“You know...you made a very serious mistake when we met.”

“Yes, I recall,” he said with annoyance. “I assumed your symbiote was a Tok’ra. Release me.”

“No, that was your first mistake. You made a second, even more egregious mistake after that.”

He cocked his head to the side, frustration apparent in every part of him. “And what was that?”

“You shouldn’t really feel too badly about it, my dear. Simply  _ everyone _ has made the same mistake.”

“Out with it!”

“You assumed…” she pulled out a knife “...that in a She’ket...it is the  _ goa’uld _ who survives.” She smiled maliciously at him as her words sunk into his mind.

“What are you saying? This isn’t amusing, Sekhmet.”

“But that’s precisely it. I am  _ not _ Sekhmet.”

Ba’al froze and his eyes darted to her and the floor as he tried to understand. “Of course, you are.”

“No. I am not.”

“How can you not be her?”

“Well, in many ways I still am her, I suppose. I have her memories, her knowledge, her skills, even her personality to put on like a mask, but she, herself, has been gone for a number of years now. Since before you and I met on Asdad.”

“That is  _ not _ possible.”

“Isn’t it?”

“Nothing of the host survives.”

Nes came forward and let her fist punish him for his falsehood. “I survived.” She tapped his forehead. “And Adaarbal is still in there. He would thank me for ending his misery.”

“How do you know my host’s name?”

“All those clones, darling. You don’t think I could get rid of you in at least one of them?”

“You’ve been working against me from the beginning.” He struggled against his restraints now, fury taking hold.

“Yes. Right from the beginning. And you believed every word I said.”

“You’re Tessa James, then.”

Nes shrugged. “Somewhat. Obviously, the old Tessa couldn’t continue on with Sekhmet as a companion.” Nes let the knife drag down his jaw. “Sekhmet had no idea that teaching me to lie and kill would eventually lead to her destruction.”

“She  _ taught _ you?” Ba’al tried not to flinch as Nes pressed the blade in to draw blood.

“Yes. She thought we could be like the Tok’ra and I let her believe we were. She was so very proud of her protégé, torturing and killing alongside her. I became quite skilled.” She covered his mouth and thrust the knife into his arm, twisting cruelly before pulling it out again. “I liked your gravity pit, Ba’al, but there is nothing like feeling the blade plunge into skin and muscle. The sensation is far too invigorating for me to ever truly enjoy your more detached methods.”

When she lifted her hand from his mouth, he flashed his eyes at her. “What do you want?”

“Just to kill you. I must say, you’ve already been far more satisfying than the clones.”

“You will never escape and then I will destroy you piece by piece.”

Nes stroked his face. “Thank you. Your clones all begged and pleaded and it was  _ repulsive _ . I want to remember you just like this. Strong and arrogant right to the end.” Again she blocked his screams with her palm and pushed the blade into him. “Really, it makes me wish I  _ had _ spent the night with you. If I had more time now…”

Ba’al was breathing hard as he fought the pain. “When you are captured and I am restored, you  _ will _ spend the night with me. Night after night after night I will enjoy your screams.” He smirked. “Who knows if they will be of pleasure or pain, my dear? Perhaps both.”

Nes began to carve into his bare chest. “We would have been glorious together, Ba’al. Part of me wishes I had chosen a different path, but after your recent cruelty, even my Sekhmet side wants to see you dead.”

Nes stuffed a gag in his mouth then, wanting both hands to inflict pain on him. He glared at her with each wound, his eyes flashing with no ability to curse her with his tongue. And Nes enjoyed it all thoroughly, Sekhmet taking hold of her entirely, making her feel her old strength, her muscles settling into the old wicked pleasures. She was lost to everything else except the knife in her hand and the choked screams of her victim.

A loud noise rumbled through the ship as it rocked.

An explosion.

It took her a few moments to remember that she was supposed to be distracting Ba’al to give Lantash the time to take out the shields. That meant that she’d soon be beamed out.

And Ba’al would not remain dead.

The intoxication of torture had made her forget her true goals and now she’d wasted the time she’d been given.

“I’m afraid that’s my cue to end this, my dear. It’s really been lovely.” She felt the beam and threw her knife as quickly as she could, seeing with satisfaction that it found its mark in his left eye, his head flinging backwards, the hilt pointing upward.

The room faded around her then, her al’kesh cargo hold taking its place.

She closed her eyes for a few moments, intense euphoria with his death, however momentary it might be. Deep down she knew that not completing her task had been her own fault, but Sekhmet would not take the blame and instead of guilt or shame, Nes felt a deep annoyance rise in her chest that she’d been interrupted at all. She could have made Ba’al last so much longer,  _ enjoyed _ him so much longer, and then still had time to kill him permanently.

Her rescuers had ruined it.

Her eyes opened, Sekhmet hunting for revenge, and she found Lantash looking out through Thiras’ eyes. They grew wide as he took in her appearance, particularly the blood splattered on her gown and skin and the Goa’uld smirk twisting her mouth.

“You ruined my fun,” she said in her distorted voice, another knife appearing in her hand. “I was just beginning to enjoy myself.”

“Nes…”

“You all say you want me to be Nes, but then you all ask me to be Sekhmet. Which is it? I’m not sure I can do much of the back and forth anymore.”

She approached him slowly, but he held his ground.

“Sekhmet is no longer required, Nesert. You are safe here.”

She felt the ship jump into hyperspace and laughed. “I’m safe? How wonderful. But are  _ you _ safe, Tok’ra?” All of Sekhmet’s disgust was poured into the last word and she smiled, a lion again, prowling for her next meal after her last one was cut short.

“Nes!” Kevin’s voice rang through the cargo hold and Nes locked eyes with him, suddenly shifting her prowl to him, but the knife disappeared, and she pulled out the other weapon she always kept at the ready: seduction.

He looked at her with the same scrutiny as that night he’d realized she was drunk, but concern took over as he saw all the blood.

“Are you hurt, Nes?” He brought a hand to her face, likely seeing the cuts and bruises that Ba’al had insisted she not heal, a visual reminder of the proper behavior he’d expected of her.

Nes breathed deeply, sliding a hand up Kevin’s chest. “Ba’al is dead, at least for a little while. You should have given me more time, though.”

“He’s dead?”

“Mmhmm, but I wasn’t able to do a proper job of it. He’ll likely be revived.”

“It doesn’t matter, Nes. You’re safe. That was the goal.”

Nes chuckled. “Of course. Now...are you going to help me out of this dress so I can get cleaned up?”

Kevin’s jaw stiffened as he looked at her. “Not if you’re going to be Sekhmet.”

Nes flashed her eyes at him. “Your loss then...though Ba’al had been all too eager to assist me.” She patted his cheek and strutted down the corridor that led to her quarters, wanting a shower and clean clothes to continue her hunt.

When Kevin arrived at her door later, full of concern and caution, he saw her, wet hair and wearing the flowered silk dressing gown she’d kept from Yu’s palace. Nes knew he couldn’t remember anything now except how it had felt to kiss her that first night, how her body had felt under his.

He offered no resistance. His eyes still revealed his hesitancy, but she worked hard to rid him of it.

“Make love to me,” she whispered in his ear.

“Nes...you’re not yourself.”

She nibbled his ear, prompting his hands to tighten on her. “Then help me remember.”

“Are you sure?”

“Very.”

Nes pulled him over to the bed and down on top of her. His hands again searched out her body, and she let out a sigh as he kissed her skin.

“Ba’al…”

Kevin’s body slumped. He sat up with disgust, grabbing his shirt off the floor, and stormed out of the room. Nes woke enough to remember why she had avoided him when Sekhmet was too strong. She had been right to be scared of saying or doing something she couldn’t take back.

Nes sat up, retying the sash of her gown and then, while she still had even a small amount of control, went to the cabinet along the wall to pull out a bottle. She didn’t even bother with a glass, drinking fast enough that she’d skip drunk and go straight to unconscious.

She woke later in her bed, blankets carefully tucked around her, a glass of water on the bedside table. Her head was splitting open with every blink of her eyes, but she managed to get up and stumble to the bathroom to throw up. As she remembered what had led to the excessive drinking, she threw up again.

Nes didn’t want to see Kevin, scared of how he would look at her, scared of what she would say or do, and tried to come up with any plan that would let her escape. She even briefly contemplated stunning both him and Lantash so she could divert the al’kesh to a planet she could beam down to and disappear through a Stargate. Maybe Kevin would be grateful for that course of action.

No. He wouldn’t.

He and Lantash (and Thiras) had risked their lives to rescue her. Kevin knew what had been likely to happen when Ba’al had captured her, but  _ seeing _ her like that, seeing Sekhmet so fully in control...that was different. Kevin had been gone when she’d returned with Selmak after so much time in the sarcophagus. He’d also missed her return from being tortured by Ba’al and after she’d killed Anna. He had Lantash’s memories, of course, but his optimism about her had probably kept him from thinking she could be like that again.

Kevin was at her door soon after she woke up. She let him in, but turned away immediately, massaging her temples.

“Enjoy your drunken escape?” he said with an edge.

Nes sat down in one of the chairs. “What do you want me to say, Kevin?” She looked up at him. “I’ve been Sekhmet for weeks and torturing Ba’al gave her full control. I can’t just flip a switch in five minutes and be rid of her or her wants and thoughts!” Her voice cracked. “ _ This _ is why I left after Ba’al had captured me and Jack.  _ This _ is why I didn’t come back after LA.”

Kevin looked down at the floor.

“Please, Kevin. I’m barely holding on and it won’t last. I don’t want to mess this up. I don’t want you to hate me. I...I  _ need _ you.”

He met her eyes again.

“Just give me some time to find Nes again.”

He nodded slowly. “How long do you need?”

She shrugged. “A few weeks...maybe more.”

“We’re almost back to Earth. You can beam Lantash and me down and...and I don’t know.”

“I’ll come find you when I’m ready, when I’m fully in control again.”

“And then what?”

“Then...if you still want me...I expect you to kiss me like you did earlier.”

“How will I know if you’re ready?”

“If I come find you, I’m ready.” She sat up straighter and shifted her shoulders back with confidence. “ _ When _ I come find you.”

Kevin took a long slow breath, pain in his eyes. “Okay...be safe, Nes.”

Then he left and Nes immediately went to the cabinet, only to find it empty.

Bastard.


	25. Chapter 25

Nes spent the next few weeks flitting around to spas and houses and drinking herself to sleep each night. Sekhmet was holding on tightly this time and Nes found herself waking up every morning wanting to be in Ba’al’s arms, not Kevin’s. It was infuriating to have her mind so powerless to steer herself away from the goa’uld’s hold, but she also knew that time was her biggest ally. Without Ba’al’s presence and influence, Sekhmet would eventually start to fade back to her lesser role, leaving Nes to control her body and emotions again.

A month passed and she was still struggling to stay herself and sober at the same time. She finally beamed herself down to chat with Sam, who always had words of wisdom for her.

After the surprise and a glass of wine, Nes told the other woman what had happened. Sam was sympathetic, trying to help her sort it all out.

“Maybe you just need to spend more time thinking over your time with Elliot, remembering how it felt to be Nes with him.”

“It’s hard to bring up those memories.”

“Well, then tell some of them to me.”

Nes narrowed her eyes at her.

“Tell me about when you first saw him,” she coaxed.

“You know this story.”

“Some of it, but this is for you, not me.”

“Right. Vala’s going to be upset she missed this.”

“I can call her,” Sam said a bit too excitedly.

“Fine. Go get her. Meet me at my house. I have more liquor there.”

Sam and Vala knocked on her door a half hour later.

“I hear it’s story time!” Vala said, clapping her hands together.

“This is for  _ me _ ?” Nes asked skeptically.

“We are more than happy to make the sacrifice.” Sam gave her a smile and walked past her into the house and down the hall to the kitchen and family room.

Glasses in hand and a few bottles on the coffee table, the three women found spots on the couches and chairs and Nes began to go over all her time with Kevin, her smile widening and frown deepening with story after story.

The connection point with her friends helped restore her as well, the laughter at her blushing and their comfort at her tears reminded her of her life as Nes. Why had she insisted on being on her own for so long? Why had she thought that friendship would destroy her freedom instead of restoring her to who she wanted to be?

They’d planned ahead for too much drinking and Nes eventually set them up in guest bedrooms when they could all no longer keep their eyes open.

And when Nes woke in the morning, the light streaming in through the windows, she ached for Kevin’s arms to hold her, her desire for Ba’al feeling like a distant memory again. Though now her _ fear _ of Ba’al was sinking back onto her, as much as she tried to push it away. A quick shower and she still felt like hell, but also like herself again.

“So Kevin’s not at the SGC?”

Sam yawned and held out her cup for Nes to pour more coffee for her. “He’s on leave seeing his family up in Spokane, Washington.”

“Well, good thing you have a quick way to get there,” Vala said groggily.

“I can’t just show up at his family’s house.”

“Why not?”

“Well, what if he doesn’t want to see me? Then it’s awkward and his family would be there.”

“Nes, he’ll want to see you.” Sam gave her a smile of reassurance. “He risked everything to come find you. Fortunately, General Landry was understanding.”

Nes looked at Sam with raised eyebrows. “I didn’t realize he came without permission.”

“He kind of just  _ informed _ us that he was going after you, but no one tried to stop him.”

Nes sighed and took another drink of her coffee. “You have the address?”

“I can get it. He did mention to me that I should call him if you showed up, but I think you surprising him is much better than me calling.”

“Agreed!” Vala said with as much gusto as she could work up with a hangover. “Go get him, Nes.”

“Maybe I should be less hungover first.”

The other two women groaned, apparently in agreement on that as well.

*****

Sekhmet had a house not too far from Spokane, so Nes made a few calls to at least have a car delivered. She chuckled some at the fact that the vehicle she could get the fastest was another vintage Mustang, this one a sleek blue. Part of her wondered what his family would think if she showed up on one of her motorcycles instead, but it was still a bit too cold for that.

The house itself had been purchased in Nes’ second year as host, but they hadn’t stayed long, Sekhmet leaving on a whim one day when she’d decided she wanted to go dancing and they’d headed to Los Angeles. Nes hadn’t come back since, for no other reason than having other places to explore. It had spectacular views, though, and Nes went ahead and made the phone calls to set the house up fully. She wasn’t sure how Kevin would react to her appearance, but happy or sad, she wouldn’t mind sipping wine (or something stronger) sitting in front of the large stone fireplace or on the balcony overlooking the lake.

Nes drove to the address Kevin had left, a house in a suburb southeast of the city itself. She got a little confused as to which house at the end of the cul-de-sac was the correct one, but finally determined it was the one with several cars in the driveway. It looked like she wasn’t the only visitor and she briefly contemplated coming back another time.

Kevin deserved to at least know she was alive, though. She owed him that.

She found an empty spot in the drive and walked slowly up to the house, a very respectable light blue ranch style home that she guessed had nice views of the hills behind it. Weaving between cars and trucks, she got up to the front porch and rang the doorbell, breathing deeply to try slowing her heart down.

It wasn’t working.

The door opened and Nes recognized Kevin’s mom from the photos she’d seen.

“Hi.” Nes tried to keep her nerves out of her voice. “Is Kevin here? Captain Kevin Elliot?”

“He is. Why don’t you come inside and I’ll go get him.” She backed up for Nes to enter.

“Oh.” Nes tried to wave off her hospitality. “No, that’s okay. I’ll just wait out here. You have company.”

“Don’t be silly. It’s cold out there and it’s all just family who came to see Kevin while he’s on leave.”

Nes relented and walked into the house, where she found herself in an open foyer, a dining room to her right and an office through a glass door to her left. In front of her was a large living room filled with more than a dozen people who all turned to look at her, an audience waiting for a show to begin.

“Just wait right here. I think he’s in the kitchen.”

Nes nodded and then tried to find somewhere else to look besides all the eyes that were observing her in near silence. Whispers eventually started, of course, and she caught some familiar words and names that always came up in her presence, but she pretended not to hear.

“Nes.”

That was a voice that she wouldn’t ignore, though, and she turned her head sharply towards the kitchen. There was Kevin, standing in the doorway and searching her face, hope and a question in his eyes.

Nes gave him a small nod and smile and he immediately took rapid steps towards her, his hands coming up to her face to pull her into a kiss. There was a small part of Nes’ brain that knew this was not the type of kiss that was appropriate in front of his family, but she promptly silenced that voice and let Kevin walk her backwards until she bumped into the glass door of the office she’d noted. He fumbled with the handle for a few moments until it swung open, causing her to lose her balance. Kevin was quick to lift her slightly and moved them through the doorway, kicking the door shut behind him and pushing her off to the side of the room where they’d be out of sight from the rest of the house.

The kiss turned salty and Nes pulled back to see his wet eyes.

“I was so scared, Nes.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to be sorry. I shouldn’t have expected you to just be yourself right away. I just…” He leaned his forehead against hers. “Nes, I thought we wouldn’t be able to save you. And then I thought we were too late.”

“You did save me, though,” she brought her hands up to his face, “and you weren’t too late. I’m here now. I’m me now.”

He hugged her tight. “I don’t want to be away from you anymore. I can’t do it again.”

“Me either.”

“Good. It’s settled then.”

Nes laughed quietly. “At least until you go on another mission.”

“Shh, we’re pretending we’ll never be separated again.”

Nes dropped her voice. “Sorry. I won’t bring it up again.”

“Thank you.”

He leaned down and kissed her again when the door flew open and then slammed shut again.

“Kevin!”

Nes recognized Dr. Elliot as well, but the anger in his face was different from the smiling father in pictures.

“What are you doing?” He looked between Nes and Kevin as they separated. “Your brother just asked if you went to have sex in my office.”

Kevin made a choking sound. “Dad, I just…”

“You know better than to behave this way. You have younger siblings and cousins out there.”

“I’m sorry, Dad. I wasn’t thinking.”

“Clearly. Now...why don’t you pull yourself together and come introduce your friend to the other guests in this house.”

“Yes, sir.”

Dr. Elliot gave his son a pointed look before turning to leave the room again.

“Well, that was a lovely first impression with your family.”

Kevin chuckled. “I’m sorry, Nes. He’s not mad at you, though. Come on. I’ll introduce you.”

He started to walk away, but she pulled back on his hand.

“Who do you want me to be for them?”

He lowered his eyebrows in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“Well, I can be whoever you want your family to see me as.”

“Nes, I just want you to be  _ you _ .”

“Yeah, Kevin...I’m...creepy.”

He laughed. “You are a bit, but you’re also smart and witty and funny and thoughtful and caring and damn…” He pulled her into another kiss. “Sexy. You’re also very sexy.”

Nes smiled and pushed against him playfully. “Stop it. You’re going to get me in trouble again.”

Kevin gave her a serious look. “Nes, I want them to see  _ you _ , okay?”

She nodded and took a deep breath. “Okay. Let’s go.”

He kissed her on the nose. “Good. They’ll love you...once they get over the…”

“Creepiness?”

Kevin gave her a wink. “I didn’t want to say it.”

They left the office hand in hand and the crowd in the living room had grown as everyone had apparently gathered after the earlier drama. They were all talking amongst themselves until they saw the couple return and then the adults went silent except for quiet reprimands to all the kids to hush.

Kevin cleared his throat as they came to the edge of the carpeting that divided the room from the walkway.

“Everyone...uh, this is Nes.”

Nes lifted a hand awkwardly and gave a small wave, feeling her face tinting pink. “Hi.”

“And Nes is your…?” Mrs. Elliot asked.

“Umm, well...she’s going to be my wife.”

Nes whipped her head over to look at him. “And when were you going to tell  _ me _ this?”

Kevin gave her a shrug like he hadn’t said anything crazy. “Right now.”

“Do I get a say in this at all?”

“Do you want a say in it?”

She smiled, but then feigned a casual tone. “I suppose there’s really no need.”

Kevin’s face lit up with a huge grin.

“And have you already set a date as well?” Nes asked with mock sternness.

“Yeah, it’s good you showed up when you did, because I was thinking today would work.”

“Today!? Well, glad I didn’t miss it, but your mother said all these nice people came to see  _ you _ . It might be rude to skip out on them so suddenly.”

Kevin turned and wrapped his arms around her. “They’ll understand.” He dropped his voice to a whisper. “Plus, most of them are leaving tomorrow morning.”

Nes laughed. “Well, maybe it would be best if you gave me a day or two to arrange a few things.”

He narrowed his eyes at her, but finally nodded. “Okay. Two days.” He kissed her firmly before turning back to their audience. “I’ll take congratulations now.”

The room was still too shocked to respond, but finally Kevin’s mom came over and pulled them both into a big hug.

“I’m sorry, you two. We’re all just surprised is all. I’m afraid I didn’t even know Kevin was dating anyone.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

“Well, if you weren’t so secretive about everything…”

“Yes, Mom,” Kevin said in a monotone voice. This was clearly a conversation they’d had often.

From there, it was a blur of names and congratulations and handshakes and hugs and Nes felt completely overwhelmed and in need of fresh air and a drink. Kevin seemed to notice and excused them for a few moments out to the back deck, which  _ did _ have a lovely view of the hills as she had guessed, and she breathed in the cold air slowly as she tried to process what had just happened.

“You okay?” He came up behind her and wrapped her in his arms.

“Yes, just not used to...family functions and such.”

He cleared his throat. “You’re not regretting agreeing to marry me then?”

“Not a bit.”

“Good.” He put his chin onto her shoulder. “I maybe should have proposed in a more romantic way.”

“I thought it was perfect.”

“I don’t even have a ring for you.”

“You mean that was our only chance to get a ring? Oh man, too bad.”

Kevin dug his chin into her shoulder, making Nes’ knees buckle as he hit a nerve. He caught her and pulled her back to standing with a laugh.

“So where were you thinking we’d run off to?” Nes pulled his arms around her tighter.

“Somewhere with a bed,” he whispered as he kissed her neck.

“That’s pretty specific. I’ll have to see which of my houses has that special feature.”

“I really don’t care, though, Nes. Wherever.”

“Well, beach? Mountains? Cabin? Castle? What?”

“What’s easiest?”

“I just have to make a phone call for any of them. Or all of them. No reason we have to stay at one place.”

“Okay, pick a couple then. I’m assuming you have the al’kesh still.”

She nodded. “Yep.”

“Well, that will certainly cut down on travel time.” He turned her around to face him. “You’re sure, Nes? You’re ready? You’re you?”

“Absolutely.”

“And Ba’al?”

“A bad memory.”

He still looked concerned.

“Really.” She slid her arms around his neck. “Sam and Vala helped me remember and now I wake up every morning wanting  _ your _ arms around me again.”

“Well, that can likely be arranged. I do like waking up next to you.”

“Please. You just like kissing me.”

“That is very true.” He brought his lips down to hers, but remembered quickly that everyone inside could still see them. He turned her around back towards the railing and hugged her close. “Best not to get too carried away just yet.”

They stood in silence for a few more minutes before Nes sucked in a breath and chuckled.

“What is it?” Kevin asked.

“I just realized I’ll be Nes Elliot.”

Kevin let out a loud laugh. “Except you’ll become less untouchable with that name change.”

Nes twisted her head around to give him a smile. “I’m not particularly untouchable with you as it is.”

“Five years of waiting would suggest otherwise.”

“That hasn’t just been because of me.”

“True. We’ll blame Lantash.”

“Good idea.”

“Ready to head back in and deal with the five million questions my family is going to have?”

She sighed, but gave him a nod and they ended up on a couch in the living room with everyone gathered around, Nes preparing herself for the expected comments about her appearance.

“You look like Tessa James,” one of Kevin’s younger cousins finally blurt out.

Nes smiled, glad to have it out there instead of whispered around the room. “Yeah, it’s made life pretty interesting, but door to door salesmen take off at a dead sprint when I open the door, so that’s a nice perk at least. Plus, for Halloween I just had to perfect my smirk.”

The room laughed appropriately and then the atmosphere relaxed some.

“So how did you two meet?” The question came from a young woman that Nes thought was Kevin’s sister.

“Kevin shot me.”

The room erupted and Kevin held up his hands to quiet them. “Hey now,” he said to Nes. “Maybe mention it was a training exercise.”

“You didn’t know that,” Nes said with a wink.

“So you’re in the Air Force as well, then?” Kevin’s dad asked.

“Umm...no, more of a...consultant. I work with the Air Force and a few government agencies.”

“Consultant? What are you consulting on?” Dr. Elliot sounded skeptical, a retired Air Force officer himself.

“Various things, but my degree is in astrophysics.”

“Astrophysics? Didn’t know you could get a smart girl, Kevin,” one of his brothers hollered out and Kevin whipped a pillow across the room to hit him.

“So how long have you two been dating?” Kevin’s mom asked.

They both cleared their throats and looked at one another, but Kevin finally turned back to the room. “It’s been off and on for a little over five years now.”

“Five years? And you never mentioned her?”

“Sorry, Mom.”

His mother was clearly annoyed but redirected the conversation. “Now is ‘Nes’ short from something?”

“Nesert.”

“That’s an interesting name.”

Nes had to smile at his mother’s politeness. “Yes. My parents liked Egyptian mythology and it was one of the names of the goddess, Sekhmet. It means ‘The Flame.’”

“And where do your parents live?”

“They passed away several years ago in a car accident, unfortunately.”

“Oh, honey, I’m so sorry.”

Nes just nodded and Kevin wrapped his arm around her shoulders, comforting her not in the death of her parents, but in the death of herself, of her old life.

“Any siblings?”

“No, just me.”

“Well, you have a whole new family now, Nes,” his mother said. Nes looked up to see her genuine smile and wished she could be honest with the woman. Still, she was incredibly appreciative of how welcoming she was.

“So where are you going to get married?” a woman Nes thought might be Kevin’s aunt asked.

“We were just talking about that outside.”

“Why not here?” Mrs. Elliot had pure excitement on her face.

“Mom, I don’t know if--”

“Just hear me out. We can throw together a simple ceremony and reception. It shouldn’t be too difficult to find somewhere local this time of year. We’d love to be a part of your wedding, honey.”

“Mom, we couldn’t possibly ask you to do so much.”

“Of course you can. I’m your mother, Kevin.”

Kevin and Nes looked at one another and she smiled. “I think it’s a great idea.”

He gave her a look of surprise. “You do?”

“Of course. Family is important.”

She tried to hide it, but a wave of sadness crossed her face and Kevin put an arm around her.

“Then I think we invite your aunt and uncle and cousin.” He gave her a pointed look and she understood who he meant.

“You sure?” she asked quietly.

“Of course,” he teased. “Family is important.”

Nes stuck her tongue out at him and he responded in kind, but then she gave him a sheepish look.

“Except, I...uh...haven’t told them I was back yet.”

“Nes!”

She shrugged and dropped her voice. “I’ll go tonight.”

“And I’ll go with you.” He held up a hand as Nes began to object. “And I’ll go with you, Nes.”

She nodded, but then smiled at him again.

“So...wedding. Well, if we’re going to do this then we’re going to  _ do _ this.”

Kevin gave her a concerned look. “Nothing...crazy, Nes.”

“Define ‘crazy.’” Nes laughed as Kevin closed his eyes with a sigh, so she turned to his mother. “Alright, we’ll have it here, but you have to let me handle the majority of it.”

Mrs. Elliot began to object when Kevin cut her off. “Mom, there’s no point in arguing with her. Nes has a stubborn streak like you wouldn’t believe.” He leaned back against the couch and gave Nes his best smirk. “I bet she wouldn’t even let someone stay dead if she decided she wanted them to be alive.”

Nes let out a loud laugh. “Damn straight.” She gave him a kiss and dropped her voice to a whisper. “Same goes for you, though.”

He brought a hand to her face and kissed her gently. “Alright, get the wedding planned so we can move onto being married.”

“Fine, make sure you have your dress blues and I’ll take care of the rest. And I’m going to call some of our friends.”

“Which friends?”

“I was thinking Sam, Jack, Daniel, Teal’c, Cam, Vala, and Hailey. Think you could get a hold of Lantash?”

“Probably. I just talked with him last week.”

“Anyone else?”

“All of my other friends are...not around.” He caught himself with a smile and she tapped his nose playfully.

“Okay, I need to make phone calls.” She stood abruptly, her mind now consumed with the tasks before her, and turned to Kevin’s mother again. “Give me an hour, maybe two, and then we can figure out what else needs to be done.”

Kevin grabbed her hand. “Nes, maybe it’s best if we contact your aunt and uncle first.”

“Right now?”

“Yes, right now.” He turned to his family. “Nes and I are going to take a drive and make some phone calls. We’ll be back in a bit.”

“I can show you the house.”

“What house?”

“I have a lake house in Coeur d'Alene that would be perfect for a small wedding.” She turned back to his parents. “Would that be okay?”

Dr. Elliot gave her a hard look. “I’m sorry? You have a house in Couer d’Alene?”

“Well, I--”

Kevin stood and put his hand on Nes’ arm. “Nes’ family was pretty well off, Dad.”

“I’ll say,” said one of his brothers.

“Listen, we’ll be back tonight, okay?”

Dr. and Mrs. Elliot both nodded and Kevin led Nes through the living room and out the front door, grabbing his jacket on the way out.

“Another Mustang, huh?”

Nes laughed. “It was the closest vehicle for me to have delivered.”

“Your life is so weird.”

“Speak for yourself, Mr. I Usually Live In a Different Galaxy.”

Kevin grabbed her and pulled her into a hug. “Our life together is going to be extra weird, I guess.”

“I’m okay with that.”

“Good. So Coeur d’Alene?”

“Yeah. This is my first time back since Sekhmet bought it when I was her host.”

“Let’s go then. We can beam out from there. I’ll call Nathan on the drive to let him know we’re coming. He’s out of the hospital and living with your parents while he figures everything out.”

“How is Nathan doing?” Nes ventured cautiously as she drove down the road.

“He’s doing pretty well actually. He says you did quite a lot with healing the brain injury.”

Nes just shrugged. “Wish I could have fixed his leg.”

“I know, but he’s grateful for what you did do. Your parents are, too.”

“You’ve met them, then?”

“Yeah…I showed up right after you’d left with Ba’al and Nathan immediately started yelling at me about us not being together anymore and who the hell was this Emyr guy. That kind of stuff. I took off after you...you know what happened then...and after I called the SGC, I had to go back and tell Nathan you were gone. I told your parents he was an old boyfriend that wasn’t willing to let you go.”

“Good thinking.”

“I told Nathan some of the truth, though.”

“How much of the truth?”

“Not that Ba’al had killed you. Just that he was a goa’uld and that he’d captured you, but I assured him that he wanted you alive.”

“Thanks.” She glanced over at him. “What were you even doing there? At the hospital?”

“I was back on Earth for a...for a funeral.”

“What? Whose?”

“Dr. Beckett. There was a device that emitted an odd type of radiation that created explosive tumors in those exposed to it. Dr. Beckett removed a tumor from one of the scientists, but...it exploded before he could get away safely.”

Nes was silent for a while as she thought back to her time and conversations with Carson when she’d been in Atlantis. “I’m so sorry, Kevin.”

He took a deep breath. “While I was back, I heard about Nathan and Colonel Carter said you’d gone to see him.”

“And then you had to watch me die, too.”

He reached over and took her hand, squeezing it tight. “It was a rough week.”


	26. Chapter 26

Nes pulled into the driveway of her house in Coeur d’Alene and Kevin let out a low whistle.

“Why am I even surprised at the size of this place?”

“I have no idea,” Nes laughed. “You should start getting used to it.”

“I don’t think that’s possible.”

“You’d be surprised,” she said dryly.

He followed her into the house and she showed him the living room with its wall of windows and two story stone fireplace.

“It’ll be perfect, don’t you think?”

Kevin nodded as he looked around, taking in the large wooden beams and rustic chandelier. “It’ll be great. My family’s not going to believe this place, though.”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said it was mine.”

“Nah, don’t be sorry. They’re going to have to get used to it, too, I suppose.” He gave her a concerned look. “Ready to go?”

Nes nodded and handed him a locator beacon before beaming herself up to her al’kesh and then bringing him along. They’d arranged with Nathan to beam directly into her parents’ garage, avoiding any prying eyes that would see her come to the house. It would just be added to the long list of things they couldn’t quite explain.

She was grateful her parents had moved and she wouldn’t be forced to walk through her childhood home, feeling the loss of everything all over again, but it was still odd to come down the hall and see all the family pictures that had hung in the old house. She’d forgotten about most of them.

Nathan nearly fell over as he hugged her, his excitement and relief making him forget his balance, but she caught him and they laughed together, her parents rushing toward her and pulling her into their arms.

“Tessa, when Kevin told us who Emyr was, we were so scared,” her mother said with fear in her voice. “Did he hurt you, honey?”

“No, Mom. I’m okay.”

With Nes exhausted just from these simple interactions, Kevin informed them that they were getting married that weekend and would love to have them come. The pair left the logistics all very vague, explaining that they would take care of it and Nes’ family only needed to be here at their house to be picked up. Nes also asked that they make a bit of effort to not look quite like themselves. Nes by herself was already suspicious, but if her family looked just like Tessa’s family, there was no way they were going to buy her just being a lookalike.

Her mom, of course, wondered if they could finally tell Nes’s sisters and invite them to the wedding as well, but Kevin and Nathan both agreed with Nes that that wasn’t a good idea. As much as she missed her sisters, Nes just didn’t have the same confidence in them as she had in Nathan. They’d never keep her a secret.

Nes and Kevin arrived back at her house on the lake, both worn out from the talking and explaining and avoiding and lying, and flopped onto the couch in front of the fireplace, the house being mostly set up by now.

“I’m already exhausted with this wedding, Kevin. We should have just run off.”

“I’m not going to disagree, but I think you’ll be glad we included everyone once it’s over and done with.”

“You make it sound like a root canal.”

He just closed his eyes and smiled. “It’ll be fine. I just want to be married. I don’t care about the wedding.”

“And what makes you want to be married so much?” she said a bit too suggestively.

He reached an arm behind her and pulled her close. “I told you at Yu’s palace that I like waking up next to you.”

“Ah, is that all?”

“No. I fully plan on enjoying falling asleep with you every night, too.” He tried to keep his face straight, but a smile escaped and Nes smacked his chest lightly. He leaned over and gave her what he likely meant to be a quick kiss, but it escalated until he finally pulled away with a groan. “We should go.”

Nes wasn’t sure she wanted to stop, but Kevin was trying so hard to do the right thing with her and it would be cruel of her not to support him in that. She didn’t want to give him any reason to question whether or not he was the good guy or the villain, whether Ba’al had treated her better in any way, no matter how foolish the comparison seemed in her mind. And she wanted him to be fully convinced that she was in control, that he wouldn’t be going to bed with Sekhmet instead. Besides, now that it was only a few more days, it didn’t feel as desperate as in the past when they never knew what would be coming next.

Nes wanted to call Sam before they took off, so Kevin grabbed himself a drink and explored the house while she made sure their friends were available. Sam was, of course, thrilled to hear the news and was fairly sure everyone should be able to make it, though she’d need to contact Hailey at Area 51 and Lantash on the new Tok’ra homeworld. She also thought that she and Vala could help out with retrieving various things using Nes’ al’kesh, making the planning even easier.

“Grab what you need to stay at the house,” Kevin said as she came out of the office.

Nes shook her head. “I’ll just drive back here.”

“You’re not driving back  _ alone _ to stay here  _ alone _ .”

“What the hell? I’ll be fine.”

“No.”

“Kevin, I think I’ve proven that I can take care of myself just fine.”

He brought a hand up to his face in frustration. “Nes, I watched Ba’al kill you. I watched you die right in front of me and there was nothing I could do except let that bastard take you. Every time I close my eyes,  _ that’s _ what I see. Every time, Nes. It killed me to leave you on the al’kesh. I just...I need you close by, okay? I’m not going to put you on a leash or whatever it is that you’re going to say to object.” He put his hands on her arms. “I just need you under the same roof as me for now. I won’t sleep at all if I’m worrying about you alone in this house anyway.”

Nes nodded and went to throw a few things in a bag. She could understand. She’d had to watch him die, too.

Kevin drove them back, needing the distraction, while Nes began making phone calls to her management company to make arrangements. Fortunately, this wasn’t the first time they’d organized a wedding in a short period of time. It wasn’t that Sekhmet was spontaneous, but when she’d trapped the man she sought for his money or power, she’d never allowed any time for him to change his mind.

By the time they pulled into Kevin’s parents’ driveway, the wedding planning was fully underway and Nes was grateful for Sekhmet’s money and organization making everything so much easier than it otherwise would have been.

Kevin turned off the car, but leaned back instead of getting out.

“Regretting proposing?” She said it jokingly, but the moment the words were out of her mouth, she felt fear that it was the truth.

He reached across and took her hand. “Not in the least. Just tired from the day. Lots of lying.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m not sure why you think you should apologize. I lie all the time with the Stargate Program and such. My family’s mostly given up on trying to get more out of me and it’s been easier as of late.” He smiled. “Or it could be that I was just away so much, I thought it was easier.”

“I’m sorry that I’m one more thing you have to lie about.”

He squeezed her hand. “You know what I love, though? I love that I won’t ever have to lie  _ to _ you.”

“That is certainly nice.”

“When I was first told about the Stargate and all that goes with it...there was part of me that worried about what would happen if I met someone and I couldn’t tell her about what I was doing, where I was going, how different the world really was. I’d seen enough military marriages end because of the secrecy.”

“And my whole life is basically one giant lie...except with you.”

“I’m glad to hear it...and you’ve really been honest with me, Nes?”

“More than with anyone else.”

“That’s not saying much, though, is it?” He smiled, but she could see the concern in his eyes.

“It’s not, unfortunately, but I’ve always tried to be truthful with you.”

“Except when you’re deliberately lying to me to supposedly protect me in some way.”

“That doesn’t count, though, does it?”

“Depends if you keep doing it or not.” He leaned his face close to hers.

“Well, I think you’ve stopped falling for it anyway.”

“I have.” He kissed her gently. “So no more of that.”

“It should be obvious at this point that I’ve accepted defeat and just admitted my own selfishness. You’d probably be better off without me, but I wouldn’t be better without you.”

“I’m not better off without you, Nes. That should also be obvious at this point.”

Nes pulled him into a deeper kiss with that. “We should have stayed at my house.”

“Just two more days. We’ve waited this long.” He leaned away from her. “Come on, we’d better go inside.”

“Yep, I just have to make one more phone call. I’ll be right in.”

He gave her a concerned look. “You’re not going to just drive off, are you?”

Nes gave him a reassuring smile. “It’ll only take two minutes. You can wait right on the front porch and take the keys with you.”

Kevin got out, leaving her in the car and she made another call to her management company to have them work on one other item. It took very little time and soon she was walking up to the house to a worried captain.

“What was that about?”

“Nothing nefarious, I promise, but I can’t have you knowing every secret always. At least not at first.”

The rest of the evening was spent chatting with his family, which exhausted Kevin even further with how little they could be truthful about.

“Tomorrow will be total chaos,” Kevin mumbled as he set her up in his old bedroom and grabbed his things to bunk with one of his brothers.

“I think you’ll be surprised at how smoothly things can go when one has the necessary money to inspire the proper motivation.” Nes smiled. “But for the record...I am  _ never _ marrying you again after tomorrow.”

Kevin laughed before kissing her goodnight. “Deal.”

*****

The wedding itself was tasteful and simple - the fireplace and view out the windows being the main decorations. Nes was surprised by how much she enjoyed having everyone there when she had originally wanted to run off and have it just be herself and Kevin. This was right, though. Vows like these were meant to be said in front of those closest to you, not hidden away.

And she and Kevin had been through more than most people, both separately and together. It felt good to celebrate with those who had supported her over the years, watching her grow and change, trying to find herself and her humanity again. This wasn’t the pinnacle of her life, but it was a milestone, a conscious decision to share her life with someone fully, to commit to making each other a priority no matter what else life threw at them.

Everyone enjoyed the meal afterwards, laughing and talking and trying to keep state secrets as secret as possible with the company involved. Sam, Vala, and Teal’c made their way over to Nes to congratulate her.

“Teal’c, what’s with the hair?” Nes pointed to a white patch in his hair that hadn’t been there the last time she’d seen him.

“We were trapped in a time dilation field for fifty years and I had to stay this age in order to save the others.”

Nes’ jaw dropped. “Fifty years?!”

“Indeed.”

“When was this? Sam, you never said anything about that!”

“Didn’t I? It must have slipped my mind.”

“Slipped your mind?”

Sam tilted her head to the side in thought. “Well...I told you about going to the Asgard homeworld and them giving us all their knowledge.”

“Yes, you briefly mentioned that, but not a word about this time dilation field.”

“None of the others have any memory of the time spent aboard the Odyssey,” Teal’c said.

“And he won’t even tell me who I hooked up with,” Vala said in annoyance. “Because obviously, I did.”

“Obviously,” Nes agreed. “But fifty years? Teal’c! That’s awful.”

“It was a rather long period aboard the ship.”

Nes struggled to take in the horror of that, not doing well with being trapped even on a single planet. Fifty years on a ship would be unbearable.

Teal’c smiled before excusing himself and leaving the group of three women.

“But seriously, how can Muscles not tell me who I hooked up with?”

“Isn’t it obvious, Vala?” Nes smiled and looked to Sam who shrugged.

“No,” Vala looked at the ceiling in thought. “Mitchell? Teal’c? You don’t think it was General Landry, do you?”

Nes laughed and put a hand on her shoulder. “Who would you have been bothering nonstop to amuse you?”

“Well, Daniel, of course, but...you don’t think he’d...no...really?”

“I think you’d eventually wear him down.”

“Maybe I should try wearing him down now,” Vala said with a wink, flipping her hair back and strutting across the room to where Daniel was chatting with Nes’ parents.

Sam gave Nes a concerned look. “I better go make sure Vala doesn’t share too much with your parents.”

Nes shrugged. “I doubt she’ll say anything she shouldn’t.”

“It’s Vala.”

“Good point,” Nes said with a laugh as she shooed Sam away.

“You look stunning,” said Lantash as he and Thiras came over with a kiss on the cheek for Nes, though he maintained a normal human voice.

Nes gave him a quick wink. “I know.”

She gave him a hug and he was serious when he looked at her next. “I’m very pleased to see you back to yourself, Nes.”

“I’m sorry for how I behaved before.”

Lantash shook his head. “Think nothing of it.” He then turned to Kevin, who had come over to stand by Nes, and gave him a brotherly hug. “Very happy for you both.”

“Come on,” Kevin said to the Tok’ra. “It’s been a while since you’ve seen my family.”

Nes looked at him with a twinkle in her eye. “And it’s been  _ never _ since they’ve seen him.”

They both chuckled. “Good point,” said Kevin who gave her a quick kiss and went to introduce Lantash to his parents and siblings. They had no idea that the man they spoke to knew them just as well Kevin did.

Nes grabbed another glass of wine and snuck a few looks over towards the fireplace where her brother and Hailey stood talking, both smiling, Hailey blushing slightly. She caught Kevin’s gaze and threw a quick glance over at the flirting pair. He smiled, but his face also held a gentle reprimand. He didn’t need to say it. She could hear him in her head.

_ Don’t meddle. _

“Well, Nes, it looks like that ridiculously impractical dress during Elliot’s training served its purpose,“ Jack said as Nes made her way over to him and several of the other SGC personnel.

Kevin heard the general’s comment and came to join them, putting his arm around his new wife with a laugh. “That was quite a dress, Nes, though I certainly prefer this one.”

Hailey gave the group a smile. “You should have seen the two of them when we went out to celebrate that night. Couldn’t keep their eyes off one another.”

“That is not true!” Nes objected.

“It  _ is _ true, though I will admit that Elliot was clearly the guiltier party.”

Nes turned toward Kevin who gave her an innocent shrug. “I like looking at you.”

Everyone chuckled and Nes gave him a smile and kiss.

The evening wore on and slowly everyone began to disperse, Sam volunteering to beam the guests back to their respective homes as Kevin and Nes thanked them all for coming. In some ways, she wished they could spend more time with all of them in such a relaxed setting, but Daniel let her know that they were headed to Dakara in a few days to start hunting for a possible weapon to use against the Ori. He believed this Ark of Truth could be used to reveal the Ori as the false gods they were.

So they were busy...plus there was a honeymoon to get to.

Finally, it was just Nes and Kevin left aboard the al’kesh after sending Sam home as well. Nes directed the ship over their destination and Kevin looked out the window with curiosity.

“Where are we?” he asked once they’d beamed down into a house featuring wood and stone and glass and light.

“California. Carmel.”

Kevin walked to the windows to see the ocean waves hitting the rocks below them. “So I believe my one request was a bed.”

“I think there are several, actually.”

“Oh?” He came toward her with a mischievous look. “And where would the master bedroom be?”

Nes shrugged. “No idea. I’ve never been here.”

“What do you mean you’ve never been here? Isn’t this your house?”

“I just bought it yesterday.”

“You just bought this house  _ yesterday _ ?”

Nes put her arms around his neck. “I wanted somewhere that was just ours. No Sekhmet. No other memories. Just us.”

Kevin kissed her hard and didn’t hold back as he usually did. “So again I ask... _ where _ is the master bedroom?”

“And again I say...I don’t know.” Nes pulled back with a smile. “But I bet I can find it first.”

“Oh, you think so?”

“Winner gets to spend the night with the loser.”

“You’re on.”

They both took off at sprints in opposite directions, yelling through the house as they searched behind each door. The house was big, but not extravagantly so, and Nes found a large bedroom with a private balcony that she was confident was the master. She flopped herself onto the bed to wait for Kevin to arrive.

He appeared in the doorway, breathing hard, but a smile on his face.

“You lose,” she said triumphantly.

“Pretty sure I’m about to win,” he said as he loosened his tie and took off his jacket.

“Oh, you think so?” she asked, mocking his tone from earlier.

“I know so.”

He dove toward her on the bed, trapping her under him while she laughed and made a pathetic attempt to escape. She quickly admitted defeat, though, letting him kiss her.

“I’m going to get very carried away now, Nes.”

“Good. Any chance you’ll be able to help me out of this dress first?”

“It’s not still too soon?”

“Definitely not.” She grabbed his tie and pulled him down into another kiss.

*****

In the morning, Nes was more than willing to admit that she would have killed significantly fewer people had she had Kevin with her every night.

“Ya know,” she teased as she looked up at him, her head on his chest, “if I had a time machine, I’d just use it to send a note to myself right after I became a She’ket.”

“Yeah? What would it say?”

“Dear Tessa, go find Cadet Kevin Elliot at the Air Force Academy and seduce him so you don’t kill anyone.”

He laughed and flicked her ear gently. “That would have certainly been interesting.”

“Yeah, having The Butcher show up at your dorm. ‘Hi Kevin, my future self told me to have sex with you. How ‘bout it?’”

“That’s a pretty good pickup line. I guess I would have fallen for it.”

“You would not have.”

“Okay, no, but then I’d just have to send a note back to myself, too. Dear Kevin, when Tessa James shows up at your door, kiss her and marry her and then keep her in bed all day and night.”

“Mmm, that would have won me over rather quickly. So what pickup line will work on you now?”

“Any of them. All of them,” he said as he leaned down to kiss her. “Though I don’t think you need pickup lines right now.”

*****

Nes was so blissfully happy, it was easy to forget all the horrors and traumas that they’d both endured to get to this point. One morning, while she watched Kevin getting dressed, she thought of how amazing it was to feel so entirely safe and comfortable with someone after everything she’d been through. She knew life wouldn’t always be like this, easy and carefree, but she could at least savor it while it lasted.

“Enjoying the view?” Kevin gave her a stern look with a glint in his eye, pulling her out of her own head.

“Quite a bit.”

“And were you planning on getting out of bed so we can go eat? I don’t think you’ll meet the dress code with what you’re wearing right now.”

“You don’t think so?” she asked as she threw off the covers.

Kevin quietly laughed and looked up at the ceiling for a few moments before looking back at her with an exasperated look. “Damnit, Nes. I’m hungry!”

He jumped back into bed and breakfast was delayed until closer to lunch.

*****

With the chaos of their usual lives, they both enjoyed the slower pace of their time together, seeing one another every day and night without needing to spend their time and energy on goodbyes.

Kevin pulled her close and kissed her forehead, prompting a deep sigh from Nes.

“You sure we have to go back tomorrow?” she mumbled.

“Mmhmm.”

“Ya know...you could leave the Air Force…” She knew he’d never agree to anything of the sort, but she still needed to voice it.

“Nes…”

“We don’t need the money and it’s not like you’d be stuck on Earth.”

He brought a hand to her face. “Nes…”

“I know. I had to ask.”

“Would you really want me to abandon the Stargate Program?”

“No.” She gave him a wink. “I need an inside man.”

“Like hell you do.”

She gave him a haughty look. “You’re right. I’ve never had any trouble before.”

“Just so long as you remember that you’re not flying solo now, Nes. Not saying you can never do anything, but no disappearing. No running off into ridiculously dangerous situations without even telling anyone where you’re off to.”

“And when you’re going on missions?”

“You know I won’t always be able to give you all the details, Nes.”

“That’s fine. I’ll just hack the computers.”

“Of course you will.”

“That reminds me. You’ve distracted me so much I nearly forgot to give you your present.”

“What present?”

Nes got up and grabbed a small box out of her bag and handed it to him. “Open it.”

Kevin opened the box, revealing a simple metal bracelet with a dark gem. “Is this…?”

“Now you can beam up to the al’kesh when you need to.”

“Well, that’ll cut down my commute.”

Nes chuckled at him. “I doubt General Landry will let you just beam into work.”

“Good point.”

“But if you’re ever in danger…”

“Thank you, Nes.” He kissed her firmly. “I hope I never need to use it in that kind of situation, but it will certainly make me feel better.”

“Me, too.”

“Have you thought about what  _ you’re  _ going to do now?”

“Oh, I just figured I’d be a trophy wife. You know, going to the spa, decorating the house, throwing parties, that sort of thing.”

“Don’t forget lounging by the pool and buying a yappy little dog.”

“Yes! The kind that can fit in my purse.”

“Absolutely. That’ll definitely suit you.”

“But really, I thought I’d talk to General Landry. See if he’ll let me hunt down the clones.”

Kevin gave her a hard look.

“With a team, of course. If I wanted to do it alone, I wouldn’t need to talk to the general.”

“Okay. Just don’t let revenge get in the way of the mission.”

“As in, don’t take the time to torture them.”

“As in, don’t let Sekhmet take over again.”

“Well, for the record, torturing the clones wasn’t nearly the same as torturing Ba’al himself. It was always the same pleas and bargaining and begging and screams. It got old fast.”

He gave her a concerned look and then leaned his head back on the pillow. “I have no idea how to respond when you talk like that.”

“Just smile and nod, smile and nod.”


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stargate: The Ark of Truth

Arriving back at the SGC the next day, Kevin joined back up with the team he’d been assigned to after he’d requested a transfer from Atlantis when Nes had been captured by Ba’al. Nes, meanwhile, worked to track down the general to bug him about clone hunting.

She ran into Daniel first, who let her know that they hadn’t found the artifact they’d been hunting on Dakara. Instead, they were attacked by the Ori, killed a Prior, and managed to turn one of the commanders to their side.

“So who is this Tomin guy?” Nes asked with a confused look. The name sounded familiar, but she couldn’t place it.

“Well, when Vala was sent to the Ori galaxy and realized she was pregnant, she quickly married Tomin to try to pass the baby off as his.”

“He’s Vala’s  _ husband _ ?!”

“Technically, yeah, but...I don’t know. It’s complicated. Talk to Vala about it.”

“I will.” Nes jumped onto the elevator with a wave goodbye. She headed down to General Landry’s office, hoping she’d catch him at a free and agreeable moment.

“General, you know that I would be a big help to anyone hunting the clones.” She’d found him outside the control room and had launched right into her request. “I did kill the real Ba’al, after all. A few times, actually. Plus more clones than anyone else around here.”

“It’s not that I think you don’t have anything to offer to the effort, Nes, but I’m not sure how much of a team player you are.”

“I’m a great team player.” She hunted around for anyone to back up that claim, finding Cam who had appeared around the corner. “Right, Cam? How about our little fun with the Lucian Alliance? I was an excellent team player then.”

“Umm...well, yeah...I mean, sir, she did help out.”

“I even listened to orders when Cam told me we had to go.”

Cam crossed his arms. “I believe I threw you onto the ring platform actually.”

Nes crossed her own arms in response. “But I  _ let _ you.”

The general sighed. “I’ll think about it.” He turned his attention to Mitchell. “What have you learned, Colonel?”

“ **According to Tomin,** ” Cam said as he and the general walked through the control room, Nes following behind, “ **the Ori crusade is planning to send a new wave of ships through the Supergate sometime soon. A coordinated attack on Earth may be imminent.** ”

Nes was already halfway through an escape plan before she remembered she wasn’t going to just run off anymore.

“ **That's a little non-specific,** ” General Landry said with some exasperation.

“ **Yes, sir. I suspect the Priors release details on a need-to-know basis.** ”

“ **Shame you didn't find the real Ark.** ”

“ **Yes, sir. But not for lack of trying.** ”

As the three of them made their way up the stairs to the briefing room, Cam gave Nes a look that suggested she should probably be on her way. She simply acted confused and continued on, though. Without a direct order from the general, she wasn’t going to miss this conversation.

“ **No other useful intelligence?** ”

“ **Well, at the moment, Tomin is coming to grips with the fact that he's devoted his life to serving false gods.** ”

Nes had seen enough men and women go through that experience to know it was no easy task. The shock, the grief, the shame. It was amazing any of them survived the shift to their world.

They reached the top of the steps and Nes nearly ran into the two men as General Landry came to a stop.

“ **Oh, great,** ” he murmured. “ **What does he want?** ”

“ **Who's that?** ” Cam asked, as they saw a man Nes didn’t recognize inside the general’s office reading a file.

“ **Come on in. You might as well meet him.** ” The general likely didn’t mean to include Nes in the invitation, but she wasn’t going to ask for clarification and kept in step with them as they moved through the doorway.

“ **General,** ” the man said as he looked up at their entrance. “ **Colonel Mitchell. I recognize you from your file.** ” He held up the folder in his hand before turning his attention to Nes. **“** And Tessa James. I recognize you from...everything.”

She gave him a cold smile. “Well, then you should know that my name is Nes now...whoever you are.” Her eyes swept over him: tall, clean cut, nice suit, smug. He would probably be fun to kill.

“Nes, **Mitchell,** ” the general looked down at his own file, showing clear disinterest in the visitor, “ **this is James Marrick, IOA oversight.** ”

“ **I'm a huge fan, Colonel.** ” Marrick leaned forward with an outstretched hand for Cam to shake and a smile that Nes wanted to immediately remove from his face.  **“It's a real pleasure to meet you.** ”

“ **What happened to Woolsey?** ” Cam asked the general.

Marrick answered instead. “ **Oh, his time was being taken up by the Atlantis expedition, which, quite frankly, I'm grateful for. It is a thrill for me to be here.** ”

Nes’ hand twitched at his insincerity. It took a good deal of focus to not reach for one of her knives.

He continued with his voice filled with awe. “ **You have been doing such an incredible job under such difficult circumstances. I don't think there's going to be much for me to do here other than stay out of your way.** ”

General Landry shut his folder abruptly, his tolerance for Marrick’s games at an end. “ **What do you want?** ”

“ **I believe protocol requires me to notify you that I will be interrogating the prisoner personally,** ” Marrick responded, his tone innocent and casual.

“ **What prisoner?** ” Mitchell interjected.

“ **I believe your report refers to him as Tomin. No last name.** ”

“ **Oh! Right, sorry. I...uh...I get confused.** ” Cam didn’t attempt to hide his annoyance. “ **See, we were thinking of him more as...a guest.** ” There was a threat in his voice, defending the man who had helped and saved them.

Marrick laughed in surprise. “ **Of course. My mistake.** ” His smug smile faded to his own look of hostility. “ **I trust the enemy commander hell-bent on our total annihilation has been given comfortable quarters?** ”

Mitchell chewed his lip for a moment and smiled. “ **Yeah. He's had a change of heart.** ”

“ **Come on, Colonel,** ” Marrick said in a lowered voice as he moved closer to Mitchell. “ **Don't all bad guys say that after we capture them?** ” He shot a pointed look at Nes.

Cam took a step toward the other man, his own body responding to the subtle aggression. “ **Actually, he captured us...and then he surrendered.** ”

Marrick’s eyes moved to the floor as he pondered this information.

“ **And my people have already questioned the man,** ” General Landry said as he took off his jacket.

Marrick again adjusted his stance, shifting back to innocence with an outstretched hand as he moved back from the colonel. “ **I see. Look, I'm sorry. I really don't want to step on any toes here. My superiors have asked me to prepare a report on this matter personally, and I don't want to disappoint them --** ” he smiled again, **“--me being new on the job and all.** ” His face shifted to threatening once more. “ **You understand.** ”

“ **Of course.** ” General Landry sat down with a glance up at Nes and Mitchell and opened another file. Mitchell leaned against the credenza along the wall with a look of annoyance

“ **Thanks so much,** ” Marrick babbled on. “ **I can't tell you how exciting it is for me to be working here with you. Actually, I used to do what you do, Colonel, so I know exactly how it feels. I'm sure you know I'm just trying to do my job.** ”

The general again shut his folder forcefully at the man’s ramblings. “ **Thank you, Mr. Marrick,** ” he said dismissively and Marrick finally took the hint to shut up and leave.

“ **General. Colonel.** ” His eyes met Nes’. “ _ Nes _ ,” he said with unconcealed disgust and a quick nod.

Marrick turned and walked out the door and Mitchell followed to shut it behind him, turning around to the general with disgust. “ **He ‘used to do what I do?’ What the hell does that mean? What's his background?** ”

“ **Former CIA, black ops.** ”

Nes was surprised she didn’t know him. He must have been deep, which should concern them all.

“ **Oh, great,** ” Mitchell said slowly. “ **So, the IOA is having one of our own spies spy on us?** ”

“ **I have no doubt the IOA chose him carefully.** ”

“ **Why do I get the feeling we're gonna miss Woolsey?** ” Mitchell rubbed his eyes before finally leaving the general to his work.

Nes joined Cam as he left, following him into the elevator.

“Want me to get rid of him for you?”

Mitchell narrowed his eyes at her. “Are you joking or being serious? I can’t tell sometimes.”

Nes shrugged. “Depends what your answer is.”

He chuckled. “Nah, I think that’ll do more harm than good at this point.”

“Fine, but mark my words, you’re going to be begging for someone to kill him at some point and there’s no guarantee I’ll be around to help out.”

“I’m sure I can handle him.”

“Never said you couldn’t.”

The elevator doors opened and Nes stepped out. “I’m going to go talk with Sam. Let me know if you change your mind.”

******

“And how’s married life, Nes?” Sam asked after the two quickly caught up.

“Very nice. You should try it.” She gave the colonel a pointed look, but Sam just laughed at her.

“You’ve come a long way, Nes.”

“I have, haven’t I? Hopefully I can figure out the whole ‘team’ thing here. I already want to just take off and deal with things on my own. I promised Kevin I wouldn’t, though.”

“He wants to keep you safe.”

“I know and I won’t do anything to make him worry more than he has to. He’s had to do too much of that.”

“And you’re sure you can go after the clones...it won’t be too hard after everything?”

Nes shook her head. “I don’t think I’ll ever feel safe with them all still out there.”

“I can understand that. Well, I think the general will probably let you help out. He knows you have valuable information in that area.” She gathered up some papers on her desk. “I need to go give a briefing on our plan to blow up the Ori supergate.”

Nes’ eyebrows shot up. “You’re going to blow it up?”

“Hopefully. We need to keep more ships from traveling here if we can. Then at least we’ll only have to deal with the ones already here.”

“Won’t they just create another one?”

“Well, a few months back, Daniel was able to build a weapon to destroy ascended beings and we sent it through the supergate to the Ori galaxy. We have no way of knowing if it worked or not, though. If it did, then they likely wouldn’t be able to build another supergate.”

So the Ori might be dead. That sounded promising. “Well, good luck. Let me know if I can help.”

******

As it turned out, after speaking with Tomin further, Daniel began to suspect that the Ark of Truth was actually located  _ in _ the Ori galaxy, so a plan was devised to take the Odyssey through the supergate to attempt to find it there.

Sam had been right about the general and he finally agreed to a mission to investigate and hopefully eliminate the cloning facility Nes had discovered. She was fairly certain this wasn’t the only one, so it was decided that it would be best to retrieve her tel’tak first, leaving that for another team to coordinate attacks on other facilities. Unfortunately, her hiding spot had fallen to the Ori and the gate was likely guarded. As the planet was along the path of the Odyssey’s journey to the supergate, though, Nes and Kevin were allowed to tag along so they could be dropped off, beaming down near her ship and hopefully avoiding any hostilities.

“So...Tomin,” Nes said casually as she sat with Vala in her quarters.

“Tomin.” Vala’s voice was a mix of sadness and frustration. “Have you met him?”

“Just briefly. Do you care about him?”

Vala got up to pace in the small space. “In my own way, yes, I suppose, but...he fell in love with the facade.”

Nes nodded in understanding. “And he still wants you to be that woman.”

“Yes, I think so.” She turned suddenly to Nes. “He’s a good man. Decent, honest, caring. I mean...yes, he’s slaughtered thousands, maybe more, in the name of the Ori, but that’s not who he is.” Vala tipped her head up to the ceiling. “I’m a thief, a liar.”

Nes chuckled. “Well, it’s not  _ completely _ unheard of for a good man to love a not-so-good woman.”

Vala smiled. “But if I recall, Captain Elliot knew who you were from the beginning. Even if  _ you _ didn’t know that he knew it.”

“True,” she said with a nod. “I’m just saying that you shouldn’t write him off simply because you don’t think he could really love  _ you _ .”

“I just want someone who knows who I am and sticks around anyway.”

“Speaking of Daniel…” Nes gave Vala a smirk which Vala returned with a thrown pillow to her face.

******

Nes ran into Teal’c as she made her way to the mess hall later and was glad to get a chance to chat with him for a bit. Fifty years older, he still seemed so young physically, but she could see the change in his eyes. She had to wonder what had happened during all those years trapped aboard the Odyssey.

They filled their trays and found Tomin staring out a window, Marrick off to the side watching him with a distrusting glare. Nes gripped her fork tightly, taking deep breaths as she fought down the fantasy of this being the last time he was capable of looking at any of them in that way - or of looking at anything at all.

Tomin looked up at them as they came near and Nes followed Teal’c’s lead, sitting without asking permission. The jaffa took note of Marrick off to the side, but then turned back to the forlorn man.

“ **Nothing I have done since turning against the Goa'uld will make up for the atrocities I once committed in their name.** ” Teal’c looked down for a moment before continuing. “ **Somewhere deep inside you, you knew it was wrong. A voice you did not recognize screamed for you to stop.** ”

Nes had to close her eyes against his words. She had been so adept at justifying her actions to herself, but it had always been lies, always shouting to muffle the screams of her conscience.

“ **You saw no way out. It was the way things were. They could not be changed.** ”

Such familiar lies. Were his words only meant for Tomin or her as well?

“ **You tried to convince yourself the people you were hurting deserved it.** ”

Nes began to feel as though Bra’tac were sitting with them, his wisdom cutting through to the heart with one clean stroke.

“ **You became numb to their pain and suffering. You learned to shut out the voice speaking against it.** ”

Nes swallowed hard, but it was Tomin who found his voice first.

“ **There's always a choice.** ”

“ **Indeed, there is.** ”

“ **I chose to ignore it,** ” Tomin admitted.

“ **Yet you sit here now.** ”

“ **I sit here...and I cannot imagine the day when I will forgive myself.** ”

“ **Because it will never come.** ” Teal’c’s voice was surprisingly harsh and Nes opened her eyes to look over at him. “ **One day, others may try to convince you they have forgiven you. That is more about them than you. For them, imparting forgiveness is a blessing.** ”

Tomin turned to Teal’c with torment in his face. “ **How do you go on?** ”

“ **It is simple. You will** **_never_ ** **forgive yourself. Accept it.** ”

He was right. Nes knew it, but it still pained her to hear it.

“ **You hurt others. Many others.** **_That_ ** **cannot be undone.** ”

No, it couldn’t be undone. She could never give back the lives she’d taken.

“ **You will never find personal retribution. But your life does not have to end. That which is right, just, and true can still prevail.** ”

Nes felt her chest start to fill with hope again, that tiny flame that she had tried to smother time and again.

“ **If you do not fight for what you believe in, all may be lost for everyone else. But do not fight for yourself, fight for others - others that may be saved through** ** _your_** **effort.** ” Teal’c paused for a breath. “ **That is the least you can do.** ”

That had been her trouble. She hadn’t believed good could follow evil because she had been trying to fight for herself. Fighting for others...she could do that. There would always be a darkness in her and blood on her hands, red and dripping. They would never be clean, but even dirty hands could do some good in the world.

Tomin turned back to the window and the three of them sat in silence for a while before Kevin came in to let Nes know that they would arrive at their destination soon. She wished both Teal’c and Tomin luck and went to grab her things.

******

Nes and Kevin were beamed down to the planet and quickly located her cloaked tel’tak, glad that the only enemy presence seemed to be confined to the area surrounding the gate. It would be a bit of a trek back to Earth, but the two were able to see it as a continuation of their honeymoon. Likely everyone figured that would be the case, which was why General Landry hadn’t objected to just the two of them retrieving the ship. Still, even with the pleasant company, both of them were anxious to get back to the SGC and begin their mission.

The plan at this point was to capture a clone at the facility Nes had located and obtain the new tracker frequency. Once they had that, they could locate any other cloning facilities and do a coordinated attack on all of them at once. Then it would just be a matter of rounding up the remaining clones throughout the galaxy, hopefully catching Kappa and maybe even the real Ba’al along the way.

Kevin’s team, two other teams, and a medical team with a surgeon were given the assignment and took Nes’ al’kesh. It was a few days in hyperspace, which left everyone a bit agitated, but fortunately the ship was big enough that they weren’t all on top of one another the entire time.

They arrived above the planet and beamed a team down to scout things out, everything appearing as Nes had described it. They just needed to figure out how to get a clone without it being noticed for a while. There were Jaffa guards patrolling, but the clones themselves seemed to be free to roam. They couldn’t just wait around and hope to get lucky with one of them wandering off too far, though.

Nes volunteered to lure one away from the facility, which Kevin fully opposed, but with no other ideas, he tightened his jaw and gave her a quick nod. She, Kevin, and his team beamed down, leaving the others still on board, ready to beam them out if there were trouble of any kind.

One of the clones came close to the edge of the woods and Nes moved silently around a tree further in, leaning casually against it and giving him a seductive smile. He blinked several times and looked around, but the fool eventually came toward her, a hopeful smirk on his face.

“Sekhmet,” he said as he crossed his arms and looked her over, “what are you doing here?”

“I thought I’d come see the newest batch. You all look fit and...capable.”

He took a few more steps toward her. “Quite capable.”

Nes gave him a smile and closed the gap between them, reaching her hands out to glide up his chest and clipping a locator beacon to him. “For being identical, you all do seem to have your own...talents.” She moved a hand behind her back to signal to the team watching that she’d planted the device on him.

“I’m sure I can think of something new to show you.”

“I certainly hope so,” she said as she took a step back. Before he could follow her, though, he was beamed aboard the al’kesh and by the time Nes joined him, he’d been stunned by the waiting teams.

“See? Simple.” She gave everyone a smile and pulled out a knife, moving toward the clone on the ground.

“Sedate him and we’ll remove the tracking device,” Kevin said to his team.

“You’ll have to kill him,” Nes said matter-of-factly. “They’re buried deep.”

“If he dies while we’re removing it, fine, but I’m not going to murder him first.”

“I’ll do it.”

“No, you won’t, Nes. That’s why we brought a surgeon, remember? Maybe the host can still be saved.”

“I doubt he  _ wants _ to be saved.”

“Well, you don’t get to decide for him.”

She gave him a cold look, but finally nodded.

They’d set up a makeshift surgery in the cargo hold and Nes left while they worked, having no desire to watch them try to save the monster. Instead, she went to the bridge to monitor the base below, watching for any increase in activity or communications. So far, they didn’t seem to have noticed they were short one clone.

Kevin came in and put a hand on her shoulder, massaging it gently. “They got the beacon out, but he didn’t survive.”

“Told you.”

“Nes, come on, you know we couldn’t do that.”

She sighed. “I know.”

“We have to move fast now. They’re cleaning up the device, but you’d be best for grabbing the frequency off it.”

“Alright, let’s go.” She followed him to the cargo hold where she used the same techniques as in the past to get the new frequency.

A quick jog back to the bridge to input the new information and she watched as signal after signal after signal appeared on her screen.

“There’s so many, Kevin,” she said with despair.

“When has Ba’al ever done anything on a small scale?” He pointed to the screen. “Look, though. There’s three groupings of them. We’ll transmit the coordinates back to the SGC. They have strike teams waiting. We’ll take out all three facilities at the same time and then pick off the remaining clones.” He squeezed her shoulder. “We’ll get them all, Nes.”

The dead clone was eventually missed down below, but it seemed they still just thought he’d wandered too far off the base and jaffa were sent to look for him. Fortunately, the clones themselves stayed close to the base. When the strike teams were in place at the other locations, Nes beamed explosive devices directly into the buildings, twirling a knife in her hand and wishing she could see the light leave their eyes as they died.

From there, they took out the survivors and made sure the facility was fully destroyed. The other two facilities were just as easily taken out. Ba’al had clearly been overconfident in their secrecy, never thinking they could all be lost at once.

*****

They headed back to Earth, Nes with a near constant smile at their success. Upon their arrival home, they learned that the Odyssey had returned, having found the Ark of Truth and used it in that galaxy to reveal the lies the Ori had spread through their religion.

The Ori had, in fact, been destroyed by the weapon Daniel had created, but Vala’s daughter, Adria, the Orici, had claimed all of their power after she’d ascended. Greatly weakened when the truth had been revealed and she could no longer feed on the galaxy’s worship, another Ascended being engaged her in a battle that would keep her from harming mortals again. SG-1 then used the Ark on a Prior here in the Milky Way and the revelation of truth stopped the rest of the followers.

The war was over.

And Marrick was dead, which pleased Nes more than it should have. The man had created a Replicator aboard the Odyssey under orders from the IOA, hoping to infect the Ori ships. Willing to sacrifice the crew of the Earth ship, he instead found himself on the altar, his body taken over by the Replicators. Colonel Mitchell had tried to stop him, but had taken quite a beating before Sam had been able to shut down the Replicators entirely.

“Should have taken me up on my offer, Cam,” Nes said as she waltzed into the infirmary.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. You were right. There was definitely a point where I was begging for someone to kill him.”

“I mean, to be fair, I only thought he’d kill you metaphorically...ya know, with paperwork or annoying regulations.”

“I think I preferred Replicator Marrick’s approach better.”

Nes laughed, but then cringed a bit. “Did he really have Replicators coming out of his back and sticking into his brain?”

“Yeah...how can that possibly make  _ you _ queasy?”

Nes smirked. “I may have had a snake in my head, but at least I still looked good.”

Cam chuckled and then groaned, clutching his side.

“You okay?”

“Yeah,  **I’ve felt worse.** ” He reached toward a paper bag. “Want a cookie? Sam baked them.”

Nes raised her eyebrows. “ _ Sam _ baked them?” she said in exaggerated innocence.

Cam gave her an exasperated look. “You helped, didn’t you?”

She smiled. “It’s not her fault. I think she gets bored with the basic math of cooking and starts doing complex calculations in her head. I barely caught her before she put in an entire cup of salt.”

“Well, thank you. Ya know, I would’ve thought I’d be more scared of  _ you _ poisoning me, but apparently I have to keep an eye on Carter.” He handed the bag over for Nes to grab one. “How’s the clone hunting going?”

“Good. It’s going to take a while, though. Ba’al created a whole lot of friends for himself.”

“Friends...”

“Even with several teams and the Tok’ra when they can, it’s still going to take a long time to get them all. Especially once they realize they’re being hunted.” She gave him a smile. “Still, I think I’ll celebrate with each one.” 

Cam held up a cookie. “To your future freedom from all things Ba’al.”

Nes laughed and ‘clinked’ her own cookie to his. “To freedom.”


	28. Chapter 28

“You’re leaving?!” Nes said in shock as Sam sat across from her. “What about SG-1?”

“I know.” Sam sighed and Nes could see some guilt on her face. “I worry that I’m leaving my work unfinished, but this is such an amazing opportunity.”

“It is, and I’m happy for you. Taking over command of Atlantis...it’ll be amazing and you’ll do a great job. I just...I’m going to miss you, Sam.”

Sam gave her a smile. “I’m going to miss all of you, too.”

Nes put her chin in her hand with a bit of a pout. “Who am I going to go to for advice?”

“Vala?” Sam said with a wink.

Nes raised her eyebrows. “Funny. But really…”

“Nes, you can always contact me, and you and Kevin can come for a visit, too. In fact, I expect it.”

“And Jack?”

The colonel looked down at her desk, but her voice held innocent confusion. “And Jack what?”

“Sam…”

“And General O’Neill is very busy, but I’m sure we’ll keep in touch. I’ll be in touch with all of you.”

Nes crossed her arms and gave the other woman a reprimanding look. “You are ridiculous. You know that, right?”

A small smile crept onto Sam’s face along with a light blush. “I do.”

“When do you leave? Any time for a last club weekend getaway?”

“Just a few weeks, so probably not, but if I have any time off down the road?”

Nes nodded sadly. “Sam?” She waited for her to look up. “I’d never be where I am now without you.”

Sam stood with a smile and held out her arms. “Come here.”

Nes chuckled, but came around the table to give her a hug. “Thanks again.”

“Anytime, Nes. Take care of everyone here for me, okay?”

Nes sniffed and cleared her throat as her eyes threatened tears. “Will do.”

******

Life took on a rhythm with hunting the clones - days spent planning and chasing, nights spent with Kevin, days off spent enjoying her various homes with company and laughter, which was a particularly nice change from the loneliness she’d felt before.

“Where’s this next clone then?” Nes asked as they got dressed one morning to head into the SGC.

Kevin cleared his throat and gave her a cautious look. “We’re going after Kappa. He seems to be hiding out in Lucian Alliance territory, bouncing between those worlds.”

Kappa. Good. She would enjoy killing him so much more than the other clones. She smiled. “So Asra, then.”

He gave her a momentary look of concern with her obvious glee, but seemed to push it aside. “I do like you in those outfits.”

Nes winked at him. “Everyone does.”

“Well, that I  _ don’t _ like.”

“Ever the jealous type.”

He grabbed her arm and pulled her close. “Like you aren’t.”

“I wouldn’t get jealous. I’d just kill them.”

Kevin chuckled. “I think that counts as getting jealous.”

Nes shrugged. “Come on. We’ll be late.” She tried to move out of his arms, but he held her firm, giving her a suggestive look.

“Since when do you care about being late?” His lips moved down her neck.

Nes wasn’t open to distractions this morning, though. She was too focused on killing Kappa now. “Since you made me play by the rules.”

“I should have known there’d be a downside,” Kevin grumbled. He gave her one more kiss before reluctantly releasing her. “Alright, let’s go.”

******

They took the al’kesh and tried to locate the wandering Kappa’s signal. Nes was familiar with several of the planets and, after dressing the rest of the team in more appropriate offworld attire, ventured into a few bars and renewed some acquaintances, asking about a stranger coming through town.

She came out of the latest bar, finding Kevin and his team looking out of place despite the wardrobe change as they watched the villagers going about their daily lives.

Nes made sure Kevin saw her run her eyes over him - leather pants and vest with a long jacket hiding his sidearm and zat gun - and gave him a wink. “I can’t say I mind this type of outfit on you either.”

He chuckled. “Behave. Any news?”

“He’s come into town for supplies a few times over the last month, always alone, but always getting enough for several people.”

“So he likely has some jaffa or slaves with him.”

“I’d guess so. One of the men at the bar said he’s seen activity at an abandoned mill outside of town. Might be worth checking out.”

He gave a nod and they all followed Nes as she went the direction the man had indicated. The mill was easy enough to find, perched along the bank of what likely used to be a fast flowing river before it was dammed and diverted towards the kassa plantations.

Kevin directed the team in their approach, all carefully watching for any movements or traps, but encountering nothing as they entered from various directions.

“There’s nothing here, sir,” said one of the lieutenants.

“I’m seeing that. Well, it was worth a shot. Let’s move out.”

Kevin moved back towards the door, but flinched back as he hit a red forcefield.

“What the hell?”

The others also tried to leave with no success.

“It’s a trap. Shit.” Kevin, his training keeping him calm, turned to Nes. “Try to beam out.”

Nes tapped her bracelet, but nothing happened. “Not good.”

“No,” he said with a sigh. “Seen this technology before, Nes?”

“I’m guessing it’s a type of forcefield developed by Sokar. I’ve seen a few bounty hunters use it as well.”

“Great. And thoughts on how to get out?”

“It’s not like the goa’uld personal shields. Slow moving objects won’t pass through.”

“So that’s a ‘no’ on escaping then?”

“That’s a ‘no.’”

They heard movement outside, leaves crunching as footsteps approached, and a hooded figure appeared in the doorway near Kevin.

“My dear,” a distorted voice said as he drew his hood back, “I was so hoping it would be you who fell into my trap.”

Nes shifted her own voice. “Release me, Kappa. I won’t be prisoner to a lowly clone.”

He smirked. “It is fortunate, then, that I am not Kappa...Tessa. Did you think you could kill me so easily?”

Nes froze. Only Ba’al would know she wasn’t Sekhmet.

“My loyal jaffa found me soon after you escaped and revived me in the sarcophagus. You should have spent your time killing me instead of just simple torture.”

She shrugged and tried to appear unafraid. “It was far too enjoyable, I’m afraid.”

“Well, now I’ll get to enjoy  _ your  _ screams. I’m going to take my time with you, Tessa. I have so many years of betrayal to punish you for.” He looked her over slowly. “Of course, it won’t all be painful for you. Some of it, I expect, you will enjoy quite intensely, no matter how much you resist.”

Kevin took a step toward him, raising his weapon despite the futility of it.

Ba’al looked at him in amusement, but also a hint of jealousy. “And it’s your loyal Tok’ra host again. Is he your lover, Tessa?”

Neither of them acknowledged his question.

“Well, perhaps he’d like to watch, see how much he is lacking.”

Nes felt sick at the thought, but she’d already thrown away the mask that would have saved herself and the others. She inwardly cursed her and Sekhmet’s foolishness.

_ Why _ had she revealed her true nature?

“Let the others leave safely and not only will I go with you, I will do everything you ask completely willingly.” She smiled. “You know how much I came to regret not having you.”

Kevin opened his mouth to object, but she silenced him with a single look. Even he could see that this option was better. He and his men would never survive if they were all captured.

“I think you’ll be far more cooperative if I’m holding them prisoner, actually. Put down your weapons. And Tessa, darling, take off your bracelet. I can’t have you escaping. And if you don’t want me to have you strip naked, I suggest you start piling knives on the ground.”

Nes did as she was told, keeping a few knives back, but knowing there were enough to satisfy him for the moment. She put her bracelet on top of the pile and gave Kevin a quick look as she straightened again.

“Hands on your heads, please.”

They all complied, but the moment the forcefield lowered, Kevin tapped his own bracelet, hidden under his sleeve, and beamed away.

Ba’al hollered in fury and ordered the forcefield reactivated, but Nes was quick with a knife aimed at the jaffa, the blade piercing his palm as he cried out in pain. The other jaffa fired their staff weapons at the remaining prisoners - one of the lieutenants collapsed to the ground and Nes took a hit to the back of her shoulder, but as she dropped to a knee, she reached out to grab her bracelet.

“You fools! Get her!”

Ba’al’s anger was hitting levels Nes had rarely seen before, but soon he faded away and Kevin was quick to beam up the other team members. Nes grit her teeth and tried to ignore the blood streaming down her back and arm as she tended to the injured lieutenant who groaned in pain. His injury was severe enough that they opted to go to the closest Stargate and head back to the SGC. They’d have to retrieve the al’kesh later.

Nes’ shoulder was in rough shape, but the goa’uld healing device combined with the infirmary’s techniques had her at least heading home for the night with plans to go back for her ship in a few days.

Kevin and Nes were silent as they drove back to the house, fear, exhaustion, and pain stopping the formation of words. Kevin paced for a long while, even after he’d helped Nes get changed and into bed, but finally he crawled under the covers and pulled her into his arms.

There still weren’t any words to speak, but Nes cried as the horror of what had almost occurred began to sink in and she felt her hair grow damp with Kevin’s choked sobs as well.

They’d almost lost everything.

“You can’t go after any more of them, Nes.” His voice was thick and quiet as he stroked her hair.

She didn’t respond.

“ _ Please, _ Nes.”

She didn’t want to be left behind, waiting. She hated just waiting. “I could just not go after Kappa.”

Kevin pulled back to look at her. “And if Ba’al uses one of the new beacons next? We have no way of knowing which one of those signals is the real Ba’al. No way of knowing when we’ll be walking into another trap.”

Nes lowered her eyes in shame. “I should never have told him I wasn’t Sekhmet. I was so  _ stupid _ .”

Kevin kissed her forehead. “He wouldn’t let you go no matter what name you went by, Nes. He doesn’t tolerate not getting what he wants.”

“How can I just sit back here and do nothing, though?”

He sighed and wrapped his arms around her again. “I can’t lose you, Nes. I  _ can’t _ . Just let us go after the remaining clones. Hopefully we’ll take out Ba’al while we’re at it.”

“If he captures you, though…”

“Well, I have a feeling General Landry is going to take my team off clone hunting entirely after this. Because you’re right. I’m probably a target now, too.”

“He wouldn’t hesitate to use you to get to me.” She gripped the front of his shirt. “And I would do anything he asked me, Kevin. Anything.”

“It’s not going to happen, okay?” he said firmly. “We got away today. We won’t give him another opportunity.”

“And if he comes here?”

He took a few breaths. “Maybe it’s time to ask General Landry to let us beam back and forth so we can’t be followed. Buy a different house, too. We could live onboard the al’kesh even, if you wanted.”

“I can set up a jamming frequency to prevent anyone else beaming in besides us. I’ve done that at other locations.”

“See? We’ll be fine.”

She knew that he didn’t expect her to believe it anymore that he himself did, but they smiled at one another and agreed that everything would be fine.

Absolutely fine.

Perfectly fine.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SGA Episodes 4.09 “Miller’s Crossing” and 4.15 “Outcast”

A few weeks later, the buzz at the SGC was that Dr. McKay’s sister had been kidnapped and when Agent Barrett showed up to help, Nes assumed they thought The Trust might be involved. They  _ were _ the most likely culprits after all. Perhaps they would use it as some kind of leverage against Atlantis.

“Miss Saeda,” Agent Barrett said as she came into the Briefing Room where he was with General Landry. “Or I heard you recently married. Mrs. Elliot now?”

“How about just ‘Nes’?” she said with a smile. “So no word yet from the kidnappers?”

“No, but--”

He was cut off by the sound of the gate activating and they all looked through the windows down to the Gate Room.

“That’ll be Dr. McKay, Col Sheppard, and Ronan Dex. The new Gate Bridge is certainly nice when we need people here fast,” said General Landry. “Care to greet them with Agent Barrett, Nes?”

She gave him a smile, glad of any task given to her these days, and then followed the NID agent down the stairs and into the Gate Room. Sam and Rodney had developed a system of Stargates that could forward matter on, allowing one to travel from the SGC to Atlantis with just a single stopover at the Midway Station that allowed the change from the two different gate systems. The journey that once took three weeks via ship now took a little over thirty minutes.

“ **Gentlemen. I'm Agent Barrett,** ” he said as he approached the ramp, greeting the three men. “ **I work with the NID. Mr. Woolsey has asked me to help you any way that I can. I'm sorry that we couldn't meet under better circumstances.”** He gestured to Nes. “I believe you all know Nes Elliot.”

“Elliot?” Sheppard said with a smile. “Well, there ya go. Rumors confirmed.”

“Hi, guys.”

“ **Have the kidnappers tried to make contact with us yet?** ” McKay said in clear exasperation.

“ **No, I'm afraid not,** ” said Barrett.

“ **Okay, well I need to get to Vancouver.** ”

Agent Barrett gestured to the side door. “ **Okay, the Daedalus is in orbit, so it will be a quick trip.** ”

They all followed him out.

“ **Have you learned any new information yet?** ” asked Sheppard.

“ **No, not yet. The NID is liaising with Sisus on the ground. They are expecting us.** ”

“ **Si-what, now?** ”

Nes had to chuckle at Sheppard’s confusion.

“ **Canadian Security Intelligence Services,** ” McKay explained. “ **They're…kinda like our CIA.** ”

" **CSIS. That's the best you guys can do, huh?** ”

They all joined Barrett in the elevator where he took note of their attire, specifically Ronan’s very offworld look.

“ **We will be out in the open, so…perhaps a change of clothes first?** ”

Ronan looked around at everyone and then down at himself in confusion. “ **What?** ”

“Good luck finding anything in his size, though,” Nes noted. “Might have to borrow something from Teal’c.”

While they hunted for something suitable for Ronan, Sheppard joined Nes in the hallway, McKay pacing back and forth with occasional outbursts on the delay.

“So...married?”

Nes smiled at the colonel. “Yep. You ever been married, Sheppard?”

He gave her a sideways glance. “You’ve read my file, I’m sure.”

She shrugged. “Yes, but I do try to be polite.”

“Well then, you know that yes, I was married, but it didn’t work out. Too many secrets.”

Nes nodded in understanding. “Well, that is a definite perk of marrying within the secrecy.” She gave him a wink. “That and having a wife who will just hack whatever necessary to figure out what’s going on.”

Sheppard chuckled. “I bet. So where is Elliot? Haven’t seen him since the funeral.”

“Beckett’s. Yeah, he told me. Awful.” She took a deep breath. “Kevin and his team are off looking into some reports of ruins on some planet. They should be back tonight, though.”

“Not clone hunting? Isn’t that what you guys were doing?”

Nes rubbed her shoulder subconsciously. “There was an...incident a few weeks ago. The real Ba’al laid a trap for us...for me, so we’re off clone hunting for now.”

“Shit. I thought I heard the real Ba’al was dead.”

Nes sighed. “Yeah, killed him myself, but...I didn’t do a good enough job.”

Ronan came out then, dressed in jeans, button down shirt, and jacket, looking uncomfortable with the attire.

“You gonna be up for some sparring later, Nes?” Ronan gave her a big grin.

Sheppard groaned. “Elliot will kick your ass if you hurt his wife.”

“Please, we both know I would have won the last time if it hadn’t been for…” Her voice trailed off and everyone shifted awkwardly, but Agent Barrett came around the corner then to collect them.

“Nes, I’d ask you along, but we don’t know who’s involved yet.”

“Right. I’ll hold down the fort...like I always do now.” She gave a half smile and then waved them off. “Good luck, guys.”

*****

Nes tried to keep herself busy, but her restlessness was increasing every day and she never liked when Kevin was away. She went for a run, she bothered a few of the scientists to see what they were working on, she checked with General Landry several times to see if there were any updates on McKay’s sister, and she briefly contemplated heading home for at least a little bit to grab a drink. Fortunately, Kevin’s team dialed in on time and she finally started to calm down once she saw he was safe.

“I hate being the one left behind,” she mumbled as they walked down the corridor.

“Well, now you have a tiny glimpse into how I felt all the times you disappeared.”

Nes stopped walking as his tone turned harsh and Kevin rubbed his eyes for a moment before turning back to her.

“I’m sorry, Nes. I’m just tired. I know you didn’t mean to hurt me those times...except when you intentionally hurt me to somehow hurt me less.” He gave her a smile to lighten the mood. “What did I miss while away?”

Nes filled him in on McKay’s sister and he was anxious to see some of his old friends once everything was sorted out. They didn’t have to wait long as Sheppard, Ronan, and Agent Barrett returned to the SGC just as Nes and Kevin were about to head home.

The two of them joined the others in the control room, Elliot receiving friendly greetings and a bit of teasing from his friends. McKay’s sister’s computer had been monitored and apparently some emails between her and Rodney about nanites had prompted the kidnapping. Rodney had tracked whoever had set up the monitoring to an address there in Vancouver, but he and Barrett had been ambushed, McKay taken.

“Well, he has a tracking beacon, right?” Nes asked.

“It’s not showing up,” said Sheppard. “That’s what Harriman is trying to figure out.”

“ **That's right, sir,** ” CMSgt Harriman said into the comm. “ **They must've neutralized the transmitter.** ”

“ **What about the lead you were following?** ” Ronan asked Barrett.

“ **Uh…dead end,** ” Barrett said, a minor wound on his head. “ **It's a small, rented room with a router that ported data to a site in Singapore. I mean, who knows where it was forwarded from there. We've got our best IT guys on the job, though. We're going to start tracing the paper trail, and hopefully it's going to turn up a lead.** ” His voice got more insistent. “ **We've been combing the security, traffic, and ABM cameras from the area where we got ambushed, talking to witnesses. We've got half the Vancouver PD on this one. We're going to get 'em.** ”

Barrett started to leave, but Nes followed him out into the corridor.

“Agent Barrett, can’t you contact Adaar?”

He looked at her in surprise. “Nes, I thought you knew.”

Nes’ heart sped up. “What happened to him?”

“No! Nothing. I’m sorry. It’s just, since Ba’al killed his clones with the symbiote poison, Adaar’s been in hiding, pretending he died that day, too.”

Nes blew out a breath. Adaar was okay. “He must be going crazy hiding away.”

“It hasn’t been easy, but we did assure him that he could resume his life if Ba’al is killed.”

“He can join my club with that one,” she said with an edge.

“Right now Farrow-Marshall reported that he’s taken a leave of absence for his health and we connected Adaar with the CIA. Kerry Johnson is his new contact.”

Agent Barrett left to go make phone calls and Nes stood for a few moments dealing with the guilt she felt over abandoning Adaar. Ba’al’s death was the only thing that would give them both their lives back.

And it was also the thing that seemed so impossible to achieve.

She felt a hand come around her shoulders and turned to see Kevin as he, Sheppard, and Ronan came out of the control room.

“What’s up?” Kevin asked with concern as he saw her expression.

“Nothing. We’ll talk later.” She gave the others a smile. “So, did you convince Kevin to allow some sparring?”

“What?” Kevin turned to Ronan with a glare.

Sheppard smirked. “Told you he’d kick your ass, Ronan.”

“He doesn’t need to,” Nes said. “I’ll do it for him.”

“No, you won’t.” Kevin pointed a finger at Nes and Ronan. “No sparring.”

“You’re no fun,” Nes said, moping.

“I haven’t seen you in two days and I have other plans for your night.”

Nes gave him a seductive smile. “I take it back. You’re lots of fun.”

He grabbed her hand and started towards the elevator yelling a goodbye to Sheppard and Ronan.

“You’re ditching us already, Elliot?” the colonel hollered with mock offense.

“Yes, I am. Call me if you need anything.”

Ronan smirked and crossed his arms. “You sure you want us to call you?”

“How ‘bout we’ll call you?” Nes said with a wink.

Kevin pulled her into the elevator and she gave him her full attention as the doors shut.

“I hate when you’re gone.”

“I’m not very fond of it either, actually.” He kissed her. “I do like having someone to come home to, though.”

“You sure we shouldn’t stay and help?”

“I’m exhausted, plus I need to say hello to you properly.”

“I do enjoy your proper greetings.”

*****

Nes woke while it was still dark and knew she wasn’t going to fall back asleep. Kevin was still sleeping soundly, worn out from the mission, so she left a note and quietly got dressed before beaming herself back to the SGC to check on the situation.

Nes made her way to the guest quarters, hoping she’d catch someone roaming around. Instead she heard voices filtering down the corridor.

“ **Really?** ” It was Dr. McKay and he sounded pretty upset. “ **You want to talk about chain-of-command right now?** ”

**“You are not doing this.** ” Sheppard. Somewhat upset Sheppard.

Nes moved down the corridor to hear better.

“ **She's here because of me!** ” McKay’s voice was filled with such desperation and, frankly, more caring than she’d ever heard from him before. “ **I can't fix the problem, but I can help the guy who can. Look, this was not an easy decision to make.** ”

What on earth was McKay trying to convince Sheppard to let him do?

“ **I can't.** ”

**“Please.** ”

Rodney begging?

“ **I'm sorry.** ”

McKay came out of the room, but walked past Nes with barely a glance. She watched him go for a moment, struck with the despair on his face, but then walked into where the colonel was leaning against a desk. His eyes were a bit wet and he quickly looked down when he saw her enter.

“What’s going on, Sheppard? What happened?”

He cleared his throat a few times. “We found McKay and his sister, Jeannie. The guy who kidnapped them, Henry Wallace...his daughter had leukemia and he was trying to use nanites to cure the cancer, but he needed help with the coding.”

“Okay…”

“He injected Jeannie with the same nanites as...motivation.” Some anger began to lace his words. “The stupid little robots killed the girl. Stopped her heart to fix it and starved her brain of oxygen, then ran out of steam while fixing her arteries. She bled out internally.”

“And how’s his sister now?” Nes could understand the panic.

“We put her in a coma and broke her legs.”

“I’m sorry? You broke her legs?”

“We needed to give the nanites a job so they wouldn’t try to shut her down to fix her epilepsy.”

“Shit. Okay, so how close is McKay to figuring out the programming?”

“We brought a Wraith we have prisoner to help, but he...he needs to feed. He doesn’t have the strength to finish.” He brought his hand to his face. “And McKay is trying to convince me to let the Wraith feed on him.”

“Well, easy. We just need to find a meal for the Wraith. I can have some scumbag here in...half an hour. Forty-five minutes tops.”

“The SGC is never going to allow that.”

“Yes, because I always play by the rules, Colonel.” She sighed. “Well, what about the guy who did this? Where’s he?”

“In a holding cell.”

Nes gave Sheppard a pointed look. “Maybe you need to have a little chat with him... _ present _ the situation.”

He looked at the floor for a while before finally nodding and heading to the door.

“Sheppard…” Nes waited for him to pause and turn his head slightly back to her. “He just lost his daughter. If Jeannie has a family...bring pictures.”

Sheppard took a few deep breaths and then left, his steps labored as he walked down the corridor. Nes felt a twinge of guilt, but it was more about Sheppard being forced into this rather than what she had actually suggested he do.

She wandered for a while, but eventually made her way to the lab where they’d been working on the nanites and heard what sounded like McKay yelling to be let into the lab. She came around the corner to see the door slide open and McKay walk in. Two orderlies left the room with a body bag on a gurney.

“ **I was showing Wallace the labs,** ” she heard Sheppard say in a low voice. “ **The Wraith got the upper hand. That's what the report's going to say.** ”

“ **You…** ” McKay was clearly in shock.

Nes moved to the side to let the gurney pass, coming into view of Sheppard, who looked at the gurney and then at her for a moment, before directing his eyes back to Rodney.

“ **Come on, you've got work to do,** ” Sheppard said, and Nes looked further into the room towards a tall figure with white hair who turned suddenly towards them.

The Wraith.

“ **No, he does not,** ” he said in a distorted voice, not totally unlike the goa’uld in some ways. “ **I've completed the reprogramming.** ”

“ **That was quick,** ” Sheppard said. “ **Well, get it uploaded.** ”

McKay joined the Wraith in working and Sheppard joined Nes in the hall.

“You okay?” she asked.

“I’d really rather not talk about it.”

“You did the right thing.”

“Doesn’t feel like it.”

Nes sighed. “Yeah...I know. Coffee?”

“Please.”

Kevin found Nes and Sheppard with Ronan having breakfast in the mess hall later and he gave her a slight reprimand for not waking him when she left.

“You were tired,” she said, giving his leg a quick squeeze. “I was just restless, needed to know how things were going here.”

They caught him up on the night’s events, Sheppard struggling through his role in Wallace’s death and Nes shaking her head to tell him to skip over it. She’d tell Kevin later. There was no need to make the colonel go over it again.

“So McKay’s sister is going to be okay?” Kevin finally asked.

“Yeah,” said Sheppard. “She woke up about a half hour ago. McKay took her home right away to see her husband and daughter.”

“Good.” Kevin stole a slice of bacon off Nes’ plate. “So how long are you guys around for now?”

Sheppard looked at Ronan then shrugged. “I’m sure McKay will want to stay a while, but we’ll probably head back pretty soon.” He yawned. “I think I’m going to go catch a nap now, though.”

“Me, too.” Ronan stood. “See you guys later.”

The two of them left and Kevin turned to Nes with a smile. “Good morning.”

“Good morning. How’d you sleep?”

“Very well. Hey, I forgot to ask you about what you talked to Agent Barrett about yesterday.”

Nes dropped her voice. “Adaar had to go into hiding when Ba’al killed all those clones with symbiote poison.”

“And you feel guilty.”

She shrugged. “A bit. I mean, Adaar’s in this mess because of me, but...I also...encouraged Ba’al to get rid of the clones.”

“Nothing wrong with that, Nes. In fact, I wish he’d gotten rid of the whole lot of them.”

“Agreed.”

Sheppard and Ronan left that evening and life went back to their old routine, Nes growing more and more agitated with nothing to do, no task to focus on, no contribution to make in getting rid of the reason she was in this position.

Finally, though, General Landry felt that the number of clones had diminished enough that Nes could at least start joining a team for standard missions. Nes’ body began to relax with the activity, but Kevin grew more nervous. He finally made an official request to have her added to his team, which was quickly granted since they’d done well together when hunting clones.

Knowing they had each other’s backs made all the difference for both of them. The gnawing fear of separation subsided and Nes began to see all the more clearly what life was like when you had someone you could fully rely upon. Sekhmet had always made relationships a power struggle, but when two people were equally matched and trust was in place, Nes could see how their energies could be turned outward, working together as a team.

*****

A few weeks later, they came back from a mission to find Colonel Sheppard and Ronan at the SGC again. They’d traveled there for Sheppard’s father’s funeral and instead got entangled in a bit of drama with a few Earth created human replicators.

“And it’s all sorted out now?” Kevin asked.

“Yeah, but obviously we couldn’t just let her go or...continue to exist. Dr. Lee was able to transfer her consciousness to a virtual world, though.”

“Wow. Crazy  _ and _ creepy,” Nes said. “Are you guys hanging around at all then?”

“Ronan wanted to head back. I need to do a few things first...family stuff.”

“Well, let us know if you need anything, okay?”

Sheppard nodded and headed off, Ronan joining Kevin and Nes as he came out of the elevator.

Kevin had a few things to finish up, so Nes and Ronan grabbed some food after a long day.

“Everything going well in Atlantis?” Nes asked as they ate.

“Yeah. Most of the time.”

He was silent for a few moments, opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it again quickly.

“Hm?” she asked him.

Ronan stared at his plate, pushing his food around with his fork. “How did you move on?”

“From what?”

“From what happened to you.”

Nes took a sip of her water and thought for a moment. “I just kept getting up each morning...even if it took me most of the day. And you can ask Kevin, I’m not sure most of the time if I’ve really moved on.”

“Did you have anyone before everything?”

Nes cocked her head to the side. “No. I was young.”

“There was no one before Elliot?”

Nes was trying to figure out what he was getting at. “There was sort of someone when I was first taken as a host, but...the goa’uld...she made me kill him.”

His eyes widened. “And how did you know you were ready after that?”

“Did you lose someone when the Wraith attacked your planet, Ronan?”

He nodded, but didn’t meet her eyes.

“ **A wife?** ”

“ **Close enough.** ”

“And now there’s someone you’re interested in…”

He shrugged.

“I’d say that’s your first indication that you might be ready.”

“How’d you know with Elliot?”

Nes smiled. “I didn’t at first, didn’t for a long time actually. I kept being an idiot and pushing him away, but hopefully you find someone who can be patient with you.”

He nodded again.

“So who is it?” she said with a giddy smile.

“No one.” He stood to end the conversation, but his tone would have done the job just as effectively.

“Right. Well...good luck.”

“Thanks.”

Ronan left and Nes chuckled a bit to herself. She did hope he found someone who could help him heal. He’d lost far too much.

Later that night as she and Kevin lay in bed, he rolled over to look at her in the dim light.

“Did Ronan tell you about Teyla?”

“No, what about her?”

“She’s pregnant.”

Nes sat up. “Wait...is it Ronan’s?”

“No...why?”

“Just a conversation I had with him earlier.” Well, if Ronan hadn’t been talking about Teyla, she had no other guesses.

“No, he said the father is one of Teyla’s people, but they’ve all disappeared.”

“Disappeared?”

“Yeah, they’re still hunting for them.” Kevin sat up and Nes could tell he wanted to say something else, so she waited until he found the words. “Nes...have you ever thought about kids? I know it’s not something we’ve really talked about.”

“No.”

“No?”

“Sorry, I meant that no, we haven’t talked about it.”

“Oh... _ have _ you thought about it, though?”

Nes lay back down. “Of course. As Tessa, I wanted to have kids someday, but...I don’t know how being a She’ket would affect that.”

He lay down as well, facing her. “What do you mean?”

“Well, goa’uld pass on their genetic memory...what if I passed those memories onto a child? That would be horrific.”

“But that’s with a harcesis, right? The child of two goa’uld hosts.”

“Yes, but who knows what would happen with a She’ket and a former host?”

Kevin seemed to be thinking that over. “Maybe it’s time to tell Lantash about you, see if he can offer any insight.”

Nes twisted to look at him. “I would have thought you’d told him after my behavior on the al’kesh.”

“I wasn’t going to share that without your permission, Nes.” He rubbed her arm gently. “So, if that wasn’t an issue...what would you think about kids then?”

Nes rolled onto her back to look at the ceiling. “Would it be fair to that poor child to have to grow up with The Butcher as a mother?”

Kevin chuckled. “Nes...no children of ours would have any semblance of a normal life. They’ll grow up learning to fly a tel’tak and travel with Mom and Dad to other planets and visit Atlantis. They’ll meet the weird uncle with two voices who used to share Dad’s head. They’ll see the world and there’s no way we’ll just stick them in a regular school and try to pretend we’re normal.”

Nes had to smile at that picture, but didn’t respond.

“And I’m not saying now. Life is a bit too unpredictable just yet. Teyla being pregnant just got me thinking.”

“How about we agree to just stay open to the idea, but not make any decisions just yet?”

“Sounds good.” He slid over to her. “No reason why we can’t practice, though.”

“You’re still terrible.”

“I still know.”


	30. Chapter 30

“I am very pleased to see both of you doing so well,” Lantash said as they came through the gate on the new Tok’ra homeworld and began to make their way to the city in a small transport vehicle. “But by your faces, I’m guessing this visit isn’t simply to catch up.”

“No, but perhaps there’s somewhere more private where we can talk.”

“Of course. My personal quarters are in the next building.”

They followed him to his rooms and all sat together to talk. Nes was still hesitant, but Kevin encouraged her to be honest with the Tok’ra and she finally dove right in. Nes reminded him of how things had been with Sekhmet, the things she had shared with him when Kevin had been his host. She went further then and explained her suspicions and how Alpha’s same attempt confirmed to her what she really was.

“So this Adaar, this former host of Ba’al, he is still on Earth in hiding?”

“Yes. He’s like how I was at the beginning, though, struggling to fight everything left by Alpha.” She looked down at the ground. “Not that I do a particularly excellent job of fighting Sekhmet now.”

“Nes, you’ve come a long way.” Kevin put his arm around her.

Lantash leaned back in his chair. “It really is fascinating, though. Had we known...we may have even encouraged the creation of She’kets. You had done such an excellent job of impersonating Sekhmet.”

“I also killed a lot of people and nearly lost myself in the process.”

“Of course.” Lantash dipped his head in an apology. “And Ba’al knows now that you are not Sekhmet.”

“Yes...I was an idiot.”

“And he wants revenge…” Lantash looked up at the ceiling as he pondered. “Perhaps  _ we _ can set a trap for  _ him _ this time.”

“Using Nes as bait...no.” Kevin gave Lantash a stern look. “We’re not going to risk her getting captured or killed.”

“Kevin,” Nes put a hand on his leg, “I’m at more risk if we don’t catch him.”

He held her gaze for several moments. “I don’t like this.”

“You don’t have to. You just have to see that it’s our best option.”

*****

When they left, it was with plans to have Lantash come to the SGC the next week where hopefully they’d be able to have a meeting with all involved parties and figure out the best way to trap Ba’al.

General Landry was open to discussing all options and so the NID was contacted and everything arranged for all to beam up to the orbiting Apollo.

“I still don’t like this, Nes,” Kevin said as they walked to the conference room aboard the ship. “Ba’al is going to know it’s a trap.”

“He’ll either think it’s a trap or think we’re being supremely overconfident. Either way, he’s not going to pass up a chance like this.”

Kevin grabbed her arm and turned her toward him. “Nes...if he gets a hold of you again…”

“But we can’t live like this. We need to try.”

He nodded sadly. “I know.”

The meeting was surprisingly short, everyone in agreement both that something needed to be done and that the rough plan they’d come up with had a good chance of success. It was awkward seeing Adaar, especially with Kevin finding it impossible not to glare, but he looked good. He seemed more relaxed than he had in the past and she hoped he’d had more success lately in finding himself, unburying Adaar from Ba’al and Alpha.

The next week Nes beamed herself down to her old house on the Potomac with Kevin carefully monitoring her from the al’kesh.

It was eerie being in the dimly lit rooms, the memories all flooding back of a time that felt so long ago. She went down to the hidden basement and got everything up and running, avoiding the room where she’d tortured Alpha, not because it was a bad memory, but because it was still such a good one.

She didn’t expect Ba’al or maybe Kappa to show up immediately. She found it odd that Ba’al hadn’t come after her on Earth yet at all, to be honest. And the fact that he hadn’t tried to trap her again increased her concern over whatever other plans he was working on.

_ If only we could start over again… _

Ba’al wanted everything back to how it was before Anubis reclaimed his warriors. He’d had power, he’d nearly had Sekhmet as his queen, and then he’d had to watch it crumble, until it all slipped through his fingers. There would be no caution in his need for revenge on her.

Her car had been delivered just as she’d asked and so, in keeping with their plans, she drove over to Ba’al’s house, Adaar meeting her at the door with a kiss on the cheek. They had to assume they were being watched.

“Glad to be back, my dear?” he said with Ba’al’s tone and expression as he guided her through the house.

“Of course. Have you set things up with Farrow-Marshall then?”

“Yes, there will be a press conference tomorrow to announce my return.”

“Excellent.” She patted his cheek. “I’m glad I kept you, Alpha.”

He gave her his usual smirk. “As am I.” His jaw tightened, though, and he walked away. “I’ve made reservations for this evening. No doubt my appearance will start up some chatter before the announcement tomorrow. Shall we go?”

She followed him to the garage without thinking, but her legs stopped moving as she saw the spot where she’d died, where the hands there with her had taken her life.

Adaar didn’t notice she wasn’t still behind him until he got to the car, but then his eyes showed that he too remembered that first day they’d met. He came over to her slowly and held out a hand. “Come along or we’ll be late.”

His voice was Alpha’s, but his eyes were Adaar’s. He gave her one of his smiles as she took his hand and she let him lead her to the passenger seat.

The car was new and they’d made sure there was no chance of conversations being overheard inside the vehicle, giving them at least one safe place to be themselves with one another.

“I should have pulled around to the front and picked you up, Nes. I’m sorry.” His voice was filled with shame.

“I didn’t think of it either,” she said, shaking her head. “It seems so long ago.”

They were both silent for a few moments, before Adaar turned to her with a strained smile.

“You seem well, Nes.”

She returned his smile. “I am and I was going to say the same about you.”

“You were right about it getting easier, pushing Alpha down...especially when surrounded by the right people.”

“And you’ve found the right people?”

“One.”

Nes shoved down the jealousy that rose up. “I’m glad, Adaar. And I’m sorry we’re forcing you to be Alpha again.”

“I think it will be easier this time, but…” His voice trailed off.

She knew. She understood. “But even that short drama in the house was difficult.”

He nodded. “Ba’al and Alpha will always want you...and want to hurt you.”

“I know, but it’s good that we realized we’d be poison to one another.”

He dropped his voice to a whisper, a plea. “It could have been so good, Nes. We could have had everything.”

“Only in theory, Adaar. It was nothing more than a dream with no basis in any kind of reality.” She knew her voice was cold, but she couldn’t allow herself to feel anything in this moment.

He swallowed hard and they both went quiet again, but Nes could see that once she was no longer around him, he’d be glad to be Adaar again.

They had dinner, they said goodnight, she stood by his side at the press conference, they joined once again the social circles of DC, and they paraded around everything they were taking from Ba’al.

Nes beamed up to the al’kesh at night to be with Kevin for at least a little while, but her playacting with Adaar was taking its toll on him, his jealousy justified as he watched his wife on another man’s arm. But Nes was never  _ in _ Adaar’s arms, the pair appropriately affectionate in public but never beyond.

“Nes, you know it’s not that I don’t trust you, but…”

“But you don’t trust Sekhmet.”

Kevin crossed his arms. “Or Alpha. You said Adaar still struggles to hold him back.”

“I do my best not to provoke him, though.”

“And you’ve done so well fighting Sekhmet. I don’t want her to get stronger again.”

She gave him a smile. “Well, that’s why I come up here every night.”

“For a reminder?”

She gave him a wink. “Is that what we’re calling it?”

Kevin chuckled, but wrapped his arms around her. “I just don’t like sharing you.”

“You’re not. I’m going to work every day and coming home to you every night.”

“While he wines and dines you.”

“Yes, because clearly that was exactly what I was looking for. Kevin, I have more money than I know what to do with. I didn’t want someone who could just provide me with more money. I didn’t need that.”

“You wanted Adaar for a while, though.”

Nes sighed. “I did awful things to him. I felt obligated to him, yes, but if choosing between you and Ba’al was choosing between myself and Sekhmet, then choosing between you and Adaar was choosing between continuing to grow or staying as I was. I didn’t want to stay as I was anymore.” She kissed him firmly. “I like who I am with you.”

“What a coincidence,” he laughed. “I like who you are with me, too.” He grew serious again. “I’ll just be glad when all of this is over.”

“Well, if nothing happens in the next week or two, we’ll call it quits and try something else.”

“Just promise me you’ll be careful, Nes. This isn’t about revenge.”

She nodded, but of course, it  _ was _ about revenge. How could it not be? It would certainly be about revenge for Ba’al. Why should it be any different for her?

“Ya know, I was right before,” she said. “You have made me weak, but the benefits have been well worth it.”

“You’re not weak, Nes. You just have things that you care about now. Reasons to want to come home safely.”

He was right. She hadn’t much cared before. She’d been alone and only needed to worry about her own survival most of the time. She hadn’t had a home to come back to.

She hadn’t had Kevin to come back to.

******

Two days later, Nes got ready to attend a social function alone, Emyr Kagan running a bit late with a last minute meeting delaying him. She mentally prepared herself for the vapid chit-chat that would consume her evening and wished she had decided to wait for Adaar instead of agreeing to go on her own. Hopefully he would be able to join her soon.

She had chosen a soft white draped gown with hints of gold that she knew would make her stand out in any photographs. She wanted to make sure Ba’al didn’t miss her appearances. The fundraising gala was certainly for a good cause, but she was already bored with the people she encountered at these events. The majority of their appeal was in their money and fame and she had more of both.

She had to laugh slightly as she arrived, thinking about how as Tessa, she had refused to go to any event on her own, so terrified of appearing like she was unable to get a date. Now she had no such fear. She knew that no one would ever, for even a moment, think that she did anything except actively  _ choose _ to come alone. She was still sought after as a conversation partner or a hopeful-other-type of partner (whether  _ they _ had come alone or not) from the moment she stepped into the cavernous room.

Nes eventually escaped some of the more persistent guests and stood off to the side at a small pub table with a drink, scanning the crowd for Adaar.

Instead, when she turned back to her drink, she found a pair of familiar dark eyes and her breath caught in her throat.

“Hello... _ Mae _ . It’s been quite a long time.”

Nes rearranged her face to confusion. “I think you have me mistaken for someone else.”

Special Agent Molina leaned across the table with a look of disgust. “Don’t you dare. I saw your face just now. Don’t give me any of that bullshit.”

Nes took a few slow breaths before shifting to a smirk. “Hello, Aaron.”

“Son of a bitch.”

“What do you want?” She kept her body completely relaxed, remembering how Sekhmet had remained calm in the face of the same man.

“I knew you weren’t dead, but I had hoped you’d at least be in jail.”

Nes looked around the room before turning back to him. “You saw more than most, Aaron. You know things weren’t quite as simple as the media made them out to be.”

“Someone showed me a picture of a Nesert Saeda at some opera party a few years back and I knew right away it was you.” He smiled. “I started looking into you more.”

“Oh?” She kept her voice and body projecting disinterest. “And what did you find?”

“You did a much more thorough job than you did with Mae.”

“Well, I needed it to last longer.”

“You really were at Princeton, though you looked a bit different then.”

“Yes.”

He slapped a photo down on the table.

A photo of Tommy astride his motorcycle.

“Recognize him?”

Nes kept her breathing steady before meeting his gaze. “Should I?”

“You’re wearing his ring.”

Nes held out her left hand to look at the sapphire and diamond ring she’d had made to replicate the one Ba’al had given her. “I highly doubt this is his ring, Agent Molina.”

He grabbed her right hand. “The lion.”

He pushed another photo towards her with Tommy holding his hands out to showcase his tattoos and rings and there, clear as day, was the silver lion with the ruby eye.

“You’re rarely seen without it.”

Nes looked at her hand and the picture carefully. “I would guess there are quite a lot of people who have a similar ring. It’s not particularly unique, though I do love it.”

“Him along with three others disappeared in Philadelphia while you were at Princeton. All last seen with a tall woman.”

Nes raised her eyebrows as she took a drink. “And so you think it was me.”

“A little digging turned up another young man who disappeared down in Key West...while you were on your winter break. Tall woman. Lion ring.”

“Well, aren’t you the little overachiever? Did you find any bodies then? Or just missing persons?”

He glared at her. “What did you do with them?”

She set her glass down and narrowed her eyes at him. “Why are you here, Aaron? Surely it’s not for some closure on a few missing persons?”

“You need to be stopped.”

“Stopped?” Her voice was filled with innocence, but her face had contorted into Sekhmet’s smirk. “It looks to me like you don’t have any proof that I’ve done anything that  _ needs _ to be stopped.”

“How about we go have that  _ intimate chat  _ you promised me?” He opened his jacket to reveal his sidearm.

“Now’s not really a good time for me.” She smiled casually and looked around at the ballroom again. Where was Adaar?

Aaron grabbed the photos off the table and then took her by the arm. “Don’t make a scene please,” he whispered as he ushered her toward the exit.

She pushed Sekhmet down again. “Aaron, you’re making a big mistake.”

“So you didn’t kill those men?”

Nes didn’t respond.

“That’s what I thought.”

“Please, Aaron,” she pleaded. “I’m trying to catch someone much worse than me.”

“Forgive me if I just don’t believe you.” He waved away the valet that approached and they moved into the parking lot, the barrel of a gun pushing into her side as they got into the shadows and then stopped at a black sedan. “Get in.”

Nes hesitated, but Molina jabbed the gun into her to get her moving and she leaned down to climb into the passenger seat. He kept the gun trained on her as he went around the car and got in, starting the vehicle.

“Aaron, please.”

“Shut up.”

“Aaron, I--”

“I told you to shut up.”

She could try to beam away, but it was too likely he’d get a shot off before she was safe and, without a sarcophagus, she simply wasn’t willing to take those kinds of risks anymore. Molina stopped the car outside a large warehouse and ordered her to get out.

“Are you going to murder me, Aaron?” she asked as they went inside the dark building.

“Well, the legal system certainly doesn’t seem to be delivering justice for you.”

“You don’t seem like the vigilante type, though.”

“I don’t think I used to be, but you...I spent over two years seeing the things you did to people and then you get to just move on with your life, going to parties, wearing fancy dresses...it’s disgusting.”

There was a shaft of light streaming in through the windows, the street lights illuminating a small section of concrete floor, but still in the dark, Nes tapped her bracelet.

Nothing happened.

She tapped it again.

She was still in the warehouse.

There was no way Aaron could be preventing her from beaming away...which meant they likely weren’t alone.

And she was trapped with an FBI agent who had every reason to want to kill her.


	31. Chapter 31

Nes stopped walking as she realized the danger she was in. Ba’al must be close by, blocking her ability to beam up to her ship. She had to get away. She had to get both of them away.

“Aaron, we need to leave.”

He shoved her into the light with a laugh. “I don’t think so.”

“Please, you have no idea how different the world is from what you know.”

“I know there was some batshit crazy stuff that happened when I caught you.”

“Yes! Aaron...The Butcher...she’s dead. I’m Tessa, but I’ve needed to pretend to still be her.”

Aaron scoffed at her statement. “How many people have you killed since Boston,  _ Tessa? _ ”

Nes kept silent.

“How many?!”

“In your jurisdiction?”

“Anywhere.”

“I haven’t counted.”

“Take a guess then.”

“Aaron, you have to understand--”

“HOW MANY?!” She could see him in the dim light take a deep breath to calm himself. “Twenty? Thirty? Fifty? A hundred? How many?”

Nes’ breathing started to grow ragged, fear and cold making her shake slightly. “Probably closer to a hundred.”

His jaw dropped open. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Quite a lot, but I’m doing my best to right those wrongs.”

“I should put a bullet in your head. You deserve to die.”

Nes tried to swallow but her mouth was too dry. “Well, if it makes you feel better, I’ve died a number of times since we last met. Tortured as well.”

“You look perfectly healthy to me.”

“And yet, she’s not lying.”

Nes closed her eyes for a moment as the deep voice joined their conversation, footsteps approaching. When she looked out into the darkness, she could just see a Ba’al coming towards them.

Was it Adaar? Was it Ba’al? Maybe even a different clone altogether?

“Hello, darling,” he said with a smile. “What kind of trouble has your curiosity gotten you into this time?”

Adaar. Her body began to relax.

“Oh, the usual.”

“Clearly.”

Molina shifted his gun toward Adaar, but was ignored by the intruder, who gestured to their surroundings.

“But why are you still hanging around here, my dear?”

Nes gave Adaar a pointed look. “I'm afraid Special Agent Molina here is not the only one who seems to be holding me captive.”

The FBI agent turned his gun and attention back to Nes. “What are you talking about?”

A second version of the first intruder’s voice joined their little group. “I believe she's referring to me.”

All three turned toward the voice, but Adaar was suddenly sent flying across the room. Nes cried out and took a few steps toward the direction of his body, sprawled somewhere in the darkness.

“Don’t move!” two voices yelled, halting Nes while she was still in the shaft of light.

Another Ba’al appeared in the dim light, his hand held up, a gold kara kesh shining, the red gem on his palm dimming again.

“Are you enjoying my improvements on the Tau’ri jamming frequencies?” he asked with a smirk of his own.

“Not particularly,” replied Nes in defiance.

Aaron recognized him as yet another Emyr Kagan. “Who are you? What’s going on?”

The newest Ba’al sighed. “My dear, I really don’t have the patience for this.”

“Stop or I’ll kill her,” Molina said, his gun still trained on Nes.

“Oh, be my guest. I would never wish to deprive you of the pleasure of killing her. It’s  _ intensely _ enjoyable.”

“She’s your fiancée,” Aaron said in confusion.

“She is, isn’t she? Or she was at least, but with her betrayal, I don’t think I’ll marry her anymore.” He smirked towards Nes. “Though I do still plan to make use of her in my bed.”

Nes returned his smirk, shifting into Sekhmet with his presence. “You keep threatening that, darling, but instead you keep ending up dead.”

“Did you whore yourself out to Alpha to get him to serve you?”

“There was no need.”

“Oh? And does he know you’re just a lowly host,  _ Tessa _ ?”

It was Ba’al, the original. Except he had her trapped instead of the other way around.

“There’s hardly anything lowly about me,  _ Ba’al _ , but yes, he knows I’m not Sekhmet.”

“And yet he agreed to align himself with you, foolishly flaunting your takeover of my empire here?”

“Well, it was quite simple. You see...Alpha has been dead for several years now.”

Ba’al cocked his head to the side before understanding twisted his face into fury. “You made him into a She’ket.”

“He had no idea he was killing himself.”

His hands twitched as he looked at her, wanting to make her pay for her sins against him.

“What is going on?” Aaron finally said. “What are you talking about? Why are there two of you?”

“It’s none of your concern,” Ba’al said in his goa’uld voice, Aaron’s head snapping to look at the man next to him and shifting his gun to point at the new threat.

“You’re like her! What  _ are _ you?”

“I am your god and I am rapidly losing my patience for your presence here. If you wish to kill her, do it now. I can always revive her. “ His face turned malicious. “And then I will spend my days and nights using her as I see fit.”

Aaron hesitated, shifting his gaze and gun between the two of them.

“Aaron, please…” she pleaded in Tessa’s voice.

“Do not be pathetic, my dear,” Ba’al spat out, “or I will kill him before we leave. You seem so fond of saving even those who want to destroy you.”

Nes again rolled her shoulders back, flashing her eyes at her two assailants.

“That’s much better.” Ba’al turned back to Molina. “Kill her. Or I will kill you. I do not have time for your hesitation.”

Aaron looked to her with confusion, his face clearly displaying his moral struggle, but she gave him a smile.

“I suppose I haven’t died from a gunshot wound yet.”

Ba’al chuckled. “Yes, I’ve always used knives. And acid.”

“Alpha used a pitchfork once as well.”

Ba’al looked distinctly unsurprised by this information. “Yes...I heard about that.”

“Did you?” She gave him a sly smile. “Or perhaps you were there?”

Maybe this wasn’t Ba’al after all.

He opened his mouth to speak, but just then a blue energy struck his body and he collapsed to the ground.

Nes began to relax, but far too soon.

She didn’t even register the sound of the gunshot until her body began to crumple beneath her, her white gown morphing to deep red as she looked down. She watched her actions mirrored by Aaron as he fell stunned, the gun hitting the ground ahead of him.

The floor beneath her grew warm and sticky as pain radiated out from her abdomen.

She’d begged Aaron to kill her in Boston. Over and over again she’d pleaded with him and now, how many years later, he was finally granting her wish.

Except now she didn’t want to die.

Now all she could think about as her body struggled against the cold concrete and warm blood surrounding her was Kevin and how much she needed him.

“Nes? Nes, can you hear me?”

He was always saying that, always pulling her out of her nightmares, but she couldn’t respond this time.

“Nes, keep fighting! You are not allowed to die! Keep fighting!”

She was tired. It would be easy to just be done, to finally not have to fight Sekhmet anymore.

“Nes, look at me! Stay with me.  _ Please _ , Nes.”

Damn him. All she wanted was rest, but he was always there pushing her. Damn him and his optimism about her.

“Come on, Nes. You promised we wouldn’t be separated again.”

She didn’t want to be away from him. She’d forgotten that. Damnit, she’d have to keep fighting.

Nes squeezed the hand in hers and worked to calm her body as too many hands tugged and hurt and helped.

“Just hang in there, Nes. You’re going to be okay.”

Voices surrounded her then, but the panic was starting to subside in their tones and Nes took that as her cue to fade out, let everyone just do their jobs while she slept.

*****

Nes woke up however long later and assumed it must be night with the dim lights and hushed voices. She was in much less pain than she would have expected, but couldn’t tell yet if that was because of medication or because she’d already healed that much.

How long had she been asleep?

“Hey, sleepyhead,” Kevin said quietly with a tired smile full of relief. “You gave me a hell of a scare.”

Nes squeezed his hand. “I just wanted you to remember how much you love me.”

Kevin chuckled. “I don’t need reminders, Nes.”

“You say that now.”

“I’ll say that always.” He looked away for a few moments and wiped his eyes quickly. “How are you feeling?”

“Not as bad as I thought I would. Gunshots aren’t that bad, I guess.”

“Don’t get too full of yourself. You had help from the goa’uld healing device.”

“Ah, that explains it.”

“I did as much as I could once you were out of surgery and then Lantash and Thiras came and helped as well.”

She looked more closely at his face and saw now the dark circles under his bloodshot eyes. “How long have I been out?”

“Just a couple days.”

“Ba’al?” She had to know if he’d been captured.

“In a holding cell. The Tok’ra are going to do an official trial and extraction ceremony, especially since he seems to be the original.”

Nes nodded, but she still had doubts about whether or not he was indeed Ba’al. “Adaar?” Her voice cracked as she said his name, fear suddenly overwhelming her.

“He’ll be fine. Clearly Ba’al didn’t want to kill him that quickly.”

Of course. “And Aaron? Special Agent Molina?”

Kevin nodded, but his jaw stiffened. “Under guard in one of the isolation quarters.”

“It’s not his fault.”

“He  _ shot  _ you, Nes.”

She sighed and looked up at the ceiling. “He knows about the men I killed while at Princeton. He wanted to stop me.”

“So he thought he’d just murder you in an abandoned warehouse? What the hell?”

“He spent a lot of time chasing Sekhmet and me, Kevin. He knows better than anyone the things we did.” Nausea swept over her as flashes of memories she’d avoided surfaced. “There was no way for me to convince him I wasn’t killing anymore.”

“Well, it’ll be up to all sorts of other people what happens to him.”

“Can I talk to him?”

“Are you gonna kiss him?”

Nes tilted her head in surprise, before remembering Kevin had every reason to ask that. “No. I just want to explain to him. And thank him. I chose him hoping he could stop me and he did.”

“You  _ chose _ him?”

“I told Sekhmet we could taunt him like we did with Sean.”

Kevin sucked in a breath. “You could have killed him.”

“I know...but I had to try something.”

He nodded slowly with a sigh. “Yeah. Just glad it worked.”

“Me, too.”

“You should get some more rest.”

“As long as you’ll do the same.”

“Not ready to leave you just yet, okay?” He gave her a quick kiss and stroked her hair. “I’ll be right here when you wake up.”

She nodded and let herself drift off again.

*****

Nes woke up to the normal sounds of the infirmary and fought back all the memories of finding herself here too many times. It was a nice change to wake with a hand holding hers, though.

Kevin was pleased to see her looking so much better and offered to grab her some breakfast when she told him she was hungry. Nes watched him leave and saw him stop for a few moments to speak to someone coming down the hall. The auburn curls identified her immediately as Kerry Johnson of the CIA. She had been working on tracking down the goa’uld within The Trust  _ and _ also helping Adaar. She must be there to check in on him.

She gave Nes a smile when she caught her eyes as she entered the room. Her gaze quickly darted to the other side of the room, though, where Nes had seen Adaar sleeping in one of the far beds.

“You must be Nesert,” the CIA agent said as she approached Nes’ bed. “I’ve heard and read so much about you. It’s nice to finally meet you.” She held out a hand which Nes shook, trying to read what she could in the other woman’s face. There was the respect and awe she pushed to the front, but underneath was a tinge of suspicion and, if Nes was correct, jealousy.

Why would this woman be jealous of her?

“I’ve followed your work over the years, Miss Johnson.”

“Have you?” She narrowed her eyes at Nes. “In what way?”

Nes smirked. “In my own special ways. Thank you for all of your help over the years with The Trust.”

She nodded slowly. “Of course.” She watched Nes for a few more breaths before turning around to look at Adaar again, who was starting to stir. “If you’ll excuse me.”

Nes watched her hurry over to Adaar’s side and cautiously slide her hand into his. So this was who Adaar had meant when he’d said he’d found someone to help him push down Alpha. She felt her own jealousy rise up for a few moments, but it was soon overpowered by a gratefulness that he wouldn’t be alone, that he wouldn’t have to hide who he was with her.

Adaar had been right: they could have had it all, but that would have included all the good and all the bad, and the bad the two of them would have produced together far outshadowed any good, any happiness.

Nes came back to the present and caught Adaar’s gaze. She raised her eyebrows as her eyes darted to the woman next to him. He gave her a brief nod and Nes released a slow breath before giving him a genuine smile, hoping he had found the same peace and contentment she’d found with Kevin.

General Landry came through the door then and the look on his face erased any hint of a smile Nes had. What had Aaron told him?

Kevin returned a few moments later and then Nes spent the next while confessing sins she had hoped to keep buried. The anger and suspicion and disappointment was almost more than she could bear and they had some very serious questions about her more recent behavior. In the end, she felt fairly confident that she was believed when she assured them that her days of killing out of need were really over. Still, she would have to be careful not to aggravate the situation.

Adaar was released that afternoon and she gave him a brief wave as Miss Johnson supported him slightly as they left. Nes wondered with a bit of sadness when she would next see him, but she also found that she could finally release some of the guilt she felt over choosing Kevin over him. Adaar never had a chance at happiness with her. He would with Kerry Johnson.

*****

Kevin stayed with Nes when Agent Molina was escorted to the infirmary, the general agreeing to let the two of them speak. He came in with a scowl and Nes put a hand on Kevin’s arm as he tensed next to her.

“They seemed pretty surprised to find out about the people you murdered during your days at Princeton.”

Nes ignored the statement. “What have they told you?”

“You mean after I signed my life away in non-disclosure agreements?” He crossed his arms and looked her over. “You had an alien snake living in your head.”

“That sums it up pretty well.”

“And you’ve really stopped killing?”

Nes looked at Kevin and took a deep breath. “I think I’m generally on the right side of things now.”

“And who are you?” Aaron looked over Kevin with disgust.

“Her husband,” Kevin said through clenched teeth. “You’re lucky I don’t have the same ethical standards you seem to have, kidnapping someone to murder in a warehouse.”

Aaron raised his eyebrows. “You wanna talk about ethical standards when you’re married to  _ her _ ?”

“You have no idea what she’s been through.”

“I don’t give a shit what she’s been through. She should be punished for the lives she took.”

“She has been.”

“I bet.”

“Are you two done?” Nes said with a sigh. “Aaron, if it makes you feel better, I’ve been tortured, brainwashed, and killed quite a few times since we last met. It doesn’t make up for anything, I know that, but I’m doing my best to use my experiences to help now.”

“Are there any bodies? Of those men? Their families deserve to at least know they’re dead.”

“No. No bodies.”

He ran his hand through his hair. “And you’re not going to take responsibility.”

“I’m dead, too, so...no.”

“So those families get nothing?”

Nes shrugged. She had to push aside the guilt. She wouldn’t survive it right now.

“You’re a piece of work.”

“I am indeed, though that reminds me. I never thanked you.”

Aaron narrowed his eyes in suspicion. “Thanked me for what?”

“For capturing us.”

“You’re  _ glad  _ I captured you?”

“I  _ chose  _ you. I’d been waiting for the right opportunity to get us caught. Well, I was hoping we’d be killed, but no one would oblige me back then. Everyone’s been more than happy to do it since, though.”

“You set her up.” He looked at her with a new respect and perhaps a bit more sympathy.

Nes smirked. “She had no idea I’d betray her.” There was guilt with that. Sekhmet’s hurt remembered from her perspective. “So what are they going to do with you?”

He shook his head. “Not sure yet.”

“Well, you’ve certainly demonstrated a tolerance for the crazy.”

Aaron gave a dark laugh. “Yeah, you guys deal with some insane stuff around here.”

“You have no idea, man,” Kevin said with a smirk of his own.


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stargate: Continuum

“Nes, you’re sure you want to come along?” Sam asked her as they walked down the corridors of the SGC with SG-1.

“Of course, I’m sure. I want to see him die for the last time.” She gave the other woman a smile. “I’m glad you were able to come back for this, Sam.”

“Me, too,” she said with a smile, but dropped her voice. “And Adaar? He didn’t want to come?”

Nes shook her head. “No. This is a perfect situation to turn him into Alpha pretty quickly...or send him into a rage to kill the one who stole his life. I’ve seen him like that before and it was...difficult for him.”

As they got into the Gate Room, General Landry was already there. “ **Dial it up, Chief! They're right on schedule,** ” he said as he handed a clipboard to Sgt Siler, who then brought it over to Cam to sign.

“ **What am I signing this time?** ” Mitchell asked as the gate began to dial.

“ **Nothing, sir,** ” Siler said, “ **just wanted your autograph.** ”

Sam and Daniel watched the sergeant leave with amused looks.

“ **Sure you don't want to come along, sir?** ” Cam addressed the general. “ **Might never be another one of these.** ”

“ **Tempting as it is, I'll be doing paperwork the whole time you're gone. Besides, one general looking over your shoulders is plenty** .”

“ **Yes, speaking of Jack…** ” Daniel began.

“ **He went ahead with SG-3 to officially hand over the prisoner,** ” Landry replied.

Sam nodded. “ **Well, I guess he knows who we're dealing with.** ”

Nes turned to her. “Kevin went along with his team as well.”

“ **Such precautions are unnecessary,** ” Teal’c said with a confident smile. “ **Half of the free Jaffa fleet stands guard over the Tok'ra homeworld to ensure that the execution of Ba'al takes place as planned.** ”

Right on cue, Vala came striding in with a gun big enough that it required both hands to carry it. “ **You know better than anyone, Muscles, this is an** **_extraction_ ** **, not an** **_execution_ ** **.** ” Everyone stared at her until she finally looked at the weapon in her hands. “ **Oh, well, this is just in case.** ”

Nes chuckled, but couldn’t blame her, having hidden an ample supply of knives in the uniform she wore.

Cam was not nearly as amused, though.“ **No. No, no. Airman!** ” He took the gun from Vala’s hands to give to an approaching airman. “ **You're not walking into my first extraction ceremony carrying that thing.** ”

“ **Whoa, wait a minute,** ” Daniel said. “ **This is your** **_first_ ** **?** ”

“ **Yeah, it should be interesting.** ”

“ **It'll blow your mind,** ” General Landry said.

Sam nodded in agreement. “ **It is pretty incredible.** ”

“ **Huh, well, witnessing a Goa'uld being extracted from a host is one thing. Actually** **_experiencing_ ** **it is something else.** ” She looked to the rest of them, Nes in particular. “ **To feel the sensation of the symbiote that has controlled your every action for so many years, while you watched helplessly from the darkest recess of your mind, as it is finally excised from your body and left to writhe in the light of day.** ” Vala’s eyes were a bit damp as her voice thickened. She took in a deep breath. “ **Well, that...is incredible.** ”

Nes imagined it was, but it wasn’t quite what she had experienced and she looked to the ground thinking of when Sekhmet had melded with her instead.

The last chevron locked, the wormhole formed with all its power, and General Landry sent them on their way.

“ **Go to it, SG-1.** ”

“ **Okay,** ” Cam said, “ **this I gotta see.** ”

“ **I'll leave the light on,** ” the general said with a smile as they walked up the ramp.

On the other side they were greeted by a group of Tok’ra as well as Jack and Kevin, who both looked more relaxed now that their prisoner was in stasis and under guard.

Nes was agitated, though, just wanting it to be over and done with and Kevin squeezed her hand, noting her distress.

“I should have had a few drinks before I came,” she whispered to him as they made their way to the pyramid where the ceremony would be held.

“You’ll be fine.”

Too long into the ceremony and its agonizing chanting, though, Kevin was likely wishing he’d joined her in a few drinks.

General O’Neill looked like he was longing for the same thing. “ **Never in the history of boredom has anyone been more bored than I am right now.** ”

“ **Come on, sir, it's only been…** ” Sam looked at her watch. “ **Whoa.** ”

Daniel looked down the line at Jack. “ **It's almost over.** ” He saw their questioning looks. “ **The crimes they're listing are starting to sound familiar.** ”

“ **Crimes?** ” Jack said incredulously. “ **That's what they've been crooning about for the last three hours?** ”

“ **Quite the ditty, ain't it?** ” Cam didn’t seem quite as excited about the ceremony now.

“ **It's not at all fair to the host, anyway,** ” said Vala, and Nes had to agree, though it was certainly better than being permanently stuck with the firsthand memories of those crimes, regardless of whether or not your hands were used to commit them.

“ **Vala, you don't really think there's any hope for the…** ” Vala gave him a sharp look. “ **I mean, you were host to Qetesh for a relatively short period of time. Ba'al's been inhabiting this guy for over two thousand years!** ”

Nes raised her eyebrows at him and he tilted his head to the side.

“Well, yes, but Adaar is a bit of a different situation.”

Nes opened her mouth to respond, but before she could speak, a Tok’ra elder lowered his hood and ordered the prisoner to be revived.

The stasis field around Ba’al faded away and the goa’uld took a deep breath and opened his eyes.

Vala turned to Daniel. “ **Watch him try and make a run for it.** ”

“ **Well, with all this security,** ” Daniel replied as he looked around at the crowd, “ **I really don't think he's going to get very far.** ” He looked back and she was gone. “ **Vala?** ” He looked to Nes, who shrugged, her attention having been on the Ba’al awakening.

“ **The prisoner will step forward,** ” the Tok’ra Elder said.

Ba’al...hopefully Ba’al...stepped out of the stasis chamber and the guards all pointed their zat’nik’tels at him.

“ **Ba'al, last of the Goa'uld System Lords, murderer of untold millions, these will be your last words. Speak.** ”

Ba’al looked positively bored with the proceedings. “ **I have nothing to say to the Tok'ra,** ” he said in his goa’uld voice. He walked down the steps and was surprised to see their group there. He switched to his human voice for his new audience. “ **SG-1 and General Jack O'Neill.** ” He crossed his arms across his chest as he spoke. “And my dear Nesert and her Tok’ra host. **Well, well.** ”

“ **How's tricks, B?** ” Jack said flippantly.

“ **I've been better, I'm afraid. And you?** ”

Jack took a deep breath. “ **Not so bad, actually. Quite good.** ”

“ **How nice for you.** ” Ba’al was clearly unamused by his current situation.

“ **How about those last words?** ” Jack prompted.

“ **As you wish. Teal'c…I will always regret that you never became my First Prime.** ”

Teal’c gave him a cold look.

“Tessa... _ Sekhmet _ ... _ Nesert _ , you already know my many regrets concerning you, though I will say, you were quite an enjoyable companion at times.” He gave a smirk to Kevin who tightened his jaw.

Nes gave him a smirk of her own. “Yes, I certainly enjoyed torturing and killing you so many times. I will take  _ immense _ pleasure in watching you die one...last...time.”

They smiled at one another for a few moments before he turned to look around the room.

“ **And uh...where is my dear Qetesh?** ”

“ **Well,** **_Vala_ ** **was here,** ” said Daniel in annoyance.

Ba’al gave a menacing smile. “ **Huh. Interesting.** ”

“ **Oh, she's probably gone to the bathroom, for heaven's sake.** ” Jack looked to the rest of them. “ **I'm next in line, by the way.** ” He turned to the Tok’ra Elder in annoyance. “ **Can we get on with this?** ”

“ **There is one more thing.** ” Ba’al told the elder before turning back to them. “ **You've all made a terrible mistake.** ”

No.

Nes’ heart sped up.

Daniel gave him a look of annoyance. “ **Yes, that is what they all say.** ”

“ **There can be no doubt of your crimes,** ” Teal’c said.

“ **What I mean to say is, I'm not the last of the Goa'uld System Lords, though I do admit I may be last of the clones. There were so many of us, it** **_is_ ** **difficult to be certain.** ” He shifted into a small smirk and directed his gaze towards Nes with a wink.

No.

Jack looked down the row of them. “ **Mitchell?** ”

“ **We tracked them all, sir. This one is the last one.** ”

“ **You sure?** ” Jack asked. “ **That is, after all, why we've come, why we had to endure all that singing. Get rid of the last bad guy, and then there's cake.** ”

Sam gave the general a smile of amusement.

“ **Carter?** ” Mitchell said.

“ **Well, as you know, in order to track his clones, Ba'al gave each of them a tracking device detectable from anywhere in the galaxy. Now, he also placed one in himself, so we wouldn't be able to tell the difference between a clone and the original.** ”

“ **And because he was the original, he was the only one of us who possessed a tracking device that could be...removed.** ”

No.

He wasn’t Ba’al.

“ **So you see, the last of the Goa'uld System Lords, the last of** **_my dear brothers,_ ** **is still out there, and since, as of this moment he knows he's the last, he has very special plans for you.** ” He looked to Nes. “Especially you,  _ my dear _ . I expect Ba’al will catch up to you...at some point in time.”

No.

"’ **Plans,’ you say.** ” Jack was clearly skeptical.

“ **A recently completed failsafe device should an unfortunate circumstance, such as my imminent death, arise. It was you who gave us the idea, actually. I suspect it has already been put into action.** ”

The plans Ba’al had been working on, the ones he’d kept secret from her.

Teal’c came forward to look closely at the clone’s face. “ **He lies.** ”

Jack came over next to the jaffa. “ **He does that, you know.** ”

“ **We shall see,** ” the clone said to the two of them. He again looked to Nes. “Thank you, my dear.”

Nes pressed her fingernails into her palm to get her lines out. “For being by your side today?”

He smiled and breathed in her fear. “Of course.”

Kappa.

“ **It is time.** ” At the elder’s words, the guards grabbed the prisoner and pushed him towards a device, strapping him in.

“ **This is gonna be cool,** ” said Mitchell, but Nes could barely hear him, her heart pumping too hard, too loudly, but she did see Vala return, trying to keep it together as they watched.

“ **Begin the extraction process.** ”

A large needle attached to a small chamber on a track began to move toward the clone, a laser streaming out of it before it finally plunged into his forehead. A distorted scream poured out of his mouth, but slowly morphed into a human’s scream. Both Nes and Vala cringed with their own memories.

The symbiote was now inside the small chamber and after the needle moved back out of his head, the host slumped forward. The Tok’ra elder took hold of the chamber and held it up for the room.

“ **Behold! The last of the System Lords!”** With that, he threw it to the ground and broke it, the symbiote slithering on the ground and screeching before it finally died.

Nes had hoped to feel a sense of completion, but with his last words, she now felt intense dread. The others seemed unperturbed, though, concluding that he had merely been trying to distress them. Maybe they were right.

But what if they were wrong?

“ **I guess that was worth seeing,** ” Cam finally said casually.

“ **What?** ” Daniel asked in surprise. “ **That's all you have to say?** ”

“ **Well, you guys made it out like it was this big deal. I expected something more spectacular.** ”

“ **Nope,** ” Jack said. “ **That's pretty much the extraction ceremony, right there. Yup** .” Everyone just stared at one another. “ **So, lunch, anyone?** ”

No one responded, the moment so oddly anticlimactic after the years of fighting Ba’al.

“ **I'm buying?** ” Jack added to the invitation.

“ **I'm in,** ” Cam said quickly.

Jack and Sam began to leave and she turned to him with a smile. “ **Actually, sir, I was hoping that we could go over the plans for the new moon base.** ”

“ **What moon base?** ” Jack said in confusion.

The rest of them began to follow Jack and Sam out, but Vala hesitated, looking over at the host left behind who was beginning to stir.

“ **You know, I think I might stay awhile and, um… help him through this.** ”

“ **Yeah, I thought you might,** ” Daniel said sympathetically. “ **Have fun.** ”

“ **Thanks,** ” Vala said with a small smile and shrug.

She walked back towards the extractor and Daniel turned to the rest of them.“ **He's in for an interesting afternoon.** ”

“ **Indeed,** ” Teal’c agreed.

Nes found herself still watching as the host woke up, as Adaarbal, original or otherwise, woke up.

“Did you want to stay, too?” Kevin asked gently.

“No...I doubt my presence would be helpful given my history with Ba’al.” She opened her mouth to speak, but wasn’t sure she really wanted to voice her fears.

“What’s wrong?”

“He said the things that Kappa used to say.”

“But he knew you were Tessa.”

“Yeah…”

“Well, I think we can assume that Ba’al and Kappa started working  _ together _ at some point.”

“Yeah…”

“Nes, it might have been either one of them, but all that stuff about Ba’al still being out there and having special plans...he was about to die and looking for some last bit of revenge.”

“Maybe…”

“Let’s get going, okay?”

They traveled back to Earth with the others and, after everyone had changed, went out to eat to celebrate Ba’al’s final demise, all choosing to ignore the threats they’d all witnessed. Nes tried her best to shove her concerns aside, but spent most of the time in silence, replaying his words again and again.

“I’m going to spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder,” Nes said as she and Kevin got home. She headed straight to the kitchen for a drink. “Just waiting for Ba’al to show up again.”

“He might never come back.”

“But what if he does?”

“Listen, Nes, we can be careful, we can be prepared, we can be watchful even, but we  _ cannot _ let the ‘what ifs’ kill any happiness we have. Don’t let him take away any more of your life, Nes.” He wrapped his arms around her. “Don’t let him take away any more of  _ our _ life, okay?”

She nodded, but knew she still looked skeptical.

“Hey, we have learned what’s really important in life so early on. We’ve whittled everything down to just the big priorities.”

“Right.” She gave him a completely serious look. “Houses and cars.”

A huge grin spread across his face. “Exactly. Houses and cars.” He pulled her closer, tightening his arms. “See? Now life will be so much better because we know what we should  _ really  _ focus on.”

“Most people have to wait for a midlife crisis for that kind of wisdom.”

“We’re ahead of the game.”

“We’ll have a good life, right, Kevin?”

“Mmhmm. It’ll probably be hard at times, too, but we’ll laugh, we’ll go to therapy...because we definitely need therapy...especially you.”

“Thanks,” she said dryly, but laughed as he just shrugged. It wasn’t like she could deny the truth of his statement.

“Maybe occasionally we’ll lose focus and think about things like love and family and being together, but then the next new car will be all shiny and new and call to us and we’ll be right back on track.”

He kissed her gently.

“I love you, ya know,” he said in all seriousness.

“Please. You just like kissing me.”

“That is  _ very _ true.”


	33. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stargate: Continuum

“Nes!” Cam called her name down the hall and she waited for him to catch up to her.

“What’s up?”

“A package was just delivered, has our names on it.”

“Whose names?”

“Yours and mine.”

“Why us?”

He shrugged. “It got through security so General Landry sent me to bring you to the Briefing Room. Where’s Elliot?”

“He was grabbing some stuff from his locker. We’ll be down in a minute.”

“Sounds good. I’m going to go find Carter.”

“She doesn’t head back to Atlantis until next week, right?”

“Yeah.” He smiled. “Don’t worry. She won’t leave without saying goodbye, Nessie.”

Nes feigned a dirty look at the nickname, but Cam just laughed as he took off in the other direction.

Kevin was a bit annoyed they had to hang around a bit longer. It’d been a long week and he’d been looking forward to a few days off.

“Alright, I’m here,” Nes said as she and Kevin came into the Briefing Room and saw a plain brown paper package on the table, surrounded by General Landry, Mitchell, Daniel, Teal’c, Sam, and Vala. “Any idea where it came from?”

“It was delivered by personal courier - the contents of a safety deposit box that was paid in advance until now, with instructions to deliver it to this location.”

“Well, that’s odd. How long did they hold it for?”

“Looks like they took possession of it in…” General Landry flipped through some paperwork. “...1983.”

“Twenty-five years? What on Earth could this even be?” Nes leaned over the box as Cam began to open it.

They both looked up at one another in surprise. Inside was a camera and memory cards - the same kind of camera and memory cards Nes currently had in her bag. She reached inside to pull them out, noting how much more worn these versions were than her own.

“This camera doesn’t come out until next year, sir. I got it a few weeks ago.”

“Wait, _next_ year?” Daniel asked. “How does that make sense?”

Nes just shrugged. “Money works just like a time machine sometimes.”

Cam reached into the box again and found a thick envelope as well as a notebook, which he began flipping through.

Nes grabbed his hand to stop him, looking closer at the pages. “That’s my handwriting.”

“What’s going on?” Kevin came closer to look in the box as well, but it was empty now, so he picked up the envelope and opened it. After a few moments he cleared his throat. “Did you two take a trip you didn’t tell me about?”

His voice had a definite edge to it and Nes looked over to see what he was referring to.

There, in his hands, was a stack of pictures, the first one being a picture of Nes and Cam, faces pressed together, big smiles. She had no memory of ever taking such a photo with him.

Kevin began to sift through the photos. Picture after picture after picture of Nes and Cam, smiling, kissing, laughing, but the photos were old, their clothing and hair dated, their faces aging as they went on.

“What the hell is this?” Nes finally said, looking up at General Landry for answers.

“Don’t look at me. I have just as much information as the rest of you.”

Nes reached for the memory cards. “Maybe these will help?”

“I’ll call one of the tech guys down to take a look.”

“Can I see the notebook?” She held out her hand to Cam, who was clearly stunned, but he gave it to her without a fight. Nes turned to the beginning and sat down to read.

“Read it out loud,” Cam said.

Nes hesitated, but finally spread the notebook in front of her, the others taking seats as well.

_Nes,_

_I’ve started this letter dozens of times over the years and who knows if this will be the last and final time, but I need to get everything down, even if it isn’t in any kind of polished form._

_I’m you._

_A different you, though we used to be the same._

_A long time ago for me and not very long ago for you, I/we attended the extraction ceremony for the final Ba’al...or so we thought. If we’ve done everything right, if we’ve fixed everything, that day is hopefully where our paths diverged. In the extraction ceremony I attended, everyone began disappearing (Vala and Teal’c first), and the clone (it turns out it was Kappa like you suspected) broke free. He stabbed Jack with the extraction needle and then...he got a hold of Jack’s zat. Kappa aimed at me, but Kevin jumped in front of me and was hit._

_Twice._

Nes had to stop reading to absorb those words. Kevin had died in that version of events.

She could see some smudges on the page that she guessed were this woman’s tears...her tears. She’d lost him just like she feared. All those nightmares of seeing him dead on Revanna...

“It’s not real, Nes,” Kevin said as he forced her to look up at him. “That’s not what happened.”

“It’s what happened to this me.” She took a deep breath, but then read on.

_Cam and Daniel grabbed Sam and me and made us run toward the gate as everything on the planet began to disappear as well. The four of us got through, but instead of the SGC, we found ourselves in the Arctic, aboard an old frozen ship. The Achilles._

“ **That name's familiar,** ” said Cam.

Daniel tapped the table. “ **Yeah, because it was the ship that brought the Stargate from Africa to America before the outbreak of World War II.** ”

“ **No, that's not why,** ” Cam muttered.

Daniel looked around at everyone. “ **See, at the time, they thought the Stargate might be a weapon of some kind, so they wanted to keep it out of the hands of the Nazis.** ”

Nes went back to reading again.

_Daniel likely just let you know that that’s the ship that brought the Stargate from Africa to America before the start of World War II, am I right?_

Nes looked up with a smile at Daniel. “I’d say she knows us.”

_I’m just assuming you’re reading this out loud with everyone there since I plan on having it delivered to the SGC...which means I’ll likely need to give you some warning on bits to maybe not read aloud._

“Oo! That means this is gonna get juicy at some point,” Vala said. “We should get popcorn.”

Daniel narrowed his eyes. “ **Do you realize what this means?** ”

“I’m not even sure what we’re talking about anymore,” Vala said as she leaned back in her chair. “When do we get to the good bits of the story?”

Daniel ignored her. “The alternate versions of us watched people and places disappear and then, when they gated back to Earth, they ended up in the hold of the ship that had transported the gate nearly seventy years ago. Do you _realize_ what had happened in that timeline?”

Sam leaned forward. “ **Well, obviously Ba'al had gone back in time and stopped the ship that was carrying the Stargate from ever reaching the United States**.”

Cam looked skeptical “ **By sending it to the North Pole.** ”

“ **Yeah, apparently.** ”

“ **Carter, that is a** **_terrible_ ** **plan**.”

“ **Yeah, but you have no problem with the fact that he went back in time?** ”

“ **All I'm saying is, why not just sink the damn boat?** ”

“He’s got a point,” Nes said.

Sam continued. “ **I think the bigger point here is that Ba'al had rewritten history. Teal'c and Vala just disappeared because they’d never joined SG-1. The Stargate program had never happened.** ”

“Okay...but then why did those versions of us even remember the old timeline?” Cam asked.

“ **Maybe because they were in transit through the Stargate when the timeline shifted.** ”

“ **Well, Ba'al never would've intended that gate to wind up anywhere but the bottom of the ocean,** ” Cam said. “ **Something went wrong, and they were not supposed to make it back to Earth alive. That was his first mistake.** ”

Nes looked around before starting to read again.

_We made our way out onto the ice and were eventually found by Jack...but not our Jack. The timeline was messed up. Sam was a dead astronaut._ **_A computer failure forced her space shuttle’s main engines to shut down before it could reach a safe orbit or a secondary landing site. When the autopilot also failed,_ ** _Sam, as_ **_Mission Commander, stayed behind to fly it, while her crew bailed out of the escape hatch. The orbiter went down over the Atlantic, and her body was never recovered._ **

“ **I imagine you're an extraordinary person in whatever timeline you happen to be in,** ” General Landry said to Sam with a smile, who blushed slightly.

_Cam didn’t exist at all (his grandfather had been the captain of the -_

“ **\- the ocean freighter Achilles!** ” Cam slapped his palm onto the table and pointed at Daniel. “ **That's how I know the name. Grandma had a picture of him** and one of his crew **standing beside his ship in Boston Harbor. It's the one in my locker right now.** ” His face fell. “ **Ba'al must've killed the crew when he’d gated aboard.** ”

“ **Wow** ,” Sam said. “ **You were literally a grandfather paradox.** ”

_Daniel was still being ridiculed for his theories on the pyramids as landing sites for alien spacecraft._

“Figures,” sighed Daniel.

_And I was in jail awaiting a death sentence as The Butcher. Well, the other Tessa was in jail. It took a while, a long while, of explaining, but they eventually believed our story. Of course, none of them wanted to change the timeline back, despite us being positive at that point that it had been Ba’al who had caused the problem._

Cam leaned forward. “Wait, so she says we weren’t allowed to fix the timeline...but here we are.”

“I would think that she will get to that, Colonel Mitchell,” Teal’c said.

“But where was Ba’al in that timeline?” General Landry asked. “ **If all this was part of some plan, where was he?**

“ **Man has a point,** ” Cam said, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms.

“ **Okay,** ” Daniel said, “ **if his plan was to take over Earth, he would first have had to reestablish a power base with the other System Lords. Now, that wouldn't be easy. Now if his plan died with him, then -** ”

Sam cut him off. “ **Or, he was still in the process of establishing his power, and it was just a matter of time.** ”

They all sat in thought for a few moments, but Nes continued again.

_Instead, they set us up with new identities, gave us places to live, all in different parts of the country, of course, and Sam and I were given strict warnings to behave ourselves due to our very different kinds of fame. I tried to do as I was told...okay, no, I didn’t, but...well, we both know it was never going to last. I quickly fell off their radar. I first looked into their Tessa and, from what I could gather, Sekhmet had left her as the scapegoat, while she found a new host. Still, it wasn’t difficult to steal money here and there from Sekhmet to live off of (probably drove her crazy!)._

_Eventually, I found myself in Spokane, where I’d learned Kevin was living with his parents after being injured in Iraq. I drove past his house far too many times, but never even caught a glimpse of him. One day I may have encouraged one of my tires to go a bit flat right in front of his house and worked up the nerve to go knock on the door. I’d like to say I was smooth, already knowing him so well, but I could only stare. Seeing him alive, breathing, but...angry. Apparently staring tends to piss someone off quite a bit after they’ve lost their legs in combat. Fortunately, I convinced him to help walk me through changing a tire._

“You know how to change a tire, ya big liar,” said Kevin with a laugh.

“That’s what you got out of that. Not ‘What do you mean I had no legs?’”

He shrugged. “Yeah, I noted that, too. Get on with it.”

_He’d gotten depressed after losing his legs, but of course, I was charming and he thought I was wonderful and I hope he’s sitting right next to you now rolling his eyes at you._

Nes looked up to catch him doing exactly that and he froze in guilt.

_We hit it off. He was so much the same. So much. He’d been in a convoy hit by an IED and just hadn’t bounced back yet. I convinced him to let me take him out as thanks and...oh, I missed him so much._

Again, Nes saw smudges on the paper and felt her own eyes well up thinking of herself in that position. She cleared her throat and took a deep breath to go on.

_You should maybe just read this next bit to yourself quietly, though Kevin’s welcome to read over your shoulder._

She held up a finger to ask everyone to wait while Vala complained. Nes picked up the notebook and leaned over to Kevin so he could see as well.

_Things progressed at a significantly more...rapid pace than our first time around, but I couldn’t help it. I missed him so much, though fortunately, everything was so much the same and things were very...intense for a while._

Nes and Kevin both chuckled at that.

_You can probably start reading aloud again._

So she did.

_Things were going well with Kevin and I think we could have been happy together, but Ba’al wasn’t going to wait forever to come after Earth._

_He’d been establishing himself as leader of the System Lords, using his knowledge of the future, before journeying to enslave Earth. Unfortunately for me, ahead of the invasion, Ba’al sent Jaffa to search the planet for a Tessa James, Nesert Saeda, or Kevin Elliot. They showed up at Kevin’s house while I was there, a twofer, and also broke Tessa James out of prison. They were led by his First Prime...Teal’c (I learned later that Ba’al had offered Teal’c freedom for the Jaffa if he helped him fight the other System Lords)._

_We were taken up to Ba’al’s ha’tak. He was pleased to see me, but confused as well with two of me. Once he realized that I had somehow managed to escape the timeline change, he was furious, and I could see he was going to make Kevin pay for it. I…_

“She what?” Kevin leaned forward.

“She’s crossed out several attempts.” Nes turned the page.

_There’s no good way to say it. I could see that I needed to ingratiate myself with Ba’al again if I had any hope of figuring out how he’d changed the timeline. Kevin only had torture and death to look forward to._

_I killed him._

_The other Tessa, too._

Nes felt sick. How could she have done that? Would she _herself_ have done the same? Was she capable of that as well?

Kevin placed a hand over hers. “It’s okay, Nes. Keep reading.”

_Seventy years had certainly blurred some of Ba’al’s memories of my betrayals and I encouraged all the remembrances of the enjoyable times. Now would also be a good time to just read to yourself...maybe don’t let Kevin read either._

“Again, all the good bits,” Vala said as she slumped back in her chair.

_To satisfy your curiosity...things with Ba’al were...just as expected, probably better, but still nothing like Kevin. I guess you can have him read that bit after all and read aloud again._

_It was easy to slip back into Sekhmet’s personality and gain Ba’al’s trust again. He had found an Ancient outpost monitoring solar flares and had adapted it for time travel when he’d come across how a flare had intersected with a wormhole and sent SG-1 back to 1969._

“And where did he learn about us traveling back in time...Nes?” Daniel asked with suspicion.

“That was definitely not me. You forget how deep The Trust had gotten at one point.”

_When he’d seen Kappa was one of the last clones, he offered him a deal: bring me to him and he would bring him to the past to assist him in restoring his empire. Ba’al told Kappa the truth about me, about not being Sekhmet, about our betrayal. That’s why we thought he was Ba’al at first._

She thought for a moment. “Well, that explains what he was working on that I couldn’t figure out and what Kappa had made threats about. He would ‘catch up with me...at some point in time.’”

_Of course, Ba’al’s greatest weakness seems to have been his inability to discern the motives of women. He’d made Qetesh his queen when he’d traveled back in time, even finding Vala at some point and forcing Qetesh to take her as a new host. Fifty years, he hadn’t allowed her to leave his side. So you can imagine that when Qetesh learned of my presence through a few jaffa devoted to her, she wasn’t happy in the least. She’d already endured all that time with him and now, as all his plans were coming to fruition, he had begun to transfer his affections._

_And so, when he showed up in Earth’s orbit with his fleet and the other System Lords, offering peace and prosperity (knowing that conquering them was an unwise decision. He had learned quite a lot during his time on Earth), Qetesh was fearful she would lose all the power she had hoped to have. Ba’al showed far too much familiarity with the planet and her suspicion of him grew tenfold. She interrogated and then killed him, learning about the Ancient outpost and his time traveling._

“So _I_ killed Ba’al?” Vala said excitedly.

“Well, technically _Qetesh_ killed Ba’al in a _different_ timeline, so...no?” Daniel looked to Sam.

“Correct.”

_Teal’c had been tasked with final instructions from Ba’al should he be killed. Fortunately, those plans included me, so Teal’c took me and his loyal jaffa aboard a cloaked al’kesh and down to the surface, locating the Stargate in Russia (I guess I forgot to mention that we had told that timeline about the gate in Antarctica, but Ba’al had bombarded McMurdo as well as the Ancient outpost when he’d first arrived. The Russians had gotten a hold of the Stargate on the Achilles). Cam, Daniel, and Sam were also informed about that Stargate and we all ended up there together. After a bit of a standoff, we agreed to sort out our differences once through the gate as the building was about to be destroyed by Qetesh. We found ourselves on Praxyon, where the solar observation outpost was located._

_Once Teal’c learned that our timeline granted his people freedom, he willingly helped us. Of course, Qetesh arrived far too quickly and we didn’t have the time to find the perfect time period to go back to to try to stop Ba’al. Instead we had to make do with traveling to 1929, about 10 years before Ba’al would arrive. During the firefight with Qetesh’s jaffa, Daniel, Sam, and Teal’c were all killed. Cam and I barely made it through the gate in time._

“Damn,” Cam said quietly.

_With the Stargate only unburied a year before, we found ourselves in Egypt, though fortunately, we came through the gate when no one was around._

_So we had ten years to prepare and wait for Ba’al and try our best to not disrupt the timeline even further. With my knowledge of that time period from Sekhmet, we were able to stay out of the way of most things and I again stole from Sekhmet at times, things I knew she wouldn’t miss...though you might. If you discover things missing from houses...that was probably Cam and me._

_Obviously in the thirties, we couldn’t travel together as friends, so we took on new names and claimed to be married from the start. And well...one thing led to another._

“One thing led to another?!” Vala slammed back in her chair, crossing her arms. “I swear she is _the_ laziest writer! Isn’t it _her_ job to tell us what one thing led to another thing?”

Nes smiled. “I think you can use your imagination, Vala.”

“I don’t think you want me to.” She looked back and forth between Nes and Cam. “My imagination is _extremely_ vivid.”

Nes couldn’t help but chuckle.

Cam looked up at Kevin, though, clearly feeling uncomfortable and maybe a bit guilty. “Well, it’s not like we had any other options.”

“Gee, thanks, Cam,” Nes said with mock offense.

“Not that I wouldn’t want to...I mean…” Again he looked to Kevin who had raised eyebrows at the man’s stumbling.

Nes returned to the letter to break the tension.

_Ya know what? I’ll just write a second letter with more...details...just for you._

“I really don’t like this version of you, Nes,” Vala pouted.

_Anyway, ten years later, we were able to sneak aboard the Achilles and then wait for Ba’al to come through the Stargate. As much as I tried to persuade Cam to let me take my time with the goa’uld, he shot him in the head the moment he came through the gate. The look on his face when he saw the two of us, though, oh, it was beautiful._

_So there ya go, Ba’al is dead. The real Ba’al. Really dead._

Nes’ voice cracked as she got to those words.

Ba’al was dead. Permanently.

She leaned forward as relief pushed off the weight and worry she’d been carrying and put her forehead down onto the cool table. Kevin’s hand rubbed her neck and stroked her hair for a while, but she finally sat up with a smile.

“He’s gone.”

Kevin’s grin filled his face. “He is.”

Nes returned to the writing.

_Cam’s grandfather helped us get set up in the States once we arrived, covering up the entire incident aboard the ship. We lived in a cabin on some land owned by Sekhmet that I knew she didn’t watch properly (if it’s still there, it’s located on the grounds of her ranch in Montana). We had a good life there. I’ll include photographs we took when we carefully ventured into civilization when we couldn’t stand the isolation anymore. And hopefully my camera has salvageable pictures and videos, as well._

Right on cue, a tech came in with the necessary equipment to see what was on the memory cards. He set it up and then the general dismissed him.

Nes read what seemed to be the last paragraph for this more public letter.

_Cam and I loved one another. We were happy. And he’s been gone now for almost ten years and I miss him desperately. I expect I won’t be around much longer either. I hope the things we did changed the right things and didn’t change the wrong things. I’ve done my best to record my life for you to go over and see if things are at least close. I would ask you to kiss Cam for me, but I expect Kevin wouldn’t appreciate that, but you can at least give him a hug. Thank him for giving me a good life, for loving me, for taking care of me._

The page had quite a few smudges and Nes got rather choked up as well thinking of this woman’s life.

Cam cleared his throat. “Maybe we should see what’s on the memory cards, sir?” he said to the general.

A video was first and it started with Nes sitting in a chair, her hair longer, her face a bit older, an empty chair next to her in a small cabin.

_“Come on,” she said to someone behind the camera. “Cam, I’ve already started recording so get over here.”_

Everyone in the room chuckled as a bearded Cam came into view and begrudgingly sat down.

_“So…” Nes looked over to Cam. “We should have had drinks for this.”_

_“Yes, that will be so much better. Why not be drunk when recording a video that our alternate selves will watch in the future?” He lowered his voice, but they could still hear his mumbling. “You know what you’re like after a few drinks.”_

_“And comments like that are better?”_

_Nes leaned forward and shut off the camera._

The screen went black, but they reappeared, both with a glass in hand.

_Cam groaned. “I don’t want to do this.”_

_“Too bad.”_

_“He’s going to watch this, ya know? He’s going to be sitting next to you at the Briefing Room table while I explain that I’m sleeping with his wife.”_

Mitchell made a choking sound.

_“Nicely done, Cam.”_

_“There’s no good way to say it, Nessie.”_

Nes and Cam both glanced at one another at the use of the nickname.

_“Well, you’re technically sleeping with his widow and I’m currently your wife, so…”_

_“Except we’re not legally married.”_

_“Well, we don’t exist, so it’s a bit difficult to get a marriage license.”_

_Cam rubbed his eyes with a groan. “Alright, fine, but first you’re going to let me record something alone.”_

_“What? Why?”_

_“Because you are.” He grabbed Nes’ hand and led her offscreen. He came back a few moments later, leaning forward to speak quietly, running his hand through his hair._

_“Elliot...I’m sorry, man. I know this probably pisses you off, but...you died...twice actually. You’ve been gone well over ten years now. And...I love her. I need her.” He dragged his hand across his face. “I’m doing my best to take care of her, to give her a good life, to make her happy. I’m sorry you’re not here with her, but…” he chuckled and smiled “...to be honest, it’s hard for me to be sorry. But you don’t need to worry about the version of me there trying to break up your marriage. I’ll admit that I was definitely fond of Nessie back then, but more like a difficult little sister. It wasn’t until here...until being with her day in and day out, getting to know her…” Cam swallowed hard and then sat up and called Nes back inside._

_“Were you saying all sorts of wonderful things about me?” her voice came from off camera._

_He leaned his head back and looked up the ceiling. “No. I was telling Elliot that I can’t believe what a handful you are.” He looked back down, but past the camera and a smirk came across his face. “At least turn off the damn camera.”_

Mitchell stood abruptly. “Sir, permission to be excused. I think Nes can watch everything else on her own.”

“Agreed,” Kevin said far too quickly.

“Nes, Sam, and I can watch them,” Vala volunteered.

“How about nobody watches them?” Kevin was certainly agitated.

“This was their life. They clearly wanted someone to know what they’d gone through.” Vala had a good point, but her motivations were too obvious for her to be helpful.

“Sam, Vala, and I will watch them and see if there’s anything valuable,” Nes finally said.

“Club meeting! I’ll get the popcorn.”

“Not helping, Vala.”

*****

The rest of the videos went over a lot of what was in the first letter, but Nes was more intrigued by the dynamic between these versions of herself and Cam. As they got older, as they forgot about their old lives, they were so comfortable with one another, so grateful to not be alone.

“Learn anything interesting?”

Nes turned around in the corridor to find Cam, also making his way to the surface to head home.

“A few things. You should just watch them.”

Cam ran his hand through his hair. “I don’t know. Is this going to make things awkward, Nes?”

She gave him a smile. “Probably for a while, but I expect we’ll all relax again soon.”

“Good.” He paused, but seemed to have more to say. “It’s hard to not feel a bit jealous of that Cam, though.”

Nes raised her eyebrows and was suddenly terrified of what he was going to say, but Cam was lost in his own thoughts.

“I mean, despite everything, it seems like he had a long and happy life, a long and happy marriage.” He looked up at her. “You’re already on your way there with Elliot, but what if that’s the only version of me that ever gets that?”

“Cam, a version of you somehow found a way to have a good marriage with a very screwed up former serial killer. I think that lends quite a bit of credence to commitment playing a bigger role than simply compatibility.”

He chuckled. “I suppose.”

“I’m serious, Cam. You want a good marriage? Commit. Those versions of us? They had no other options, they had no other choice, and because of that, they worked hard to make things work, to make one another happy.”

He nodded, his expression thoughtful now.

“By the way, how’s that girl from your high school reunion? Amy Vander-something.”

His face shifted to a shy smile. “She’s good, coming up for a visit next weekend.”

“I’m glad.”

“Elliot going to hate me, Nes?”

She laughed. “He might for a little bit. Maybe bring up Amy in conversations...a lot.”

Cam smiled. “Will do. Goodnight, Nes.”

“Night, Cam.”

They parted ways, and while Nes could certainly understand how the two of them had grown into something more than friends, she was still content to be heading home to Kevin.

*****

“Have fun?” Kevin asked with a hint of sadness when she got inside the house. He was sitting in the living room with a beer in his hand.

“It was odd more than anything else. How mad are you?”

Kevin leaned forward as she sat down on the coffee table in front of him. “I don’t know if I’m mad, Nes. I don’t really have any right to be. _You_ didn’t do anything wrong. _She_ didn’t do anything wrong. Mitchell didn’t do anything wrong. And the other Mitchell didn’t do anything wrong either.”

“You’ve just already had to watch me with other people too often.”

He nodded. “Yes. Far too often.” He patted the seat next to him and she came over to sit. “I have to ask, though...has there ever been anything between you and Mitchell?”

“Never.”

“But you did that mission infiltrating the Lucian Alliance together.”

“Yes, along with Teal’c and I believe when it was over he told Daniel that he didn’t remember me making his head hurt so much before.” She gave Kevin a smile which he returned. “You heard the Cam on the video. He sees me as an annoying little sister.”

“And how do you see him?”

Nes shrugged. “Like an annoying big brother who wouldn’t just let me crawl into a hole and die like I wanted to after I was hurt on Dakara. I guess I’ve always had a special ‘fondness’ for him as well since then.”

“Well, I can certainly appreciate him helping out then, especially since I was an idiot and wasn’t here for you.”

“You weren’t here because I pushed you away.”

“I wasn’t here because I let my jealousy blind me to what was really going on.”

“You would’ve wanted Cam to do exactly as that Cam did, though, right?”

Kevin sighed. “Yeah. I’d have wanted him to take care of you. I just don’t like the idea of anyone doing that except me.”

“Neither do I.” She put her head on his shoulder. “But on a good note, Ba’al is really gone.”

He wrapped his arms around her. “Yes. Good job, alternate versions of you and Mitchell.”

Nes chuckled. “And on a different note, in the more private letter...that Vala and Sam also read most of...Nes, the other Nes, she offered me some advice.”

“Yeah?”

“Our lives didn’t diverge until the extraction ceremony, so she and her Kevin had the same conversation about kids. Obviously, she and Cam couldn’t have kids without risking massive upheaval of the timeline and...it was a definite loss. She...she told me to not let fear lead to regrets. She didn’t have a choice. I do.”

“Well, that sounds like good advice.”

“It sounds like scary advice.”

“Pretty sure those are usually the same thing.”

*End*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it! Thank you so much to everyone who read about Nes! I'd love to hear your thoughts!


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